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It's been a long journey to find myself..
Dark thoughts and self harm along the way..
Demons scratch at the fragile walls of sanity..
When will I find peace?
When will I be happy?
This dysphoric feeling of confusion..
Who am I?
What am I?
Where do I belong?
Am I her or am I him?
It was so confusing at first..
But now I see.. I am him.. will this make me happy? Darkness threatens me. The demons continue to claw, making me more fragile..
It's hard to pretend to feel..
To feel anything other than pain and emptiness..
But the journey must continue..
For I want to be happy.
Man May 24
Weaponize your loneliness,
As your rose takes on thorns
Till it hurts in that hand
Crushing the stem in your own
The water, calm or rowdy, comes in, slowly.
Swarming tides soon become too much,
Drowning me-
And I remain motionless,
As I fear nothing or, am paralyzed by fear,
No, the real movement comes when I am lost.
As I try to find my way time and time again.
Begging for the waters to return,
For true motion to return,
And for my tears to freely flow into the water once more.
Just because I can fight back, does not mean I know the way. Succumbing to emotions requires balance. Just struggle to remain afloat while discovering the tides of the universe.
My name is Jack.
I am a hero, some may say it is useless calling myself that, but it is true.
I have slayed monsters, and demons
Fallen in love a couple of times,
learned to spot the dangerous ones.

Although onwards I continue my journey,
To conquer unknown lands,
Discover Love- the one and only,
An imponderable Love,
That I know,
She doesn’t.

Yet, I will still go on,
For my name is Jack,
Slayer of monsters and demons,
Seeker of love.
A fusion of life's journey and fantasy. With Alcohol (Jack) leading the way on exploring my depression and desire for love.
Jade May 21
“It’s you and me, Kid.”

{internal monologue}
Man May 14
Dreams that torment -
Between my chest
Is still her lance,
Driven squarely through my heart.
That circumstances were unfortunate,
I should wish for death absent my love.
Angharad May 12
I don’t realise I’ve been holding my breath until those rare still moments
When all I hear are birds and I’m drowning in a light that makes everything pink, like a red sock dying the washing
And I let out a big exhale when I see the moon in the sky as the sun is setting
It’s all     so      beautiful
It squeezes the air out of me
And I want to just exist here in this sacred hour
Where the loneliness feels not so tight and everything feels lighter and it’s ok that it’s just me
Fey Apr 30
In the heart of the city, where magenta veins pulsate,
A symphony of lights, where shadows dissipate.
Alleys whisper secrets, in electric glow they bathe,
Where loneliness is currency, in another world depraved.

Billboard signs flicker like fireflies in the night,
A digital dance, a city's heartbeat in flight.
In the labyrinth of circuits, where dreams collide,
Loneliness echoes, in the depths where souls want to hide.

Fast-paced technology, a relentless stream,
In the dimly-lit alleys, lost souls scream.
Connections fleeting, in a cybernetic maze,
Anxiety is thriving, in the digital craze.

In the city smog's haze, where futures are sold,
Humanity fades, in a world growing cold.
Echoes of the past, in the television's static hum,
Heartbroken minds persist, in the city's artificial thrum.

Yet amidst the chaos, a flicker of hope,
In the sprawling streets, where outcasts elope.
For in the depths of darkness, a spark ignites,
A rebellion against loneliness, in the rain-drenched nights.

So let the puddle glow, let it guide the way,
Through fiberglass and darkness, we'll find our day.
In the embrace of technology, we'll carve our fate,
And in the retina-burning neon lights, we'll find a new state.

© fey (27/04/24)
Inspiration: The Neuromancer Trilogy by William Gibson
Jason Adriel Apr 29
I often wonder
whether in those books you read
you ever read my name
between the lines

like an unexpected gift
or unfortunate rift
like a rifle aimed at you
or flowers handed to you

do you ever feel like I am there?
staring back at your weary eyes
do you ever stop and think back?
the love we never got to share...

a poisonous thought, come evening
I wonder and wonder and wander
to you, the birthmark on your wrist
the poems you write, the meaning you twist

between the lines
did you ever wonder?

quietude of love
everlastingly beautiful
rambunctious excitement
effervescent life
never, yet, the twain shall meet

between the lines
did you ever wonder about me?
those thoughts of the people you love (and they reciprocated) but never came to be. oh, what a tragedy.
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