I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed'and gazed'but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Honey of the autumn moon
where in sweetest nectar
Flows
Golden on the ivy leaves
Through all of Eden's
Garden shows
A bud on stem
Reaching high
Content to wait among
vanilla stars  
And chocolate skys
In dew wet grass
Gazing a lover's eyes
A minted bath of
Sky ice cream
Looks like she
Must taste
Serene

My friend and I talk about it
Neighborhood got decimated this year
One after another the corners of community are gone
We touch the elder memories
as one might touch a head in blessing
as loved ones pass

We linger longest over John

Found dead after ten hot days
by other-worldly hazmat crew
flanked by cruisers
with their special, yellow truck
and zipper bags

...found 'im
glasses folded neatly on the night stand
in his jammies
all tucked into bed

No one thought it strange
that strange young guy would die
already decomposing in his head
Lost
among his personal effects
his fleet of rusting cars
and half-assed projects
Deck tacked to garage
his herds of “pets”

Easy to pretend he wasn't really there
between jail stints or some imagined threat or theft
of crap
haunted by the shadows of his persecutors
caught in motion lights
and cameras' blinding evidence of
jungle-jumble and malfunctioning alarms
going off in the wind
Everyone's out to get his stuff
We could dismiss him--

mostly
sorta

...except for times
he mowed his grass at night
or hand-built “the lunatic tower”
just for mom
from scavenged scraps and
hammered hours
power-sawed
through the housing codes
and horror
of the neighbors...
...Such a special spectacle...

******* crazy-- John!

He was enough for one day at a time
like when

he flung that threatening bolder
on bilco doors
for percussive effect

"Get off my ******' property!”
(not using his “inside voice")
“Next time, that'll be your head!!

He announces his intent
to not get mad, behave himself
to call the cops on me instead
Fake-dialing
While his mother screams in dread
“John is off his meds!”

My phone is set to speed dial
911
__

“How did we miss this?
How did we not miss him those quiet days?”

How we miss him now
How quiet

Bad dreams?
Not good to lay around eyes closed.
Seems I dream for you.
We'll  be together forever.
One day.
It's almost been a year.
Soon.
I promise.
I left for work
A full pack of pall malls
In my back pocket.
Why?   I've worked my *** off
For a year.
Five dollars is all I got.
Can I borrow?
There is a wall it seems.
I can barely hear you.
I'm tempted to smash my head
Against it or ******* tear my shirt
Off bash the next ******* smile of
Contentment into oblivion.
Whoa.
Idiot.
Calm. Slow.
Breathe.
What would that accomplish
In any positive way?
******* shut the hell up!
Stop this wheel this perpetual
treadmill.
******* all the people why do they seem to be making headway.
Oh. Hi.
The cashier said $4.25 sir.
Hi. 2 bananas a dollar each and a coke
A pecan spin. My CPA brain **** calculated
Like that's halfway to 9
Of my pay.
Still got lunch to buy.
Gas
I'm not even breaking even.
Guy behind me in line
Look on his face
Like I was too slow
In his way, I wanted to flatten him.
No. Can't be going around flailing
Just because you've managed to **** your life up royally all those nights
flashing Benjamin's like you some made guy. The times you did make money.
Gaming. Trying to dream.
I dream for you.
And so it goes.
Dreams reality life
A lifer at the wheel.
Heard a story once
Think it was by some Greek
About a rock and a hill.
I relate.

I WHISPERED, "I am too young,"
And then, "I am old enough";
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
"Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair."
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

They are everywhere
Those ghosts the zephyrs
The battery of flashes
Those pauses in between breaths.

The spaces filled with memories
Pictures of time frozen for eternity
In my mind in my life
Signs that I have been

Existence as a conglomeration
As if a family album
Were spread before me
Time turning pages.

Frozen like a pond now
I kneel wiping snow
To view. Crystals cold float down
Upon this scene obscuring

Blurry times horizon.
There  go I
Just a pitiable  fool
On old knees through

The dreams  a page a
Time focusing trying to find
Some truth. And like
A miser keeping them

These visions happy or
Horrible sad or climactic
From falling off
Onto the icy pond

I'm kneeling on
Worshipping.

Trust me,
   I am weaker than
A lowly earthworm.
      By my belly
I ******
    Forward
       Squirm.
When the rains
    Pour down
          I come out
             On the sidewalk
                 And get stepped on.
My kin my destiny
     I lie smashed
            With under heel
                Under boot.
Do not cut me
     No I will only be two
             And die eventually
Wriggling  into minced agony
      Twice.