the desire to create is only sated by late nights writing
finding keys on the other side of locked doors
a way found around
*** & discrepancies
laying naked on the bedroom floor
falling apart up until the point you're put together

inspiration comes late
after the starting indicated on the invitation
after the guests have come and gone
lengthening faces taking the wine and smiles with them
after you fall to the ground to stare at the undersides of things
and take a shower to wash the thoughts off your skin
inspiration comes
stumbling in
like a drunk lover long forgotten
their features still still unsure
blurred even in person

you both know that you knew what to say a moment before but silence swallows the knowing and you're left open under the sky crying and making each moment as it is upon you

the sun still rises
over every darkness

be not startled when it looks other than you remember it to be

an internalization of pattern,
a process possessed
and mirrored.

A frequency,
the same sound as is found in
a dying fire
and leaf-fall
over a patronized footpath,

a hum,
and a crackling.

A seemingly random happening
guided by a template of ritual elimination.
Narrowing down the stream of all things
to fit inside
a mind.

This is who I am.

A recurring dream
and the feeling of waking from it
to find yourself
where you were
always.

.covered.

Only so many masks
to fit a face.
In so much paint,
only so much color,


and in all the ways you can put it to a page,

this is who I am

In my meticulous counting of
escape routes
am I undoubtedly bound.

It's ridiculous this shouting
and fake mouth
can spout such powerful sounds.

If we are made round
by this playground ride,
if we remain found
(pressure applied on every side)
I might drown or die
or more likely hide away,
fly, explore, and stay,
get gone
get lost
and pray
till dawn and day
when frost and spray
on the lawn displayed make waves in grey,
break the dew-sparks and make way for
sunrise hues
(no dark, light blues)
for you
to run right through.
All bright, brand new.
Right on cue, as if you knew.

You know,
I've heard that birds go
over the rainbow,

I can too.

You know?
You knew.
It's not just one shot you got,
not one flow to go with,

you can choose.

We're no longer circular,
shining like a herkimer,
opening my heart
and finding what it's worth to her.

Undefined by size,
by shape, by time.
I am more than mind,
motion and lines.
I am the ocean and brine,
the fruit and the rind.
I leave nothing behind.

I see but I have no eyes,
I grasp but my hands are tied,
and still I try
because that's the name of the game,
whether it's love
or money
or fame,
we're not above change,
we're not beside staying the same.