Gather 'round, gather around.
The music plays as we stare at the magician. All cloaked in red, in honor of their traditions.

Styled by the mortician, we're all gathered around because of her magic tricks.

She can make herself disappear.

So step right up...step right up. Take a look and take a seat. The crowd whispers and whimpers and we're broken by the sound of her mother's weep.

And at exactly one o'clock she'll make herself ashes...by kicking the chair from underneath her feet.

Voilà
...Houdini.

The valet I pleasure today
Oblivious to the frigid weather,
His warm fingertips
Ran through my bare back,
My body rippled with pleasure
Holding his gaze
I felt his manhood
Against my sensitized skin
His touch was sensuous
His voice was seductive,
Demanding
Like the rest of him
Lifting up my hips wider
To make way for him
He let out a moan
As he buried himself deep,
His length filling me
Plunging,
Thrusting in me,
Deeper, harder and deeper
Stretching me,
More delicious than I fantasized
Lost in the colorful sounds
Of smell of pure bonk,
Bang and more bonk
He moves in long,
Sure strokes.
Deep.
Controlled
He conjures in acidic marsh
I groan as my body vibrates
When he sleeks and slides..

I lost the most important
Pieces of my life
In a one year span

Mom's sickness was eating
Her alive
I could see it draining
The life out of her
She lost the sparkle in her eyes
Her skin attached itself
To her bones
And she couldn't hold on
Any longer
Her death was like a shock
That spun me around
And I lost it
When I lost her

Father, I barely knew
I didn't cry on 10.10.09
I couldn't
I watched as his coffin
Silently buried itself underneath
I watched as they threw dirt
On what was left of him
That auto wreck took him away
It took him away
He left so many flowers
That I somehow resent
Cause he grew them
He grew them, not me

I was left with a woman
Who swore under oath
And to my mother's dying eyes
That she would protect me
Lord, if this is what they call
Protection
Then what has the world come to?

Try waking up in a house
Knowing you are not wanted
So many of my nights
Are spent crying because she
Tears me apart
I am not perfect
But I was Mom's little angel
It would **** her
To say 'you did well'
It would **** her
To ask about my wellbeing

Sometimes when the pressure
Raises it's ugly head
She'd tell me

"I am not your mother
You know where your mother
And father are buried
You'll go and live there!!!"

She reminds me that
I am not and will never be
Good enough for her each time
She gets a chance to
What did I do to her?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why did Mom leave me?

Suicidal thoughts
Are forever present
I've tried it several times
One would save me all times
Once,
I dumped bottles of her
Sleeping pills down my throat
All I could hear was the
Sound of my own faint voice
Chanting

"Wake up you idiot,
Wake up before you sleep
Forever!"

Once,
I slit my wrists to
Drain the blood off my veins
My brother found me
Lying unconscious on the
Bedroom corner and aided me

Once,
I wore black and sat at the road
At midnight
A woman stopped and told me
I had so much to live for
That the future had gifts

Existing, but not living
Breathing air that does nothing
But inflate my lungs
Will anything ever take
The pain away?
This is not life

This has been going on
For 5 years now
Her words are like bullets
That pierce through
My rib cage and rock me
To my core
Inflicting her insanity on me
One would think
She's highly sadistic

I try to hold on,
Really I do
But my faith is in shambles
I struggle to believe
That I have a purpose
And all I'm holding onto
Are tatters of memories
Of what once was

With eyes closed
As if blindness was a blessing
As ears prepare
To listen to the melody
Of a heart in tune

Feel the heartbeat in my mind
It beats according
To your thoughts
You are tucked in between
The spaces of my pumping arteries
You are etched in my blood
Every molecule I am made
Out of is made out of you

You opened my percadium
Slid through the walls
Of my heart,
And leaped forth without
Hesitation
Making a home out of
What was once rejected

Open your eyes love,
Let this melody will flow
Through your veins
Let it manifest the love it
Withholds
Feel each and every
Word project unto you
What I feel inside

These words I have
Summoned to at best
Give an idea of the
Depth of my emotions,
And I do realise they have failed
At their purpose – for that I apologise

I told you my story
Because you looked like
You could deal with it
I told you about my demons
You said they were
Barbies compared to yours
I was enveloped in your life
For months that seemed
Like forever
But now your hands
Are clutched on to hers
Like lovers at the parking lot,
Just as something in me knew
You would find your way
Back to her heart
Still, you're the song I keep singing
The poem I keep writing
And I don't know why
She's a sight to see, so are
I shouldn't have kissed you
I shouldn't have believed you
When u told me she was your past.
The no love lost in your eyes
That I saw was only
A strong illusion
Because  your fingers are
Now coiled with hers,
And you lock your gaze upon her Magnificent beauty as if she was a Kaleidoscope of rich,
Mesmerizing luminary
Never once taking notice of
The dark, tall skinny girl
Standing across you;
Solidifying my insignificance.
You're sheltered in one heart
And I'm left to wonder
If I ever meant
Anything to you
The brutal reality
Leaving me with shreds
Of illusions of love
To you
We never happened

Who are you and why do you have this effect on me?
You walked in the room and I can hardly breath
Do you make me nervous on purpose, or is it just me?
Are you doing this on purpose?
I'm falling so quickly

I don't wanna rush it and call it too soon
But if you were the sun, then I'd be the moon
Your eyes illuminate the streets with the only light I can see
I'm just a deer in your headlights when you look at me

Take me anywhere you want to go
I'd follow you into the dark in places I don't know
Wherever you are is where I want to be
You're everything I want, and all that I can see

If you have a hint of doubt about the things that I have said
Just believe me when I say, you do laps inside my head
If you leave it up to me,
I'd tell you to stick around
You be the tree,
I'll be the roots in the ground
I'll help you grow and try to give you everything you need
Darling, it'd make me happy if you grew old with me