I want to go to sleep, to give my body a nice, long rest
But shutting down and tuning out the world, I was never the best
I want to let my mind stop caring and just be unrestricted
A luxury I thought I had, an emotion I hadn't predicted
With the events going on and the lives that were lost
The dreadful what-ifs are taking over my mind, but at what cost
Thoughts and prayers are pouring out of me, at an uncontrollable rate
The horror not setting in that this was those families's fate
What more do we have to endure, to what extent has the world gone mad
That innocent lives were taken by this irrepressible cad
But out of most darkness, sometimes comes a brilliant light
That can be hard to recognize in the chaos of such spite

As I watch the people scurry around me
Like ants in a maze
Living the lives they believe are their own,
I wonder if they can even fathom
All the lies and secrets that surround them?

Our world has turned into a place
That feeds on lies
And treats honesty like a crime,
A crime deserving of immense punishment.

Lies end in reward.
Honesty in scorn.
I loathe the liars,
For they are cowards.

While honesty may hurt now,
A lie will grow and spread like a wildfire,
Like a disease,
Lethal to all those who come in contact with it.

I am not immune to this disease.
On the contrary,
I am a carrier of it.

I’ve always been told
My honesty and abruptness get me into trouble,
But I would rather be openly criticized
To my face for my honesty
Then have people feed and thrive on my lies.

They say “revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Lucky for me, my emotions can never just go into hiding.
They are always front and center
Just waiting to be poked and prodded,
A fire ready to ignite and consume.

I am forgotten,
As my footprints
melt
in the snow.

Last night I had a dream about a poem..
I woke up and forgot it...
But it was only meant to inspire me to write about it...
You know deep thoughts and dreams....
The ones we never share....
The world would be a better place if ya'll think like I do...
But it seems like ya'll don't even care....
Ya'll just want to complain about how this life isn't fair...
While all I want to do is write all my thoughts on a page and share...
Hoping I make you see what I see...
If life has a set path...
I'm just trying to figure out my destiny...
Trying to turn my pains into pleasure...
My tears into treasure...
So I dreamed about a poem...
I think that poem was about Peace...
Serenity...
& Tranquility...
But that dream was out of reach....
It's seems it was right up there with Luther's...
When they killed him the marchers became looters...
Which tells me it's dangerous to dream...
But if I didn't dream....
I'd be stuck in this world...
Where not God but the devil is king...

Tears stream down my face
Life is for living
But that is not what I do
I am merely existing
Miserable and alone
Lacking love, happiness, hope
Sometimes it all seems so pointless
Why even bother getting up in the mornings?
When I know everyday is just the same
Sadness and misery and hatred
rationally I know the world can be beautiful
But I can not bring myself to believe
That my world can get any better
Than this harsh, desolate wasteland

Orchestrating music
Inside my ears
Italian cuisine
Inside my mouth
Panics, paranoia
Inside my head
The American dream
Filled with fireworks
And potholes
Covered by band aids
In God we trust
Police
Sitting and smoking
At the saloon
Being available
For nothing
Losing goodwill
Every second
Every moment
Laying around
As fat house cats
What flawless
Behavior
We all rent
A fake life
And pretend
We aren't
Crashing
Their cars
Into a concrete lady

You are cruel and unforgiving
You haunt everyone and bring nothing
My cool calm collected-ness fades as you
Stand before me taunting me with your ever seeming grace
I become ugly and spiteful filled with envy and questions,
My words are now dark driven with hate,
For a person I do not know,
Now knows my fate
My cheeks burn and knees shake
Thank you jealousy for closing the gate