Red,
She had the reddest lips I'd ever seen,
Or kissed under the trees,
But now, they are cold,
And the one who gifted her demise,
Stands before me.
Blue uniforms scatter around,
Questions and more questions,
I don't know anything officer,
He had a cold heart, and a cold grin.
I must identify one of the five,
Four innocent humans,
Scared and nervous,
Staring at me with those childish eyes,
They tell me they have done nothing,
I don't know that.
One of them took her away from me,
Was it the short one with red hair?
He's nervous and cold sweat illuminates him.
Or was it the tall blonde one,
He's smiling softly under that innocent look.
Did you do it?
I've never seen them before.
All I remember is the grin,
That cold grin, bathed in her blood,
The grin that took her smile away forever.
This is a difficult task,
I can't get her out of my mind,
Did I tell you where I first met her officer?
It was a cold starless night,
And our eyes met in the moonlight,
Something clicked,
And my heart skipped a beat,
Her's must have too, she giggled
And blushed when she looked into my eyes,
Lucy,
That was her name.
And now the blush is gone,
And the giggles are gone,
Cold death swept over her and stole her from my embrace.
I must find who did it.
One of the five.
The tall one with the jet black hair?
He has a familiar grin,
I remember that grin,
I remember those cold eyes,
Shining in triumph of doing his Master's bidding.
I point, it was him officer.
They seem satisfied,
They take me away, pull me away from the mirror.
The grin is back,
My reflection smiles back,
I remember you Lucy,
I remember when you grew cold,
When your lips lost their color,
They used to be the reddest lips I had kissed,
They used to be red.

My sister might like girls.
But she is happy with her boyfriend.

I have no girlfriend.
I think something is wrong with me.

Does that mean I can't be happy with girls?
Am I gay?

I just want the happiness that I see her with.

i will always associate back flips
with my first "boyfriend" in the third
grade who has probably now grown
up to be the type of guy who takes
pictures of himself shirtless in the bathroom
mirror and tells his girlfriend that she's pretty
but not quite as pretty as he is.

i will always associate playgrounds
with my elementary school sweetheart
and hearing my favorite love song and
him walking five steps behind and defending
me when he thought i needed it.

i will always associate the rain
with wet tables and standing up
and laughing with friends and talking
and being wrapped in someone's arms
for the very first time and hearing "i missed you."

i will always associate "almosts" with the guy
i never really realized i wanted until it was too late
and seeing him walk around holding the hand of the
girl who wanted him when i didn't and seeing him kiss
her the way he wanted to kiss me once upon a time
and with ******* up really really irreparably bad this time.

i will always associate short time periods with the two weeks
when i belonged to someone I never expected to want,
when he kissed me like i mattered,
when he held me as though he would never let go
and then told me we should "take a break" and
come back to us when the "time was right."

and i will always associate happiness with these times
when i was loved and wanted and needed for just a little while
and believing for just a moment that i was special.

and you know what else?

i will always associate failure with the entrance of something better
i will associate failure with a narrow escape because if it were meant
for me to have then i would have had it but it's not so i don't.

i will always associate life with beautiful complications.

I see you go by everyday
I come close enough for a hug
but refuse to take it
thinking
It won't be good..

I remember the time
when we gave the other a hug
I would have kissed you away
but stopped myself
thinking
Don't even try.

I remember the times
I decided to not do anything
about it
and then it hurt me more
and no matter what I think
I can't bring myself to a conclusion.

Your words claw out of my eyes,
And fall translucent into the clasped palms
Of my hands.

Listen, listen carefully to the muddled sounds.
Hear the tiger's paws trample the dusted paths of
The vacant streets;

The arcane acres of blotted ink
Sitting beside the ruminant hordes,
Choking on a drawer of silver spoons.

We see through the wall's hole;
A soothing fire raging, yet we cannot touch
It's flame.

STAND IN LINE, take a number
Our turn will be coming soon.

Be the street lamps beneath the redwood's shade
Be the porch swing on the moon's surface.
Be Atlantis, lost and found.

Listen,
         listen
                 carefully...

Clouds of smoke
Swirl around my head
Like the thoughts inside:
A foggy sludge
Making mocking faces
Mimicking my ghosts

'You are a lush'
'You are a rogue'
'You are a pain in the ***'

Ashes falling to the floor
Pulling me along
Cherry red fire sizzling
Burning away my resolve

I get up
And I fall farther

Face it, said the smoke
You're no phoenix


My eyes close


I agree.