I know I look
Like I carry
Nothing on my shoulders
But I like to think
Even Atlas gets used to
The weight of the sky

I am not afraid to close my eyes
It's just that
I'm scared when I do open them again
Maybe I will see something different
Something looking back at me

As I think
So I become

As I think
So I am

You would of wanted me
If you had needed something good in your life
You just wanted flowers with thorns
Because you were sold on the idea that roses were the most beautiful of flowers
You had never taken the time to smell sunflowers
Too busy plucking petals that can't even talk
She loves me
She loves me not
Crushing life with your hands
She loves me
She loves me not

You black iced bandit
Silver tip tongued liar
When you sleep
Do your bones rot
In the shadow of your sins
Does guilt not crush you
Runner
Fool
I have no hate
To send out into the world against you
You took my kindness as weakness
Now I do not even have regret
Maybe once, the earth said to the sky
Why do you hold all the stars
The moon chimed in against the night
Someone must hold them back
For we are not all made of light
I could of made you a believer
You had no faith in yourself
The person I poured my love into
Never existed
I am a giver
And you, a taker
A leaver
But you burn small
And I am the meaning of a dancing flame
You will drown in the waters
As my spirit passes over
Safely to other shores
I will say nothing
When my tears have dried
I will do nothing
When you raise your arms against me
Except pray
And the splitting of my lips
Is a curtain torn
Find me on the hill
When the suns goes down
For the third time
We do not say goodbye
Know the veil will thin again
I care not to play God
Only to hear his voice
Soft in the tops of the trees
Your ears deaf
To the cry of a good heart
Your calluses rough
To the work of gentle hands
Your feet burning
When you stand before the throne
The only one to claim you
Before the end
Is the earth
The most impartial of lovers
She too tells me
When I lay with her in the sun
The grass tickling my neck
Of the lesions you burned into her skin
Of chasms carved into her surface
By your bleeding hands
Yet, her and I
We know of healing
Our roots run deep
We do not fear the storm
And you will be ash in the wind

I water the dead flowers of our love
Maybe dying was given to us
So we could learn how to love

You were moss thoughts - growing on the trees
In my mind - just a garden of weeds

How does one
Unburden the body of sins

Such I have become
The Darkness
That which I feared most
She is warmer than I anticipated
Or maybe such a soul as mine has cooled
Between earth
And the dying of the stars
The heat lingers in my belly
But I do not feel it in this coffin skin
Sleep will come, and not to soon
Sleep will come, but not to late

Sleep is here, I am at the gate

Are you here in this moment with me
The dew in the grass does not know your name
But it remembers you

Love was was not enough for us
Now we must face the music

No one is comforting anymore

I wonder who taught me loving
I knew it before I knew your name
Now I cannot whisper it without
I hate loneliness
I love to be alone
Here I sit, and think of you
Ask me, if you know me
And I will do the same
Lay my hand, on your chest
Feel your heart beating
Through cotton skin
Your mysteries are new
To my ancient hands

We don't always keep friends
At the rate we change

Letting go is growth
My faith is not in the rising of the sun
But in those who love its light
Today's peace
An honest estament
To the heart's ability to heal
Existing here, sentient
While other minds
Hold space for my spirit
I am there also
I am with you
I am in the earth
The stars are in me
As is all chaos and peace
The world has ever known
My chest holds astroid craters
Transcendent seeds of the tree of life
Existing in many times at once
As myself, as a child
A satisfaction that will not be satiated
Wean me not of knowledge's cravings
All things flow through me
As I also am in all things
Is not your structure
Made of the iron in my bones
Your heart beating the same drum
To a different tune
Here we are calling up the sun
With the trumpet of unabashed power
Ageing with this day
In the morning I am new
Fresh as dew on grass
Knowing, this too shall pass

We can change nothing about yesterday
That is why we have tomorrow

Falling in love with pain
Is either an ending
Or beginning

There is sweetness
In the honeycomb caverns of my heart

I will never know your thoughts
And I take that as a gift
My thoughts are my own
And that is where I will dwell

I watched the glory of youth rippen
Meekly searching
For a young one
I thought I knew
I loved you then
Strange you seem to chasm eyes
Though no stronger
How fair
The lengthening of patience
And spine
Over the bridge, and with time
Plough through the fields
Of my doubting soul
The leaves of my midsummer mask
Crunch against the hand of time
Dawn has come
And I hasten to adore
The gentle glory of your awakening
Kindness and depths in your eyes
Deeper than before

Here we pass
Into the abyss
Not lovers, strangers, or friends
Unbound from selfish ties
Only one
Small inkling of humanity
You are broken again
I free
There is nothing
In the darkness
Only the faint shimmer
Of what once
Would soon be

It was the almost remorseful way you still held your hand around the hilt of the dagger that you stabbed into my back

I have a four count pulse
South, East, West, North
My head never travels in one direction Thoughts spinning around like the head of an owl
While my heart echos, who?
The quiet is never loud enough
To drown out the sea of thoughts binding themselves together like atoms
They weren't the first one's to bite the fruit
I am to far fallen from the tree
Tree of life, with roots deep enough to dig down to hell
I'm burning a fever of embarrassment
Embers I cannot cool no matter how hard I huff and I puff
In the end the wolf always eats me up
I sit silent, in his stomach, a fetal position of agony
As my sins digest me
Face to face with the inside of monster
I now know has a heart
Red and pumping
I grasp onto organs
Holding out hope for a breath of fresh air
From lungs I have never breathed before

Bury me shallow
Longing resurrect me
Bent on tasting you again
Soft lightyear kisses
Craving your indulgence
Warmth of forbidden eternity
In an eon of moments
I was careless with you yesterday
You will not fear that again
Forget doubt and pain
You are above them
Stratosphere of peace
Between you and I
Hold space for us
Before we too are dust

When you lie
With your silver tongue
You devalue yourself
We are human
We are worth honesty

Those above
And those below
Some stay
Some never go

.                   .
                   i t
               c o m e s
           a n d       g o e s
      i n                   w a v e s


who will d
                    r
                      o
                 ­       w
                           n
    
         who will be  s a v e d

                    o                 a   e
who will l     v   the  w   t   R
                    e


and who wil take her  p  l  a  c  e

I sang softly under powdered sugar skies
To the man who only loved himself
I could not hold against you
Giving up guiding dreams
They will learn to find their own way
I am a pilgrim meant for wandering
My sleep no different, be I sinner or saint
My skin has saved the warmth of the sun
To lull you into slumber, cocoon you in affection
The sun cracking my skin as if she was dirt in the desert
Hollow me out, sinner in the canyon
Worship me in the shadows of the tallest rise
I thirst for you, in the valley of the sun
Let our flowers blossom, even when no water will quench their roots
Petals in a flower girl wind
Smell more ancient than salt in the sea
Petals joining sky, sand, and cactus spines
An earthen corpse
Sandy organs, a faint heartbeat drum
Dry air lungs, I hold my raspy breath
You sang John Mayer at seventy miles an hour
God made me sad, you made me cry
We withered up inside out, waiting to kiss in the rain

White on black ink
Let it sink
In ****** skin
Life seeping out
Gold within
Hollow bones
Aching cold
Praying for
Hands to hold

Patient are leaves
Already fallen from the trees
Some cling to promises of the wind
Their trembling says much of oaken oaths
Stamina is a stem
This is your sap
Running dry in the forest
These paths no longer for me
A wanderer has no home
It is every place she goes
You will not return with me
This is a forethought and a promise
Barren is the bend in the road
You find shame in the journey unfinished
Will you not see the end
This fist holds nothing against you
Much can be hidden in branches that will not bow

A hollow voice
She answers my call
Singing out
Into the night
Silence, my only companion
Has abandoned me
For those who do not curse their own name
I am the fool
In the forest
Moss between the bareness of my feet
Nothing but shame to cover my nakedness
I bite my tongue
The blood comes forth
Clenching my jaw
Will not warm my bones
The night carries me
As a wild river
I find no rest in the trees tonight

In the morning
I will be charming again
Convincing everyone, but myself
Of my alignment with the upright world

Oh listen
With your heart
To a language your mouth cannot speak
My body will preach
Pouring out of my skin
Into the stars
Listen with your heart
Oh dreamer who is withheld from rest
That peace will find you
Where hope has left

Sometimes anger manifests itself at sadness
That's why my insides are screaming

I am not a good friend

The centre; will not hold
We bear the weight
On the back of our shoulders
The beams they groan
The floorboards no longer creak
I am falling

Idle thoughts make quick work of my security

Now living by the virtues I so steadfastly preach
Crying alone in my room
'I'm an adult now, I'm responsible for healing from everything that hurt me'
We're not children anymore I'm accountable for what I do

Well it still ******* hurts, it still ******* hurts, it still ******* hurts

No one ******* taught me any different
And I'm sorry I just dont know

It
Still
*******
Hurts

I'm never quite empty
Never quite full
Hollow, until the rain water fills me up
Just to seep it out
Just to sleep it out

When you get to heaven
Ask Icarus of the sun
When I get to heaven
I will tell him
Of the brightest light
I ever knew
I will spin him stories
Of golden thread
And he will wonder
Why he did not instead
Chose to fly
Close to you

Know if you wear
Your heart on your sleeve
There should be no surprise
When there is blood
On your hands

Even if I never write
Anything great at all
Know that I have
Given my best
Know that I have
Said my all

I was dying within the skin that would not love me back
The husk of a man
Broken before his eighth birthday
They took even the shoes from his feet even as they gave them
The same they did with their love
Told him it could not be for him
It was not supposed to be this way
Let time change all things
A baptism of a saint
You martyr with the name sinner

Show up for yourself today.