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Lexie Mar 2016
8.2
I will be okay
8.3
It is harder to breathe
8.6
My skin itches
8.9
My head hurts
9.2
I just...
9.5
Life.
9.6
Maybe
9.7
This is pretty bad
9.8
I'm done
9.9
Wait! Wait. Its okay

6.4
Tomorrow is coming
Tomorrow is almost here
5.4
Hey, think of the people who love you
4.9
I will see myself in the mirror tomorrow
Lexie May 2019
When you learn to live in the moment
I don't think you ever die
Lexie Oct 2016
Some darks
Are to deep
For even
The brightest of lights
Lexie Oct 2014
we are made to believe we have a disease


that doesn't exist

so break out of your shell

for all things are well

the fear doesn't even exist
Lexie Feb 2014
The town of trees on fire
Where the smoke rises higher
The road is broken
And we are all smokin'

No one dare take this risk
It just one more chance you missed
The town is burning
Tell me what you are learning

Everything you care for is gone
All I see is trails gone wrong
The bones are bleached from sun
But you hide from everyone

The town of trees is on fire
The forest rises higher
The mountains breathe dragon smoke
Just enough to let you choke

But the rivers flow the wrong way
This is a day to remember, today
The pictures in the clouds are lost
From the matches your carelessly toss

The trees are burning to the ground
The people not making a single sound
All you is skeleton keys
But it is blown away in the breeze

Be young now cause its almost over
And will continue to burn moreover
But the smoke clouds your vision
What is my reason for living

I give from the bottom of my soul
But the fire still took its toll
I just it go without choice
I was stopped by your voice

The town of trees is on fire
Watch the smoke as it rises higher
Lexie Oct 2020
I am not a good friend
Lexie Feb 2016
I begged for it
But once we were face to face
I couldn't handle it
Didn't want to realize
Give me the lies
Of the sweetest taste
Evict the truth
And fill its place
I submitted for a while
I bought it
Even like the taste
But all to soon
It was bitter
And reality was foul
Like smoke in my eyes
Left alone, in solitude
We were okay
But in a world
Filled with opposites
And attractions
You were not so appetizing
I followed you
Because you promised
To lead me home
But the place
That I was taken to
Was much to bright
For my darkened
perspective
Lexie Feb 2018
You have such a happy smile to carry such a sad heart
I have such a beautiful laugh to spend so much time drowning in depression
Lexie Apr 2014
I am the dark with no shadow
I am the evil on odd hallow
I am the winter storm, relentless
I am the beach of burning sand
I am the one that bites your hand

You strike my face

I am the one to strike you back
Just one choice and all is lost
Lexie Nov 2017
Though the darkness seems still
I can feel it ache
As it tries to consume me
To tear me away
From all that I have ever known
But to know something
And to belong to something
Are two completely different things
Yet still you remain a part of me

The pull is there
I feel it all through the night
And my heart can barely quiet it's rest
There is life in many things
But I seek for it in seldom
There is light in few things
Yet I look for it in you
And the hope that I cling to
Rests upon your shoulders
It is a gentle weight
Yet you feel it all the same

Like a magnet the night pulls
Oh how opposites attract
Still I try to turn my face to the sun
But my feet will not follow
I resist all that you are
Yet I love the sound of your voice
And I cannot help but ask
Where is my joy?
Where is my peace?
Admist all that I endure

I bear the weight of all this life
These scars weighed in pounds
The darkness screams
In many colors
And breaks apart all that is sound
Lexie Sep 2014
i am running in a tunnel
of dark black wind
and the end seems even blacker than the start
a black hole, a void
and nothing can keep us apart
Lexie Jul 2014
I am found
Yet
Feel a void
Like a lost breeze
With no
Direction
Lexie May 2014
Gentle body language
Unspoken rhythmic sounds
A breeze of sensation
Cold and refreshing
A face radiating warmth
A smooth touch on my cheek
Soft embrace of strong arms
Longing for...
Lexie Jun 2015
before the golden un-woken dawn
I stand measureless in time
the days unknown mysteries
in strands start to form
the un-dried dew in the grass rises
to create tendrils of life
the birds unanswered cry
sings forth into light
the uncapped ocean tides
reach for the mornings promise
in all the unviewed beauty
nothing is ever lost
in this undefiled moment
it doesn't come with a cost
Lexie Feb 2016
I feel it again...
... like I am drowning
Lexie Feb 2014
I watch you pace in front of your window

The way you move when you walk

The way you float above the ground

Like an angle when you fly

Like a butterfly in the sky
Lexie Jan 2014
The waters between.
The sky and earth.
The wind that races clouds.
Pushing pounding and burning.
Heat of sun on warm sand.
Nothing I cant handle nothing I cant stand.
Lexie Feb 2014
You say it at parting
You say it when bad things are starting
You say it when the sun sets
You speak it when you have seen nothing yet
You say it when you don't want it to be over
You breathe it when you cry and moreover
You say it to your dreams as they fly away
You say it to the ocean at the end of summers day
You breathe this parting to those you love
You speak it to the clouds above
You say it when the race is never finished
You say it when the tears have diminished
You say it for those who cannot
You speak it to the those who on pain you have wrought
You breathe it into the fields of home
You cry it out to those all alone
When you leave those you love
To find a new home above

Goodbye
Lexie May 2014
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
The day you walked away and all I did was cry
The emotions boiled over loaded
But this love was sugar coated
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
The words I knew from your lips were lies
And I felt inside like it was over
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
Lexie Jun 2021
i. you to explain your anger

ii. you to slip slivers of ice
between the stacking of my spine
so that when I shiver it feels like an icicle shattering

iii. my tongue to remember your name so well, but unable to speak it for fear that it would be a potent spell and conjure out of the air

iv. you to tell me I'm pretty as if I didn't not already know

v. you to hold the gold of my heart as the highest currency, a debt paid against myself with every act of true self or kindness

vi. you to linger here like the taste of licorice and tobacco
Lexie Feb 2014
dark thoughts oh so foreboding
mental images over loading
black seas with evil intent
troubled minds that need to vent
a race to the end of the line
a broken watch that still tells time
a contradiction within itself
a teddy bear sitting on a shelf
the man that waits around the corner
the girl who's tears label her as a mourner
the imposter we all came to trust
the lies so wet we all started to rust
the breeze that does not touches the leaves
the things we stole but blamed the thieves
legs that have no feet attached
dueling partners no one can match
the lost land with all our socks
the clocks that control our lives tick tock
the vile smells from our own history
the things we know but still call mystery
the key we need to believe
the air we want to be able to breathe
the right to write anything we want on paper
the poison we called a perfumed vapor
the reason we all need a savior
the children that were never taught proper behavior
the bold words spoke from weak hearts
the things so ugly but we still call them art
the trends that show on every face
the things that never found their place
the numbers we dialed over and over again
the words we wrote with pencil but erased with pen
the vacation to hells home
the trips you took all alone
the road that speak so much more than feet
the places we go the people we meet
Lexie Sep 2014
there once was an earthquake
across a red land
it split the surface in two
and the blood poured out
over the broken place
like tears lost in an ocean
was the hope of healing
Lexie Jan 2014
Fireflies
Raging rapids
Crack of dawn
Blatant night
Frozen stories
Childish cries

Lists of nonsense, or puzzle to solve?
Secrets, lies and people to involve.
Lexie Dec 2017
Still as I speak
She tears apart herself from within
Using her own hands
She prys apart all that she is
And in her mind
Such a battle is this

Make them cry.
Make then scream.
Let them produce a bucket of tears to add to the ocean that is her own.

Crazy.
Yes.
A mind that has to long wandered afar, aloof and alone; and been pushed through many things that should not be endured.

All at once she crumbles
And who cares for such a thing as rocks and ruin when they no longer are walls.
None.

So such is this, that she would die, to herself. For fear runs her over and she regresses into all that she has fought so long to be free from.

I have endured enough
For every battle I fight taxes me and I am spent
My pockets are empty and my mind much to full
So I relinquish to the night all that I am.
Lexie Nov 2014
I forget how not to be broken
The sun can't shine on my face
Because I am having staring contest
With the concrete I walk upon

I wear dark colors that reflect
The moody person underneath
So much makeup to cover up
The real stuff I don't want to show you

I don't want to be vulnerable
Just wanting to be safe
And alone with someone who
Actually knows how to care

Sick of all the tears
And the scars on flesh
Also on my broken bleeding
Heart, forget it

Forget how to feel
This pain is to much to bear
I guess this is my lot
It *****, but it is all I've got
Feel free to share your thought....
Lexie May 2014
a telepathic symphony drowning in waves of song
Lexie Mar 2016
I sewed myself up
so my secrets
would be kept inside
I sewed myself up
and all the threads tangled
so  I couldn't stay alive
Lexie Jun 2019
I sang softly under powdered sugar skies
To the man who only loved himself
I could not hold against you
Giving up guiding dreams
They will learn to find their own way
I am a pilgrim meant for wandering
My sleep no different, be I sinner or saint
My skin has saved the warmth of the sun
To lull you into slumber, cocoon you in affection
The sun cracking my skin as if she was dirt in the desert
Hollow me out, sinner in the canyon
Worship me in the shadows of the tallest rise
I thirst for you, in the valley of the sun
Let our flowers blossom, even when no water will quench their roots
Petals in a flower girl wind
Smell more ancient than salt in the sea
Petals joining sky, sand, and cactus spines
An earthen corpse
Sandy organs, a faint heartbeat drum
Dry air lungs, I hold my raspy breath
You sang John Mayer at seventy miles an hour
God made me sad, you made me cry
We withered up inside out, waiting to kiss in the rain
Lexie Aug 2018
Oh that the grey heavens would split open
Like a cavernous monster
And pour onto the earth
All her sorrows and pain
Lexie Feb 2019
I think I woke up today
Just to hate all the songs on the radio
Yet somehow
I remain
Neighbors with to the emotionless
Lexie Mar 2019
The sun found you first today
I will find you soon
Soon enough
Lexie Aug 2015
I do not care to say what has not been said
Are their any words of life left in this galaxy?

Merely existing to reiterate past emotions
And create new dreams written in tides of the ocean
To lay upon the sand, basking in the sun
So as the light fades each letter
They will rest in the embrace of the earth
Lexie Aug 2020
I hate admit it
But the balance of wisdom
Is off without your gentle touch
Lexie Sep 2017
The way things are, and
The way things were
Is not the way, that
Things will always be.
Lexie Jan 2014
The dimension of time
The constrains of the clock
Constantly going tick and tock

Birds in the sky
Life in air
But set a scale
That's always there
Lexie Dec 2018
We just set our clocks for the day
And hope that the nighttime
Doesn't drip right into our eyes
As quickly as the day is unwound
Lexie Sep 2014
Maybe underneath the crust of the earth
It's heart is beating
Not a clock
Lexie Jan 2021
There is only what we know as forward
Lexie Mar 2019
Bare naked to me the discomforts of your soul
And I will teach you, intimacy
Lexie Jan 2019
Patient
are the feet
of the already fallen leaves
Lexie Sep 2014
the point is the tip
    the sharp end that hurts
Lexie Dec 2019
Are we done now
Are we dead
I am waiting
To put down my head
Lexie Mar 2016
Sunrise
    Sunset
       What if?
          I never
               Get up
Lexie Oct 2017
Nothing is harder to force than the smile of someone who's trying and just doesn't feel like they're succeeding.
Lexie Jun 2021
You say sleep when we're dead
I'm tired now
Lexie Aug 2015
Is to die to yourself
Be born of a soul
Live in these words
And never be quite whole

Just an opportunity
To fill an expanse
Never pass it up
Take every chance
Lexie Jan 2018
I do remember
Feeling that way before
Still the tension rises
Like bread out in the sun
I simply cannot forget,
The depth of this ache
Like a tooth ready to pull

But this tatse
I turn it over in my mouth
I do not savor the flavor
But I cannot spit it out

It goes down easy
I wish it would catch in my throat
And as it settles in my belly
It's weight familiar in my stomach

She is not kind.
She is demanding.
She is not forgiving.
Not does she forget.

Time and time again we dance
My feet know the beat
Still I weary as the music rises
Like the sun over the skyline
But she has no awakening
For she does not sleep,
Or allow rest in her presence;
Which is a blessing in a curse
For sleep brings the depths of my mind to part of my heart that it hates most, while the weariness of my body is tested,
on and on she goes.

I do not break
But I bend and I bend
Over and over again
And the pain of the bend
Clears my mind
Oh I wish that she were clouded
Like the sky in a storm
Rain on, rain on
I seek no clarity in this
I am worn
I am stretched
I am almost spent
Only the change in my pockets remain

Still you have no empathy
And pity does me no good

Oh **Fear
that you would leave me

But I would hate to be alone

Oh Anxiety that you would abandon

This that you have made.
Lexie Sep 2015
I wished I could have watched you been made
As your maker formed your body

To gentle your curves and temper your soul
I love how he gave you such sharp edges
To keep you safe in this vengeful world

I wish I could have seen him stand
In awe of his beautiful masterpiece

To know you belong not to this body
But to the one who made, and who makes

The created out of the un-created
Into a beautiful ****** existence

You do not know this world
But I will show its vibrant colors

And as you grab you brush
So you can paint your soul into life
I will watch you dream into the ever-night

I want only to know who made you
Not to learn your keepers secrets

But to see the love of your design
And know you were the best moment in time

To see the hands that fashion the hands
Out of the dirt of this earth

Am I the only one who see's
You, in the light of your Maker's worth
Lexie Jun 2015
The committee in my head is trying to convince me that I can wash away my troubles like a bug on the windshield
Lexie Feb 2018
I'm pretty messed up
More than I let on
I don't understand why
I pretend to be okay
When I am everything else
My sorrows taste of salt
At the bottom of the barrel
And it is dark inside my mind
Darker than the night
I shut my mouth to scream
Trap it between my teeth
Swallow it back
Into my beating heart
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