I sit
still
it's after four in the afternoon
of course, I do

like the sun do
in the after noon still just hovers
barely movable
a big hot orb tired

in the sky, on a stoop
like me, the sun is
tired of

all this every day
work this sunshiny ****
this glow forever

stuff I just want to look into
the sun's face and say
and have her

burn a smile my way,
I know dearest
shine as

long as forever
in my mind
you will

imagine how the rich elite feel
when their pools are spilled
by a wanton elephant
let loose in the backyard
that promised
health care reform and  a
huge big wall
to be built post haste that
might have kept the
mastodon
from
falling into the
cement pond
in the first place
hilarity
did you vote for
Hillary??

I can't be without two Aleve
before the alcohol
and the poetry

just need a certain relief
that ibuprofen
has worn off

and the aspirin that's like
candy
I would need to take ten

to listen to my head
and all these visions
words and spinning

rounds
the aching dreams the unsatisfied
sounds

of the best music the
wounded calls
of all of society

that drowns me
nightly

my heart so enclosed
it seems in one of those
blister pack things that are
bulletproof
so hard to open you cut the hell out your fingers
or hand trying
to get into

My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such

So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip out

I'm now in the south of Florida
Where some may call me a ***
Living in a citrus grove along the coast
Not answering to anyone

It's really not such a bad life
This do nothing life I've made
I hear Moms proud of me at afternoon tea
Telling the girls of all the lives I save

I do my share of dumpster diving
That's where I got the idea
Behind a real doctors office one day
With some of their stationary I nabbed

I did a little doctoring
After all I do play one in Moms mind
Doesn't look too lame where I inserted my name
Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife

I've created such an elaborate charade
It's now gotten all out of hand
As I panhandle my way up and down
The Sunshine states surf and sand

Mom now says she wants to visit
Can't wait to meet the wife and kids
Don't know how I let it get this crazy
And how it all lead up to this

Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman
With a couple of kids that look just like me
That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June
Since I told her that's when  I'd be free

I'm thinking I should of studied in college
Instead of being this mind numbing huckster
Telling lie after deepening lie
Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor

so what hides this night from the daily rhetoric or charges up the stars
like fireflies on LSD
and I must ask what difference of any lasting way
can my full hearted
brevity  or words saluting the sky make
but in all, I must make them
I feel it as a duty,
a charging Knight on a pen steed
with blank paper white
as my date
on a full dark deep
star studded anniversary of
the first time I wrote
back in third grade
a girl a note
and gave it to my friend to
give Joanne
my upper lip sweated for two days until I received a note back from her
that said walk me home please
with the most touching little heart
and xoxoxo  
as her signature