Holding on,
Slip, fall ,
Starting all over again
Quick reset
Improper display
Life empty
Coffee exhaustion
Slip inside my mattress
Warm relief
Sweet escape
Hold on,
slip, fall
Black shadows return

Spinning Gliding
Hair dancing
The wind glides her feet
She feels the music
Hears it to her very core
Freedom
At last
I dance by myself

Hot wax eating into your skin
Pain pleasure as we run through the mystical grass
Lips moist I run my finger across slowly
Legs hot
Thoughts of *******
Thoughts of sweet caress
I want more
I want more
Ropes unbound
Your freedom is felt
The candle dances as the wax slowly drips
You  glide savagely
I am yours as you are mine
As we melt umder the all knowing bliss under the watchful eye of the full moon

Diagnosed and frightened ,
Yea im a recovering addict I sdmit it
One year plus if you care to count days I dont
What matters is mindfully being here in this moment
I grasp it it
I have mental health issues as well I accept it
But my latest diagnosis Trigeminal Neurolgia just too much
Not going to give up or surrender just another pile of shot added,to me
I will survive I will continue being sober
I am whing about this I get it
This isn't even a,poem so what
It's me and it's real and I just need,to get it out
What is truly real is this moment
Please ne mindful of this moment becUse it is all we truly ever have and all moments add up to a day a week a year a,life
Relish it live it be,present with it
Whether it be pain happiness or love or hate
My pain from my new diagnoses is hurtful new Meds help but sometimes through all of this I just want to know the base root cause of it all
That's it and enjoy the moment accept the pain the happiness the fear don't resist accept and move on otherwise it may consume you

To follow the fluorescent pink light
The deepest of blues
Golden love wraps around my hypothalamus
I travel outside the aches of my insides
A whisp of magic
A float of my soul
My guide delivers me
Immaculate imagination
Message for this journey
NOW
NO MORE FEAR

A month ago
Fluid inspirational being,
Med switch mental darkness again clamps in
agitation, adrenaline pumps through veins
Med switch, soul switch
In the blink of an eye a plea for help
A switch in he alchemists bad
The almighty psychiatrist wrong
Yet again with the med dart board throwing
Foiled yet again as stability held me up strong
In one month
In one month
I seemed to have lost my soul
Yet again
The dull shovel
Of mine after many a deep dig out of this
Empty shell of acute depression
Begins its arduous work of bring me light
Manic depression as Jimi Hendrix  guitar strung it
Soulfully on the head
Is indeed a frustrating mess

Intricate bodies,
One misfire in the complexity,
Devastating change, never physically the same
Atlas one must go back to the saying
Seize the moment
The black shadows can engulf you rapidly

I misplace myself from time to time
Looking inside through the windows
my shadow appears but I’m not present
As slowly as the door closes,
my shadow begins its own misguided journey again.
I become inside out
In a blink of my eye
I misplace myself as my shadow in my mind begins its familiar never ending spin once again
Inside and outside
I misplace myself from time to time

Say it ain't so
Underneath and balled up under the cold steel table.
Eyes closed heart wide open
Wisemimd is vanished
My eyes dim
Say it ain't so
All my underlying and overseeing foundations vanished
Say it ain't so
I can and do
The warm glow of my true self never leaves
Centered and here I crawl out from underneath the steel table
Grinning and exhausted
Make the right choices for yourself

Worn around her neck
Jewelry
A novel prize
Women endorse
Wearing perfectly, a statement of perception
always feel the love underneath
Jewelry
Just worn
What does it mean?

Bipolar, unipolar
Mixed bag of tricks
Wintertime darkness
The clowns have gone to bed
Draw my shades down
Shut my eyes
Tripped and tangled
Jump rope seems so fast

A smile cracked,
The sunshine simmered a grin on me
Long long days it’s been,
Med switch
What am I bipolar unipolar
A unicycle a motorcycle
Sam I am how bout  
I am a mere human with many shifts in
Energy
I think I want to just go to a hospital
And rid all these meds out of my body
And start anew before springtime hits
Peace all
Let’s rock and write

Deep down when repressed tears come about
My life really has bee drizzled by
Mental illness and alcohol and chronic pain
Sometimes it’s jjst pure sadness
The song tears of a clown co es into my realm
I truly hope amd knkwmthst I cant go back in time
For my lost family by my own rope
Can’t but time
A simple pure smile will do
Or is it just all we need to just let it all go
Anxiety fear self doubt and just
Live the way we know what are own path should truly be
And just plain live and move
I have no answers
Just hope know that I type this
As I usually prefer pen to paper
But this will have to do
Free flowing thoughts of mine are just flooding out

Live let go amd smiles will come
It just occurred to me
as it shall be true for everyone

Black holes swell on logic,
but collect on fantasy.
Intercept the middle of the the fat lady,
the belt still squeezes.
Life still kicks,
Black holes squeeze on logic,
but always collect on fantasy.
Imagination wins evertime

To the point
A sharp pen free form to the paper
No thinking pure soul
Need not elaborate
Simple freedom
Direct interpretation

Empty treasures,
Two,paths unveiling each other at the same time,
Doors and curtains smoke and mirrors
What am I really seeing
What am I missing
This key doesn't unlock this door
And this door doesn't lock this key
My journey in life
Opening and locking the same door
With the same keyhole at the same time
By the way dude I love your sister
And the keyhole to her lock is in my pocket
The door swings side and open and shut at the same time
While the keyhole never needs to be locked
Cheers buddy

Lost Myself
My true blue friend disappeared
Time Ticks
A moment lost
Lost Myself
Glass shatters
Mountains split
Heavy tar trickles downward
Stuck  in my soul
Lost myself
Time Ticks
Lost myself
My true blue friend, my bother passed away today, in the blink of my eye
Maybe the underlying meaning of a deep loss
is to find yourself.

Enamored by time,
Must rush
Look at clock ,drop kids off
exhausted cars, must find alternate route to work
Five minutes and counting
Presentation in 20 minutes
Lunch 30 minutes
Off work
Must rush
Look at clock
Student teacher meeting 15 minutes until start
The madness will never stop
I smashed my clocks
hugged my kids
Time for a change

Daugnter — lost in drugs, is she alive no contact
Son — a gentle giant
Myself lost in a magnificent forest of my minds creation
I Lost my footing in a blink of an eye.
Opened eyes my forest was barren and naked
My path  I lost my footing on
melted away.
Me— lost indeed frozen in fear

Mud, sticky residue
Tendons grab tight
Sore bones
Liquid tar inside
Lost my oil
Inflammation past emotional electricity
Stuck, physically emotionally
Mind oil
Pain

Divorce,
Mommy gets it all,
Dads stuck.
Mommy gets it all,
Regardless of the new movement,
Women to be treated equal to men in the workforce
Dads stuck
Mommy gets it all
Court system skewed
Dads lose job
Dads wheels just spinning in the mud
Mommy gets it all
Women have the baby
Men watch the children the majority of time
Mommy gets it all
Women have the baby
Mommy gets it all

Mother Earth
Weary
Dismantled
Umbilical cord severed
Mother Earth
Weary
Dismantled
We cut our lifeforce
One last breath
The dust rains down

Stuck in mud
Eating my spleen
How to run
Freedom
My mind
Stuck in mud
My reality
Mud

It happened
Can’t go back
Dark alleys seem oh so nice
A quick shot of sweet liquid pain relief
A night of sure fire relief is all I seek
A guarantee death of my soul will follow
It happened
Can’t go back
Dark alleys seem oh so nice
My demons are right up on me
I have not welcomed them this close in oh such along time
Teetering on the edge of  any moons of sobriety

Embossed
On the return
Lipstick washed
Step through the door
Where you been
Outside
Yea outside
Inside it's cold
Outside feels better
Time to find another place

Fear
Afraid of what others think
Afraid you can’t do something right
Afraid of stepping out of your safety box
Afraid of living your life right now
Fear is what we perceive might happen in the future
GO FOR IT what’s the worst that can happen
It’s the only way to be in life with little regrets
You can’t take the clock back
Seize the day.
Regardless of outcome
This is no verse but a guide into your own verse that is created by living life with uplifting words to follow

Just sitting looking at a pine tree
no thoughts, judgements about it good or bad
Just mindfully looking at it all of it’s graceful beauty
No thoughts just impeccable focus.
We all judge, it is simply in our nature.
Guy in a black hoodie ,sweatpants are worn,
Business man in his fully equipped business attire
Thoughts , judgements,
STOP

Understood,
Physical, Mental illness soul piercing Malicious pain
Consistent worry for my welfare Buzzes my ruminating mind
Pathetic worry about my welfare
The respect I deserve
Strong as wounded soldier I stand upright and proud
Your worry of my well being
An ill disrespect of what I have been through
Survivor and one strong human being of value
Plagued by illness physical, mental I always make it through it

Don't down play my strength, it won't do
No Pity

Just want to say Hi to my fellow writers
As for some of you
Writing is not just for writing, it is a necessity. For we feel deeply, as it might be a curse and gift in the same breath it is what it is.
It is appreciated to know others if this connects with you
to acknowledge those writings that I read and connect  to know that I am not alone.
In this eminence front  everyone may put on. It is  critical for me at least to purge to purge my true reality. If it is misguided ramblings to others or improper format it does not matter All your verse is yours and that can never be taken away
I’m just me and your just you after all.
So thank you .
Just a mass message and not the purpose of this site
But then again I’m just me so I wrote it.

My bodies numb,
Tingling, burning , electric zaps
Chronic pain.
Caged emotions not properly tamed
Engulfing my body,
Bandaids can’t soothe
Medicine can only cover up the wounds momentarily
Emotional discord
Physical pain
Numb

Chronic head disorder.
One hour to enter the severe pain
into one’s head just because it doesn’t show up on imaging
One hour for them to fully feel and taste the pain
I continue to seek a thrown stone relief of free movement.
One hour I do not seek to have them suffer
Just to understand, when I say I try.
One hour of complete freedom, pain redemption
It’s not in my head.
Acceptance, too many specialists with no results.
One Hour is all I ask.
As one hour of severe pain is a lifetime when it does not stop
for hours, days.. it’s not cancer a pinpointed result.
One hour I would give just to have a true diagnosis
and palpable manageable relief.
One hour I have to keep living
One Hour shake my hand and just honor my words
when I say I just need help

Cleanliness, Godliness
Godliness, Cleanliness
Sweep the broom away
Beyond the smiles
Beyond the frowns
Take the ride of immaculate conception
Being right here, present with true delight.
Sweep the broom away
Cleanliness next to Godliness,
or is it such that Godliness is truly next to Cleanliness.

On top of the world
A day old biscuit , A fat sliced piece of bacon
On top of the world
Smiling as I walk down the black and blue alley
On top of the world
Not a penny in my pocket
On top of the world
A smile
I am free

Peace,
Angered by the little things that spin about through my head
Peace
plump lips caress my skin
abrupt seduction flies in the moonlight
peace and anger live together
accept both

Sunshine
Smile
Sassy
Succulent
Serene
****
Simple
Out of the darkness of winter
Simply divine

Lost in space,is it day or night
Insipid meds driving me into a moon filled submission
I saw the owl today during daylight
He comes to me menacing but guiding still not done with my spiritual quest
Now not about love misery process misery of unbridled destiny
Now about meltimg walks undescribable realizations about me
No one else is alloed at this festival of mental instability .
I need help
I am ill do what
I accept and that's it
The end
Will the owl ever present me with my true answers to positive health
And my now lost funny contented grin

Relapsed into a whirlwind dustbowl of
Misguided past emotional pain trapped.
Physical pain ensues
Sticky sludge collects in the back of my skull
Pounding, physically off kilter
Will I ever be the same
No and that is just perfect
For the mental hence physical pain can not be covered
up by medication for the real source of it all
Will shout even more powerful.
It’s pure acceptance and in your deepest sense
Change in your current t life is the only way out the the
painful entrapment

I like to unleash
a smile on occasion
Feels good
Sunrise, sweet nectar,
I like to unleash
a smile on occasion
Feels a good
I’m smiling at you
As I write
Hope it generates a smile
and as dominoes fall
The world can just for a short lived moment
Unleash its own smile

Waddle smile together
Caring for each other group bond
Americans isolated money selfish
All of us come together
We are all penguins
We have been chained since far beyond are memories the
belief that we must live in self contained divided classes
Now is the time for all of us
to waddle and smile together to be penguins and care for each other as one
It will undoubtedly  come about in my vision that the slowly but surely the crumbling of the the deep rooted belief of our divided classes will soon be one group waddling into the ocean of true palpable feeling for all. Just a vision of mine but one vision can turn into many
Love you all.

House
Warmth
Bed
Food
Look out the window
Homeless people
Be thankful for what  you have
PERIOD

I lost my wife in Vegas,
Pink dress with white shoes
My socks are *****
I’ve walked for miles
Gazing in window shops
I see my reflection in the window
I must return to Vegas
My wife in a pink dress
My gambling addiction

Pink tethered eyes
Sunshine floating above cotton candy clouds
How often do we truly see our imagination
Crystal clear forests of mirrors
Warm blue light peeking through the shamans cave
One toe touching the other
A magic beam lost
As I await in line at Starbucks
Rush
Stop it and see your imagination
Renew your tethered pink eyes.

Pitter Patter
and a thump in the night
Alone I crumble
Alone I fight with the mirror
Pitter Patter
I desire your silk
I desire your comfort
I pour your evil but charming ways
I am sick again

Soul
My soul has been cheerfut since the magic pill
A month later I visited the renound  psychiatrist
He drearily informed me what I had been taking
Was indeed a sugar pill
I walked out completely outraged
My soul returned
Back to the black hole
I am dreadfully disappointed there is no pill to relieve
Me except for that magic sugar pill

Oh springtime lover,
To dance the immaculate funk
White Sunny dress, toes bare.
In the white crystal colored sand,
to dance the immaculate funk
To be free as the unfiltered child,
molding their imagination with colored squishy playdoh

As I sit,
I look upon the slow draw of the river
My soul is free for just a moment
As I recall past memories
of the place where I shall be put to rest
A teardrop runs slowly down my cheek
As the river continues to flow
Such as life
A moment to cherish

When the earth was one
many moons ago
Open lands
Unspoiled ground
Fresh flowing streams
Survival in the circle of life a necessity
Earth spinner slower
Thoughts were as one
Mother Earth pure
Carnival clowns and shamans
Magical music
Instincts pure
Life was short and pure

My granny is dying,
Wow plasmatic  skies ignite,
Anger into revolt as my tears melt into hers
What a grand woman
Poor imdeed, heart of gold
Determined eyes of steel purpose unleashed as a brothel of bubbly love
Where and who are,you
Step off  the dirt my Granny will soon be in the small plot is only a memory for all who loved
Step off my grann's plot for I will punish thee with a fury not witnessed by you and that im sure
Step of mother ******* my tears are for me and my granny

Return to sender,
Smile it's not yours anymore,
Blackened past
Disruptive pause in life,
Return to sender
I will return ,
I will pick myself up once again
Disruptive pause in life,
I am the sender and I am the receiver
Let myself turn the button back to play
For the pause has been stuck for way to long
Pause play pause play,
Return to sender
Play pause play pause and play once again
Thank you life thank you me

Sparkling hot love,
Fresh water,
Warm bones,
Weary travels
Broken down
A hot bath,
My little rubber ducky
Floats,
My soul smiles