What if I'm drowning into my own tears ?
What if I'm just ignoring my feelings ?
I wish medicines could heal the damage you've gave.
Would you even care if I die today ?
I honestly feel like,
you never did,
so yeah ! It's okay.

I'm addicted to you and you're a drug to me,
I wish I could get over you,
but I don't see it happening.
You treated me like a cigarette,
and threw me away after making yourself feel good,
but what about me now ?
My love was true,
and I still have got feelings for you,
I don't regret falling for you,
because for a moment, everything felt perfect.
That touch of you,
the way you looked at me,
and those texts of you everyday.
All of it, I loved it.

I thought you'll be a definition of forever for me,
but guess who stated losing feelings,
in three months or just two ?
I don't understand why I couldn't see that it didn't even really mean a thing to you.
I was so in love with you,
and I hope you knew about this.
But if you did,
then why didn't you understand ?
Why did you leave me hanging like this ?

I gave a lot of me to you,
in the phase where,
I was in love with you.
I still am,
but it just don't matter anymore.
It would have been absolutely fine,
all of this,
if you told me that it's just not the same.
I would have just walked away,
rather than walking with you.
I would have just cried on my pillow,
rather than leaning on your shoulder.

When I was with you,
I never knew that all of this,
will vanish away from my life one day.
I didn't knew that my dream of being forever with you,
will be snatched away from my life that way.
I could have made it alone if you rejected me,
but how do I deal with all of this now ?
Because I've got memories with you,
I've lived the most special moments of my life, with you,
something that I can never forget.

Now, I'm stuck.
I don't know how to react to all of this.
So, I'll just write about all this,
all of my pain, in my poetry.
And try to let you go,
and keep you alive only in my words and not in my mind.

I sit in a really dark room,
With no sounds around.
I let my thoughts take over me,
And crush me down.
Because everytime I fall down while feeling weak,
I get up with a new energy.
I sit in this room's corner,
Crying and sobbing,
From nothing to everything.
I can hear myself breathing heavily,
And demons in my head, talking to me.
My head hurts a lot because there's a lot going on in it right now,
But I just feel numb in the other second.
What's happening to me ?
How do I escape from all this ?
The only thing that comes into my mind,
Is to pick my pen up and a piece of paper,
And write.
This blank paper looks more like,
Amazing opportunities to me.
My pen's ink is black and dark,
And so are my thoughts.
Let's see what can I write to feel a little relieved.
Do I really need to think about why I always end up writing about sad things ?

Best friends ? No !
After what you did,
I'm sorry but our friendship isn't worth it.
I won't say that, I hate you,
because now, for me, you don't even exist.

You weren't hurt,
you were just jealous.
Your only intention for friendship with me was, getting people's attention.
I'm sorry to say this ex best friend,
but the truth is,
you always treated me like an option.

Now why are you acting like you can't live without me ?
Just because you realized that one cares about you like I did ?
I'm sorry ! But just don't come back to me,
because for me, you're already dead !

Why aren't you going to those people who were your happy place ?
And the ones who were your reason for smile ?
Where are your always changing boyfriends tonight ?
When tears don't stop coming out of your eyes.

Yes ! I was wrong !
Because I was just wasting my feelings, emotions, and time,
by thinking that you're always right.
I tried my best to make you feel good and happy by being the best friend of yours,
but maybe you were too busy with your stupid group of pretty girl.

I was always there for you in your hard times,
but you've no clue,
how many nights I spent crying in my bedroom.
I listened and also understood your moods,
when you didn't even speak !
But what happened to you that day ?
When I was screaming and explaining every little thing,
why didn't you understand me ?

It's okay if you miss me for a few days,
because you'll get new friends very soon.
But remember that, they'll never tell you what I told you.
You always try to be cool,
and end up being a fool.
Your friends, the cool ones.
they're your friends but only in front of you,
and they're your enemies at your back.
Don't forget that.

I was honest, I was loyal,
because you were my only friend.
And whenever Ii said that,
you're my best friend and my sister,
trust me, I meant that.

But now,
I'm honestly so done with your drama for attention.
This isn't what we call attitude,
but I've just raised my standards,
after I realized my true value.

Don't force me for doing anything or,
I'll **** your life up now.
Yes ! I'm moving on from a toxic friendship and,
leaving you like a choice.
I know you're gonna spread rumors,
and look all nice.

So, you better stay away from me,
because I don't see a point of giving any explanations or proofs.
Go find someone new !
But this time,
I'm not with you,
so no one is gonna save you from becoming a fool.

Just because I act fine,
doesn't mean I'm happy.
Stop fooling yourself my dear society !
I'm tired of pretending everything I'm not,
I've no shoulder to lean on.

Locking myself, trying to cry,
but today, the tears just don't come out of my eyes.
I don't know why ?
Maybe because I'm used to it ?

Staring at my room's wall blindly,
and I can feel my heart getting into pieces,
and no hope to pick and fix it.
I wish I could scream, but I'm helpless.
I'm not sad but,
angry on myself for feeling this way.

Hurting myself but,
hiding my scars by wearing long sleeves n hoodies and jackets.
It's not that no one asked me if I was okay,
but the truth is that,
no one really cared.
No one really wanted to know what's going on with me everyday.

And this situation forced me to pretend things in front of everyone.
Can anyone just teach me how to express these feelings into words ?
Because deep down,
this rough phase of life hurts !

I hold your hand to feel safe,
but you make me feel trapped.
I don't know why you stalk me all the time,
but act like a good guy.

It feels like you are just wrapping your over possessive behaviour,
by calling yourself protective.
I am sorry but I feel like you are acting totally fake,
because whatever you do,
makes you look like a detective.

You know what ?
because of you,
I started questioning my own existence.
"Why am I like this ?"
"Why am I a girl ?"

You can provide me everything,
but you can't buy love and affection,
from my heart for you.
Because you never set me free.
I wish you understood the fact that,
"A golden cage is still just a cage."

I think now this is my turn,
this is the time to turn the page.
Before you come at me,
look at yourself first.
I think you should just mind your own business and stop interferring in mine.

Why do you always get mad at me when I do things in my way ?
Why would I fit ?
If I was born to standout !
You're no one to decide for me,
that what is right and what is wrong.

This is my life,
and I am my own queen.
I have right on my life,
because you don't own me.
Yes I'm getting up to fight for my rights.
As a girl, I'll step up and take pride.
No ! I won't listen to you this time,
just do me a favour,
and leave me alone.
Go get a life you a

From strangers to friends,
Then, friends to something more,
And then, both of us just started to ignore.
as you shifted from frequently contacted to block list in my phone,
and everything we had between us,
just got vanished !

And now it's sad how we have nothing between us anymore.
I am seriously scared to catch feelings anymore !
I don't know if I am good enough for you.
Maybe you deserve someone better,
and not a mess like me.

No matter how hard I try,
memories play in my head on repeat.
I try to forget you,
but a part of me,
just don't let you go.
Youu moved on and I'm still standing here,
waiting for you to look back and say,
"are you ok my love ?"

Yes I was the one who ended it !
Because I was mad at myself,
and not at you.
Yes ! I miss you and I still love you.
But when you will come in front of me,
I'll just act like I am better off without you,
And I don't need you.

But it's really not true,
but I'll act so.
Because I accept that,
Whatever happened can't be undone.
So I'll take it as a lesson,
because you can't be forgave the forgot.