long awkward stones
embraced by warmth and red
crowned by two imploding sapphires
often walks into the scenes of my dreams
through the seams splitting
pried from my mind by the fingers
of my idle time

I call it she
and it knows
what evolution has done to me
how those green hands of change
lend her the ability to be seen
in my dreams
and that sapphire-eyed ghost
that i call she when i'm not around her
is becoming
more and more
its own entity

i want to pull all my hair
away from myself
i want to be
alone
i want to stop
lying
and she's still trying
to go to sleep
and i'm still trying
to wake up

Eye brows lids and lashes
shadow swift synapse crashes
fierce fires flicker in eyes
while the coy of their disguise
made all the others daft
and the dark inside them laughed

The bright blue of their sashes
beckons burning bulb flashes
they still wear when alone
the rough edges of stone
but the coy of their disguise
and fires flickering in eyes
made all the others daft
and the dark inside them laughed

finally the rain is here
something that i still hold dear
something to clean out the drain

i find it quite ironic
that the rain falling symphonic
provides a silence in my brain

that distant lightning screaming
and the clouds tears still streaming
makes stars wax and the clouds wane

grip slipping like a drip from the roof
so aloof to the truth
the feel of skin
the need to puke
that trick licking the ***** held in hands
***** with sand
that night of lighting bright smiles on faces
isn't it grand
the races
and the places you haven't been

that fluke you saw
that wall so tall
i built on stilts
spilled from inside my mind
to the outer confines
you were there
you noticed
i dyed my hair
i wrote this
maybe you'd see
i don't just live for me
i know i can't
candy-coat this
but i wish you could have seen
the way you smiled in that dream
when you saw my imperfections,
all lined up like a collection
of books or toy soldiers,
you looked and your eyes smoldered
then you kissed me
and you said you missed me

it seems
that my dreams
have a sense of humor

but i digress
i confess
i'm a mess
not my best
i need rest

i want to write myself down
put myself into the paper under my eyes
to be a grain amongst so many
i'll write away my tears
and draw my breaths deep
i'll shade my eyes and spell out my mouth
i won't rest
until i'm 2D

11:11
i made a wish.
did you?
did you remember not tell?
that's what they say
"don't let that wish slip,"
but the truth is,
you can't cook wishes
into reality
by keeping them quite

whisper over your shoulder
whisper through the wires
whisper til your eyes leak
that's what your chest requires

I still make a wish
whenever four ones present themselves
on a wrist watch or a clock
and i still cook them in quite
only lifting the lid
for a moment or four
to sneak a spy of silence

11:27
33 minutes until
October!
my favorite season
when i was younger
because of my birthday
nesting in the familiar warm auburn glow.
now burning.
it's the start of a circle
a circle beginning in death
and taking a breath
before descending again
i will stay awake until October!
until i can feel that glow
until i know
that someone heard my wish
the one i whispered
as you walked away
the one i whispered
as i tried to convince myself that
this flame in front of me
is as fantastic to see
as your eyes

whisper over your shoulder
whisper through the wires
whisper til your eyes leak
that's what your chest requires

look at me
rambling on again.
waiting on an October wish

when i sat next to you
your smell gently fingered my nose
with nauseating familiarity

You were wearing the same shirt
that you were wearing
the last time we shared words
and a sitting space

You didn't notice me at first
you were in your textbook
navigating numbers beyond my comprehension
you were in your music box
the one i paid for
only because i lost the other one in the first place

I admired you as you wrote down
what was correct
I was smiling
with a nauseating familiarity

You saw me
and the smile flew away
as did the past i wish i was in

we talked for a while
and that was it
and we went home
and we went to sleep

we were i
and we were you
but we're not anymore