The posted photo
made on somones computer
looked like loneliness
dressed as wisdom
and begged you to believe the fallacy

It said
Don't fall in love when you're lonely
fall in love when you're ready

You will never learn how love works
if you save it

give it away
get hurt
give it away again

Love takes practice

And even if finding my love
looks like the crackhead's
needle in the haystack

Know that my love isn't *****
You won't get sick from my love
It is just that my love has been used

And that is all that love ever wanted anyway
was to be used

It is not some Star Wars action figure
Meant to never be opened
to maintain value

Imagine Luke Skywalker's
Anger at you upon tasting fresh air
Thinking
Have you seriously been keeping this from me?

Have you seriously been keeping this from me?

My love is pure
Been refined
by the filter of bodies
and coming back to me

My love is top shelf
but it is always free

Tears made of blood falling down her cheeks. Help her.

i wish you could see yourself the way i see you
cracked lips and lanky arms
eyes, the colour of the Mediterranean Sea
and how they don't quite seem to measure up

as the troubled boy who covers his sadness
with the cigarette held in your raw fingers
the same fingers that once traced gentle lines down my spine
as if it were a canvas

i wish you saw yourself the way i see you
at 4:36 am
with tired eyes and flushed cheeks

or as the boy who has now taken my heart
from the gaping hole in my chest
holding it in his hands as if it were nothing
but his pathetic cigarette

I'm so curious about you
I know you're someone else
I finally see the truth
And even though you hurt me
I'm dying to speak to you
I want to know your name
And what you're really like
What color is your hair
And the shade of your eyes
Where is it that you live
What is it that you do
Could you love the real me
Could I love the real you
The charade is finally over
For the both of us
Hopefully you'll admit it
And who really knows
If we'll talk again
But if you wish to speak to me
Honestly and as yourself
Reach out and try
I surely won't bite
We're only human
We're bound to make mistakes
I'll forgive you and you can forgive me
We can move on and really see
How we get along in reality
Without the facades

when all your scars
fade, will you pretend
you never had them
in the first place?

Sleep, sleep, sleep
Too much, not enough;
Not reaching a balance,
What is wrong?
Where has the time gone?
Lack of focus,
Lack of I don't know what.
Nothing is definite,
Nothing is permanent,
Nothing makes sense.

Help, help, help
I don't know what's wrong,
My eyes are closing.
All I want is to crawl into bed
And curl up into a ball,
Leaving this world behind
To find that place in my mind,
That place where all is locked inside
For none to find.

****, ****, ****
Nothing's been done.
These demons are attacking,
Fighting for control.
Who are you?
Who am I?
I've changed too much
To recognize who I am.
There's work to do
Papers piling up.

Pain, pain, pain
My mind is cracking,
Emotions are flowing
At unexpected moments
I don't know what's happening.
Thoughts are leaving before fully forming,
Leaving much confusion.
Not knowing is making me sick,
Unmotivated to do anything
Except lie here staring at a wall.