You paint me as the wild one
So you can be the calmest man in the room
Calling yourself natural sunshine
So I can be portrayed as gloom

I shudder to think
Yet that is all I do

You told me you like beer
I think you drink it because you want your mouth to have something to do
Your hands to have something to hold

You ache
Pain is a death demanding and unforgiving
Hoping the shadow of a cigarette
Will veil this agony again
Smoke lungs breathe roses
Black thorns for a restless night
I dare not walk this way again, not alone
Simply forgotten

I miss you, again

Though there is space in between

I always loved my friends best

Held them highest

Like young stars

Against the black of a thousand year old sky

Is this why

We are so low now

Perhaps I should not speak for you

I, am so low now

I pray, winter treats you kind

As, it has robbed me of all my kindness

Each snowflake is different, they say

This one is melting away

Before spring

May spring

Come to you again

The sky, barren of stars
Held no mercy for the pin feathers of my love
Has my mortality always been so close
Is my hope just as far, merely out of my reach
My fingers search in the dark
For what the light will not uncover
My hope so close
I will not let her be forgotten

If I tell you
That you love me
Then I don't have to
Say it back

You are a silence
I cling to your empty whisper
Let the noise drown out
I hear only your song

And maybe the world doesn't need more souls fiery flames
But gentle candle hearts and kisses of kindness

This is the situation
How many feet under
Whether water or earth
The undoing of birth
All these threads

Snip, go the scissors of the fates
I seem them now, the dogs at the gates

To want after you
Is a dream
I dare not close my eyes to see
Unquenchable
Is everything you awaken in me
So dreamer lay
Just as you are
With a thirst in your soul
That I may drink
Until nought a drop be left
For the sun to claim

You brought sins of the world
Into our house
Plucked them out of fields
Of the earth
Until your basket was full

I loved you, like water
Pouring over
Into every crevice
Loving over your rough edges
Until they became smooth

Your love for me, a seed
The earth not ready to bare
A womb infertile
With the sins of those before
A catacomb of aching
And yet, when placed in my hands
The sprouts dug into my palm
Turning towards the sun

Did you know the dark
Under the stars
Before it was fearless
Before it stretched out it's wings
Sinking its teeth
Into the sun
Before the stars bowed down
To crown the heavens
In new mercies
Before I was fear
Chasing after the strength of the earth
Until it was worn out

I am just alot right now
Yet never am I you
For what I lack without
I can do without too

I was the one under the bed and she was the one in her head
A monster and her demons could never be friends
I live in the shadows  twixt the four posts
She thrives in the dark thoughts in her mind

I gave up to the eternal
The only thing I ever wanted for myself

I gave up you.

Now the tears on the threshold are dry
Not so the stains on my soul

If I could learn to give of myself
I would give it up to you

What is this I have found?
A smile on my face.

Where have you come from?
And why were you gone so long?

I did not realise until your return how much I have waited for this reunion.

I do not beg for you to stay, still I wish that you will not leave for atleast a while yet.

Take your time, and make a few wrinkles on these cheeks of mine.

Stretch to my eyes if you need, and down to my toes warm me up.

You blew your lies in my face
And it was not just the smoke that agitated me
More the time thay you took kindle the fire
Even though you didn't care how much I got burned

When you ask for space
Know I will stand
Arms open wide
In the gap between
Tell me of your fears
And demons
Of how the darkness crawls towards you
In broad daylight
Tell me of how you faced it
It does not matter
If you were scared or brave
You are human
Bearing the burden
The great weight presses on your chest
Its face turns to yours
Whispers in your ear
It will never be light
This is not our first avalanche
Not our first burden
For you
I would hold up the sky
For you I would press my palms
Into the clouds
Feel the rain run down my arms
Like blood
And when I look the rain is red
It is no matter

these words are not worship, they are penance

You the hero
I the shallow

I whisper to the sky,
"I'll go."
Because I know
You will not hear me

Friends never say goodbye

The clocks will toll
Ah, the midnight hour
My soul again
Will leech out my fingertips

we are both lost
so comfortable with losing
now as the world spins
in the same direction as before
our paper ambitions
turn themselves inside out
passing like aging stars
burning across the sky
I know a brighter fire
burns in you
I placed it there
before we even thought
of the beginning of time
before amens whispered
on the backs of prayers
when heavens womb
was full of hope
before we gave up
all the glimmering shadows
that slipped through our souls
like water through a child's cupped hands
the ways of the world
brought me to this ledge
you will push me
to remind me of my myself
of my loving for flying
the promise of gravity
and the certainty of an end

You are
The pale pink thoughts
In my dark purple mind
I am not accustomed to the light

The trickle of my words
Is a river of pages
That have learned their bounds only in the temptation of the sun
What the day would not teach them
The moon bade unto them
One by one
The secrets of the stars
And how quickly you shine
When you know the sky
Even as the lights before my eyes
Learn their fading
As the last song to be sung
When the dandelions no longer yellow in their intentions learn to give themselves up to the wind
These are seeds of hope
May they be for tomorrow
When you have nothing left for today
As simple still, as hands held in the dark
You have learned the secret of the dust
Settling so quickly
While the feet of the remorseless still raise
What the sun looks upon only in shame
Her remorse says little
To the promises wound between the crossing of your fingers

Eyes to see
Ears to hear
No room for fear

Letting go is growth
My faith is not in the rising of the sun
But in those who love its light
Today's peace
An honest estament
To the heart's ability to heal
Existing here, sentient
While other minds
Hold space for my spirit
I am there also
I am with you
I am in the earth
The stars are in me
As is all chaos and peace
The world has ever known
My chest holds astroid craters
Transcendent seeds of the tree of life
Existing in many times at once
As myself, as a child
A satisfaction that will not be satiated
Wean me not of knowledge's cravings
All things flow through me
As I also am in all things
Is not your structure
Made of the iron in my bones
Your heart beating the same drum
To a different tune
Here we are calling up the sun
With the trumpet of unabashed power
Ageing with this day
In the morning I am new
Fresh as dew on grass
Knowing, this too shall pass

This dream
Delivered me to reality
Bore me no joy
Rolling up stardust
Second yarn ball
From the sun
Unwinding reason
Spinning in the dark
When I orbit the sun
The light will touch me again

I wonder who taught me loving
I knew it before I knew your name
Now I cannot whisper it without
I hate loneliness
I love to be alone
Here I sit, and think of you
Ask me, if you know me
And I will do the same
Lay my hand, on your chest
Feel your heart beating
Through cotton skin
Your mysteries are new
To my ancient hands

Anytime you think of me
I am with you
Once in a while
Let me cross your mind
Blue moon loss
Setting sail
Gentle tides
Of an angel lit cross

I water the dead flowers of our love
Maybe dying was given to us
So we could learn how to love

The heart may know what it wants
It does not always know best
Organs are fickle instruments
No matter how deep
How resonating a melody they create
In the end, the crashing of the crescendo
The blood pumping in your veins
Music is a farce
Against the steady beat of mankind

...but you should be afraid

Such I have become
The Darkness
That which I feared most
She is warmer than I anticipated
Or maybe such a soul as mine has cooled
Between earth
And the dying of the stars
The heat lingers in my belly
But I do not feel it in this coffin skin
Sleep will come, and not to soon
Sleep will come, but not to late

Sleep is here, I am at the gate

When you lie
With your silver tongue
You devalue yourself
We are human
We are worth honesty

We fell apart
So long ago
It still feels
Like yesterday
I still feel
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