It's ok.
Have a massive public melt down.
Drink it away,
you'll forget
Are your teeth perfect and white?
Clothes ironed?
Hair done up?
If you've drank too much
or you're beat to ****
have a friggin
Jolly Rancher.
It'll be ok....
Just as long as you smell
like a jolly rancher
Throw glasses at the elderly cook
Bring home men way too young
who know nothing except
Nothing
But make **** sure
You eat that
Jolly Rancher

We watch, report
Write it out
Then contort
Watchers, poets, writers, scribes
Feel too much
Wrenching, inside
Its our job, not to sleep at night
To think too much
About life's plight
One watcher, will be drawn to another
All akin,
Sisters, brothers, lovers
It's what we are
In ancient times
They called us,
"The Scribes"
Old souls,
We everyone bare
It's a hard business
Not at all fair
But it's our job, chosen or not
To see, to feel,
To "watch" every plot
Our thoughts, can drown us
Or perhaps, heal
But with every action
More is revealed
For we are the "watchers"
With purpose, we live
And with our words written, spoken
'Tis life, we all give

Tulips catch sky water for the fairies today
Late blooming March Bells,
the only sun
Dandelions dance, taking even the breath of The Almighty
In their glistening glory
Weeping Cherry tree sways, as though she's a ballerina,
Covered in perfectly cut crystals
Oil on the street,
becomes a rainbow with fragments of light,
stolen from heaven
As I watch,
Heaven falls
Making love with every earthen thing
giving shine
Love
Nourishing
Spring Rains

I always wanted to be a "Bond Woman"
The kind of woman James Bond would want
****, exciting, worldly, mysterious
Bossoms to die for
But no,
I'm a "book woman"
The kind of woman who can recite Emily Dickenson in my sleep
Reading glasses that are eternally falling off my face
Bossoms?
Not so much
When the Bond women are wet,
They look like water goddesses
I look like a drowned rat
Plus my glasses fog up
A blind, drowned rat
I think its safe to say,
I'll never be a "Bond Woman"
I'm a "Book Woman"
And I guess that's ok

Here's to all us "Book Women"

Our hearts,
So much like trees
The heart dies a slow death
Each hope,
A leaf
They all blow away,
One by one
Till nothing is left

Do you remember the honeysuckle?
The way it smelled then, So sweet
The scent permeated the summer air
Down by the lake where we would meet
The sound of waves on the lake
Was the music we made love to
Sneaking away, you and I
To be together for a few
I can't help but to smile
When I see those yellow and white blooms
Do you remember the honeysuckle?
It reminds me of you

You said to me,
" Wow, I think my heart beats an extra time when get I too excited."
I thought " Its because my heart beats in there too.
You are my heart disease,
As I've given my heart to you."

The stars are now sleeping
Mother moon, at rest
Father sun, out with a smile
Shining at his best
The birds are all singing
In the brightness of day
Morning fog starts to clear
Swept with sun rays
No clouds to be seen
Skies are all blue
Father suns sweet rays
Drink the morning dew
Such a sight from the mountain top
A lovely winter tale
Nature's bounty all around
Daylights beauty, unveiled

In and of our singular truths
Peering through lustful eyes
We become things of paranoia
All the things we despise

We tend to hate mystery
Things we fail to understand
Constantly worry about status quo
Capitalise on supply and demand

Laugh at our brothers loss
Hoard up our pennies and dimes
Never lend a helping hand
To those in hard times

Hate our neighbor of color
Wish upon them a horrid demise
Then when karma calls
We stand wide-eyed in surprise

Kindness is considered weakness
Love, a sinful shame
If one doesn't fit the mold
Then by all means, slander their name

We may all believe differently
But yet we are the same
We each breathe in and out
And humanity is our name

I live,
In the lucidity of dreams
Undreamt

Eternally naked,
In front of a crowd
Yet, dwelling
In a trench coat style
I'll bare you my soul,
Yet hide my face
I prefer my words, on the wind
Felt,
Never heard
A fading voice
In the chamber of
Never Unlocked
In the realm of things touched
I remain untouched
Unkown
Reality holds no fascination for my eyes
I went blind when the hopscotch grid got washed away by the rain

I live
In the lucidity,
Of dreams
Undreamt

I snort poetry
Just give me a rhyme
I'll breathe it in deep
Like a******* line
I love words
Poetry and prose
I'll snort 'em right up
Like I'm sniffin a rose
They give me a buzz
Get me high
Give me wings
And then I fly
Way more addictive
Than any drug I've tried
Write me a poem
I'll read it and get fried

The Lady had him chained
In that white, tile room
Where she'd spent many painful hours
Contemplating her doom
The police didn't even
Have a clue he was missing
The Lady hired a *******
Who drugged him while kissing
The poor dumb *****
As a witness was silenced
She lay dead in the alley way
Her death, it was violent
Now, in the white tile room
He'd been bleeding all the while
The Lady stood outside the door
Wearing a murderous smile
He awoke with a scream
Looked around, saw fingers missing
He remembered fading out
While he and the ***** had been kissing
Realising where he was
His bleeding body began to shake
He knew The Lady was taking revenge
For all his ****** mistakes
Many nights he'd chained her here
Just to hear her scream
But now he was in her place
Like a bad ******* dream
Outside the door he heard a noise
It was a murderous humming
He knew that sound well
It was a chainsaw running
The Lady stepped through the door
Rage on her face
He struggled to get away
But he would lose this race
The Lady revved the chainsaw up
He started to beg
The Lady wouldn't hear it
And off came his leg
Now that white tile room
Wasn't white anymore
Blood, fingers, and body parts
Littered the floor
The Lady slid down the wall
Sat down and took a breath
Now all around her
Was the sight and smell of death
The Lady didn't mind
No, she didn't care
Because in Love and war
All is fair

I'm burnt,
I've dwelt in the flames
These metaphors we choose to speak in
Well,
They're lies
I burn
No metaphor needed
Half moons consume my skin
As I crave
Heart beats
I lack one
And I know,
You dont believe
But they say
I'm pretty
In
Flames

Beauty,
It can never be seen
But felt
It can never reside on a face
Beauty,
Its in a smile given
The stillness of the lake
After a storm
Leaves coloured, and falling
A summer rain
Beautiful,
Is words spoken in love
A feeling of kinship
Its the smile on a sleeping babies face
It can be found in laughter,
Sometimes tears
Beautiful,
So elusive, yet everywhere
Skin, will fade, wrinkle, and sag
It will age and turn to dust
But real
Beauty,
Never fades
As real Love,
Never dies

A fragment of mist contained within a black and grey rainbow
Drop of acid rain
Scent of sulfur on a sunny day
The thorn that ****** the finger of the rose given Lady
A speechless recording
Out of tune song, sang by crows
Hair on a starving mans plate
A childs screaming nightmare, at the witching hour
Golden haired sinner amongst the feast of all saints
Me
~A

I wish I was Wonder Woman
Protecting the innocent from lies
I'd look hot as hell in a cape
And man would it rock to fly
I'd put an end to injustice
Make all the wrong things right
I'd kick evils ***
And flex my muscles to show my might
When ever a child cried
Right there I would be
To put an end to unhappiness
Any abuse and misery
In my spare time I'd ****** Batman
I mean lets face it, cat woman can't fly
**** she may be
But Batman would be mine
And whenever I'd fly overhead
People would say, Look! Its she!
There goes Wonder Woman
And her name is Amanda B!

I saw a Stone Lady looking my way
With her eternal grey eyes
She held a stone water jug
She was staring intensly at me,
So I asked,
Stone Lady, what hidest thou in thine  unblinking stare?
To my utter amazement,
She replied,
Eternity,
You temporary thing.

The stone Angel fascinates me
and repulses me
It stands about 8 feet tall in a fountain
Its made of white fake stone
It pees
He wears a gown and has wings
His white hands gather around his middle holding a far too small water jug
Unless your within 2 feet of it
You can't see the little stone jug
It stands at the Corner of Tennessee Avenue and Beech Street here
*******
in front of an ugly little strip mall
I walk by it and we smile together
That Angel and I
I said to it one day," How lucky you are to get to eternally **** on this MayBerry Hell"
He smiled back
He pees as the children play by
As temporary lovers hold hands
He pees as the old people hobble by with their canes
When giving directions, people here actually say,"You know, it's down by where that Angel pees." ***
Sometimes I wish I were he

I was raised up a Southern Baptist,
Never missed a Sunday
There I'd be, fourth row back
To hear what the preacher would say
He preached of pearly gates,
Streets paved with gold
He said we'd see our passed loved ones
And treasures we would behold
He spoke of damnation should we stray
In the lake of fire there to dwell
But honestly, I always thought,
I'd have to die to go to hell

I drown,
In the depths of your eyes
I should feel shame
But to say it is a lie
I'm lost in your touch,
The smell of your skin
With you,
Hell is worth our sin
To taste your lips,
Breathe your breath
I would die
A thousand deaths
I will stand at Hells gates
And smile passing through
Just to know
I'll burn with you

I drown in the careless glow of the moon
He bares me an eternal wink
And I sink
in the forever fading,
blue velvet sky
Grasping for the faintest hope of
Reality
The sins I cling to,
make the stars gasp
My face burried in White skirts
As I have the strange tendency
to wear white chiffon
To funerals

How I wish I could grow wings,
I'd fly away
Maybe catch a ride on a shooting star,
Go to where the fairies play
I wonder if there's such a place
Where ballerinas with wings,
Dance in eternal grace
Where woodnymphs play music in the trees
And the fairies glide,
Upon the sweet smelling breeze
You'd never have to cry there,
Lovers never part
So you never have to worry,
About mending a broken heart
The flowers are all made of silk,
That way they never die
No one ever leaves you,
So there's no reason for "goodbye"
There's no winter chill,
The silk flowers always in bloom
And how it makes the fairies laugh,
To see the snow flakes fly in June
Sand castles last Forever there,
In a kingdom by the sea
The butterflies sing in tune,
With the woodnymphs music in the trees
So if I'm ever missing,
That is where I'll be
Playing with the fairies,
In that kingdom,
By the sea

No one told me,
Death, was a she
She stopped by my house,
We had tea
She spread her black wings
In my sitting room,
She was beautiful
But smelled of doom,
I called her a *****,
She said to me,
"Sorry, my dear,
I'm necessity."

If it makes you feel any better,
I'm not happy
My life is lonely
I can't help how I look

The number of friends I have
You can count on three fingers
One of which is my house keeper
Paid friend

I've loved, but never known the feeling of being loved
I can't grace the world with another child
My legs no longer permit me the beauty of dance
I'm a former coke addict, current drunk

I cry too much and whine the world full
I deny myself the joy of colour in my wears

I'm a *****
No, I've not had any "plastic surgery"
I am that I am
Another anonymous mammal

I intake too much caffeine
Lately too much nicotine
I cuss and have fits
Tantrums,
As I am right now

Yea,
Just another anonymous mammal

I wished for you,
On a winters falling star
I wasn't waiting for it
It just shot
Clear across the sky
Then faded to nothingness
As all things do
It took a second for me to realise
What I'd just seen
I've seen so few
Never bothered to wish on any
I didn't wish for money or fame
I wished for you

My eyes squeezed shut
Then right out loud,
I wished for you
It was so cold that night
The star had come from the dark
Leaping out of the night sky
With your name on it

I kind of got my wish
You see, I didn't wish for your love
Only for you
And with YOU
Came tears, loneliness,
Pain

Next time I wish,
I wont wish on a falling star
Because they are dying
Leaping from eternity
My next wish
Will be on a living,
Twinkling star
Staying firmly in place,
Shining brightly

Teeth, and gums
A beat
Drums
Biting,
Tearing of flesh
Pain,
With "LOVE"
Ameshed,
Bleeding hearts
Pieces,
And parts

The shadows held me under the moon
And I danced with darkness last night
In my bare feet out in the cold
I finally stopped searching for the light
Darkness cradled me tenderly
At last, I conceded
I always thought it was the light
I had so desperately needed
We danced wildly under the stars
Darkness and I
For the first time in my life
I had no need to ask why
I knew I belonged
In the nights cool embrace
The dew and the fog
Softly kissed my face
The shadows and stars
Watched with great pride
As I finally gave in
And became the nights bride

Would you walk with me?
Just For a while
That "line" Mr. Cash
Brought into style
Will you keep the ends up
For the ties that bind?
For me,
Will you walk the "the line"?
For you,
I keep my eyes wide open
All the time
But for me,
Would you walk,"The Line"?
Is it easy
For your heart to be true?
Because I walk,"The Line"
Just For you

All these artists gather here on my floor
Three evenings
Poets, painters, musicians
Arguing, playing

I don't need streets of gold
The angels couldn't possibly make this music
Its weekend
And they gather

I'm a muse to many
So they say
A minority
My pitiful poetry and dance

But I dwell in these hills
With them
And my mahogany floors
Rests their shoes

Loud and melodous
Joey picks a tune and yells about fascism
Maria, sings her Spanish tunes
Stella laughs and dances our dance

Jimmy plays the strings to fire and ash
Chris beats the drums like an angry demon
Portia paints scenes that bring tears
Chloe makes her black and whites burst with every colour

They gather on my floors
I lay on the pillows and smile for them
With my liquor
They tell me I'm pretty

Catch my tears in mason jars
Moonshine passed between artists and lips
My house can't hold them all
We lack a banjo

Some "rap" some sing
Some write others paint
We all argue and fuss
Its a scene of crazy great



How I wish you all were here too

She guessed she was, just one of his "girls"
He thought he'd Delight her, with a few of his twirls
But he didn't notice, while the others wore pink
She was dressed in black, having a drink
Nothing like them, insane, her middle name
She didn't just dance circles, she played the game
She'll burn your house down, while you sleep
So pray the Lord, your soul to keep
And should you die, before you wake
Anything worth a ****, she will take
She'll lock it up deep, in her trophy chest
Placing your things, with all the rest
And She won't do it, in an arena
She's a 'burn your house down', ballerina
Dancing in ashes
That's her fashion
Her Pointe slippers, tainted black
Not rhythm but Empathy, she lacks
Never involve yourself, in a crazy dance
Or Being burned alive, is a definite chance
It's just her nature, who she is
She'll drink your coke, but she won't **** with fizz

I recall our high place
Where we worshipped on summer nights
Sitting on the pond bank
Watching the sky's reflection on the still waters
Every star perfectly mirrored
We skipped stones along the lucid summer sky
Paying our tithes with moist kisses
Eternity whispered in our ears with breezes
Prayers scattered along the waters edge in white flower petals
We two children, closer to whatever God resided then in our hearts,
Than we would ever be again
Our laughter echoed like church bells rang on Sundays for worship call
The moon, our reverend, calling our hearts
To The Great Alter of All That Is
Time was still and stollen
We lived then,
I go there sometimes still and think of you
Since you were plucked so carelessly as the most beautiful of lotus lillies
~A

Mr. Bukowski,
Well, does that house next door still,
make you sad?
With the two kids and all, in bed by 9
And the absent mom and dad
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
How fair the ice cream people?
Do they vote still,
For a cruel man?
You didn't vote,
Nor do most of we
The insane
But,
Do you carry a vote now?
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
How the hell is Cass?
She's kept me awake
Many nights,
Is she still beautiful?
I bet so
And Mr. Bukowski,
What of the girlfriends,
You didn't wish to see?
Do you see them?
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
I miss you.

It's far into the a.m. and I don't sleep
Cant seem to get you out,
Of my head
You're there
Still
The undead, rotten thing you are
I'm going to have to **** you,
Again
As I've murdered your memory hundreds of times
It stinks of death
As did your decaying heart
I've drown you in whiskey,
So many times
If I ever did love you,
You killed it, with that first bruise
When we were 16
All the makeup and lies
For shame
For ignorance
There are still blood stains here
They seep through the paint
My blood
My never ending, waking nightmare
I'm dead you know
You killed me
Maybe not my body,
But my soul
I feel nothing,
Save shame, rage
I'm going to have to **** you,
This fear of you
Your haunting memory,

Somehow.......

And I'm already dead
The dead never sleep.

Feast at my death
Lament thee not, at my passing
For I am but a vapor
A winter's breath,
Upon the lips of love

Mirror of my soul
Love, for whom the bells of my heart toll
How can I make you understand,
I'd swim the widest ocean, just to hold your hand
Though we were together for such a short while
My heart still shines remembering your smile
The sound of you saying my name so sweet
The way you touched me when we would meet
The feel of your body against mine
In great love we would intwine
But like a thief in the night you slipped away
Leaving only sweet memories to fill my days

I've been at it for 13 hours in whisky and whining
I'm afraid
I speak more to the poets here than my own blood
And everyone is ready to leave
I handled a divorce better
If you all go
I go
What is this FUCKERY?
A joke?
Punishment?
Please fix it back
Most poets don't like change because no change for us has ever been for the better
Some of you, I've written with, cried with, spoken with, and yes
LOVED
for years
You go,
I go
You jump ship
I jump ship
I ******* LOVE you all

I attend the funeral of hope,
weekly
Watch the birth of despair
daily
I think God has gone deaf,
atleast to
my cries
People look at possessions as
success
They aren't
They're stones tied to souls
making sure we all drown with the
Jones'
we all so long to keep up with
Oh yes,
those Jones' are falling to the
Depths of "stuff"
far faster than we Smiths
Good Lord
All day, Everyday,
I see and hear the "upper class"
whine
About the stupidest things
Its appocalypse if the Jones' buy
a BMW
while the neighbor only owns a Cadilac
Utter DEATH
I see these things and hear these silly conversations daily
"Oh did you see how fat Pam's *** looked in that Vera dress at yesterday's luncheon?"
"Yes! All that money spent on lypo! Haha!"
Disgusting ****
like sulfuric acid poured into my ears
And the road on the way to this Country Club and Gated Community called
Deerfield
Is lined with falling down trailers and houses without glass in the Windows
Clothes hung on ancient strings because the wearers can't afford a dryer
Or the electicity to run one
Children filthy and barefoot playing with
hand-me-down toys
in hay field yards
Still cleaner and more pure
than the
Filthy Rich

As I sit atop this Appalachian mountain
Watching the sun rise
Seeing lights reflection dance on the lake
Nature's bounty dazzles my eyes
The cardinal nests in a tree beside
He too, waits for the morning star
Being so close to the sky above
Making heaven seem not so far
Winters frost makes everything shine
As it has covered the frozen ground
Like an Angel has come straight from above
And thrown glitter all around
The moon says her daily goodbye
Slowly starts to fade away
And behold, the sun peeking over the horizon
Ready to light the day

They don't see me
But you look so closely

And they don't hear me
While you, listen well

Its loud here
One can never tell

But you do
In your silence

Pity, pity
Me

How I need you here
I'm wingless

Fairy gone cold
Malecifant

And I care not
My wings don't sparkle

They are No more
Chopped

A loved one
Passed

And I walk
Amongst those with wings

I can't touch you
By time and space
I can't kiss you
Or feel the whiskers on your face
I can't make love with you
That part, aches
But for your heart
I'd do whatever it takes
Fate is so cruel
Because of that, I cry
But I'm going to keep you
In the folds of my eternity,
the blue of my sky