I dwell in imaginary
Its pleasant there
I have wings
Though I still, am not loved

I'm tink
And I love he who loves Wendy
Thus, a small one
Unseen

I live in dreams
Deal in nightmares
That's my business
Off the hopscotch grid

My trees speak
Flowers play music,
I have many moons
and the sea is red here
Never blue

The "Lost Boys" play music
eat too much and sing
I fly perfect circles around their heads
They laugh at my leaf dresses

I have friends here
In my fake "Never Land"
And I don't have to pay them
or be something I'm not

I'm just "tink"
and they all like me that way
Even Captain Hook smiles for me
In this Land

My Never Land

If it makes you feel any better,
I'm not happy
My life is lonely
I can't help how I look

The number of friends I have
You can count on three fingers
One of which is my house keeper
Paid friend

I've loved, but never known the feeling of being loved
I can't grace the world with another child
My legs no longer permit me the beauty of dance
I'm a former coke addict, current drunk

I cry too much and whine the world full
I deny myself the joy of colour in my wears

I'm a *****
No, I've not had any "plastic surgery"
I am that I am
Another anonymous mammal

I intake too much caffeine
Lately too much nicotine
I cuss and have fits
Tantrums,
As I am right now

Yea,
Just another anonymous mammal

AARP keeps sending me ****
Letting me know I'm getting old
Buy this insurance
"Die Happy With Us"
****
"Don't leave your loved ones in debt when you die"
****
"No one gives enough a **** to pay for your funeral"
Sonofabitch
"A place for Mom"
What the ****?

Come get me!
Thou great Valkyries
Demons of hell
Angels of Heaven!

But you **** well better know,
AARP
Has got my *** covered!

I woke late this morning from too much "fun" last night
Yes, I was back down "L" street perched on my bench
I tried to wear colours, but they didn't show through the dark
And I put a clasp in my hair
I thought I looked a little less than dead
The cherry trees in the make-shift "park" are starting to blossom
I feel bad for them because they're stuck planted there
Perhaps this is why they weep
I thought of sharing my paper bag whiskey gift
But no
So I shared my tears instead

Not reality
A passing thought
Fancied notion

Me,
Melancholy  muse

I'll sing for you
Dance for you
Play my strings for you

But you can never know me,

I am courtesan of the night
Lady of secrets
My soul is but a piece less than yours

Unwhole,
Ebony,
With scarlet bleeding through its cracks

You may touch my skin
Kiss my liquored lips
Unbind my hair,

But you will Never KNOW me

I exist only in the reflection of a tear drop
Soon to evaporate

Don't make friends
          with
The dead

          We see far more than we should
The thirst for life,
Is
          quite overwhelming,
With us
           We are hungry
No sleep for we
Never any solace
          We are,
That we are
Dead things

                  Ever living


Ever thirsting....

                  For you

You see, I know what's real and not
To some degree
I know you're lovely,
crazy beautiful,
Honey in the sun

I have eyes
Ears
I know I'm weird
Hell,
I argue with my daughter over which toys are hers and mine
To play with

Ive tasted "store honey"
And "wild honey"

You
Are
Wild Honey

I wish to drip You
On my dry tongue

Steal you,
from the bees

Keep your golden self
In my glass jar

But,

You,
Are
Wild honey

Yes, they don't invite me to dinner
They look at me strangely
Like I'm in the zoo
And they've paid to see
I smile
Fake,
Hope it was worth the money
I don't want your
overweight hubby,
Honey,
I'm the goodbye girl
Touch me,


Then leave

I am a moonlight merchant,
of myself
My flesh knows of no taboo
Entertainer of thoughts
A stage of satin sheets in darkened rooms, engaged with a red lipped, half grin
Keeping my secrets held aloft,
my dreams,
float with the tobacco smoke of my patrons
Where lies your smile?
He asks, as he loosens my bound curls so he can pull them in the art
I reply with another red, half grin
Thinking my smile was lost in the silken river of never
He removes his tye with nimble fingers, intending it as my chain
His eyes are ravenous wolves, making of me a lamb
I turn my face, and think of innocence drowned in twilight

I'm going to dare the fates and speak openly

Julius Caesar, was a pompas *****, who consumed and never gave
A pudgy little waif of an excuse for a man
Cleopatra, wasn't a visual beauty,
She had wit, and the gift of gab
I was her hand maiden
I would know
Technology?!
We are so primitive in this age, Ha!
Nero,
History painted a vague, and awful picture of a great man of men
Indeed,
My Nero, did dance at the fall of Rome
Because we all would dance, at the loss of ignorance
He was beautiful, I loved him
And of DaVinci?
His mind was offset
He was GREAT
His was a traveling soul and mind
Leonardo, looked God himself in the face
And grinned
He was GREAT, as was his son
His son, painted a book
It resides in the Vatican Library
Check if you will
With your "Google"
Your generations wonder of mysteries,
You haven't a clue
Time isn't linear
It Is always
And I grow tired
Hoover, a Hunter
He knew of us
And we hid
Shielding ourselves in shadows
And lies
We are here
We watch
Wait....

I need a bleach bath in some boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize

Im ***** from the inside out
Tainted
Painted
Alienated

Whiskey won't drown it out
If I'm supposed to whisper,
Hell, I'll shout

I've got problems, honey
I'm the goodbye girl
Not a taboo saved from my actions
I deal in nightmares
Whole, not fractions

Acid, can't touch my rust

I need a bleach bath in boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize

So high above me
I'm so low
I stopped time for him once
He doesn't even know

He lives in the mountains, now
His music, in the trees
Plucked softly by his fingers
Carried on the breeze

His hair, the sun
Eyes, the sky
He probly thinks I'm a freak
That, I can't deny

I long for him,
Like the sea longs for sand
I want to be his "tiny dancer"
Spin in his hand

And I, row, row, row, my boat
Gently down His stream
Crying, crying, crying, Because
This is but a dream

I love her
Not in a ****** way, but
She's my friend, my friend
She helps me so much
For 7 years Ive known her
Laughed and cried with her
She hugs me and my daughter
Makes sure my house is in order
She has capabilities that I do not
I fear for her
She isn't supposed to be here
With her brown skin and Spanish tongue
She works hard
And I love her
And I'm so afraid for her
I don't understand fences
Or "papers of belonging", citizenship
I was born privileged
Free and white
In America
Because my ancestor came here 340 years ago
And begat generation after generation of my blood
I wonder if he had to have papers?
Her journey here nearly killed her
Sent by her mother, with a bottle of water and an aluminum foil wrapped sheep sandwich
Across the dessert
For just the idea of a better life
She was 16 Then
I love her
And by the GOD that loves every colour and nation,
I'll marry her before I let her be dragged into one of those big vans they put "illegals" in

I'm that burn
Killing your smile
Turn you to ash
And I'll do it with style
Women like me,
Not a dime a dozen
Bend down for me, baby
Put your head in the oven
Crazy? Me?
You got that right
I'll light it up,
Burn it all through the night
Just when you think
The fires gone out
I'll wear your blood on my lips
With a grin, no pout
I'm that burn
Like vintage whiskey
Get closer baby,
C'Mon, kiss me~A

I see you look at her
She doesn't have holes where her irises should be
Like me
She smiles I suppose
Where I can only half grin
I bet she's still sober at noon
And wears lipsticks in shades other than liquor
She probly has a wardrobe with more colours than just shades of black
Nothing like me
Her skin has never known the fires of hell, as mine is scarred from the flames
She seems like one of those "sunshine dwellers"
Where too much sun, hurts my eyes
And I prefer the shadows
Yea, I bet
She's

Charmed,
I'm sure....

He said I'm his muse
God knows he's mine
I drown in his words
His music, consumes my time
He said,"Cmere"
My only wish
For him, to be near
To feel his kiss
I think he's, well, all
Golden hair, music,
And ahhh, I fall
If I land on concrete,
Then, So be it
The fall,
Well, Was scenic....

You gave me candy on the school bus
Gobstoppers, as I recall
I shoved it in my mouth and smiled
We were children
I gave you a kiss in return
In high school, we were inseparable
Till I went to the academy
Then you were there everyday afterward
We were too young
You were my best friend,
You loved me, once
Then you hit me
I was too free for you, I suppose
I didn't love you like that but,
I wanted to keep you
For your smile and candy
Maybe you thought you could beat love into me
I don't know
You hurt anyone who I called friend or family
Shedding blood
Theirs, and mine
Still, I honored our time
I had vowed to
So you needed me again,
As you lay in that hospital bed
I went to you, as the child I once was
Brought you and your blood drenched hands back home with me
You wanted more than I could give, my childhood friend, husband
You weren't content with just a companion, best friend
So you took my freedom, my sunlight

We vowed till death
And that's what you gave me

I'll be Pinky
If you'll be The Brain
I'll be the yin,
If you'll be The Yang
You can be my Tylenol,
If I can be your pain
We can open up Pandoras Box,
Refusing to explain

You can be my sunshine,
If I can be your rain
You can be my therapist,
God knows, I'm insane
You can be my Moon,
If I can be your star
Together, we could be Mr. Petty,
In a **** fast car

You could be my ocean,
If I could be your sand
You could be the right,
And I'll be the left hand
You could be the silence,
I could be the scream
And you, could be my ice,
If I can be your cream~A

I live,
In the lucidity of dreams
Undreamt

Eternally naked,
In front of a crowd
Yet, dwelling
In a trench coat style
I'll bare you my soul,
Yet hide my face
I prefer my words, on the wind
Felt,
Never heard
A fading voice
In the chamber of
Never Unlocked
In the realm of things touched
I remain untouched
Unkown
Reality holds no fascination for my eyes
I went blind when the hopscotch grid got washed away by the rain

I live
In the lucidity,
Of dreams
Undreamt

So the other day I put on my big, black hat and hobbled down town
(Yep, hobbled as I fell stupidly playing in the yard pretending as though I was a kid and tore a ligament)
I donned my black chucks and I was hot **** again for a while
I threw on that big fur coat my grams left me And a few of her gaudy jewels
Anyhow, I went down to "L" street and sat on that bench again
The one in that make shift "park" where they lined up a bunch of big rocks and called it good
I sat and looked at that giant lady painted on the side of that falling down brick building for more than a bit
"L" street, The bad part of town where you can get anything
Not named L street because it's L shaped, but because of a pill that apparently makes you Tripp
I guess you can or could get them there, the L pills I mean
So I sat there thinking and being mad
Staring at that giant, painted, brown woman
She advertises tobacco from 80 years ago and she's almost gone
Flaking and peeling,
Pieces of her lost to the wind, and to time itself
She smiles
And she's beautiful
And I hate her
But since I was 15, She draws me to her
That Tobacco Lady, with her smile, and red dress and feathered hair
She always smiles
When it rains, she smiles
When it snows, she smiles
Hell, when half the ******* town burned
That ***** smiled
I cry, she smiles....

That Tobacco Lady

I decay
The smell of my own rotting flesh,
Fills the stale air
Lips, that once graced softened skin are gone
Baring jagged teeth and exposed jaw bone
Ears, that so loved any melody,
Have long since turned to blackened jerky
I lay in this satin lined box,
Decaying,
My fingers, Are no more than fragments
of once workable things
Worms and maggots long ago,
devoured what little piece of heart you left me with
It's dark in here
And still
I don't rest

I recall our high place
Where we worshipped on summer nights
Sitting on the pond bank
Watching the sky's reflection on the still waters
Every star perfectly mirrored
We skipped stones along the lucid summer sky
Paying our tithes with moist kisses
Eternity whispered in our ears with breezes
Prayers scattered along the waters edge in white flower petals
We two children, closer to whatever God resided then in our hearts,
Than we would ever be again
Our laughter echoed like church bells rang on Sundays for worship call
The moon, our reverend, calling our hearts
To The Great Alter of All That Is
Time was still and stollen
We lived then,
I go there sometimes still and think of you
Since you were plucked so carelessly as the most beautiful of lotus lillies
~A

We watch, report
Write it out
Then contort
Watchers, poets, writers, scribes
Feel too much
Wrenching, inside
Its our job, not to sleep at night
To think too much
About life's plight
One watcher, will be drawn to another
All akin,
Sisters, brothers, lovers
It's what we are
In ancient times
They called us,
"The Scribes"
Old souls,
We everyone bare
It's a hard business
Not at all fair
But it's our job, chosen or not
To see, to feel,
To "watch" every plot
Our thoughts, can drown us
Or perhaps, heal
But with every action
More is revealed
For we are the "watchers"
With purpose, we live
And with our words written, spoken
'Tis life, we all give

She guessed she was, just one of his "girls"
He thought he'd Delight her, with a few of his twirls
But he didn't notice, while the others wore pink
She was dressed in black, having a drink
Nothing like them, insane, her middle name
She didn't just dance circles, she played the game
She'll burn your house down, while you sleep
So pray the Lord, your soul to keep
And should you die, before you wake
Anything worth a ****, she will take
She'll lock it up deep, in her trophy chest
Placing your things, with all the rest
And She won't do it, in an arena
She's a 'burn your house down', ballerina
Dancing in ashes
That's her fashion
Her Pointe slippers, tainted black
Not rhythm but Empathy, she lacks
Never involve yourself, in a crazy dance
Or Being burned alive, is a definite chance
It's just her nature, who she is
She'll drink your coke, but she won't **** with fizz

Feast at my death
Lament thee not, at my passing
For I am but a vapor
A winter's breath,
Upon the lips of love

It was called "The Right Of Spring"
I was scared, excited, elated
Taking my place on the stage above the footlights,
I shook, like an earthquake of the soul
I'd danced this piece several times before, but never in front of such a number of eyes
The other dancers seemed fine
We'd practiced for 8 months for this particular show
We were to perform twice daily, for 3 days
Hard, excruciating work
But such is the dance
I began to sweat profusely, I felt the blood draining from my face
And right at the second turn,
I hit the floor with a thud.
Becoming human

Do you recall, that song?
The one we danced to nightly,
With our bare feet in the dew covered grass?
How the cicadas sang for us and crickets played the music
The frogs would sing base
Sometimes the rain would provide the beat
Fireflies were our spotlights
Stars, our spectators
The breezes played the leaves to add subtle background
To that decadent song the nights played
For us
Our song
Cicada Song

He was in a cafe across the tracks,
Leaning against an ancient, crumbling brick wall
The sun hung low through the window showing off a gold halo in his hair
On his lap he held his six string,
Gently strumming a soft tune
She watched, from just inside the brick archway
The guitar mans lips were red as a bleeding rose
He gave her a glance, sideways, showing her a colour of blue she'd never seen before
Her breathing stopped
Moving forward, entranced, toward the strumming siren
She couldn't help herself
Her deft movements, won her a second glance, and half a smile
Yet, still he played on
And it became clear then, he already held his only love
He was, after all,
A guitar man

All we "writers" "poets"
Walk with a limp
Have a thorn in our side
We're a collective gimp
And in our words, hide
Yet, bare all
Our souls, hearts, scars
Our memories, call
Observationists, we are
Feeling too much,
Feeding on ours, and others, scars
We, are watchers of, life
The good, the bad,
love and strife
We watch the happy, The sad,
All heaven and hell, knows
We're all "mad"
And it shows
Is this bad?
No
It's what we are
We all walk with a limp

I saw a Stone Lady looking my way
With her eternal grey eyes
She held a stone water jug
She was staring intensly at me,
So I asked,
Stone Lady, what hidest thou in thine  unblinking stare?
To my utter amazement,
She replied,
Eternity,
You temporary thing.

Mr. Bukowski,
Well, does that house next door still,
make you sad?
With the two kids and all, in bed by 9
And the absent mom and dad
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
How fair the ice cream people?
Do they vote still,
For a cruel man?
You didn't vote,
Nor do most of we
The insane
But,
Do you carry a vote now?
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
How the hell is Cass?
She's kept me awake
Many nights,
Is she still beautiful?
I bet so
And Mr. Bukowski,
What of the girlfriends,
You didn't wish to see?
Do you see them?
I need to know
And Mr. Bukowski,
I miss you.

They met, amongst the green of summer
He liked her slight stature, gold hair that matched his own
Brown skin, changing eyes
Vows, and time
Made them forbidden to each other
But still, they watched
She carried drinks, smiled
Waited,
He was there upon an evening, alone
By the water, where the honeysuckle grows
She didn't speak, just kissed his lips
His hands, trembling, touched her face
Laying herself up for him, he took her,
By the water
Their bodies swaying in rhythm with the waves, her hair, undone
Falling around teacup *******,
Sweeter than the scent of the honeysuckle they laid amongst,
was their sin

It's far into the a.m. and I don't sleep
Cant seem to get you out,
Of my head
You're there
Still
The undead, rotten thing you are
I'm going to have to **** you,
Again
As I've murdered your memory hundreds of times
It stinks of death
As did your decaying heart
I've drown you in whiskey,
So many times
If I ever did love you,
You killed it, with that first bruise
When we were 16
All the makeup and lies
For shame
For ignorance
There are still blood stains here
They seep through the paint
My blood
My never ending, waking nightmare
I'm dead you know
You killed me
Maybe not my body,
But my soul
I feel nothing,
Save shame, rage
I'm going to have to **** you,
This fear of you
Your haunting memory,

Somehow.......

And I'm already dead
The dead never sleep.

And there in, so much spoken
In a world ruled by the broken
Aloud, and silently, we scream
I prefer not reality, but the dream
Here, in this world, apart
The norm, is to bury ones heart
The echoes, of the burdened, so loud
And I, I would stay in the clouds
My heart honestly, is non-existant
And reality, I keep, at a distance
Time, bares no weight with me
All of it consumed, by a forgetful sea
Memoirs, of a time long since past
I remember, Forever, never lasts....

What does one do
When
We bleed to know we're alive?
Weeds have taken over there
In the garden of Eden
Licking chalk, from the side walk
To feel something other
Than the insanity of emptiness
Or the emptiness of insanity
Drink to numb
Write to feel
Tell me
Tell me
I hear nothing
And nothing....

I can't touch you
By time and space
I can't kiss you
Or feel the whiskers on your face
I can't make love with you
That part, aches
But for your heart
I'd do whatever it takes
Fate is so cruel
Because of that, I cry
But I'm going to keep you
In the folds of my eternity,
the blue of my sky

When we were young,
Before broken by age
We danced our grand pas de deux,
Upon life's stage
Our plie's were graceful
Many grand pas, we danced
And I, never knowing,
A solo I chanced
I thought I'd always,
Be your danseus
I'd hoped for no other ballerina,
You'd have a use
You did glissade
Into my heart
But I see I've danced solo,
From the start
Pas de waltz en tournant, alone
My dance now
Since your grand jete, from my side
This ballerina, will take her bow
And for the final time,
The curtain closes
But for this ballerina,
There are
No roses

Standing outside the broken window of life
Breathing In the poison, feeding on the strife
Crooked perspectives, singular views
Pain or numbness, which ever we choose
Dance, or play the music, either way the same beat
Watching the world die, bitter tasting treat
We watch, like spiders, weaving our web
Spin it out with words, views of life's flow and ebb
Feeding like ticks, off the emotions of others
Be it their actions, or smiles of fake lovers
Empathic designs, binding together
All we, watchers, into forever
This broken window, through which we all stare
Gives prysmic views, though never a glare

I wish I was his cigarette,
Have him breathe me in so deeply
Wrap his lovely lips around me
Set fire to me, And
Burn
Slowly for him
To be the thing he holds
In his artful hand
Oh, what a lucky thing
That cigarette

Beauty,
It can never be seen
But felt
It can never reside on a face
Beauty,
Its in a smile given
The stillness of the lake
After a storm
Leaves coloured, and falling
A summer rain
Beautiful,
Is words spoken in love
A feeling of kinship
Its the smile on a sleeping babies face
It can be found in laughter,
Sometimes tears
Beautiful,
So elusive, yet everywhere
Skin, will fade, wrinkle, and sag
It will age and turn to dust
But real
Beauty,
Never fades
As real Love,
Never dies