This is life,
you'll have nights,
when you won't let your body fight,
and you won't sleep tight.
You'll have days,
when you'll try to escape,
but just don't hate.
This isn't a bad life,
but just a bad day.
This is life,
and you'll be in pain,
just keep fighting with the monsters in your brain.
Things will get tough,
but so are you my darling.
You'll never ever give up,okay?
Just keep learning.
Now,wake your soul up and listen,
you're here for a reason,
stop waiting for seasons.
This is your time,
get out of your comfort zone,
because you're strong,
stronger than you know.

The list of things that I wanna do with him,
the situations I wanna be in,
the scenarios I've created in my head,
all of it,
it's huge.
But trust me, it's cute.
I wanna adore him,
like I adore god for sending him on this planet.
I wanna be around him,
always,
like that bracelet in his hand.
I wanna hug him,
like the beach does,
to the sand.
I wanna be a part of him,
like the sun becomes,
of the river,
at dusk.
I wanna make love with him,
but with good intentions and purity.
I wanna love him,
till my soul leaves my body.
I wanna give it all for him,
and live with him till my last breathe.
But what if he's not upto all this ?
What if he don't wanna do the things,
that I wanna do ?
What if god have just sent him to give me another heartbreak ?

From strangers to friends,
Then, friends to something more,
And then, both of us just started to ignore.
as you shifted from frequently contacted to block list in my phone,
and everything we had between us,
just got vanished !

And now it's sad how we have nothing between us anymore.
I am seriously scared to catch feelings anymore !
I don't know if I am good enough for you.
Maybe you deserve someone better,
and not a mess like me.

No matter how hard I try,
memories play in my head on repeat.
I try to forget you,
but a part of me,
just don't let you go.
Youu moved on and I'm still standing here,
waiting for you to look back and say,
"are you ok my love ?"

Yes I was the one who ended it !
Because I was mad at myself,
and not at you.
Yes ! I miss you and I still love you.
But when you will come in front of me,
I'll just act like I am better off without you,
And I don't need you.

But it's really not true,
but I'll act so.
Because I accept that,
Whatever happened can't be undone.
So I'll take it as a lesson,
because you can't be forgave the forgot.

Do you ever ask yourself if you're happy with your life ?
Do you even know how to live ?
Or just survive ?
Are you doing what you love ?
Because that's the only way to be truly satisfied .

No one can ever tell you or decide for you ,
because there's a voice inside of you ,
that speaks all day long and tells you what's right and what's wrong .

Try listening to it ,
just don't let it suffocate .
Don't ever let it die .

We all are puppets in this world ,
and we spend a big patch of our lives ,
doing what our parents , teachers , friends , preachers , want us to do ,
but not ourselves .

But one day ,
responsibilities will come to us ,
we won't know what we're supposed to do ,
because we never did .
Then ? What will you do ?

So , you still have time !
Just stop being inefficient ,
because now , you've to decide .
It's never too late to make things right ,
don't just sit their and wait .

Listen to your heart ,
and that voice held inside .
Stop being a puppet ,
and learn to lead your own life , own your own .

She always refused to try those DIY face masks and home remedies ,
and never took care of herself before .
But today ,
she put on a face mask ,
turned on the music a lil louder than usual ,
and tied a sleek ponytail !
You  know why ?
In order to distract herself ,
in order to escape !
No ! it's not her heartbreak ,
it's just because of a heartattack in her kidney !
Yes ! Because she found out that ,
her results of board exams were gonna come out the next day .

Unrequited love hurts ?
But for me,
it's a pleasure to sit and waste all my time, counting to infinity,
and wait to get the love back that I've been giving.
Waiting to be destroyed by the betrayal from a person who don't even know that I exist.
But does that mean I'll stop loving ?
No, because it's hard to love again,
if you truly felt affection towards someone.
Doesn't matter if there's any love left,
but just pain.
When you let someone go,
you lose a part of yourself and I'm not ready to feel a blank space inside of me so I'll stay.
I want to feel like someone's holding me,
or I'll fall down.
I need something to keep me going,
or my life will be miserable,
and more like hell.
I'm just another star but I still believe in happy endings because my love is true.
I can't leave you behind,
and move forward in my life.
Because I've already convinced myself that one day,
you'll be mine.
What if I'm nothing without you ?
Just a thought of you is so magical,
It feels like home.
I wander all the time,
but still, end up coming back to you.
I've done things I won't ever do,
just because I've you.
I'm not in your life,
but you're all that I look forward to.

क्रिएटिव राइटिंग का कोर्स था करना,
साइंस का नहीं,
पोएट्री का स्वाद था चखना !
गिरना है,
पर कुछ सीखना है उससे,
भागना है,
पर गति का ध्यान रखना है ।
संभालना है,
और हमेशा खुदका ध्यान रखना है ।
क्या मतलब जब में खुश नहीं हूं ?
क्या मतलब जब में इतना सेह रही हूं ?
चलो मान लिया कि सब ठीक है,
पर मुझे ऐसे नहीं जीना !
सब का मन्न रखते,
खुद को खोती जा रही हूं ।
डर लगता है कि कहीं इतनी गुम ना हो जाऊ,
की वापस ही ना लौट पाऊ ।
यह टूटे ख्वाब लेके में कहा जाऊ ?
इस धरती पे, किस पराए को अपना बनाऊ ?
सबको लगता है कि मेरी लाइफ तो सेट है क्यूंकि यह बंदी तो सबके सामने हस्ती है,
पर केसे बताऊ की ज़िन्दगी केसे कट रही है ?

I don't wanna study,
but I don't wanna fail!
So,I sit with my books all the day.
I try so hard,
but I still can't satisfy my parents and teachers with my grades.
This education system ruined my teenage.
It controlled my day and night.
I spend all of my time,
studying maths and science.
I'm sorry but now,
I feel pressurized.
I'm sorry but I  can't study all the time.
I'm trying my best,
but still,I'm sorry,if you can't see my efforts.
You don't even know,
how many times I revise those,
derivations,principles and rules.
This *****!
And at this point of time,
I honestly have no clue,
I really don't know what to do.

Currently at a point of life ,
where I'm already dead inside .
But let's just pretend that we're fine ,
because nobody cares anyway .

So , tell me , how's life ?
Great ! Right ?
But we know ,
we both are lying .

I'm not suicidal ,
I'm just tired and numb and ,
I don't feel this pain and ,
I don't even know what it's like to be okay .

It's just like ,
I'm surviving but not living ,
physically present here but lost somewhere ,
around so many people but still alone ,
no peace or no one ,
feels like home .

It's just that ,
I try to escape from my mind  everyday .
Everyday just passes by and I wonder ,
what's wrong with me.
I try to find the answer ,
but unfortunately , I fail .

I'm a soft, brown teddy bear sitting on the couch.
I see this guy wondering why he's apposite for this society.
I see him sleeping every night.
I soak all his tears when he cries.
He don't accept that he hugs me tight,
when he don't feel fine.
Because that makes him "weak" and "gay",
as he's supposed to be "strong" like a real boy.

Dreams come true if you try your best.
But what if you mess things up ?
What if you fail ?
Is there any hope ? a chance ?
to make things right again .
Yes ! But only if you've the courage .

But what if you're anxious because of what happened every time you tried ?
What if you're scared this time ?
You're so much than all of this ,
don't you know that ?

I don't know.
I don't understand.
Because  when I was confident ,
I wasn't right in their eyes .
I was hated and treated in a way ,
I didn't like .

Am I on the wrong path ?
I don't know anymore.
Because when I did ,
did they let me decide ?
No ! My decision didn't matter ,
it didn't make any change .

So, who knows the correct road for me anyways ?
I'm lost and can't move further ,
or maybe , just stuck ,
because I can't even find my way back .

I don't know if I should just give up ,
or just give myself another chance .
But I know my words aren't valued here ,
so , I learned to write poetry .

It's friday night ,
got a lot of **** to do ,
but I'm tired .
I feel like ,
I should write .
But do I've any time for myself ?
No !
Because I'm fighting for a degree ,
that I don't even want for myself .
It feels like , I'm drowning ,
or maybe , just something like ,
slowly dying .

Hey best friend !
I love you !
So , keep smiling .
Oh ! I forgot to tell you ,
your smile is contagious ,
and it gives me felicity .
Yeah I know you expostulate with me when it comes to coffee .
But still , you're the best because ,
you're tolerating the loony and loquacious me .

Oh my best friend !
How are you so hot ?
How can I forget how you changed my life for better when ,
it was null and naught .
You saved me ,
when I jeopardized myself .
Thank you for all the suggestions and lessons .
You helped me a lot and ,
you were always there for me when I needed you the most .

I  text you even when ennui don't hit me ,
because I love talking to you .
Overall , you're my happy pill !
No matter how bad my mood is ,
you always fix me .
You taught me to smile again ,
and you enlivened  my life .
I found a piece of me ,
with you ,
I lost before some time .

Hopefully , we'll meet one day ,
and I'll hug you tight .
And , on that day ,
distance won't **** anymore .
I'm honestly so glad that I met you ,
you're all mine , okay ?
And I appreciate our friendship ,
thank you idiot !

I grew up watching and listening to fairy tales ,
and movies of innocent love .
But things changed ,
when I entered my teenage .

I always learnt that real queens fix each other's crown ,
but today , when I look around ,
all I can see is ,
girls trying to put each other down .

I see boys having lust to cherish all the girl's body ,
rather than one's inner beauty .
Where are those caring prince charmings ,
who sticks to one girl ?

I see precocious children ,
the children whose mental attitude is developed beyond their ages .
The ones who treat the innocent ones acidly ,
all they fancy about is ,
how to ruin someone's life .
Where's kindness ? Where's humanity ?

Even home don't feel like sweet home .
And what all these kids feel is ,
loneliness and homelessness .
Why so ?
Where are those chuckles and laughter of family members in the home ?
Where's heartiness ?
Because all I get to see around is ,
parents behaving snappishly ,
and , ignoring their kids getting disconcerted by this .

I see brothers fighting like foes over the money of the people who whelped them .
Then , I see people censuring them ,
without having proper knowledge about the things going on .
I see people supporting tyranny with graces and glories .
They only do this for fun , right ?
But what about humbleness ?

This rage and brutish behavior will take this world nowhere .
So , I still sit under the sky of full of stars ,
and , glance furtively .
I try not to weep over trifles ,
I know this world is worn out ,
and thinking about all this ,
makes me feel woeful .

Sometimes , I groan ,
because I'm not valiant .
And my cowardice nature ,
don't let me blaze forth .
I think about making a change ,
I think about being a change .
But I don't know if I'm worth it ,
I don't know if it's necessary to have a poetic license for it .

I honestly don't know if I should adapt all this or ,
put on my gay dress to gallivant .
So , I walk , stumbling and timidly and with agitation , unwillingly , like an impassive child .
So , when someone will look around ,
and notice me ,
they'll just find me a crazy and daft child .

I really don't know what's going on right now !
Because I can't see anything beautiful happening ,
maybe this world is turning into something very different !

If she's smiling ,
doesn't mean she's happy .
If she's acting fine ,
doesn't mean nothing is wrong .
If she comes off strong ,
doesn't mean she don't cry anymore .
If she's sitting silently ,
doesn't mean her heart don't wanna scream .

Don't trust her fake smiles ,
don't trust her when she says she's fine .
She have been losing her mind lately ,
she have been so lost from a while .
And the sad part is ,
no one can see it , no one cares .

She have been treated acidly ,
she have been unloved and ignored ,
and still , she's so bold .

Everything that happened to her in the past ,
makes her the person you get to see today .
She was this , little happy girl ,
but now , just a girl who fakes a smile throughout the day .

She's a precious pearl ,
and deserves all the happiness in the world .
Even though she thinks that she don't deserve it ,
she do and she's perfect in all the ways .

I lack words to describe her ,
but I appreciate the girl ,
who have been through so much ,
and still stands strong .

Everything that's going on around me ,
isn't what I want .
Things aren't going as planned ,
and all of this ***** ,
and ***** with my head .

I can't do this anymore ,
no ! not anymore !
I've got secrets ,
that makes me hold my breathe all the time .

It feels like I'm trapped ,
and this trap is my past ,
which is stopping me from moving forward .
There's something really wrong with me .

I don't know how to express ,
but keeping it all inside ,
hurts a lot sometimes .

Till now , I've just figured out one thing ,
for me , writing is a great release .
I don't know how to deal with all of this **** .
So , I put my feelings into my poetry .

To be honest , now ,I spend a lot of my time ,
playing with these words in my mind .
It don't feel the same anymore ,
no ! it's not easy but also , not that dark here ,
I think it's all getting better ,
because I can see the light .

I don't know if I've got my **** together or not ,
it's still heavy but I guess now I know how to carry it properly .

Well ! In between all of this ,
I've found a piece of me ,
and I guess that's the best thing .
I'm blessed to be here ,
and thankful for the person I'm becoming .

A lot of events occur in our lives.
Some are happy and enjoyable but some are sad and traumatic.
You lose hope,
and you notice differences in people's behaviour towards you.
And that's how you learn to bear with all the ache.
When you choose to prioritize yourself first,
when you take your own decisions and when you don't care about people's opinions,
a lot of things change.
Make replacements.
And get rid of the negative people and love the ones who encourage you instead.
It's hard but it's crucial,
so you've to do it,
and you know what ?
The less you care,
the more they hate.
This change is necessary as depending on people for emotional support isn't good,
because you never know about people's intentions.
To cope with loss,
you become stronger.
So strong that you don't need anyone else.
Just believe that if everything's falling apart right now,
it will fall into place too soon.
Just have faith in your actions fall for the person you've became after these turns and obstacles in this life's stage.

(Quotes into turning
"I know I'm losing many but I'm loving the person life's turning me into ."
-Nitya Prakash
~
"One of the most crucial but hardest things yo do as a part of turning your life around is to get rid of all the negative people around you and replace them who encourage you instead."
-Neal Boortz )

Her eyes have something more beautiful than moon and stars,
but what about her scars?
She screams for help but no one listens,
there are so many monsters an demons hidden.
Sometimes she escapes,
sometimes she fights,
but all alone,
she cries.
She still smiles and hides all the pain in her eyes,
She made that pain look beautiful,
but no one will ever understand,
how the truth is so painful.

Do you ever just sit back and think that how crazy our lives are ?
Or is it just me ?
Do you ever think of how precious a moment is, when you're actually enjoying it to the fullest ?
Or i it just me ?

I hope I'm not not the only one who gets hit by this wave of sadness from nowhere,
when I was doing fine two minutes before.
I hope you don't think of me as a stupid person,
just because everyone else thinks so.

Sometimes, I just feel like getting my life together at midnight,
but next day, I'll just be waking up with a sad face.
Sometimes, I can't stop myself from crying and just cry myself more to stop,
and on some days,
I'll try to let it all out with tears,
but my eyes will remain dry,
and the pressure in my head, just increases by.

Overthinking about what could happen or what would have happen because of that one thing,
but not having energy in my body to make things right,
or to bring my life back on track or to bring any peace.

I don't know how to feel, express or even talk about it.
I can't define this feeling in words,
but it's with me, all the time.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm numb,
but I do also feel crazy when my different 69 moods hits me, all at once.

Is this how all of this is supposed to be ?
This is how life goes ?
Or is it just my life.
which is messy ?

"Have you lost your brain?" is the only question they ask me most of the times.
"Yeah, i guess.But what am I supposed to do now?"is my only reply.
"You're just overreacting", they said.
And then, I just told my heart that,
maybe my feelings aren't valid.

After all of this,
I just became really silent.
I think a lot in my head but,
I'm not the same anymore.
Now, they ask me,"what's wrong?" and Ii replied
"You asked me to shut the ** up indirectly.So, thank you.I just haven't really felt anything since then."

If you don't love yourself,
you'll live with a thought of love.
You'll never be able to fill that hole in yourself,
if you keep searching for putty of affection in others,
and not yourself.

But this isn't how it works.
This isn't how it's supposed to be.
Why is it so hard to accept who you really are ?
Why to hate the emotions that stir within you ?

Why do you crave for perfection ?
Don't you know that it comes from being the real you.
Embrace the beauty of your heart,
because that's a valid point to care about.
Instead of caring about your looks,
or the attention you get from people.

Why to be so harsh on yourself ?
Why to hate yourself ?
It's okay to take your time.
You'll heal and,
you'll grow from all the hate you've towards yourself.

Accept your flaws,
it makes you unique.
Your body,
it carries you through life.
Your failures,
it creates a room for improvement.
Your purpose,
it matters and your reason to live, everyday.

You'll keep trying to get someone to love you,
and you'll keep getting tricked.
This searching is going to take you nowhere,
but just to a heartbreak.
Try walking in the journey of self-love,
because that path will take you places.
Work on loving yourself.
otherwise,
your every relationship and task will fail.

Prioritize yourself first.
Take a minute everyday to tell yourself that :
"I'm good enough and I don't need to compare myself with anyone else".
Try falling in love with yourself because when you'll do that,
all the monsters in your head will go away.
You'll be okay with all your flaws and your real self,
when you stop doubting your worth and believe that you're perfect in your own ways.

Not all scars can be seen ,
not all wounds can be healed .
You can never even imagine how a person ,
who's hurt actually feels .

Having a broken heart ,
is like , having something broken inside of you .
No one can see it ,
but deep down it kills you .

You never know the real story ,
behind something you get to see .
Things are different in reality ,
maybe not as beautiful as it seems .
Maybe it's more painful ,
and , full of sorrows and miseries .

Some people just keep everything to themselves ,
deal with their demons ,
and all the thoughts ,
in their mind .
Maybe they can't find proper words to define ,
or not the right person ,
who understands .

You'll learn the best lessons of your life ,
after you get hurt ,
after you experience different things ,
the ones you never thought you really need .

You'll get broken over some people and situations ,
but life goes on ,
what can you do ?
you've to deal !

Just don't give up on this life ,
because where are rainbows without a little rain ?
Get up ! Try harder !
Because isn't easy for anyone here .

And this isn't the end ,
as the best days of your life are waiting for you to come .
Go and prove yourself .
Because you can do this ,
and you don't need to stay broken .

यह दूसरो की बेटी को छेड़ के खुदको स्टड समझते है,
और खुदके घर की लड़कियों को पर्दे में रखते है ।
अपनी बहन का मुंह बंद कर,
खुदको रक्षक बताते है ।
क्या उसूल है इनका ?
हर लड़की पे मरते है,
पर फिर भी खुदको शरीफ बता रहे ।
जुठ बोल के,
फ़ालतू रेप्यूटेशन का रोना गाए जा रहे ।

यह वोह ही है जो " show me your ***** " वाला मेसेज भेंज,
चौराहे पे चार लोगो के साथ, रिप्लाइ का वेट कर रहे ।
अभी भी तेरे थरक की बात नहीं है ?
यह लोग तो हमेशा सही है ।
एक्साइट हुए तो लड़की के तन की गलती है,
यह भूल रहे है कि वैसे ही एक तन से निकल,
अपने मा का दूध पिके,
इस धरती पर चल रहे है ।
इनका एगो ना हर्ट हो जाए बस,
क्यूंकि फिर यह एसिड फेक,
डर और जोश दिखा रहे ।
अभी भी हम शांत रहेंगे ?
भाई तुम गलतफहमी में जी रहे ।

"क्या माल लग रही है यार वोह " यह बोलने में तू नई कतराया,
पर तेरे बहन को बोला गया तब तेरी केसे गान्ड फट गई और तू सिर चड गया ? वोह तूने नहीं बताया ।
तेरी **** कितनी hard,
यह बताने में लाज़ याद नहीं आयी ?
अब periods पे बात आ रही है तो तेरेको घिन आ गई ?

इनकी नीयत हराम है ।
नज़रे नहीं संभालती,
ना शरम आ रही है ।
देश के केसे हाल है ?
जब ऐसे इंसान है ?

इनका दिल कठोर और,
दिमाग में गंध है ।
उसकी चीख में दर्द में,
क्या रेप के पीछे एक सच्चा मर्द है ?
उसके कपड़ों में तकलीफ नहीं,
पर इनके दिमाग में खोट है ।
क्या सच में इन लोगो की इतनी गिरी हुई सोच है ?

खुदको राजा समझते है,
पर इनमें कुछ दम नहीं है ।
नामर्द है और धरती पे इसी का काम काज नहीं है ।
जीने के भी हकदार नहीं यह, टांगो न सालो को,
किस बात का डर है ?
आज फिरसे एक नन्ही परी की जान पे बात आई है,
और तुम्हे बस इस बात का खेद है ?

कोई एक्शन नहीं लेगा,
आवाज़ नहीं उठाएगा तो,
रोज एक रेपिस्ट जन्म लेगा ।
एक कदम बढ़ेगा और रेप होगा,
फिर कोन ज़िमेदार होगा ?

I say I'm fine ,
but I'm going insane .
I say I feel good ,
but I'm in pain .
I say it's nothing ,
but it's really a lot .
I  say I'm okay ,
but I'm **** not .
I want help ,
but don't ask me how I actually feel .
I'm hurt and this wound can't be healed .
I don't know what's wrong !
But I know that ,
these thoughts are very deep !
No one feels this way ,
and if I do ,
my feelings aren't valid .
Tell me what can I do if I feel so stupid ?

Dear mom and dad ,
this is your daughter .
I wanted to say sorry ,
for acting rude sometimes .
I wish I could tell you ,
how hard things have been from a while .
I promise to try my best all the time ,
but can you just stop getting disappointed by my actions ?
Because you really need to admit that ,
your daughter is just a mess .
You deserve a better daughter than me ,
because you guys are amazing .
I feel like I'm a ******* ,
wasting your money and time .
I don't know if I could ever pay back everything you've done for me ,
yes ! yo treated me like a princess ,
but I'm sorry ,
I've lost my crown !

Today, I choose bright blue sky,
over the sleepless dark nights.
Smile over tears.
Staying alone over fake people.
Simplicity over extraordinary.
Self-respect over attitude.
Satisfaction over guilts.
Happiness over people's opinions.
Today,
I decide to write my own story,
over all these judgements and expectations.
Today,
I decide to search for my purpose,
to search what I was made for
Today,
I choose life !
I know I'm getting a lot of hate,
to do things in this way.
Ii know this path seems dark and hard,
but if needed,
I'll become the light !
And, I' promise, I'll come back,
shining even more bright.

So , I noticed this guy ,
while coming back from school .
I think I've a crush on him ,
he's kinda cute !

I hope he's more brave than me ,
we can become friends maybe .
I searched for him everywhere ,
instagram , snapchat ,twitter and facebook .
But what's his name ?
Should I go and talk to him ?
um..no ! lame .

But what if he's waiting for me to talk to him ,
and I'm waiting for him to talk to me ?

Let's do this now !
Let's practice some lines to start a conversation .
Suddenly a notification appears on my phone ,
and , oh my god !
This guy texted me saying "hi" !

The butterflies in my stomach ,
fear in my head ,
and redness on my cheeks.

Conversations started ,
we talked for minutes ,
then hours ,
and then , all day long ,
texting , snapping ,every ******* thing .

Not just a friend but he became someone special to me.
And somewhere , we started feeling same things .
Because texts changed from "nothing much" to "thinking about you",
and , ''wassup" to "open the gate,I'm coming to pick you".

Things changed even more between us ,
I don't feel shy but ,
comfortable around him .
These vibes are keeping me alive .

He calls me "babygirl" when I'm sick ,
and , I don't know why he things that he's just a ******* .

He's the most caring person ,
I ever came across !
He's not like everyone else ,
and this , melts my heart .

Life's hard ,
but he held my hand tight in good and bad times .
I slapped him ,
he kissed me ,
and that's when I knew ,
he's the only one for me .

This is to that stranger,
I've loved the most.
We still cross paths,
but it's just not the same.
I hope you're doing okay.
I'll always pray for you,
regardless of the things,
that have changed.
You left,
but memories will always stay.
I gave you my heart in love,
but I don't understand why you returned it to me into pieces.

Remember when I said that,
I'll always be there for you ?
Yeah, I meant it.
So, you can still come to me,
and expect me to act gentle.
No harsh feelings, no hate.
Well ! I don't wanna bother you with my words or my presence.
Anyways, take care.

Both of them missed, cried and talked about each-other to the moon.
Love failed in the eyes of the world that day,
but moon knew they were meant to be.
Because only the moon,
witnessed both side of the story.
And all the love they'd in their in their hearts for each other.

No matter how hard you try,
you'll never become a perfect person for a wrong guy.
You'll meet so many people before you find that one,
maybe not your true love,
but just an attraction.
You may feel like a person is going to stay in your life forever,
but it's not true,
for all the times.
Just wrong timing,
may make you feel so,
for a while.
Don't force your feelings,
also not someone else"s.
You won't have to fight or be confused,
when it's real.
You'll just know,
and feel that special connection.
It won't ask for ****** interaction,
it will just make every bit of your body jump,
with their eyes.
True love will never make you think your decisions twice,
it will just happen and you'll realize,
when you find the right guy.
Just don't pressurize yourself,
and give yourself time.

Sitting in my home all the day,
and going on the terrace is the only fun thing to do.
Yes, I'm an introvert and I don't want this to be over.
I was tired of tired of "a new day with same activities" anyways.
All of the pain I felt ?
Where did it go ?
It just got vanished away ?
I'm beery but what if all of the ache comes back when this is over ?
What if everything gets back to normal ?
And I'll have no time for myself,
in my schedule.

Sometimes, somethings happen in your life,
and it just **s up everything.
You hit the rock bottom,
and feel like, you should die.

Something happened to me and it still haunts me.
The day of february seventeenth.

I put on my perfect black dress,
with my favourite red lipstick.
Loved myself more because I'd someone like him.
In the case of love,
he always seemed a perfectionist.

He arranged a beautiful date,
everything went well till he took me to room no. one hundred and sixteen.
We sat in that room,
and we got a little close,
and started feeling each other's body.
He threw me on the bed,
and it was all really romantic.

But then, I noticed lust in his actions,
and asked him to stop because it wasn't easy to adjust.
But guess who didn't listen to me for the first time ?
How could he not respect my decision ?
Overall, it was my body he was doing things to.

We were so deeply in love,
but when did he change to someone so rude ?
I was forced.
I tried to flee,
as I couldn't bear that pain.
The pain of losing love,
the pain of losing my virginity,
to who I thought, was right.

He was so irate that he left me laone,
I lied their wondering,
where did it all go wrong ?
I never saw him after that,
and I didn't even want to.

So, this was my worst night,
and it still gives me nightmares.
It feels like,
he's inside me.
His touch,
have poisoned me.
But then,
life changed and I decided not to abort you.
And choosed to give you a beautiful life.
You don't deserve to be punished for the mistakes your mother made,
at her young age.

Tired of this everyday *,
oh god ! Get me a life to live.
This feels like a rat race.
I don't even wanna fight to win.

Giving up but ugh I can't !
Jeopardizing my future,
just going away from my happiness,
where the * is this path going to take me ?

Not wanting to get out of my bed,
not on week days but also not on weekends.
But still doing what's destroying me,
because this is how life's supposed to be.

There's a reason behind all this,
not my real purpose,
not what I dreamed of,
but something really close to it.

Living with a hope that it's all worth it,
even tho it makes me feel like I'm dying.
I'm just ** it all up by taking bad decisions,
there's no going back.

Either live with what you've created,
or live with a regret that you didn't create what you thought you deserved.
Currently laughing at myself for being a fool,
what about you ?

Relationship with him wasn't fun anymore .
I wonder when , why and where did it all go .
So many questions and he's not here to answer anymore .
"What happened exactly?"
His voice stopped exciting me ,
seeing him didn't make my heart skip a beat ,
he didn't make me happy like he did before ,
that smile I passed right from my heart when I looked at him ,
I don't do that anymore and now ,
here I'm faking smiles to the people I don't even know .
And sadly,
I realized that ,
there are no feelings left to feel .
I ended it but why ?
No one to make me feel fine and hold me tight .
Should I go back to him ?
Nah ! I'm just hurting ,
his heart and my feelings .
I knew I'm a mess ,
and couldn't hold onto relationships .
Maybe he just gave up too ,
because the future of "us" wasn't clear to him .
What's wrong with me ?
My heart ?
It's just a piece of flesh .
Just another part of my body but it have a beat .
A beat that have a rhythm ,
and speaks that :
if I'd the courage to quit ,
maybe we can heal,fight against my stupidities .
By making efforts ,
to get through this .

Feminism : " the belief that women should have same rights and opportunities as men " and not, "demoralizing other men in the society".
Equality is "situation in which everyone has the same rights and advantages" and not "the situation in which you put men down, just to get what you want".
Are you wondering why am I explaining these meanings of the words, that you hear everyday ?
I'm doing so because a lot of people don't get the concept properly but have a habit of talking ** and choose to practice fake feminism.
Now, what feminism is ?
Basically, an act of teaching what you don't even preach.
You can identify the people who follow this,
By looking at the people around you and noticing how they act different at different places and still manage to handle situations with ease,
Because they're fake feminists.

Who are feminists ?
People who support the act of feminism.
Someone who supports everyone out there and think before they speak about anyone's gender or sexuality.
Someone who fights for the rights,
Regardless of all the struggle and what they'll get because they're doing so, for everyone.
Someone who don't want attention,
Or your sympathy.
Someone who stands for females,
Not just in front of camera or when someone's watching,
But also, when noone's around to see.
Someone who are educated enough to believe that there's nothing wrong with women getting equality in every field.

There are people in the society who think that a girl shouldn't speak loudly because it's not good,
But what about the men of the same house who keep shouting, even when they're just talking.
People who don't want a daughter in law who have had relationships with someone else before,
Well ! What about your son playing Bangkok games ?
People who **** a girl child before she starts dreaming or before she's even welcomed on this Earth,
So what are you doing now ? Family planning ? Okay now, I see why you've 7 kids in your house.
People who think that girls should cover their bodies, And "Free the ******" is a topic of shame,
But what about those men who shows off their penises even when someone's not interested ?
People who think that girls can't have dreams and can't work, because they're physically weak and wasting all their money on their son is worth it.
People who think that girls are just a curse and shouldn't be given equal rights because they can't handle it,
Okay so what about your mom ? You think she's a superhero, right? But at the same time, you're just disrespecting all the females, including your mom, by thinking like this

Do you know why women don't get equal opportunities ?
Because people think they're weak and dumb.
And some of the people who support this kinda thinking,
Aren't even aware of the reason why they believe in this, so, who's smarter ?
Go to any classroom and you'll find a girl in the topper's list,
But why do men still have more seats in the election ?
Why can't we just choose the one who deserves to performs the duty ?
People think that women belong in the kitchen, well ! Just give them the power and you'll get to see.

I don't get it, why do we've to fight for our rights ? Why can't we just be treated equally?just because of people's sick mentality ?
It's sad how people think that,
Giving a girl what she wants is inversely proportional to their reputation in the society.
If god has made these different genders, with its own significance,
There's a reason !
Respect each and every person you meet, without thinking if they've ****** or a ****.
This fight is for standing together and not against, forward or backward.
I guess you all just misunderstood this whole act of feminism.

Why is it so hard to accept that it's okay to appreciate every opinion ?
It's not that hard to grow and glow together instead of pushing each other down and ykw ? It's better because we'll have more power and more ideas to share.
Don't judge someone or tell them what they should be doing after stepping out of their houses in order to be masculine or feminine.
Can't we just be who we're, No matter what we're doing ?
Can't we all just live together and support each other and not care about our genders ?
Can't we all just get over this concept of feminism by enjoying equal advantages together ?

I've days when I hold back my tears,
because I've to.
I've to act like I'm fine,
even when I don't want to.
I wish I could live my life,
in the ways I've always wanted to.
But sadly,
life ***** and I still try to find reasons to feel okay.
But I don't even know if I'm in my body anymore.
I'm out of my mind.
This world is spinning,
and in simple words,
I'm dying.
I'm aware that I've lost myself again.
But it's hard to accept that how my first thought in morning is,
I wish I was dead.

I used to cry over my grades.
As the pressure was too much,
And it was affecting my mental health.
So, I started writing to escape.
But now,
The things that broke me,
Words that killed me,
Actions that made me simp,
All of that,
Have changed with time.
Now,
I just laugh when I fail.
Because I know my worth,
My plans.
I know that I'll make my upcoming days better than today.

Just another wednesday morning,
going to school, with that same backpack,
and wearing the uniform that I hate,
along with that fake face again.

Witnessing so many stories,
along with these tails.
Realizing that I'm lowkey, living in vain.

Going to the bus stop alone,
realizing no one will ever walk with me,
in this life's journey.

Sitting in that bus,
full of people,
and I see a story in everybody.
But nobody else really like that.
So, maybe it's just me,
making up characters in my head.

Walking in the school,
with so many artists around me.
They're here to make their dreams,
their reality.
But am I doing right to myself ?
Because I feel like I don't even belong here,
I feel like I should quit.

They say "the sun shines bright today",
but they don't know what it's like,
to not to be okay any day.

They try making us understand that how precious time is,
but they don't understand that,
that's the only thing I'm regretting.
How do I tell them that I'm clueless,
how do I explain that all of this,
just don't feel right !
So, I'l just shut up,
because I don't wanna be annoying.

These kids, they talk about each-other,
and every other drama.
But I don't understand why no one talks about life, thoughts and dreams.

It feels like I'm just wasting my time,
and my bad manners are eating me up from inside.
I feel like I'm at a wrong place,
but I can't even escape.

I don't contemplate you as my friend,
because you do a lot of things which aren't acceptable.
But still, expect me to be fine with it.

Putting me on your insta stories or writing me paragraphs,
don't mean a thing,
if you really don't respect me.

Using me for attention and popularity only,
and sticking around me,
because you think I'm cool ?
Yeah ! that idea is absolutely *ty.

Are you even a good friend if you just talk * about me,
behind my back.
Because, bro ! what about loyalty ?

Telling people wrong things about me,
and judging my character,
when Ii told you something,
because I thought you were trustworthy !

Bringing me flowers when I'm sick,
but making fun of my insecurities.

Saying that you wanna make me feel loved but how ?
Because I can't see you doing anything effective,
but just hurting me because I don't expect you to be mean to me.

Using words to express that you care,
but what about actions ?
Well ! you don't even make me feel good in my bad times.
What's your point ?

Not supporting me with anything,
even when I always hype you up,
when you're about to do something terrible.
Because I know that you won't listen to my advices.

Coming to me,
only when you've no one,
is nothing but just selfieshness.
Because you were never there for me.

Hurting my feelings but still calling me your best friend,
as if I'm a backup plan or just "nobody" when you don't need me.

Your toxic traits,
are ** up my living because you're nothing but,
just someone like a trashing machine and,
one of the mistakes that I've made.
Because you're destroying a lot of things, with your toxicity.

I'm used to all this but it's all just so unhealthy,
that I can't even tolerate.
I wish I could unmeet you and,
remove everything we had.

Be a flower to the people as spines,
because only want you to shine.
They're not faking anything,
they're just trying to disguise.
Because they don't wanna bother you with their love in their heart for you.
They just have their ways to be affectionate.

I showed you my wounds when I was bleeding.
I showed you my scars when I was healing.
I kept wondering,
why is it taking so long ?
Not knowing, you're the one causing all this pain that I'm dealing with.

Can't really write about anything these days.
I'm wondering what's messing with my head.
No thoughts,
no expressions,
just numb to every emotion.
Dressing good to feel good,
but I'm sick of being in my own body,
or maybe this is just another stupid thought,
which isn't planning to go away.
I hate feeling this way,
I wanna let it all out and,
writing is the only way.
But I can't find the proper words to define,
what do I even say ?
I'm just waking up with,
"it's just another day".
No excitement and no hope,
and nothing is fun.
Why do I even feel this way these days ?

I was 7 when I saw this dream and it still frets me.
I'm trying to connect dots and figure things out till today.
It's been years and I still can't get it out of my head.
So, what's the deal ?
Is that dream a message or just another nightmare ?
I go to sleep,
closing my eyes,
and watching myself falling down the stairs every night.
All of this can't be "just a dream",
I'm not a kid, I'm a teen.
What if there's a story ?
What if I unknown to a mystery ?

बोहोत कुछ सीखा है मैने,
कुछ ज़िन्दगी है, मजबूरियां है ।
उसने गिराया, चलाया, भगाया, रुलाया,
और हम सीखते चले गए ।
ज़िंदगी के कई मोड़ पर,
खुद को अकेले भी पाया ।
भीड़ में भी अपनेपन का एहसास,
कोई ना करवा पाया ।
दर्द देखा, सेह लिया ।
बुरा लगा, संभाल लिया ।
को कितना साथ है, देख लिया ।
सच क्या है, मान लिया ।
मुश्किले है, सुलझाने का प्रण लिया ।
हार मानने से भी इंकार किया ।
बोहोत सिखाया मुझे ज़िन्दगी ने,
बोहोत गिराया है,
इसलिए बोहोत कुछ सीख लिया है मैने खुड्से ही ।
सीखना पड़ा ही, मजबूरियां थी ।
हार मानने का भी कभी इरादा नहीं,
क्यूंकि घर बैठी उस मां के इच्छाओं पर सवाल आया है ।
"कुछ कर दिखाना है सबको",
ऐसा नहीं सोचते अब ।
क्यूंकि काफी कुछ करते आए है,
आजतक किसने साथ निभाया है ?
दिखावे में अब हम मानते नहीं,
ना, वोह नहीं गवाया है ।
जो भी दिखाना है,
खुदको दिखाना है ।
जंग अब खुदसे है,
और आइने में खड़े उस इंसान को गर्व महसूस करवाना है ।

We all are lost,
and our real selves are hidden in some dark place.
Maybe we don't wanna be found,
or maybe it's just because of the environment around.
Just wanna get away from everything because something feels wrong.
Even tho it's something you've always wanted ?
The life of your dreams ?
Still not satisfied.
There are no good times honestly.
Life's more like a dark room,
which gets lightened up only in the daytime.
Or like, that one favorite fruit of yours,
in the stinky plate of salad.
Or just black coloured piece of cloth,
in your big wardrobe.
Our lives are just series of bad moments,
with little happiness sprinkled on everything,
only if we notice.
Only if we enjoy everything with a smile.
No matter if it's a good thing,
or something that's going to turn into just another bad memory.

मेरे जज़्बात से वाकिफ मेरी कलम,
हमेशा मेरे सपनो को ही लिखती है ।
और मेरे सपनो का हिस्सा,
तुम भी हो ।
वैसे तो पत्तझड़ में गिरते पतो को कोन पूछता है ?
पर पता नहीं क्यू, में,
मेरा मन,
हमेशा तुमसे यह आशा करता है की,
बस तुम साथ देना ।

मंज़िल चाहे हो भी हो,
जैसी भी हो,
सफर बोहोत सुहाना होगा ।
जब मेरे हाथों में तुम्हारे हाथ,
तुम्हारी बाहों में मेरा बदन,
और दिल को इस बात की तस्सली की,
मेरे पास तुम्हारा साथ होगा ।
कुछ अासान नहीं होगा,
हर मोड़ पे तकलीफे होगी ।
एक पल में सब खो देने का डर तो होगा पर क्या फर्क पड़ता है ?
झेल लेंगे न,
क्यूंकि तुम्हारा साथ भी होगा ।


और अगर कठिन स्तिथि में तुम साथ हो,
तो अच्छे दिन भी जल्द ही आ जाएंगे ।
ज्यादा कुछ नहीं मांगा है,
क्यूंकि कठिनाईयां तो हर मोड़ पे है ।
में बस हर तकलीफ तुम्हारे साथ देखना चाहती हूं,
उससे लड़,
उससे बाहर आना चाहती हूं ।
हमेशा तुम्हारे साथ रहना चाहती हूं,
वोह हर लम्हा जब तक में यह पे हूं,
वोह तुम्हारे साथ जीना चाहती हूं ।

ज़िन्दगी है यह,
यहां कभी भी कुछ भी हो सकता है ।
एक कदम, एक गलती,
और सब खत्म हो सकता है,
पर शायद उस एक कदम से,
बोहोत कुछ बदल भी तो सकता है ।
आज जी रहे है,
कल शायद यहा सांस लेने को नहीं होंगे ।
इसलिए तुमसे पूछ रही हूं ।

जैसे भी रास्ते हो,
हर कदम में साथ दोगे ?
हर खुशी और गम में,
मेरे साथ रहोगे ?
तो क्या बोलते हो तुम ?
मेरे साथ जीना चाहोगे ?

Best friends ? No !
After what you did,
I'm sorry but our friendship isn't worth it.
I won't say that, I hate you,
because now, for me, you don't even exist.

You weren't hurt,
you were just jealous.
Your only intention for friendship with me was, getting people's attention.
I'm sorry to say this ex best friend,
but the truth is,
you always treated me like an option.

Now why are you acting like you can't live without me ?
Just because you realized that one cares about you like I did ?
I'm sorry ! But just don't come back to me,
because for me, you're already dead !

Why aren't you going to those people who were your happy place ?
And the ones who were your reason for smile ?
Where are your always changing boyfriends tonight ?
When tears don't stop coming out of your eyes.

Yes ! I was wrong !
Because I was just wasting my feelings, emotions, and time,
by thinking that you're always right.
I tried my best to make you feel good and happy by being the best friend of yours,
but maybe you were too busy with your stupid group of pretty girl.

I was always there for you in your hard times,
but you've no clue,
how many nights I spent crying in my bedroom.
I listened and also understood your moods,
when you didn't even speak !
But what happened to you that day ?
When I was screaming and explaining every little thing,
why didn't you understand me ?

It's okay if you miss me for a few days,
because you'll get new friends very soon.
But remember that, they'll never tell you what I told you.
You always try to be cool,
and end up being a fool.
Your friends, the cool ones.
they're your friends but only in front of you,
and they're your enemies at your back.
Don't forget that.

I was honest, I was loyal,
because you were my only friend.
And whenever Ii said that,
you're my best friend and my sister,
trust me, I meant that.

But now,
I'm honestly so done with your drama for attention.
This isn't what we call attitude,
but I've just raised my standards,
after I realized my true value.

Don't force me for doing anything or,
I'll **** your life up now.
Yes ! I'm moving on from a toxic friendship and,
leaving you like a choice.
I know you're gonna spread rumors,
and look all nice.

So, you better stay away from me,
because I don't see a point of giving any explanations or proofs.
Go find someone new !
But this time,
I'm not with you,
so no one is gonna save you from becoming a fool.

Just a maths class led to an incomplete story,
maybe they were just not meant to be.
They had so much in their mind,
but didn't say a word.
They can't bear this pain,
how do they even explain ?
As their feelings were never conveyed,
and now all they do is regret,
because they can't see any hope.
They didn't express.

"You don't sleep at nights ?
Are you sleep deprived ?
Who are you talking to ?
Binge watching ?
What's the matter inside your mind ?
I don't understand that why I've to clarify that,
it's not my phone that keep me up late at nights,
or someone special in my life.
Just my dreams,
makes me lose my sleep.
I always knew that I'm not gonna waste any of my time,
when I know what I've on my mind.
I knew that I needed to think about my happiness first,
because others come at second.
But even after all this,
I just feel like I'm trapped,
because people's opinions,
still effects my plans.
Even though,
I know that,
they don't make any sense.
I just don't understand,
how can I trust anyone ?
How to believe that,
they're my well wishers ?
Because they all seem so sketchy,
at different points of life.
What's this deal?
How do I decide ?
I hate being inefficient,
but I just can't see the truth, with my eyes.
Because everyone here,
is presenting painted lies.

Life may not be really good these days,
but this isn't the end of the world.
That means,
we've got time.
We can make things fine again.

Some of us are fighting with diseases,
some of us are mentally drained.
Someone is going through a heartbreak,
feeling like they're not enough.
And some are stuck in family affairs.

We all are fighting battles,
we don't talk about.
We all have faced situations,
no one knows about.
We all have stories,
we don't recite.

Let's find our mistakes,
and learn from it.
Let's face our fears,
and earn confidence from it.
Let's believe in ourselves,
and clear all the self doubts we've in our heads.

Things will be fine,
and we'll get our lives together someday.
We'll get through this and say,
"Yes ! It's my day ".

We all will smile,
which won't be fake.
We all will speak and pour our hearts out,
without feeling like it's embarrassing and inappropriate.
We all will be happy with our lives,
without complaining someday.

Maybe the time isn't perfect,
but we can make perfection happen.
By trying and giving our best in this life.
Because at some point of marvellous time,
we'll be fine,
we'll be utterly fine.