Purple
Pink
Turquoise
Blue
Light green
Black
White
And the glorious yellow
The Sun
Penetrating throughout your nerves
I think I will wear yellow socks today
Floating into bliss,
Yellow is the way

Brick after brick keep coming on my shoulders
Nailed to my bed
Beyond tears of sadness
Just empty
Alone
Stagnant
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps
I would but I can’t find the boot straps
The lights are turned off
My only comfort is shutting me eyes
I sleep one eye open as I see my boots vanish
Please do not say pull yourself up from your bootstraps
You’ve not walked in my shoes
Severe depression

Mother Earth
Weary
Dismantled
Umbilical cord severed
Mother Earth
Weary
Dismantled
We cut our lifeforce
One last breath
The dust rains down

Swirling magic
One moment
Red ruby
Pink ribbons
Deep purples pulsating
Colors dance
Healing begins
I can feel
Gold Sand
Smooth
Crystal clear
Smiles in my toes
As I stand firm
In this moment
Colors heal
Golden Sand
Embraces my
Weary bones
Time for your Meds
Mr Jenkins
Mr Jenkins
Time to wake up
Pain management awaits
Golden Sands

Done with your ever ending false words with no actions
Done with you giving me hope
Done over my never ending attempts to make deep heart felt amends
from the pain I caused you.
Done beating myself deep into the soil over the past
Done being toxic to myself
Done not forgiving myself

I can't flee,
I can't hide
I am here world
This day, this choice, this moment.
The freedom of a pure warm centered thought,
and the cold steel bars that I ponder through.

Memory recalls hurt pain purging out
The source
Hidden in the closet
The Source
People know you know they know
We have to hide it to survive
Memory recall
It is of the upmost importance for us
Secrets deep layers of quicksand
Recalls getting close to being free
Dint hide your mind and body are ready for the
SOURCE

Eye to eye with a great horned owl today
Spiritual guidance or death
The myth the legend and the razors edge we walk upon
What is it
What am I missing
Guide me please
Sometimes I truly just need it

A single breathe,
A hot bath
And a bowl of chicken noodle soup
What else,
Oh
A ******* full of soul

I see you
Not in your fancy red dress
Manners in tact for the elite
I see you as I look into your white eyes
Playing the part
You would give your life for one true smile
One genuine smile
Beyond the belle of the ball
Fake glimmers imagination for all
One genuine smile
I go back in time with my kin,
***** jeans
The mountains lovely marks
The wolves white eyes
A genuine smile as a walk the trail as I tried to keep up
My family laughing
My genuine white eyes smile
I return as I play the part
I see you
Your white eyes as I serve you immaculate food in your fancy red dress

Holding on,
Slip, fall ,
Starting all over again
Quick reset
Improper display
Life empty
Coffee exhaustion
Slip inside my mattress
Warm relief
Sweet escape
Hold on,
slip, fall
Black shadows return

Sad,
One single word
Encompassing far too many
emotions for me to put down
in a single pure sentence

Spine sticky
Residue of past emotions
Linger trapped,
Bone sore,
Skull crushing pain
Black sticky scraps
My food never truly cleaned
From the plate of my life
Sticky plate

Bipolar, unipolar
Mixed bag of tricks
Wintertime darkness
The clowns have gone to bed
Draw my shades down
Shut my eyes
Tripped and tangled
Jump rope seems so fast

Encapsulated by a drop of thirst
Falling for an outside view
Pummeled by an awe inspiring imagination
Thorough enough
Bold enough
Simple enough
Encapsulated by a drop of thirst
I sit and thus enters the maddening rush of the stars
withtheir own tale attached
I walk and the the light shimmers its known comforting smile
Let it Be
Bold enough
Simple enough
Thorough enough

Im here but things are dead
Used to be life now quiet desperation is not words spoken
I feel it in the gasping air
Why
Everything used to be alive
an animated sunset with everyone clambering about
Now
quiet desperation as my soul looks upon
Me as I look upon you
Everything is quiet
Quiet desperation that surrounds this
As this used to be my house but now a tear drop
Down my cheek and it washes away any memory of freedom
My memories of this my house now standing still in the shadows
Why
My house
Why is this my house now
My life now
Quiet and silent
Why
how I miss my old house

Hot wax eating into your skin
Pain pleasure as we run through the mystical grass
Lips moist I run my finger across slowly
Legs hot
Thoughts of *******
Thoughts of sweet caress
I want more
I want more
Ropes unbound
Your freedom is felt
The candle dances as the wax slowly drips
You  glide savagely
I am yours as you are mine
As we melt umder the all knowing bliss under the watchful eye of the full moon

Done with me
Done with you
Pretzels crunch
Barefoot freedom
I wait for the sun again
I wait for the moon again
Shallow waves in an empty pool
Where did you go
I miss you
Where did I go

To follow the fluorescent pink light
The deepest of blues
Golden love wraps around my hypothalamus
I travel outside the aches of my insides
A whisp of magic
A float of my soul
My guide delivers me
Immaculate imagination
Message for this journey
NOW
NO MORE FEAR

Wizards, Shamans
Doctors, Lawyers
Fog filled magic in the city of lights
People listening to themselves for themselves
I spin around , my eyes blurry, am I at work
Is this living
Frogs and squirrels , choking through the toxic sludge
The necessary elimination of an overrun population
Souls already sick, a mass elimination is needed
From animals , nature, incurable mutated virus evolves.
It must be as history throughout time follows true it’s timeframe
Overpopulation  must be cleansed
As the world becomes anew again , hope for Mother Earth,
Shamans and Wizards.

Sunshine
Smile
Sassy
Succulent
Serene
****
Simple
Out of the darkness of winter
Simply divine

Words are yours
Words are us
Forevermore our creation
Our unique blends
Your words
My words
Ours
Bottled words
found in time
Washed up onto the sand
Tiny hands open
Who’s words are these wrapped up tight
She respectfully seals the words back to the bottle
and let’s them go

Sit tight ,unwind the mind trap settles it's own scores.
Darkened shadows mixed with unfiltered light .
We begin the journey, we begin the fight with
balanced approaches from medicine filled souls.
Hold on tight for the new day has shown its manic face and
The cold steel rain is waiting to engulf itself upon thee.
The battle is but a battle and a smile is but a smile,
I for one choose the unfiltered viewpoint as I sit  on top of the
mountains edge.
Smiling, I remain unattached  knowing I will be victorious either way for this moment in time.

fresh drops spring flowered dress
Rolling ankles
Below sun drenched light what a marvel
What a spin of love
Mystical wizardry floats upon the magic field
I love her
Maybe

Green grass, pristinely cut low.
Moonlight dance
White laced summer dress flowing
barefoot freedom, wiggle your toes
Breathe through the green grass
from the souls of your feet to your frantic mind
Feel the calm
Feel your sunfeet
Perfect as intended

Pink tethered eyes
Sunshine floating above cotton candy clouds
How often do we truly see our imagination
Crystal clear forests of mirrors
Warm blue light peeking through the shamans cave
One toe touching the other
A magic beam lost
As I await in line at Starbucks
Rush
Stop it and see your imagination
Renew your tethered pink eyes.

It happened
Can’t go back
Dark alleys seem oh so nice
A quick shot of sweet liquid pain relief
A night of sure fire relief is all I seek
A guarantee death of my soul will follow
It happened
Can’t go back
Dark alleys seem oh so nice
My demons are right up on me
I have not welcomed them this close in oh such along time
Teetering on the edge of  any moons of sobriety

A hand to hold
Smiles on the shadows
Hold on
Tides change so quickly
Smiles on the shadows
A hand to hold
Comfort

House
Warmth
Bed
Food
Look out the window
Homeless people
Be thankful for what  you have
PERIOD

Meds, cabinet heavy
Reflections in the ever changing mirror
I don't know
Answers are done
I've let go
I've smiled I've cried in the same breath
One lasting impression before I go
I'm a human being of value
Caring for each and every one of you

As I sit,
I look upon the slow draw of the river
My soul is free for just a moment
As I recall past memories
of the place where I shall be put to rest
A teardrop runs slowly down my cheek
As the river continues to flow
Such as life
A moment to cherish

Lost Myself
My true blue friend disappeared
Time Ticks
A moment lost
Lost Myself
Glass shatters
Mountains split
Heavy tar trickles downward
Stuck  in my soul
Lost myself
Time Ticks
Lost myself
My true blue friend, my bother passed away today, in the blink of my eye
Maybe the underlying meaning of a deep loss
is to find yourself.

Seemingly quiet
Inspirational rhetoric as the crowds come and fade away.
Lost souls, empty lighters and the clowns continue to their own bipolar destiny
All encompassing life too much
Simple short breaths treat me as mystical magic
Keeping jagged thoughts at bay from the desperate circling act
Pure delight
A good day indeed
A good moment absolute

To the point
A sharp pen free form to the paper
No thinking pure soul
Need not elaborate
Simple freedom
Direct interpretation

Just want to say Hi to my fellow writers
As for some of you
Writing is not just for writing, it is a necessity. For we feel deeply, as it might be a curse and gift in the same breath it is what it is.
It is appreciated to know others if this connects with you
to acknowledge those writings that I read and connect  to know that I am not alone.
In this eminence front  everyone may put on. It is  critical for me at least to purge to purge my true reality. If it is misguided ramblings to others or improper format it does not matter All your verse is yours and that can never be taken away
I’m just me and your just you after all.
So thank you .
Just a mass message and not the purpose of this site
But then again I’m just me so I wrote it.

I stumbled onto my demons yesterday
I told them to *******
I am now living my life freely
My secrets are yours
My fear
Gone
******* demons
I have no more time
I want to leave this institution
No more meds or labels
I am uniquely me
As you are,uniquely you
Hi demons
*******
Hi world it's me

Sometimes I forget to tie one shoelace
Never tripped up
Forget it’s even untied
Out of sight out of mind
Walking freely
I broke my ankle the other day
The one with the shoe tied
I now leave both shoelaces untied
Untangled
Out of sight out of mind
No filters,
Smiles abound
Shoelaces blowing in the wind
Freedom

Relapsed into a whirlwind dustbowl of
Misguided past emotional pain trapped.
Physical pain ensues
Sticky sludge collects in the back of my skull
Pounding, physically off kilter
Will I ever be the same
No and that is just perfect
For the mental hence physical pain can not be covered
up by medication for the real source of it all
Will shout even more powerful.
It’s pure acceptance and in your deepest sense
Change in your current t life is the only way out the the
painful entrapment

Who what why when where and how.
I find myself between them all
Shackled skies torment me
I lift the stacks of who what where why and how
I find in the end it pays no worthy chap to bother
For to lift the shackled skies bestowed upon you
A wise man in the seedy alley told me to step outside of the box
So be it, I finally found myself again

Can't help it ,
Can I , confusion saddles my mind,
Lovers ,soul friends , family can only do so much
Stuck in sloppy mud,
Tires spinning,
Over and over,
Can't help it,
Can I?
Thoughts spinning in the mud .
Tired tires,
Please come to me love,
It's been quite a journey

Inside my brain
My lower skull
Base of blood barrier
There dwells black toxic putty
Nerves frazzled
Isolation with my bed buddy
I return to the revolving door
of western medicine
I believe a shaman,
A medicine man
Is the only way to **** out
the toxic putty

Luscious unfiltered water,
Sunshine snow, perfect in the moment
Magic from the sky
How do we all miss the moment
Frantic mind scatter,
Where do I have to be
What time
Can I make it
Who goes where
Insanity of the scattered schedules,
The hurried pace,
We can never see the sunshine snow,
Unless we all take a moment
and breathe

Mind shattered,
Spirit crushed,
Body crawling
I have been cursed
The hole dug deep
Echoes I fear
Alone
Afraid
Cursed

Oh springtime lover,
To dance the immaculate funk
White Sunny dress, toes bare.
In the white crystal colored sand,
to dance the immaculate funk
To be free as the unfiltered child,
molding their imagination with colored squishy playdoh

I beat myself into the ground again today
I don’t know why
My mind tightens and the shovel flows quickly
My dirt turns to mud quickly.
I beat myself into the ground again today
and I do know why.
I’m me and have to accept the scratches in my mind
I wash the mud off and a new day begins.

Alone, pacing
Wandering mimd spinning the same tracks on a continuous groove
Stuck in the middle of nowhere land
I've visited here many times before in my trails
Medications meditations misguided and maladjusted
Been up down and over and out
Bipolar a rude disorder
White knuckling despair
Craving breath and the laughter of others
alone ,
Thoughts
Darkness with the sun shining on my skin
Wrinkles forming as the bumps of life
Stick firmly to my face
Alone pacing
I'm stuck

When the earth was one
many moons ago
Open lands
Unspoiled ground
Fresh flowing streams
Survival in the circle of life a necessity
Earth spinner slower
Thoughts were as one
Mother Earth pure
Carnival clowns and shamans
Magical music
Instincts pure
Life was short and pure

Into the chasm of my old dark friend
It comes again as I have been expecting
Hard to describe a deep depression in some sort of exact verbiage
So many times it has entered my realm without a knock at the door
Into the chasm of my old dark friend
My roller coaster thrills are vanished ,
As the bipolar swing ride has come to a screeching hault
I fall once again into the chasm of my old dark friend

Moment accept,
Listen
Breathe
Mindful wonders
Cartwheels on the grass

Eyes droopy
Can’t will them open
Sleep
Alone
Afraid
Lonely
Black oil
Sticky emotions
Upheaval of emotions
What works
Time
Black oil
Sticky residue
Pain on all fronts