Cover up the emptiness,
they won't look in the light.
Make them feel the bitterness,
know that they won't fight.

Never keep your promises,
watch them while they bleed.
The only truth ever told to them is,
they're not the only ones in need.

Crush the shallow dreams they make,
burn the frigid world they believe.
So now they are at last awake,
to look into the souls they deceive.

Tentatively they reach out a hand,
to try to mend what they have broken.
Unable to save those already ******,
"sorry" being a word too readily spoken.

Have they learned the lessons taught,
or are they just pretending now?
These hearts are too often bought,
they hope to feel the love somehow.

Look away and see them smile,
they're showing what you wish to see.
The darkness has gone away for a while,
they'll let you live this *fantasy.

I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.

I know* it's hard,
I know people like us don't have it easy.
But it's effortless to pick up a shard,
And mutilate ourselves until looking in the mirror makes us queasy.

I know we can't talk even if we wanted to,
I know our emotions aren't always crystal clear.
But if it's one thing we want and so desperately pursue,
Is to be able to utter an "I'm okay" and for it to be completely sincere.

I know we can't trust,
I know it's been broken so many times.
But we've wrongfully learned to adjust,
To someone who isn't worth it, to someone who just hurts and lies.

I know what it's like to need and not get,
I know what it's like to be told "just forget".
But they don't know what we've been through,
They don't know all we've had to endure.

I know ending it seems unquestionable and inevitable,
I know the pain seems irrevocable and inequitable.
But I just want you to know that I'm here,
And it's hard to speak but I'm all ears.

*I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.

I'm broken,
Wishing someone will realize, but no one notices.
I'm hurt,
Hope you choke on all your cursed jokes and words.
I'm alone,
Whether it's my fault or yours is unknown.
I'm done,
But pills, blades, and shots don't always fulfill their purpose.
I might as well live this life tragically numb,*
And fight all these urges.

Deadened* eyes and sugary lies,

We spill our guts and plan our demise.
From these withered roots we rise,
Count your breaths and swallow the sighs.

Lie awake and hope to die
,
Never let them hear you cry
.
Swallow the fear and say goodbye,
Whisper to the starry sky.

Like soft strokes of a lover’s hand
,
The wind carries voices of the ******.
Drained and weary they demand
,
To return to the warm embrace of land.

No more can we see the sun,
In the clouds and mist we run
.
Regret, there is but one
,
*That they had put down the gun.

You broke down the walls of this home,
Tore this safe haven to shreds.
How do you seek refuge in a war zone?
How'd you make coffins for the breathing out of beds?

You pushed without exceeding the limit,
You always recoiled just in time.
Told me I was your dearest,
That I was doing just fine.

How do you find strength,
In broken hearts and bones?
How can one wish for death,
When they've just gotten out the womb, barely grown?

Do you feel any remorse,
Any well earned regrets?
How do you touch and destroy a corpse,
Is it something you easily forget?

Not for me, though I wish.
You turned blossoms into buds, magically.
How do you not remember the one who took your bliss?
You left your imprint on me, traumatically.

Even now, I can't seem to hate you.
I've kept quite, don't want to make momma's skies dark blue.
Thought it could be something you outgrew,
You know, time heals all wounds.

But, is it really all wounds, no matter how deep, no matter how much they weigh?
Or is it just the ones effortlessly viewed, the ones on display?

I'm disgusted* by how you plaster on smiles,
By how you laugh too hard and too much to keep the tears at bay.
By how you can walk on for miles and miles,
Alone or in a crowd, with not a word to say.

I'm disgusted by how you're strong for others,
But weak for yourself.
By how you look in every man a father or a brother,
Some sort of safety in a lover, whom you leave without so much as a farewell.

I'm disgusted by how you can wake up one day and no longer care,
By how you leave hearts as shattered and as broken as yours.
By how you ask yourself why life isn't fair,
While you play and play until you get bored.

I'm disgusted by how you hate pain,
But take to your skin at any given chance.
By how you look for something or someone to blame,
Knowing good and well you're the reason for your own constant relapse.

I want to change how I look at myself,
But the image couldn't be any clearer.
These thoughts manifest themselves,
*I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror.