I have to thank you
I could have kept my eyes closed
Let forever go by and never see
How you lied
When I thought I was holding you high
You were just pushing me low
I thought I would hate to see you go
But no when you go so does my doubt
With you goes my fear
My anger
Why did you become this
Why couldnt you stay her
The girl I loved
You change and used me
I hid your abuse
so I could love the old you
You showed me shes gone
I wish I was wrong

Grey muddled and muddy
The way we live day to day
Losing sight of what is right
Just men commit sins
Evil doers save lives
Who can claim to be black or white
In these long grey days

I drink to clarity
to that point when you can see what your doing wrong
to know each drop is the slowest of poison
I lie and say its for the flavor
carefully seeking each malt note

but its for the clarity its to finally feel my pain
to know my shame
I drink to see it all then run
I keep drinking to block it
to start the cycle again

Death is described as a loss of a relationship
I think this makes it to final
Its not the end its a change
You still have thier "nose"
Meet on that day every year
because of them

People still look at you and remark how much
you look
act
sound
like them
Its not the end of a relationship its the change to knowing they are part of you
That you know what they would do
They are there with you in you

As a boy I pushed time
Wanted the next step
Growinf I began to wander the chronological path with weary
Seeing misfortune ahead
Soon I began to fight time pulling back
Seeing the once warm welcoming beacon,  become a warning
I struggle

Alas time had no feeling
It trudges independent of superfluous wants
A requiem of lifeived
A glorious picture of futures
Here I sit
In the supreme present

As a boy I pushed time
Wanted the next step
Growing I began to wander the chronological path with weary
Seeing misfortune ahead
Soon I began to fight time pulling back
Seeing the once warm welcoming beacon,  become a warning
I struggle

Alas time had no feeling
It trudges independent of superfluous wants
A requiem of life lived
A glorious picture of futures
Here I sit
In the supreme present

Anguish sinks and floods my mind
Basking in a suble muting that covers and clouds
A smile paint on rusted steel
A clear path to the muddled mass below

I don't remember your name
And not everyone saw your picture the same
But as you lay in the earth
I can remember your joy to this day

You were sick and you weren't to eat
But the doc said this wasn't an illness to beat

So a pizza was brought to you
Mushrooms pepperoni sausage ricata cheese
Slathered in sauce covering your face.
Some one took a picture

Some one who saw it's beauty in it
Some one who knew that in that picture purest joy was expressed

I do not remember your name but I can still see your face and I thank you

For in your graceful moments of enjoying every ounce of the morsels taste you remind me in dark days when staring into the bitterness of death,
One slice of pizza can shed light,
while it may not beat the unyielding pressance it stays at bay allowing for rest.

Darkness comes into me
But I should not frighten
For I am more pure then the light
The day may bring joy and delight
Night brings purity
Washing away the frantic lives
Silence washes through once busy roads
All is still and as one in the night when the darkness comes

I see your eyes
Your smile hurts
Its ok mine too
Keep it up there watching
We can feel it later
Wide grin
We won’t be called weak again

When I need to know whats going on in the world
I dont turn to the chilling nightly tales inflated to mass hysteria
I dont listen to the colorless depictions of the minority
I look to the street, the uncensored illustrations of the heart
annoymous entries into the ideas of the masses
begging for  peace
a peace that can be reached not through force
but belief in that the world we desire is the world that is

A young rose is used it beauty close concise but all look on its elegance and clear beauty simple like new love, small and only surface level

As love grows deeper the rose blooms the layers and complexity continue to shine through and grow deeper with each passing day
As a love grows in diversity like the many petals of a mature rose

When a rose dies its either scattered, but like old memories of a broken love each brings a small amount of joy
Or it is dried like and as true love is never forgotten, it will remain a mere memory of its once grandeur

I step onto the mat
the sudden softness springs the other awake
the one born of pain misery and focus
everything deafens
the world blocks out
its me and them
whoever wins the better
no complaints no if onlys ones stronger
ones weaker
everything blanks out thought included
it slows you down reaction after reaction
wistle blows your hands raised
the beast quiets
till called on again