I stand at the door
And knock
But my nuckles as hopeless as the hands that guide them
Oh full moon
Bathe me in gentleness
That as you set
I will rise
To fill the emptiness
Just one more star in the sky

is anyone more predictable than a poet

What if
I saw you
With another girl
What if
You held her hand
Will you make her laugh
Like you did with me
What if she smiles
Is she prettier than me
Will you hold onto this one

What if you introduce her to me
Do I smile and shake her hand
And say I am pleased to meet her
What if I haven't let go
What if I still feel the same
Maybe I still give a ****
But maybe I am not in your plan

What if
You buy her flowers
What if
She kisses your cheek
What if
I wish I was her
What if
I want your arms around me
What if
I want to breathe the same air you do
What if
I need you
What if
I had a second chance
What if
You made a different choice
Maybe you would still love you

What if my heart still wants you
What if I still love you

Of all the tastes in the world
Your kisses are the most **tangible

I scream
It hums through the air
On the backs of razor blade wings

I scream!
It catches in my throat
And pulls my heart out with it

I SCREAM
My woes
Into the night that bore them

I SCREAM!
My anguish is such
All will unwittingly now know

i scream
A futile rasp
Noise is nothing, when follows death

I scream
Still you do not hear me
A broken heart is not a quiet thing

I am soft
Anger found me
I let it move on
It is not for me
Beneath me
Hot coals
Under my feet

Anger came again
Liquid in my veins
I let it run
Waterfalls out my eyes
A current away
Not walking with me
Stumbling behind

I found anger
Clenched in my jaw
Settling between knuckles
And metacarpals of my hands
Slammed into the wall
Glass shards on the floor
Let it stay there
Art, reminder
Pity

Anger found me
I spoke to her by name
She seduced me
With the lull of her voice
I lay here now
Barren of grace
Swollen with fury
Fire in my eyes
This is the time
I will burn
Burn out
There will be no rekindling
Only ashes on the walls

When the Maker lay me in the earth
And the angels thronged about
With stars wrought in their hair
And cosmos soldered to their belts
The ageless bestowed to me a thread
And it was woven of memory
He did not give me wisdom
And I could not tear it apart
The maker wrapped this thread
And around my soul it stays
For part of me is part of the past
And all who dream are dreams past

Endings are as nuetral as change in the weather

The angels were whispering in my ear about the confines of my heart
They know I withhold nothing from you
Yet when I am sad it is not their hands against my mouth, but a strangers
I have no plight against them
When my head is screaming to let out a sound
No whisper is even heard
Will my casket be filled merely with cheap regrets
When I could have been speaking truth
My love, how do I find my voice

Mommy stop it
Just go away
Be like the rain clouds
And come back another day
You are never there
When I need you most
Just stop talking
And close your mouth
Its raining its pouring
But your love is boring
I walked away and I'm not coming back
Just figure it out, that thing you lack

I wish my Mother loved me
Like in those stories
I wish my Mother knew
What I've been through

I am not one
To place my bets
On the end of the world
To put the wages of my toil
Towards the final
Breaking of the dawn
The sun may come up again
Strike no accord against me
And yet, if the darkness remains
I will be no richer, no wiser
Only colder in indifference
That you already see in me

Relationships can be an anchor or your wings
It all depends if you are learning to float or fly
It be one with ocean
Or to touch the sky

To bad I cant write words that will last
Or even be long remembered
Like a fading flower falling to the ground
Are the cries from my lips
A path that ends after one last bend

I find new troubles
At the bottom
Of an empty cup

No one told me sadness felt like this
I cannot help but wonder if they did not know

This is why I feel so alone

I love songs that make me cry, because it means my soul isn't all rock yet

I am not patient in my healing
Claim no diety in my veins
Your name the eternal flavor
My mouth that would not wash out
Not with whiskey, water, or time

I am trying so hard
Not to cry
But I begin to wonder
Does it even matter anymore?

I must tell you
While I am sober
I must tell you
Before it gets dark
I have to say it
Before we are making it
I am compelled
The words make a spring nest
In my mouth
Behind my teeth
It is a summer home
To the house I have built
For you in my heart
You are welcome here

This was my sanctuary
But now it is **broken

Take me back
To the secret garden
I have been here too long
I am shape shifting
Fog passed through me
This morning
We dissipate
It is always this way
When the sun rises
When your skin warms
I am not against it
I am not permanent
Simply here
Weeds peek
Through brick walkway
Not shy
Simply there
Stone walls close around me
A child castle
A world apart
Can we not name the shelters we built as children, home?
Tell me the difference
Between place and memory
Cut into bark of a tree
It is wick
It is green
We were young once too
Before I knew what permanence was
When things were simple
Small yellow blossoms
Freckle green grass
Growing natures way
Reaching for the sun
Aching for her rays
We long too
For what warms us
Do not name me
A dying sun
I’m an evening candle
Nothing more
Simply there

Were we not children once
Heavens not breathless
Only myself
Worlds fading
From atmosphere
As quickly
As called into orbit
By name
Compelled to answer
Stars timid
Of their own light
Draw close
Lips of a sinner in prayer
Time has baited her breath
What has caused
Relentless torment
Will your words
Not bury themselves
In the earth
Long after this day
Let my heart burn
As do my cheeks
And my ears
Confidence
Will find me again
The devil
A fool for promises
Jester of his own court
Why does your spirit wane
In this drought
New waters will come
New hopes too
Knowing little of gods
That love much
Ask little
Hearts aching
I am tears
Stinging your cheeks
Let sorrow pass
A world with no worth
Besides souls
Scattered as pennies in the street
Let not your light fade
Words diminish
There is hope still
Jehovah holds skies
Holds mountains
Your plight
Not so small
To slip through his grasp
You came
As a child once
This is not forgotten
You are young
To him still
Young to the earth
Do not act in haste
Love on your tongue
More than kisses
For lips
Hold a flame
For yourself
I knew anguish once
I will not walk
That way again
Praying for new shores
In deepest waters
Unparalleled

the only part of beauty that the world understands
is the kind they can destroy with their hands
the only kind of pretty that they know
is the kind that they choose to let go

One day
I will look on your world
With great fondness
Too long
Have I held my breath
Against the terrible monotony of time
Marching this unforgiving carcass
Across the sand
I am tired
Weary
Aging
My youth has forsaken me
For the fading promise of tomorrow
She has born little fruit
I will go into the desert again
The sun will come to my skin
A lover that has been waiting
To kiss me with passion
To touch
Has it been forty years
Or only a moment
The figs will dry to anjeer
Or perhaps it is only a mirage
There is nothing tangible here
Beyond the sand
And she
Slips all too easily
Through my fingers

Do you not see the storm?

As you lay on your island.

Watch.

As it comes to cover you.

In the tears you reaped.

From every heart you stole!

And as the waters wash...

...over your broken body.

And the salt stings your cheeks,

Remember.

That kisses are sweet.

Tears are salty.

And this world doesn't have,

Rules.

Just for you to **cheat.

It's late, anything goes
You forget I'm human
Could have guessed I'd bleed red
You checked all the same
Where I met God
Was not where he left me
Deception you spoke
That torment was my stint
It was not always this way
Better is a hope, not a promise
Somehow put together perfectly
The ground is cold
Nails scratch against tombstones
The sun climbs into morning
On steps of moonlight
We will bury this night with shovels of dirt
Enough has been said while the moon is full
To be silent today
Enough has been said for tomorrow
To be silent today
Not caring where I go
Take me far
From all you know
From all that forced its memory upon you
My memories are laced into many people
Threads that do not know undoing
They wind themselves around your fingers
We clutch at hope
In hope it will clutch back

Maybe one of us writes greater than the other
Yet we feel no deeper
We are all just at the bottom
Scrambling for the words to fill the cracks in ourselves
Telling the others
That's how the light gets in

You never should of shown me
Who you are
I saw right through you once
I can never claim blindness again

It's as if I stayed awake just to be sad in the dark

I have lived things in my life
That are torture
For body, mind, and soul

I am off center today
Drifting from the middle
I wonder
What is wrong

Perhaps, more adequately
What was wrong
Is taking space in today

I am not a gentle healer
I am rage
I am anger against this fragile body
I am impatient
Against all the time it has taken
I have cursed my tongue
With my own words
For every time she was silent
Broken my skin against my bones
For when she was not strong enough

I am god-awful ugly
In-between all my attractions
That is the part I see
Seeping in-between the cracks

It is no matter
I am just matter
Does anything matter
Or is simply that thought taboo

Sitting by the circle of fire
Alone with coals
Ghosts will come soon
To welcome ghouls

If I tried to make myself make sense to you, I would tell you that I am emotionally abandoned

Part of me was left on the side of the interstate traveling from Okay to Not Okay and is wandering around in a corn field

Maybe she will find a ride home, but some things while they are sought for no matter how much the chance of probability are still lost

Yet her grave is not yet dug

Damm you were bright
But the moon is my lover

Sun of my life
I love like no other

My star in the sky
None can eclipse

The kiss of the night
By day, she I miss

Wonder of the world
She lives while you rest

Daughter of the night
The reaper of the blest

You made me think it was okay to keep going
Even if it didn't get  better
Even if I didn't do better
That somehow my something was enough
It was because you gave your all
Even though you thought it was so little
That I wanted to give everything
So that we could give so much together
Like oxen pulling at a yoke

And maybe that is not much to you
Or even to anyone else
But it was hope to me
And it has changed everything

In a way
You taught me how to love
To be kind
Because you showed me kindness
When I found myself less than deserving
God bless you for such my friend

I pray for wisdom
Not for age
It seems as the days roll by
That I always get one
Not so much the other

I wonder sometimes
If its enough for you
The memories me
Do you even think of me anymore?
Or did your mind close,
When you shut the door?
Did you want more?

-memories
-kisses
-moments
-time

I constantly crave
The golden glow
From your eyes
When I kissed you
I will always want more
To lighten my own soul

To tell me its okay
To tell me to let go
To tell me you care
To tell me you love me

Would be a sweet torture
No matter how
I will need you
And I will never back down