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Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
Tugging my shirt away from my chest
Hunching my shoulders
Breathing shallowy
Tugging on my hair
Pulling the sleeves of my shirt
Hiding my face
This is how it feels to be trans for me. Hating my body, my mind, other people. And people hating me. Thats what it's like for me at school. Its terrifying
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
A soft breeze
A dying wheeze

A kitten call
A williow tree tall

The sadness in goodbye
An old mans sigh

A face of sorrow
Then burried tommorw

Memmories like waves
Finally a brain that caves
I miss them everyday of my life and I will never forget them
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
Holding a pencil
"Stab her"

Holding a bottle
"Hit your head"

Using headphones
"Choke youreself"

These intrusive thoughts run around my head
These intrusive thoughts make me crazy
These. INTRUSIVRE THOUGHTS
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
You
You hit me
you hung me
you cut me
you broke me
but i'd never leave you
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
These words I write are the tomb for the name I was once called
These words I write are the grave in which I bury her
These words I write are where ma'am, and her will lay to rest
These words I write are where I **** her once and for all
THIS IS WHERE MAGGIE LAYS TO NEVER BE WOKEN
This is where I **** that part of me that hunts me daily
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
He
Long hair
Long brown hair
Long soft brow hair

Blue eyes
Blue soft eyes
Blue sad eyes

Pretty dress
Pink pretty dress
Flowery pink pretty dress

A chest
A chest so full
A chest so beautifl

Scissors
Scissors on pretty long har
chop, Chop, CHOP

Blue eyes
Teary blue eyes
Relived blue eyes

A hoodie
A hoodie and black jeans
Black ripped jeans and a band T

A chest
A chest in pain
Chest wrapped flat to body

she, She, SHE
Thats what they see
They will never see their son
I wish I was a boy with short fluffy hair and a flat chest and a deep voice
Kole J McNeil Dec 2021
I am..
Ripped jeans and hoodies
Beinies and army boots
I am...
Ciggaret smoke and burned holes
Midnight kisses and bloodshot eyes
Dark circles and a bruised jaw
I am...
Flinching at movements and jumping at your name
Black outs in school and broken ribs
I am...
Empty bottles and bleeding wrists
I am...
Kisses under the hidden tress
Love in the shadows and fleeting eyes
I am...
Sneaking out at midnight and falling through my mind.
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