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181 · Jul 2023
The Repetition of Simple
Lexie Jul 2023
Take me back
To the secret garden
I have been here too long
I am shape shifting
Fog passed through me
This morning
We dissipate
It is always this way
When the sun rises
When your skin warms
I am not against it
I am not permanent
Simply here
Weeds peek
Through brick walkway
Not shy
Simply there
Stone walls close around me
A child castle
A world apart
Can we not name the shelters we built as children, home?
Tell me the difference
Between place and memory
Cut into bark of a tree
It is wick
It is green
We were young once too
Before I knew what permanence was
When things were simple
Small yellow blossoms
Freckle green grass
Growing natures way
Reaching for the sun
Aching for her rays
We long too
For what warms us
Do not name me
A dying sun
I’m an evening candle
Nothing more
Simply there
181 · Feb 2014
Thin Lines
Lexie Feb 2014
dark thoughts oh so foreboding
mental images over loading
black seas with evil intent
troubled minds that need to vent
a race to the end of the line
a broken watch that still tells time
a contradiction within itself
a teddy bear sitting on a shelf
the man that waits around the corner
the girl who's tears label her as a mourner
the imposter we all came to trust
the lies so wet we all started to rust
the breeze that does not touches the leaves
the things we stole but blamed the thieves
legs that have no feet attached
dueling partners no one can match
the lost land with all our socks
the clocks that control our lives tick tock
the vile smells from our own history
the things we know but still call mystery
the key we need to believe
the air we want to be able to breathe
the right to write anything we want on paper
the poison we called a perfumed vapor
the reason we all need a savior
the children that were never taught proper behavior
the bold words spoke from weak hearts
the things so ugly but we still call them art
the trends that show on every face
the things that never found their place
the numbers we dialed over and over again
the words we wrote with pencil but erased with pen
the vacation to hells home
the trips you took all alone
the road that speak so much more than feet
the places we go the people we meet
181 · Aug 2022
Hunger Pains
Lexie Aug 2022
If you put a gun to my face
I would wrap my mouth
Around the barrel
Look you dead in the eyes
Tell you, to pull the trigger
Only when I am starving
Will I eat my words
181 · Aug 2022
Healer
Lexie Aug 2022
I have been absorbing darkness
For a long time
Painting my burning rays
Across where you could not see
Do you feel lighter
Now that you are illuminated
I was not hungry
But I have swallowed up your sins
Spit them out as blessings
For you to feast
It hurts to heal
But I will not make it
Any harder than it has to be
I am here for your journey
You will never know
The role you play in mine
I could find you
Blind and mute in the dark
I would not even struggle
I only wonder
Why you lost me to begin with
There is no grievance between us
I will seek you
Until you are whole again
I am all the broken pieces
Of anyone I have ever loved
I am all your pain and your guilt
I am your fears and bitter truth
I am the voice of reason
Telling you, you are worthy
Taking your pitiful currency
As gold
I am the temple
The offering
I am the unburdened
Go, and be light
You are free
Even of me
Letting go, is a practice.
181 · Aug 2016
Duet
Lexie Aug 2016
Do you know how to write a love letter
I mean, you never wrote them to me
But you must know how, it is in you
Write out your heart, for me to read

I don't believe any life is a mistake
But I know I've made plenty in life
Just wanted to be your, and you mine in turn
Didn't meant to make any trouble, or cause strife

My skin burned red, when you were pulled away
A forever so much shorter than I ever imagined
So many memories crowded up in my head
Something though I wonder, if they really happened

I was lost, I loved, I lost,  I lost my love
So many words and all of these hurting hearts
Like trying to hard to make a snake dance
I thought I was a duet, I was left playing all the parts
181 · Apr 2021
Lightyears
Lexie Apr 2021
You called it grief
I will not name it differently
181 · Aug 2015
Lower
Lexie Aug 2015
What is our existence degraded to?
Please comment below.
180 · Mar 2018
A sliver of hope
Lexie Mar 2018
This is almost what I wanted
I am so sure
But still uncertain
I want to walk with you
See where the road goes
Hold my hand?
180 · Oct 2019
Separation
Lexie Oct 2019
Sleep when we're dead
I'll be tired then too
Lover come over
Lover I lost you
180 · Aug 2019
Misguided, Misled
Lexie Aug 2019
I love the world
More than I should
I understand
I am a perfect person

To be used
Used up
Until I am dry
Giving
Until I am spent
Hoping
Until I am hopeless
Hoping
When all is said and done
You are a better man

Let the lights
Burn out
All my fears
All my doubts
Hold me now
Nothing matters anymore

If I ask
You to chose me
There is no choice at all
It has already been made
Made for you

As the sun goes down
It is over
Refusing to fight
I'm no soldier
For broken hearts
No warrior
Of chastity

Go
And be gone
Rubble of our lives
Not worth
Funeral pyres

Wait
Tell me
Tell me you believe
In love
Dreams
That good poeple exists
That you could be one
Let us remember
Vividly
So when we
Ourselves
Are forgotten
Guilt will find us
More easily
Than the hands
You used
To press your love
Into me
Skin broken
As your promises

Such is life
Temptations
Are not my actions
I am human
I love the world
More than I should
Things in it
Not so good for me
180 · Aug 2023
Trigger Finger
Lexie Aug 2023
Open your mouth
Call up the demons
My expiration draws near
A dead one
That has long been buried
Is being necromanced
Let her sleep, she is tired
You are not one to let sleeping dogs lay
We cannot let ******* sleep
Are we the sun
Or the rooster
We both wake you
One more gentle than the other
180 · Feb 2019
Dreamer
Lexie Feb 2019
I seldom put my ghosts to sleep
They are the spiderwebs of my consciousness
The martyrs in the back of my mind
Even they, in their dead wisdom
Don't want me to wake up
180 · Nov 2015
Your Memory
Lexie Nov 2015
I attributed my choice to your memory
I could of sent him the pictures
I knew the stranger wanted me
I almost let him have me
Inside of his mind
Let his body rule over mine
But I couldn't
I will never forget
What it was like
To be yours
I belonged to you
Inside and out
So I am sorry
For even the thought
Of betrayal to your memory
I will try to keep it sweet
Within me
Crazy how much you still affect me.
180 · Apr 2018
Incesant
Lexie Apr 2018
My mind is filled with the hum of the universe
In the 2am hour
When the souls forget their troubles they carry through the day
180 · Nov 2015
Skull
Lexie Nov 2015
Although my bones always smile happily
Sometimes my face is less than proud
I feel like I am in a wooden box
Ready to buried in six feet of cold ground
180 · Feb 2016
Tears
Lexie Feb 2016
I thought that you were a great source of grief in my life
but then I discovered it is only those that come between us
between you and me my friend
that cause the pain
I miss you.
Every moment.
And many tears have fallen
From my cheeks to the floor
But they are not out of anger I hold against you
They are of glass broken
Out of lies of separation
I love you.
179 · Nov 2015
Untitled
Lexie Nov 2015
I tried to suffocate the pain inside the shell that is my body
but it choked my lifeless instead
so now inside my messed up head
all my cells are dead
179 · Apr 2021
Split
Lexie Apr 2021
You were not meant to carry my burdens
Though if you knew of them you so scarcely gave it second thought before stacking them on your shoulders
You were not meant for this weight
Were you not told
Even Angel's long to look into these things
They have wings
Bird's have hollow bones
You and I are heavy and full and soft
Or we were before
Now we are separate
And not the same
179 · Jan 2023
Necro
Lexie Jan 2023
I am not my body
But it is my house
A hundred years from now
When it is a vacant home
Will you rummage through my rubble
Sift through my fallen shingles
I fear to be plundered
As men often do
As sinners often joke
Of renting women’s bodies
Yet, they do not pay the price
I am a haunting house
I am not an open door
Will you not respect my frame
For the soul it once contained
Or is the time after I part with life
Squatters rights
179 · Dec 2018
Paper Dolls
Lexie Dec 2018
She was an origami girl
Something you could fold in the palm of your hands
Slip into your pocket
And just forget about

She was a paper mache girl
Someone you could wrap in layers and layers
Until you couldn't tell what was truly underneath
You would leave her out to dry
But the sun warmth never touched her center

She was a paper airplane girl
Something you set free to the air
Falling again and again
Until you lost interest

She was a paper doll girl
Lacking depth and emotion
Pressed flat between pages
Just an open book
For you to tell a story you thought was fitting

She was not paper
And she was not string
She was a just girl
Oh what a beautiful thing
Love yourself, even if it is just for today
179 · Oct 2022
Moulting
Lexie Oct 2022
I have shed this carcass a thousand times
When I dig my nails into my skin
It is thicker than before
I tear away at her
Until I am raw
Open me up
So that I may pour out
It is the only way
179 · Nov 2015
Facts
Lexie Nov 2015
I am going to live
I am going to die
What  I do in between
Will make you ask, "why?"
178 · May 2014
How to Dance
Lexie May 2014
Step 1: Rise like the moon beams from under the clouds

Step 2: Lift your feet like gentle voices raised loud

Step 3: Rest your hands like soft gentle dreams

Step 4: Turn like the sun at its peak

Step 5: And whisk away the fear you seek
178 · Dec 2015
dance.
Lexie Dec 2015
for though you my dearest friend
speak in riddles of ages long past
and talk in the tongues of angels
I do understand your ways

you my closest companion
have lived with me in my heart
through all these years and journeys
so many uncounted days

ever we dance under the sun
like branches we humbly bow
before the thrones of the stars
to please the moon, in her waking

a hushed whisper of wind
breathes into our very souls
a fire lighting a candle
a beautiful spirit in it's making

we don't need wings to fly
just feet to dance the earth
where it ever to shrivel up
become a husk and fade away

we would still dance
it's memory into the cosmos
set it in stone forever
never to crack or chip like clay

I could never be better
and always be worse
I just want to dance with you
with you until I die

to be your waltz
and the beat in your heart
the melody you play
when you start to cry

when you long for amnesia
because you can't stand
can't stand to remember
I will be the love in your eyes

the dead, the sweetest stars
inside of your broken mind
don't worry my friend
I will sing you back alive

streets aren't made for everybody
that's why they built sidewalks
you don't have to like it
just move to the right

this isn't world is for everybody
but don't you dare leave
if you don't like it
just cry through the night

what inspired me in the beginning
what were you words?
I didn't have to hear them
they just had to be felt

it's not how you talk
or what you chose to wear
it's what you have inside
no matter how it's spelt

what matters will last
no matter what the cost
days and nights you know
but this life is to fast

we live for today
you dance in the present
it' about us, in the now
not about the past

the half of you on the inside
trying to break out
break out of the bars
without the keys

sustainable on your love
always enough, just keep me high
on your level I stay there
never on my knees

though I pray as I dance
and take every chance
to know you more
please let me in

though we fight many battles
and win many wars
don't question the past
of where I've been

I live in my casket
and I died on your lips
but I would dance the world
for just one kiss
178 · Oct 2015
Follow your heart...
Lexie Oct 2015
You did not have you own
heart
And so you
took
A little piece from

All the people
that you
loved

So while they had
enough

To Survive

You would have a
Little

Bit to keep you warm

:)

...but...

as they went through life
just a little bit
broken

you found you were
torn
in every direction

For you could not
follow

Your heart.

Because it went to so many
different places at once

And you had no
home

But neither were you alone

For you were sown in
love

Wreathed in
flame

Touched by
fire

And all of your best parts remain :)
178 · Mar 2016
Last Words
Lexie Mar 2016
It gets worse with every word


The beats of my heart that are not heard


Walk away and I will sleep


And pray the lord my soul to keep
178 · Feb 2014
The Way
Lexie Feb 2014
I watch you pace in front of your window

The way you move when you walk

The way you float above the ground

Like an angle when you fly

Like a butterfly in the sky
178 · Dec 2019
Vibin
Lexie Dec 2019
These things take time
I am a heart breaker
With a broken heart
I know your energy
Before you open
Your ******* mouth
177 · Aug 2016
Dark Nights
Lexie Aug 2016
when you cry yourself to sleep
because you don't know what else to do
when you cry yourself to sleep
just to make it through

when tears are your rocks
and cheeks your cliff
and you run over the edge
into the abyss

when you cry yourself to sleep
in the dark of night
when you cry yourself to sleep
with not a soul in sight

when dreams are your ship
and your body an anchor
lost in the water
drowning in danger
177 · Jan 2016
Longer
Lexie Jan 2016
long days and longer nights
never empty but always hollow
short tempers and shorter strides
where to walk just to hide
177 · May 2014
I Choked (10w)
Lexie May 2014
The cold
Is unyielding
To heavy hearts
177 · Jan 2016
Change
Lexie Jan 2016
I've written you so many
words in my mind
Some of them harsh
and some more kind

I've printed on my heart
all the things I would say
But ripped them to shreds
the very next day

It would seem I compared
all the wrong things
The contrast of sounds
the way the bird sings

I left out the best parts
and how it made me feel
Locked it all up
and made it unreal

Because emotions are void
in a world so molded
Like every sheet in the house
must be perfectly folded

But I cannot conform
and neither will my words
They open your mind
so they must be heard

They will never be loud enough
not on their own
But them I endorse
and them I condone

These actions you speak of
louder than words
Funny your steps
are never even heard

As you walk to and fro
inside of my house
Creating the chaos
like elephant and mouse

I refuse to play
these games any longer
You say I am losing
but I feel so much stronger

So letters it is.
all strung together
Let's make some words
and then make them better

Think in our minds
how to change the world
Like a flag sewn
like a flag unfurled
177 · Dec 2015
Chase
Lexie Dec 2015
I run until I can't breathe
Why won't you chase me?
176 · Aug 2018
Wise
Lexie Aug 2018
I firmly believe
That to become wise
You must experience new foolishness
Everyday
Like you feed yourself
Food from hand to mouth
Fresh fruit
Plucked from the vine
So is wisdom
Thus is life
176 · Sep 2014
Time
Lexie Sep 2014
Maybe underneath the crust of the earth
It's heart is beating
Not a clock
176 · Nov 2015
Back
Lexie Nov 2015
the demons
are back
and stronger than ever
they brought their friends
darker and deeper
they command
again
and again
inside of my brain
and so quickly they control
I think I am insane
176 · Mar 2016
Sweet Sorrow
Lexie Mar 2016
You have to push me
Or I will never move

You have to carry me
So I can learn to walk

Each of these past days
I have crawled back further into my shell

And if you do not reach
For me right now
I may never see the sun again

So kiss me once
For it may very well be my last

And say goodnight
To the heart you love more than you know

For the darkness comes
And I have not the strength to hide

Sweet sorrow
And oh so much fear
And every night is like a tear
176 · Oct 2018
Remorse
Lexie Oct 2018
You would rather pick the petals to put on my casket
Than take back a word you have said
176 · Jan 2016
Kept
Lexie Jan 2016
Secrets** should be kept
By those who hath forged them
176 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Lexie Oct 2015
For an hour I waited
And for an hour I died
Cursing the screen
That you chose to hide
Your face and emotions
Made me perplexed
And all of these words
Just served to vex
Don't be a child
But you don't have to grow up
Just speak to me tiger
So things can look up
176 · Nov 2019
Froze Over
Lexie Nov 2019
Your love
Embodies
The spirit of spring
175 · Sep 2014
sweet.
Lexie Sep 2014
the flowers crushed under foot
smell just as sweet
175 · Feb 2014
No
Lexie Feb 2014
No
You say yes
I say no
You say stay
I say go

What I say does it really matter
Do my words ever reach your brain

Or do they float in empty air
Void of meaning
Void of care

I want the truth without deception
But all I get is
175 · Sep 2015
Love
Lexie Sep 2015
It was my first chosen emotion
That I could not control

So I let into the light
And it got out of control

It saw the sun and so it hid
Inside my heart, within a rib

It was my only peace in life
And I would not let it go

I could never do it again
So I held to close, so it could not go

I held it down and bound it inside
So it could stay, and I could hid
175 · Nov 2015
yearn
Lexie Nov 2015
the best pain
is the worst pain
the kind that drives me insane
the kind you can let out
only to return
and for the blood in my veins
it will ever year
175 · Jun 2015
Underneath You
Lexie Jun 2015
Could I hold your weight?
Could I compare?

Baby would you notice I was there?

Love me gentle
Love me right
But don't crush me with the weight of the night

When the lights go out
And the music raises our temperature

Clothes hit the floor
Under you
You will find
What you are looking for
175 · Oct 2015
Sleepless
Lexie Oct 2015
I'm a poet
I know not sleep

But I know
Your face

The way it looks
In my mind

In the early hours
Before the dawn

I can hear you call
My name in anger

You are my love
And I your stranger

Hello I whisper
To the stars

And I know they
Hear me

Even though
They are so far

I couldn't wait
For you to smile

I want to dance
To the music in your eyes

I want you
To know

My kisses are yours
And every breathe I breath

Is a gift you receive
I will not rest

While you wake
And since I am not

With you now
I cannot sleep

So your memory
Awake

I will keep
175 · Sep 2017
Torture
Lexie Sep 2017
This is as torturous
As waiting for you to decide
You put the cart before the horse
And still you hold the reigns

All the weight is unbalanced
And the threads are coming undone
You blame me, like acid
I feel your lies burn into my face

Teach me to be independent
But how dare I have thoughts
That contradict with such a small mind
And my thoughts to large

I cannot tell if you are lying
Because your words don't complete
Even the sentence they claim
All the words like a verbal suicide

Phone calls and connections
Unmarked cop cars and social workers
A family, with one warrior
And she fights, still she fights

She was all grown up
By the time she hit the age of 9
A child? An angel?
But no one spared the rod

She left when she could
Still you tried to follow
But only fools go
Where heroes set their steps

You carry flames on your tongue
It is no wonder you spit fire
But I think you a fool
To expect me to quench your thirst
175 · Jan 2016
Sand & Ashes
Lexie Jan 2016
what will be left but memories
that, like rocks on the shore
are slowly worn to sand
crumbling into the past
laying a foundation for the future
less and less and less they become
until like ashes thrown into the ocean
they are so separated
no one has even remembered
that they were ever once, one
a core slowly eroded
a past slowly erased
an essence faded
into tomorrow
and no one remembered to forget
and they walk upon the ashes
in the sand
they will never know
and so that my friend
is how life goes
175 · Oct 2022
Nightmare in First Person
Lexie Oct 2022
Lay next to me
While I go
To the bottom of my mind
Breathe in helium, oxygen, moonlight
Consciousness, floating to the ceiling
I am dreaming, lucid
I am watching the world
In third person, in black and gray
Small matters of the mind
Busy bodies following patterns
Mouths reciting scripts
It is mundane
When I looking through, glass
Panel of my own mind
First person
That is when I see, horrors
Technicolor
I bare it badly as it were gospel
These nightmares an unholy conquest
Against my consciousness
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