They come at night
giving me a fright
watching my every move
but
they comfort me and all my troubles
they come in close and give me cuddles
they say that I should come to them
saying
'you'll be free at last'
from this horrid cage that causes pain
many call it
home...

arms around my ankles
dragging me further down
you never show me mercy
only watch me drown
and now I have been trying
to climb and crawl back out
but you keep filling my mind
with horrible thoughts and doubt

I remember when you first came over,
you gave me this warming smile
You told me I was beautiful
and that you'd be here a while

You took me to this room
and lay me on the bed
You wrapped your arms around me
and slowly kissed my head

You placed your bony fingers
around my frail body
you told me to keep silent
or you'd make me sorry

so I cried inside my head
and tried to struggle free
but you had locked the door
with your old bronze key

I was only a young girl
waiting for her prince
but now I only dread you
ever since
you used me as a toy
for your own pleasure and joy
and left me crying there without a thought or care

and I hope that your glad to hear
that soon I'll just be gone
because everything you did to me was
very
very
wrong

People in my family, that don't know me real well
Tend to tell me I had a good childhood
And it's all because they don't know

They see the facts like
She went to Disney Land,
And California
And Mexico
Not to mention,
How her grandparents spoiled her

But I remember very little of my time like that
don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful
To my aunt and grandparents
It's just that I don't remember most of it

What I do remember of my childhood is
Getting my hair brushed by mom
And anytime I moved or said ow
she'd hit me with the brush

Or when I didn't hear her,
Before we knew I was half deaf,
she'd get so mad
And she'd punish me for ignoring her

That time I was helping her clean the yard
And the next thing I knew
she had me down on the ground
kicking me, for somthing
I don't even remember what for

I remember my 5th birthday,
Evryone brought me presents
And as I opened them,
she took them from me
And put them in the corner
Because I didn't deserve them

I remember walking in on your husband
Choking you
Your face was blue
And I turned around and walked back out
I had just turned four
And it wasn't even a cause for concern

I remember her parties
Late at night,
They were so loud I couldn't sleep
And I wasn't allowed to leave my room for anything
I'd be in there for hours,
No food or drink
I was afraid to come out and see
After that first time
And I saw you in that outfit
On that pole and
Those plates of white powder
The straws and needles
And all the smoke
And the bowl of colorful pills
I didn't know what it was for
But it scared me
And I never came out again

And I remember babysitting
I was only eight
I could barely talk
And couldn't really hear
But I took care of myself
And my sister and brother

I remember that boyfriend you had
When I was eleven
I remember his wandering hands
And how warm and sticky they were
And how much he liked to "help" me
When you were gone
And the razor blades that made me forget
And the new scars to cover the ones made by his chains

And I remember each and every bruise you've left
And all the mean words you've said
I remember all of it,
And you know what?
I wish I remembered Disney Land

How do I tell you I failed again
Ill never recover or make amends
Sadness overcomes me  
To think of something ill never be
My mind sails
As my heart fails
Whover thought  
That happiness could be bought
Im in a battle
But all you do is tattle
Youre just not seeing
So Im fleeing

Stuck in a mist
Lost in a haze
A end of life
No more days

A path not shown
A darkness creeps
A creature prowls
crouching it leaps

Slashing, tearing
You heart it yearns
A beat you miss
A pain that burns

Nothing ahead
your life you lack
No way to retrieve
Its not coming back

The end is here
The lid nailed on
Six feet under
Too late your gone