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2.6k · Dec 2013
Unfair
Dánï Dec 2013
It's crazy how things happen.. You meet someone and all is great.. They make you laugh, blush, smile, daydream, plan ahead. You can trust them so easily even though that's so hard to do. You both can have deep meaningful conversations and it isn't weird because you make each other feel comfortable. You feel yourself developing feelings- even the tiniest bit. At first you don't know what to do.. You relate to each other on a whole other level so you just go with the flow, you look forward to them being a part of your day, someway somehow. Then you realize you look forward to them too much.. You put too much faith on them, expect too much and so the littlest of things disappoint you. That's when you're sure you know how it'll end. That's when you overthink and ruin things. That's when you let another one get away.. unfairly.
-d.***
2.6k · Jun 2014
Black Smoke
Dánï Jun 2014
Although I missed you, I didn't miss the yells
And all the times you made me feel unwell;
Whether it was physical or emotional,
Your love was harsh and you made it seem personal.

Your huge hands to hold me, you used to hurt me.
Your warm smile you used to spit fire.
Those hazel eyes were made to captivate me,
And they did just that, in a prison cell was where I resided, forcefully.
Your loud, beautiful laugh was used mockingly,
And the way your words flowed showed me who I was, accidentally.
Your big, warm heart was charred- it beat quietly,
and you passed on the black smoke, unintentionally.
It filled up my mind, my lungs,
And with every breath I took I became even more numb.


Maybe this is why I look for you in every man,
It's all I've ever known.
And although it wasn't the most ideal plan,
Black was the only color I was ever shown.
-d.***
2.0k · Mar 2014
Advantage
Dánï Mar 2014
I can't trust anyone, no matter how hard I try,
Not even if you swore on your life, not even if I saw you cry.

I'm incurable, I'm damaged,
Don't go for me, please, save yourself from my baggage.

I'm so cold hearted, you don't even know,
It's just that I'm great at hiding it, I like to put on a show.

I'm stubborn- very hard headed,
I'd advise you to forget me- not fret it.

The thought of being with someone is comforting- finding something true,
But that's where you go wrong, that's when people take
advantage* of you.
-d.***
2.0k · Feb 2014
Reflection
Dánï Feb 2014
My name is a reflection of you,
The manner in which it's pronounced makes it all the more true.

My talk is a reflection of you,
The accent in which I speak in is all you- a sign of a sick tribute.

My walk is a reflection of you,
The way my left foot follows my right, and how my thighs are placed together- never bidding adieu.

My sleeping schedule is a reflection of you,
How I stay up in fear of you coming but not being seen by a rescuer- always out of view..

My thoughts are a reflection of you,
Paranoic and the over-analyzation of everything following through.

My mirror is a reflection of me,
Tainted, shattered, distorted- indefinitely.
-d.***
1.9k · Dec 2014
High Lows and Low Highs
Dánï Dec 2014
Too much of everything is sometimes just that- too much.
When you're at your lowest you get closer to the high yet think you'll never be high again.
And when you're at your highest sometimes the air gets thick and no breath is let in.

The lows are so painful, so dark and so fearing. You see no way out and your open sky develops a ceiling. You're surrounded by smooth walls, no place to help you grip your way up,
and when the top seems too far you start to look at things through a half empty cup.

The cup being smudged with finger print stains doesn't help, you see all your efforts gone to waste and lose faith in yourself. The water at the bottom blows everything out of proportion, and your failures are brought to sight in a new light, your hopes and dreams start to seem foreign. We think the world is cruel and whoever allowed it is, too. Why are things the way they are, why do we deserve such horrible things, why can we be scarred? Why aren't things perfect, I'd be so happy if things were perfect, if I didn't care about anything and no harm was felt. If no one was possessed by something so evil, if mutual respect was a given and acceptance was pressed. If only there was no one to be against or no one against us, no one to feel threatened by or depressed. If all things good were mandatory, obligatory and all things bad were kept in fictional stories. Horrors and terrors was only experienced in movies while bliss and happiness was all that was permitted.
But on the ground you feel close to what's high, so close yet at the same time so far. One feeling helps supply our faith and the other nullifies it. It's a turmoil we need to purify and the thought of the high gives of hope of it being beautified.

There are two sides to everything

Being high is the best and when we are we feel so passed blessed, we feel chosen. we feel we have a message to profess and manifest, it's a feeling that cannot be ever suppressed nor fully expressed. We're at our peak and no thing seams bleak. We might weep but it's out of happiness, and we might feel stressed to get rid of anything we detest, no matter how little.

We find the urge to get rid of all things that have or could bent and dent us. All things that have sent us to the depths we were at once..
When we're high sometimes we feel a superiority, we feel the need to direct whatever happens next. The feel to control is what needs to be assessed and corrected, it needs to be addressed and made ***** before it's possessed and infected with something not able to be mended. We start to get seemingly positive outcomes by using negatives, and that wasn't what was meant.. We get too high and don't notice how wet the ground is, and in our state of mind it's easy to slip and get wrecked. We get too high to remember what it's like down when we were swept off our feet and made to kneel. We get high enough to scoff at the fuss and to dismiss the idea to discuss our situation, our foreseeable yet unfathomable stump. We're too high to think we can be stumped, and when it happens to us we'll feel as if thought it has been dumped on us. We'll cry saying it isn't fair and though things might seem beyond repair we'll say we don't have a care because we still have that residue high, we still have that feeling of superiority and think nothing can go wrong anymore. The high helps yet it is suffocating, it can be put up to debate but the truth is we can't await for history to repeat itself. We can't let people imitate the wrong we need to educate and indicate them to where the facts have proven to be right. No need to obligate- a sound mind will always correlate and initiate collaboration.

We need balance and we need guidance, we need help and we need to learn how to seek it. Sometimes we'll find it in things we can and can't see, regardless, by doing so we might finally find inner and outer peace.
-d.***
1.7k · Nov 2013
Bread Crust and Soggy Cereal
Dánï Nov 2013
I want to have someone who;
Likes to count the stars and start over when they lose their place,
Is fascinated with the moon and everything to do with outer space.

I want to have someone who;
Is infatuated with my dull eyes and crooked smile,
Won't mind my clumsiness and will stay a while.

I want to have someone who;
Will read big books and watch long movies with me,
Notices the extraordinary in all that I see.

I want to have someone who;
Knows how to stimulate all my senses,
Can see my big picture without any lenses.

I want to have someone who;
Isn't difficult- simple,
Isn't crazy.. but just by a little.

I want to have someone who;
Doesn't mind my far from attractive moments,
Thinks my corny jokes are golden.

I want to have someone who;
Gives me absolute bliss,
Can heal all my wounds with one simple kiss.

I want to have someone who;
Holds on tight and won't give up on me,
Doesn't pay mind to any "let me be".

I want to have someone who;
Hears me even when I don't speak,
Kisses my forehead, nose and cheek.

I want to have someone who;
Tells me when I am wrong,
Argues with me while we simultaneously get along.

I want to have someone who;
Doesn't like bonfires so they make s'mores in the kitchen,
Tells all stories- except fiction.

I want to have someone who;
Has a bit of hate for the material,
Enjoys *
bread crust and soggy cereal.
-d.***
1.4k · Dec 2013
Infinite
Dánï Dec 2013
There's nothing I've wanted more than the ability to forget.
I've tried but I haven't been able to master it, yet.

I can't forget your scorching touch,
You left scars, more than enough.

You were trying to mask your impotence,
I should've shown more than just indifference.

Tell me did you understand what you were doing, did you notice my change?
Must of since you'd repeatedly ask "Why are you acting so strange?"

I never admitted, never told a soul,
I never seeked help- I turned numb, bitter cold.

Tried to convince myself I was strong, stronger than you.
I was completely wrong, you knew this, too.

You hold so much sovereignty over me,
I still cannot comprehend how this can be.

You knew who'd keep quiet, you knew which prey to choose,
You're so clever, made sure you'd never lose.

Do you know how indefinitely f'cked up I am now?
Are you happy? Are you proud? Do you want to take a bow?

Your time is ending, your death is near,
You'll be gone, yet I'll always have so much to fear..
-d.***
1.3k · Apr 2014
Cheap Sunglasses
Dánï Apr 2014
Caught sight of me,
Sprinted towards me at full speed.
Left me disoriented at impact,
You knew, for you, I was the perfect catch.

Pretented to mend me,
While feeding me poison ever so sweetly.
Lifted me up and set me firmly
On a chair cemented to the ground- you were all I could see.

Every now and then
You illuminated my world with false light.
Your stone cold hands caressed me,
Created a fire only you could ignite.

Through time I grew accustomed,
With time came wisdom.
I was able to finally open my eyes, finally got my freedom.

It was unmistakeable, your malice,
I saw through you like *cheap sunglasses.
-d.***
1.2k · Nov 2013
Carvings On The Wall
Dánï Nov 2013
I feel* very hopeless,
Completely worthless.

I feel the strength oozing out of me,
Pooling up on my bathroom
floor- staring up mockingly.

I feel the vibrations of your voice, loud and clear,
They always know where to hit me, just like a spear.

I feel as if I do not belong anywhere I go,
I'm a laughing sto
ck and guess who's the main attraction at this wicked show?

I feel my "loved ones" quickly drifting apart,
I was your roc
k but reality has crushed me down with a mighty start.

I feel the non believing eyes boring down,
None of you care as deeply as you claim, you'd rather I swallow my misery and hurriedly drown.

I feel you changing your mind about me,
I'm not the person you cleverly made me want to be.

I feel the stomps of your feet though I am thousands of miles far,
You make yourself believe you provided the necessary with a house and a car.

I feel the love I have for you slowly disintegrating,
It's funny how it's yo
ur world that is now changing.

I feel myself going crazy, completely insane,
and you're the only one who can carry that blame.

I feel** the way this is going to end,
So let me get the blade, my old friend.
-d.***
1.2k · Feb 2014
Forced Introverts
Dánï Feb 2014
How does it feel to lose yourself,
To feel yourself oozing through your pores and pouring into a shell?

These restless nights are deviously common,
My eyes have gone dry, no more bawling.

I lay here and wonder how did I miss the dead end,
Why did I sprint so purposely with no message to send?

These days you feel ashamed of the right, proud of the wrong.
My thoughts race, there's no time to process them,
I don't think they belong..

I swear I try my hardest to make you all proud,
I gave up, it's hard when you feel all alone in a crowd.

These people don't deserve me, you, us.
You and I confide in them and they ruin our non-resilient trust.

When you're alone, who's there to disappointment and vice versa?
Who's there to make you feel small and destroy ya?
No one

-d.***
1.2k · Dec 2013
Dimming
Dánï Dec 2013
It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.

The stars disappear, they aren't as bright,
It all becomes opaque, the caliginous night.

Our voices get softer, our fear louder,
We prefer to be lonesome, oh we're such downers.

The last of our emotions drip out, the color in our skin drains out,
You don't hear not a sound out of us, though trust me, we want to scream and shout.

Our hearts expand but get quieter,
Filled with sorrow- heavy yet at the same time lighter.

We become so very lost,
We yearn for happiness, though we all know it'll cost.

Can't help but feel scared, paranoid,
We'll do anything to help fill the void.

We feel an emptiness in us- start missing nothing,
We want to learn how to trust, give us something..

It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.
-d.***
1.2k · Dec 2013
Cautious
Dánï Dec 2013
I like to see the good in everyone,
I love to give but hate to receive, am I the only one?

I'd love to see everyone grinning,
Hmm, wishful thinking?

I feel sorrow for every hurt soul,
Curse the one who turned you cold.

But, of course, you can't always tell,
Who went through or gave *hell.
Never too careful

-d.***
1.1k · Oct 2013
Broken and Empty
Dánï Oct 2013
I'm tired* of who you aim your glares at,
how your beautiful words are just spat.
I'm tired of living life in constant fear,
not hearing affectionate words; my dear.
I'm tired of always going back to you,
you have the power to make skies grey or blue.
I'm tired of how much you've scarred us,
you so recklessly lost my trust.
I'm tired of your pointless accusations,
you can make or break me with just one statement.
I'm tired of how you make yourself seem so caring,
but the next second your voice is blaring.
I'm tired of the way you process your thoughts,
and of all the times you so carelessly fought.
I'm tired of the games you play,
you have so much to speak but nothing to say.
I'm tired of being yours to manipulate,
you haven't made me truly happy as of late.
I'm tired of being shot at; Russian Roulette,
I can't be near you without becoming upset.
I'm exhausted by your broken promises and empty threats.
-d.***
1.0k · May 2014
Dots
Dánï May 2014
No one knows me, and I mean that wholeheartedly.

Any clue you think I let slip was thought about carefully.
Any sigh or smile was planned out perfectly.
My curt replies written out pensively.
My attitude delivered deliberately.
My laughs emitted purposely.
Any sign of being intrigued thought about timely.
The bounce in my step choreographed repetitively.
Any cry made Oscar-ly.
Any sign of hopelessness shown thoughtfully.

Whether my skies are gray or blue,
*You only connect the dots I give you.
-d.***
1.0k · Jun 2013
Free Yourself
Dánï Jun 2013
When nothing is right,
When you fall because you are too scared of the height.
When wrong thinks you are bait,
When the people you need become people you hate.
When he holds you too close for comfort,
When you try to be strong though you are hurt.
When you are forced to care,
When daddy isn't there.
When you feel all ******* & bound;
When your heart just pounds and pounds,
When the tears come streaming down.
When mommy is too scarred to be rational,
When you wish you were supernatural .
When the chalk becomes a sword,
When your body becomes the board.
When your thoughts are spacebound,
When your voice is never loud.
When you are just a toy on a shelf,
You can't help but want to free yourself.
-d.***
1.0k · Nov 2013
Losing
Dánï Nov 2013
I can't sleep at night,
Knowing it's all wrong,
It's an endless fight,
I won't be in for long.

Everything isn't exactly what it seems,
I feel it slipping away- my morality,
What's left of my feelings pour down like streams,
I can't tell the difference between fiction and reality.

My sight is blurred and all is confusing,
I'm getting weak- soon I'll be paralyzed,
You don't realize it's my trust you're abusing,
Wish I saw the hope, wish you could *empathize.
-d.***
985 · Dec 2013
The Dark
Dánï Dec 2013
Everything is put into a sharper perspective at night,
Have you ever noticed the deafening loudness of the eery silence?
You start to comprehend a few things, but not quite,
You want to rebel, create a sort of defiance.

Just in time the others come out, they want to dance.
They ask you to join and promise to make you feel very alive.
You start to move, they watch you prance,
Though their stares are a bit unsettling, you abide.

You can hear your heart beat, or lack thereof,
You can feel your lungs constricting from the smoke.
You're getting carried away.. where's the sheriff?
Where's the ambulance? You're starting to choke!

Your thoughts swirl, your sight is nonexistent,
Your body crashes, you can't hear a sound.
"Don't worry, you'll be okay!" Oh, what an optimistic,
You wish you were okay, you wish you'd be found.

The others have left, you're alone now,
There's nothing around you, nothing but stars.
You were expecting the time of your life, a big wow,
Silly you, thought you knew, nothing good ever happens in The Dark.
Night Terrors

-d.***
982 · Dec 2013
Distractions
Dánï Dec 2013
I'd like to distract your thoughts,
Caress you, make you feel nice and hot.

For my own pleasure,
And maybe yours.

I'll feel good making you feel good,
Be very still, I'll set the mood.

Don't try to please me,
I'm numb, you'll see.

Worry not- you'll enjoy it,
The peak is in the heat of the moment.

Your senses are going crazy,
You're liking this, aren't you, baby?

You've become undone, you beg for more,
Sure.. there's always more to explore.

But, there are rules this time,
Fret not- you'll be fine.

Can't touch me, I can't stand it,
Keep eye contact, you'll soon be an addict.

The friction is building, your sweat is visible,
Wish it was more than just physical- I'm unforgivable.

You reach the top and come crashing down,
Only your erratic breathing, not another sound.

You want more of me- all of me,
But, there's not much to give, sadly.

You want to stay, you suggest to sleep on the floor,
Oh how silly, no honey, there's the door.
-d.***
938 · Dec 2013
Night Light
Dánï Dec 2013
I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of what's in it.
Your worst nightmares come true- truly horrific.

You can't escape it, no amount of light will help,
Once it's begun, it's inside of you- becomes a part of your self.

You'd think having someone beside you would suffice,
But what if they bring the dark? What if they are just someone who plays nice?

You can never be too careful,
Better safe than regretful.

Wish the time of pain and reminiscing would end without putting up a fight,
We should all know bad things mostly happen at night.

Maybe the restless days would then stop,
Maybe then there wouldn't be a time to sob.. just a thought.

Is it childish to have at my side, a night light?
Debatable.. but at least it illuminates the dark.
At least it gives the illusion it isn't melancholic hours, yet- it isn't night.
At least it aids my corrupted mind and bruised heart.
-d.***
936 · Apr 2014
Forevers
Dánï Apr 2014
I believe in certain forevers.

I believe in goodbyes that render tremors,
In sad moments and blue weather.
That lasts forever.

I believe in pain with no measure,
In aching and breaking that doesn't get better.
That lasts forever.

I believe in tears and quivers,
In curling up with an empty feeling that festers.
That lasts forever.

I believe in certain forevers,
But never the ones that cause pleasure.
-d.***
901 · Feb 2014
Ungifted
Dánï Feb 2014
These past couple of moments have been beautifully ideal,
I feel carefree talking to you, somehow that brings a lot into question, what's fake and what's real?

Maybe it's due to my unchangeable inability to trust.
Do we actually believe someone is being genuine without expecting anything in return from us?

These insecurities, you didn't cause them.
Still in my eyes you're a flawless, tainted gem.

So perfect, your faults make you perfect.
Only for a second do I believe that maybe we're worth it.

But how do you turn a nonbeliever into a dreamer?
A no-faither into a hoper?
The blind into seers?
The mute into preachers?
The immobile into runners?
The numb into healers?

The obvious answer is you can't,
*No ungifted man can.
-d.***
896 · Apr 2014
But a Bud
Dánï Apr 2014
You broke down the walls of this home,
Tore this safe haven to shreds.
How do you seek refuge in a war zone?
How'd you make coffins for the breathing out of beds?

You pushed without exceeding the limit,
You always recoiled just in time.
Told me I was your dearest,
That I was doing just fine.

How do you find strength,
In broken hearts and bones?
How can one wish for death,
When they've just gotten out the womb, barely grown?

Do you feel any remorse,
Any well earned regrets?
How do you touch and destroy a corpse,
Is it something you easily forget?

Not for me, though I wish.
You turned blossoms into buds, magically.
How do you not remember the one who took your bliss?
You left your imprint on me, traumatically.

Even now, I can't seem to hate you.
I've kept quite, don't want to make momma's skies dark blue.
Thought it could be something you outgrew,
You know, time heals all wounds.

But, is it really all wounds, no matter how deep, no matter how much they weigh?
Or is it just the ones effortlessly viewed, the ones on display?
-d.***
864 · Jul 2013
Point of Views
Dánï Jul 2013
I heard about people that cut,
Emos.
I heard about people that put nothing in their gut,
Anorexics.
I heard about people that say if, and or but,
Liars.
I saw someone with emotional pain.
I saw someone with endless shame.
I saw someone trying to keep sane.
-d.***
Dánï Nov 2013
I find it a bit hypocritical that I talk about "feeling" all the time,
I'm as numb as they get,
The ones that say they're fine,
Because we don't know how to explain something we haven't acquired yet.

I can't love you or hate you,
I don't have it in me to feel extremes,
You won't have what you need when it's due,
I have a weird way of letting off steam.

I can listen, I can "sympathize",
I can make you feel good- it'll all seem true,
It's unnerving you'll soon realize,
*It's definitely me, not you.
-d.***
798 · Apr 2014
Blatant Mirrors
Dánï Apr 2014
I'm disgusted* by how you plaster on smiles,
By how you laugh too hard and too much to keep the tears at bay.
By how you can walk on for miles and miles,
Alone or in a crowd, with not a word to say.

I'm disgusted by how you're strong for others,
But weak for yourself.
By how you look in every man a father or a brother,
Some sort of safety in a lover, whom you leave without so much as a farewell.

I'm disgusted by how you can wake up one day and no longer care,
By how you leave hearts as shattered and as broken as yours.
By how you ask yourself why life isn't fair,
While you play and play until you get bored.

I'm disgusted by how you hate pain,
But take to your skin at any given chance.
By how you look for something or someone to blame,
Knowing good and well you're the reason for your own constant relapse.

I want to change how I look at myself,
But the image couldn't be any clearer.
These thoughts manifest themselves,
*I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror.
-d.***
791 · Apr 2014
Gene to Kill
Dánï Apr 2014
We all have it in us, that gene to ****,
How if given the chance, we'd fight for our life.
Pretend to not be capable but, surprisingly, become very strong willed,
We'd do the most horrendous crimes out of desperation and strife.

It's a gene I wish to not have because,

I find it kind of funny, kind of melancholic,
How being a survivor is beautified.
I'm sorry, but I find no logic,
In fighting to live, while living to *die.
-d.***
765 · May 2014
Disproportionate Pools
Dánï May 2014
Floating, well trying to.
Sinking then lifting up
with clouds, right by you.
Nothing has ever described us as much.

This pool with its endless rivers,
Endless drops to infinity.
Temperature that keeps me warm but at the same time sends me shivers,
Your heated stare makes me cold, there's so much intensity.

Less is more or is more less? I feel like it's more about quality.

Half empty, half full cups,
Wantng you has a plus.
But then you hose me down to my inner crust,
Leaving nothing but rippling dust.

Trying to stand in angry waters,
Trying to swim against raging currents.
I've been through such horrors
that needing to be saved- by you-
is fervent.

Nothing makes it easy,
Neither boats or boards, they're too flimsy for me.
If you could just try to- and I ask beggingly-
throw me a life line by loving me deeply.

I'll glide to you happily,
That'll be a sight, you'll see.
-d.***
720 · Dec 2013
Fear
Dánï Dec 2013
This fear... I grew up with It,
It isn't a newcomer, I'm sure of it.

Have you ever encountered It?
Forced to play dress up and smile with It?

Take it by the hand and walk with It?
Making sure no one ever saw it was really It?

All in my head, there was It,
Giving me night terrors, happy was It.

Depression and anxiety were the cousins of It,
They came in the package along with other Its.

People loved It, manipulative was It,
No one ever suspected, proud was It.

Put on your facade, It wants to play;
It is going to be with you, night and day,
You can't get rid of It, you have no say.
It comes in all shapes & sizes

-d.***
719 · Feb 2014
Clover
Dánï Feb 2014
I think I've found the one,
But how many times have I said that before?
Maybe you'll stay, maybe I will, who knows?
Only the warmth spreading in this stone cold heart is for sure.

You help me by not helping me,
Make me laugh with no effort.
Your voice is constantly replaying in my head,
I think I'm falling- long story short.

You mean the world to me,
Plus a couple of stars.
Add Uranus because I want to be bangin that asap,
Sorry.. I went too far.

Regardless, I'm feeling you on a whole new level,
I'm pretty lucky- ****.
Letting you know I want to stay lucky for a couple of while's,
No pressure, at least for now I *am.
-d.a

The random weird things draw me closer like if I was an asteroid and you were earth and had that magnetic pull - "You"
715 · Dec 2013
2 Weeks
Dánï Dec 2013
It's not all about* your appearance,
Which you're wrong for thinking is worth a store's clearance.
It's about your soft heart,
and how we can't be apart.

It's not all about your heartless facade,
Which makes your sweet moments all the more appreciated.
It's about your presence lighting up my day,
and how you've managed to stay.

It's not all about the promises we made,
Which are hard to keep when you say the things you say.
It's about your way with words
and how you strum my chords.

It's not all about how without you I'd feel a vacancy,
Which just the mere thought leaves me antsy.
It's about our pulling through,
and how our love is true.
-d.***
695 · Jun 2014
Wanting Needs
Dánï Jun 2014
I need to make changes for the better,
I need to get out from under this stormy weather.
Given, I love the rain and thunder,
But, sometimes too much is enough and I need to take cover.

I need to go away- with the option of return, though..
I need time to mend these jagged edges and end these sorrows.
I might hurt some, this process will be painful and slow,
I know my heart will ache and wither, but at the same time it'll grow.

I need to be forgiven,
I need to make amends.
Fix these broken bridges with the pillars I've dreamt,
Tear down these walls and pave open roads with resilient cement.

I need and want many things,
I've been left with a feeble and fragile whim.
I need a couple endings to signal new beginnings.
But, most of all, I needingly want to feel whole again.
-d.***
680 · Jan 2015
Dead End
Dánï Jan 2015
Don’t** run along the bend,
Go down the road you cannot mend.
Don’t stop until you see the river form,
It's a sight that's sure to make you quiver even more.
-d.***
677 · Apr 2014
Long, Deep
Dánï Apr 2014
Long sighs* of exhaustion,
You keep blowing things out of proportion.
Deep sighs of regret,
You never let me forget.

Long thoughts on you,
Remind me of everything we've been through.
Deep thoughts on our once upon a time,
Pray they lessen overtime, pray I'll be just fine.

Long moments of daydreaming,
When you think about me, I hope you're screaming.
Deep moments of crashing down
Into the water, there I drown.

Long incisions to the end,
Heard those can't be mended.
Deep incisions full of fear,
There's no going back from here.
-d.***
603 · Jan 2015
deflowered
Dánï Jan 2015
do not stand on unstable ground,
do not lean against a crumbling wall.
do not so much as look at a petal-less flower,
no, do not depend on me at all.
-d.***
578 · Apr 2014
Night Owl
Dánï Apr 2014
I come alive in the night-time,
Dead at day.
If you could see my thoughts you'd think they're sublime.
..........
Well, maybe not, but at least they'd catch your attention *anyway.
-d.***
573 · Mar 2014
Nightmares
Dánï Mar 2014
I feel like they're going to start again..
These nightmares so vivid,
They'd make anyone else combust from the fear.

I feel like I'm being watched,
I felt a light tap on my temple,
A ringing in my ear.
Are they playing with me?

What if this time I'm ****** so deep in slumber,
That I don't wake.
I just stay trapped in this wicked life,
Where the end isn't found, not even with a knife.
-d.***
569 · Dec 2014
Young with Old Thoughts
Dánï Dec 2014
I feel like I'm always going to be alone, mentally and physically.
But then I get to thinking and realize I'm so young, yes I feel old but I'm so very young. Someone/something might come into my life that'll fill that void tomorrow, next year or in a decade. We're alone for a reason, to better ourselves, to have to do so because going into anything incomplete will never leave you whole. You need to be whole to be able to share a part of yourself because everything takes something from you and when you're at pieces you can't afford that to happen, you don't have enough to let that happen.
Everything has a process, some longer than others. Some of us are complex broken glass and some of us are just a simple incomplete puzzles.
Regardless, we'll find the pieces, we'll take as much time as we need because patience is a virtue we can't live without. Being realistic is another crucial one. We need good balance because the wrong type of balance has a tiring and heavy weight that'll only crush you into more pieces.
We don't have control over anything but ourselves, and even thought it might not seem like it, it's up to us to decide how we complete ourselves.
Of course being whole isn't something we know or know how to acquire, especially if we've never been but once you're there, and you can only get there with the right steps, you'll know. I'm far from it, I know it'll take years and years for me to feel whole, but I'm good with incomplete, I've learned to accept it, and that helps. I don't believe in luck or chance, I know whatever is meant for me won't miss me and whatever isn't won't ever hit me.
Be accepting, balanced, realistic and patient.
-d.***
559 · Feb 2014
Cliff
Dánï Feb 2014
Nothing I do seems right,
Sincere actions getting no avail.
The more I seek, the more it's out of sight,
Trust gets you nowhere.

How do you stand tall,
On crumbling grounds?
This effect of the snowball,
Is slowly wearing me out.

How do you keep a clear mind,
With a head full of steam?
The more I try, the more I find,
It all isn't what it seems.

How do you keep hope,
When you're continuously knocked down?
In a faithless home,
You're never safe and sound.

It gets closer and closer, such an appealing cliff,
All that's pulling me back are the countless *what if's.
-d.***
558 · Feb 2014
Twisted
Dánï Feb 2014
Ever notice something and sit there awe struck?
For years I sat and cursed my seemingly bad luck.
Why wouldn't anyone stay? Why was I unworthy of?
How come I was alone? Where was my one true love?


People would come and go, I learned to not shed a tear,
Cold hearted- I know, but I guess I outgrew that fear.
I couldn't picture myself genuinely happy with someone,
All I saw was a loner with no one beside them in the long run.

One day, out of the blue, a collage of memories was thrown at me,
Every person that disappeared was remembered, every heartache felt anew.
I came to the horrid realization that the moments I unconsciously suppressed,
Were of *me leaving before I was left.
-d.***
527 · Jun 2014
Closure
Dánï Jun 2014
I want to cut.

I want to cut through all the saddness and lies,
I want to end this anger and these teary eyes.

I want to cut my broken self even more,
I want to become a piling mishap on the floor.

I want to cut away the negativity- the rotten limbs.
I want to remove the excess burden that has grown on me and has left me on a pathetic whim.

I want to cut my feelings off, indefinitely.
I want to end my emotions once and for all, deliberately.
-d.***
523 · May 2014
Ocean Love
Dánï May 2014
I'm scared of the ocean but I love getting wet,
I love the beach but I hate the sand.
And if we could, I would bet,
Our love making would make the waves stilly stand.

Entwined like seaweed,
Smooth as shells.
We both plead and then we're freed,
Muted by the seagull's *yell.
-d.***
506 · Mar 2014
One Day
Dánï Mar 2014
One day he's going to realize that he doesn't have a family, that he scared them all away.

*- 6 year old on her father
502 · May 2014
Faults
Dánï May 2014
An exploding head and a weak stomach,
Scattering thoughts and rising *****.

projected target

Painful movements and swollen eyes,
Achy limbs and teary sighs.

troubles minimized

A nose stuffed and a mouth open,
Sniffling lies and inhaling words unspoken.

lost emotion

Blurry sights and rancid smells,
Dizziness and it overwhelms.

empowered senses

Broken fingers and repaired walls.
Rough touches.. what seemed true was actually false.

*there are plenty of faults
-d.***
499 · Feb 2015
Xilan
Dánï Feb 2015
I'm trying to calculate how much I don't need you,
But I keep coming up with zero..
I'm trying to not want you,
But you've invaded and stuck to my necessities like crazy glue and I am crazy for you.
With you I'm a blue, a red, sometimes a lilac, too.

All the colors in the world, even the ones we haven't thought of,
All the droplets in the world no amount of Suns can dry up,
All the words I haven't wrote,
All the lines you have yet to quote,
All the shapes in the world we haven't sketched,
All the places that have yet to be felt,
All the sounds in the world you haven't emitted,
All the dreams we haven't dreamt-
Don't amount to what we are,
And though I ask that, I already know and am left in aw..
I don't mind the scar that is going to be left whether you stay or not,
These cheeks have been wet and with you it could be of happiness or of being forgot.


We both know I don't know what love is, you know I don't like that word and I don't know if I'm feeling it,
But it is what it is and it's far too late to quit this.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
And though this is said often I mean it.
I'll be everything you want me to be, (I rarely ask for anything) but please just teach me how-
Scratch that, all I ask for is patience,
Lead any way, babe, no doubt I'll always be down.

I want to help you grow and vice versa,
This us is timeless, baby, no circa.
-d.***
483 · Mar 2014
Taught
Dánï Mar 2014
I was never taught how to love,
It was never shown to me.
What was taught was a false sense of love,
One that from such a young age, made me lose faith in humanity.

I was taught money bought forgiveness,
Blows symbolized your adoration for them.
I was taught such ugliness and bitterness,
Where there was once innocence, hatred stemmed.

I was taught all tears were true,
All apologies were honest.
I was taught to not forget was spiteful of you,
That forgiveness was a given and in your enemy you should seek solace.

I was taught pretending it never happened,
Covered up the millions of shouts.
I was taught to never dare let your soul blacken,
Even when the demons don't get out.

It's all I ever knew,
Don't accuse me of something I had no control of.
If you see and hear evil, you feel evil, do you question the sky being blue?
It isn't my fault I never witnessed love.

But

Most importantly I was taught,
Love isn't something you learn.
It's something you feel in your heart,
When it's rightfully **earned.
-d.***
481 · Jul 2014
Since Your Absence
Dánï Jul 2014
I've started drinking just to lose coherence.

I've started holding back because without you there's no ******.

I've started smoking just to make sure I'm actually breathing once it becomes increasingly difficult.

I've started popping pills just to numb the feel of my barely there pulse.

I've started gulping down red bull just so when my heart hurts I'm able to find it.

I've started building walls just to replace the bridges once built.

I've continued to scar myself just to make sure I still feel.

I deemed it all fit since your absence, the only things that're real.
478 · Apr 2014
Crazy
Dánï Apr 2014
Being crazy is knowing something but thinking another.

Knowing it's impossible to count the stars in the night sky,
Knowing I can't fly,
But thinking I can and I will.

Knowing I can't stop wanting you,
Knowing you won't ever want me like I do,
But thinking we can and we will.

Knowing nothing lasts forever,
Knowing this won't get better,
But thinking it can and it will.

Sometimes crazy is the only reason I'm sane,
I'm just looking for the sunshine that follows the *rain.
-d.***
475 · Jul 2014
Bitter Fool
Dánï Jul 2014
You deserve the world on a broken platter,
You deserve to be fed with a wooden spoon.
I'm not at all bitter,
I just don't coincide with being played for a fool.
-d.***
475 · May 2014
Blind Leading The Blind
Dánï May 2014
They come and they take you out,
They show you love and what it's seemingly all about.

It's what you've been looking *for,

Your shattered heart is picked up from the floor.
Still, day by day they take a piece of you away,
You don't notice, but, regardless you have no say.
You grow older and wiser,
Yet, also become smaller and blinder.
Love and hatred intertwine,
In love you see hate, in hate you see love- all overtime.


*
They go and they leave you out,
And you're left even more broken and alone than before, no doubt.
-d.***
473 · Dec 2014
Chemical Signature
Dánï Dec 2014
I heard overtime our body disposes of cells and develops new ones, how sublime.
My body last year isn't what it is now, and certainly not what it was when I was nine.
I guess scientifically you've never touched me.
You've never gripped my face in between your forefinger and thumb, never put your mouth, your thin upper lip and full bottom lip on my tightly closed one.
Apparently I was never forced to see.

See, I was too numb, too motionless to fight back and eventually turned emotionless.
Cause and affect

Never felt you push yourself on me or you openly inviting my hand to explore.
Never felt the dread I felt when you told me I was adored.
Never grazed my ear with your fingers as you pushed my hair back, telling me I was beautiful no matter how hard I tried not be, that in a sea full of girls there was no one else like me.
That out of all of them I was different, I was special, I couldn't be cloned.
I had a heart made of gold that wouldn't hurt anyone even if told.
I never had to feel your breath on my cheek or neck as you asked if I loved you, as you asked if I was alright. That if something was wrong I could go to you with no hesitation and like always you pried and I lied.

Maybe that's why I never believe anyone that has a mouth or fingers or eyes, just like you did, just like yours. I don't trust anyone that can form beautiful words, can't let them have the ability to make them retch worthy, too much at stake to let another one of your kind hurt me.
Cause and affect

I never felt a maleficent, fine blade on my own skin, slicing away the words I could never begin.
I never felt hot tears on my chin, dripping down into the deep pool made of a deep red. Making a color I'll never forget, nor perfect ever again.

I love that a part of me will forever be on that tile, on that floor. Because the whole of me has been long gone, just like my (hopefully soon) soul.

Yet, I'm still her, and she'll forever be me, that poor little nine year old girl that had to endure it all until she was pubescent, and then as if that wasn't enough, sickly got tortured and scarred some more while growing into a poor excuse of an adolescent- a traumitized, terrorized *adolescent.
-d.***
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