I can see right through you
I can look past
your cold skin,
brutal glares,
and excluding words.

and there is not much underneath
A little girl lost
In a world too mature for her.
Insecure,
Weak,
And Scared.

because you are not above me.*
Self-riotousness
can only
get you
so
far.

(I know that deep down, you actually do care)

Fabricate
Fantasicate
Just how fake
that heartbreak
was to take
was to face
was to brace.
How'd you place
the blame
on  his chase
to fill your space,
when his heart raced
and heavily paced
when the idea graced
to be your mate?
I guess one could state
that this is fate
though the gates
at which she'll wait
will have low rates.

Funny how I never knew
Never had the slightest inkling
That I've been falling for you
With your long wavy hair
As brown as the earth around us
And eyes as bright as the morning sun
Your sly smile has made it's way into my dreams
Suffocating my mind and leaving memories
I've slowly begun to lose myself
Heart and soul
Falling into your hands
Waiting for you to decide what to do with them
Hoping, that your heart will somehow belong to me
And I can be the only one to keep it

On that bed
With your blue sheets
Your one small pillow
Your thick cover

We first kissed
It was new
It was passionate
It was indescribable, really.

We would nap
Always the same
Windows open for breezes
Bodies embraced for warmth

On that bed
A bond was shared
One I thought couldn't be broken

On that bed
Marriage was proposed
No hesitation; yes.

We promised our lives to each other
On that bed

On that very same bed
You betrayed me
In every sense of the simple word

On that bed where we had everything
In one swift move
It was taken from me, from us.

Where I felt most safe, most loved.
I'm now ashamed and broken
On our bed.

Dear Future Me,
I hope things get better. I know they wont get any easier, but I pray that they get better. I pray that theres someone out there in the future thats a version of me to receive this letter. That will mean that I have made it...something that I truly doubt with the way things stand currently.