"You don't sleep at nights ?
Are you sleep deprived ?
Who are you talking to ?
Binge watching ?
What's the matter inside your mind ?
I don't understand that why I've to clarify that,
it's not my phone that keep me up late at nights,
or someone special in my life.
Just my dreams,
makes me lose my sleep.
I always knew that I'm not gonna waste any of my time,
when I know what I've on my mind.
I knew that I needed to think about my happiness first,
because others come at second.
But even after all this,
I just feel like I'm trapped,
because people's opinions,
still effects my plans.
Even though,
I know that,
they don't make any sense.
I just don't understand,
how can I trust anyone ?
How to believe that,
they're my well wishers ?
Because they all seem so sketchy,
at different points of life.
What's this deal?
How do I decide ?
I hate being inefficient,
but I just can't see the truth, with my eyes.
Because everyone here,
is presenting painted lies.

No matter how hard you try,
you'll never become a perfect person for a wrong guy.
You'll meet so many people before you find that one,
maybe not your true love,
but just an attraction.
You may feel like a person is going to stay in your life forever,
but it's not true,
for all the times.
Just wrong timing,
may make you feel so,
for a while.
Don't force your feelings,
also not someone else"s.
You won't have to fight or be confused,
when it's real.
You'll just know,
and feel that special connection.
It won't ask for ****** interaction,
it will just make every bit of your body jump,
with their eyes.
True love will never make you think your decisions twice,
it will just happen and you'll realize,
when you find the right guy.
Just don't pressurize yourself,
and give yourself time.

Do you ever just sit back and think that how crazy our lives are ?
Or is it just me ?
Do you ever think of how precious a moment is, when you're actually enjoying it to the fullest ?
Or i it just me ?

I hope I'm not not the only one who gets hit by this wave of sadness from nowhere,
when I was doing fine two minutes before.
I hope you don't think of me as a stupid person,
just because everyone else thinks so.

Sometimes, I just feel like getting my life together at midnight,
but next day, I'll just be waking up with a sad face.
Sometimes, I can't stop myself from crying and just cry myself more to stop,
and on some days,
I'll try to let it all out with tears,
but my eyes will remain dry,
and the pressure in my head, just increases by.

Overthinking about what could happen or what would have happen because of that one thing,
but not having energy in my body to make things right,
or to bring my life back on track or to bring any peace.

I don't know how to feel, express or even talk about it.
I can't define this feeling in words,
but it's with me, all the time.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm numb,
but I do also feel crazy when my different 69 moods hits me, all at once.

Is this how all of this is supposed to be ?
This is how life goes ?
Or is it just my life.
which is messy ?

"Have you lost your brain?" is the only question they ask me most of the times.
"Yeah, i guess.But what am I supposed to do now?"is my only reply.
"You're just overreacting", they said.
And then, I just told my heart that,
maybe my feelings aren't valid.

After all of this,
I just became really silent.
I think a lot in my head but,
I'm not the same anymore.
Now, they ask me,"what's wrong?" and Ii replied
"You asked me to shut the ** up indirectly.So, thank you.I just haven't really felt anything since then."

Just another wednesday morning,
going to school, with that same backpack,
and wearing the uniform that I hate,
along with that fake face again.

Witnessing so many stories,
along with these tails.
Realizing that I'm lowkey, living in vain.

Going to the bus stop alone,
realizing no one will ever walk with me,
in this life's journey.

Sitting in that bus,
full of people,
and I see a story in everybody.
But nobody else really like that.
So, maybe it's just me,
making up characters in my head.

Walking in the school,
with so many artists around me.
They're here to make their dreams,
their reality.
But am I doing right to myself ?
Because I feel like I don't even belong here,
I feel like I should quit.

They say "the sun shines bright today",
but they don't know what it's like,
to not to be okay any day.

They try making us understand that how precious time is,
but they don't understand that,
that's the only thing I'm regretting.
How do I tell them that I'm clueless,
how do I explain that all of this,
just don't feel right !
So, I'l just shut up,
because I don't wanna be annoying.

These kids, they talk about each-other,
and every other drama.
But I don't understand why no one talks about life, thoughts and dreams.

It feels like I'm just wasting my time,
and my bad manners are eating me up from inside.
I feel like I'm at a wrong place,
but I can't even escape.

I used to cry over my grades.
As the pressure was too much,
And it was affecting my mental health.
So, I started writing to escape.
But now,
The things that broke me,
Words that killed me,
Actions that made me simp,
All of that,
Have changed with time.
Now,
I just laugh when I fail.
Because I know my worth,
My plans.
I know that I'll make my upcoming days better than today.

How do I explain that healing can be beautiful too ?
When for me,
it was just pain and,
now,
my heart is so cold that,
it feels like I've ice in my veins.

I've been through so much,
and now,
I'm just numb.
I try to cry,
but I can't.

I think something is wrong with my mind and my body.
My heart ?
It's not there,
there's nothing like feelings in it,
but it's just a piece of flesh as a part of my body.

I don't even know how I'm surviving,
I've no plans and,
I'm just dying a little more everyday.
Did I ever heal or am I just stuck in that phase and,
now, I'm so comfortable with my pain that,
I can't even recognize my real self.

I showed you my wounds when I was bleeding.
I showed you my scars when I was healing.
I kept wondering,
why is it taking so long ?
Not knowing, you're the one causing all this pain that I'm dealing with.