I love you
I'd happily say I do
But lately I'm not so sure
You work
Come home
Sleep

While I've made 3 meals
Ran after kids
Sorted birthdays
Spent all my money
To make you smile

You come in pig crap
Dinner in 5 I call
You waste half
I feel defeated
All alone
Raising 2 kids with needs

Barley surviving
Scared ill break
But I can't
The kids need someone

Weekend comes
You moan the kids want to play
See you
Do something
You say I'm tired
I've done 50 hours this week

How do I fix something
Thats breaking
Very
Very
Slowly

Why just why
At 2 years old
Does the world fight you
Bring you down
Hurt you and betrays you

But still you smile
With every jab
You cry then jump
Right back up

You never let it hold you back
You know when it's not right
You know when your high
You come for help

No matter what
Whether is hitting or silence
I know
I got you forever
I will protect you
And teach you

You call I come running
You cry I check
You scream I check
This is normal now
This is life


You are a warrior
You are sting

You hurt my son
You think it's okay
That the ony way you can hurt me
But I ill protect him with my life
No matter what

He'll see the light
He'll see the truth
You won't have him forever
He remembers the past
He'll never forget
Screaming
Leave my mum alone
Stop hurting her

He may be blinded now
But soon the truth will come out
And you'll be all alone
Where you belong
No one to hold on to
When your drowning
In your self pity

I wish I had eyes in back of my head
I watch everything
I'm scared to leave
Scared to walk the street

What if a car hits me
What if someone don't like me
What if I leave house
What will happen

Did I leave the washing on
Did I leave the light on
Did i pay the bills
Did I get  what I need

Will I have a breakdown
Will I turn to drink
Will I freak out
Will I survive the day

Can I cope today
Can I do my jobs today
Can I keep my family happy
Can I have a wash today
Do I have time to relax

Someday are harder
Someday it's calm
Someday I cry
Someday I can't move

Anxiety and mental health are real
They can't just be cured

Would you smile
Would you speak
Would you look

Would you think twice if she wasn't there
Would you smile
Would you show me love
Would you have lifted your hand
Would you have thrown me

Would you love me
Would you care
Would you take a second thought
Would you want me

If she was gone
Would you come back
Could I forgive
The abuse
The hurt
The bruises
The memories

I watch you
Fight the hurt
Fight the heartache
Fight the depression

Yet you stayed
While she pushed us away
Now your a stranger
You won't even look
Won't even smile

I just want my dad
The man
I looked upto
The dad
I loved
Adored
Treasured

The memories
They won't fade even if I try
The gigs
The laughs

Should i forget
Will you ever come back
Or should I feel
Deserted
Alone

I want to cry
I want to scream
Yet I have to hide
How I truly feel

Hearing the words
Your kids need you
Your kids need you happy
You can't cry
You can't give in

What if its too much
What if I can't breathe
Can't think
Can't survive feeling like this

What if

11 years ago
We met
Butterflies flew
Sun shined
As our lips connected

I wasn't fully ready
I sed goodbye

Back to now
You came back
Like nothing changed
You became the dad
My son always needed
Watching you both laugh
Bonding
Melted my heart

2 years later
You got down on
One knee and
Sed the question
I sed yes

As the butterflies flew
Sun shined
As our lips connected again

Year later
We see 2 lines
The panic sets in
But the smile grew too
We made a life

Up and downs
Came and went
But no one reached
For the door

Butterflies flew
Sun shined
As our lips connected