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174 · Jun 2018
a prayer
Lexie Jun 2018
...i must be still now...

      ...to allow the celestials and heavens to change me

...you to are different now my friend...

   ...and the sky falls out of my eyes...
...I cannot contain...

...such/such is this/such am I/such a time as this... ... s uch..
                

                  please don't let me go...

...I will not move/help/I wait...

                                     ...please don't let me go
173 · Nov 2015
Your Memory
Lexie Nov 2015
I attributed my choice to your memory
I could of sent him the pictures
I knew the stranger wanted me
I almost let him have me
Inside of his mind
Let his body rule over mine
But I couldn't
I will never forget
What it was like
To be yours
I belonged to you
Inside and out
So I am sorry
For even the thought
Of betrayal to your memory
I will try to keep it sweet
Within me
Crazy how much you still affect me.
173 · Feb 2019
Dreamer
Lexie Feb 2019
I seldom put my ghosts to sleep
They are the spiderwebs of my consciousness
The martyrs in the back of my mind
Even they, in their dead wisdom
Don't want me to wake up
173 · Nov 2015
Facts
Lexie Nov 2015
I am going to live
I am going to die
What  I do in between
Will make you ask, "why?"
173 · Feb 2014
Broken Roads With Lines
Lexie Feb 2014
I don't believe in fate
The omens do not control my life
The lines in my hands are merely lines
The marks on my body tell the real story

My hair is long the perfect mask
I have pictures of things that could never last
Time is a monster it devours me whole
I cling to precious seconds before they are gone

When a smile is all that I have left to wear
The empty compliments are so easy to accept
But what is the point when all I feel is contempt
How is self pity ever acceptable

Books are my friends I am torn between pages
When I can live a life I know will end happily ever after
But when I am forced to return to the world I dwell in
How can I not break from the stress

I am real you cant press me between pages
I am something that wont last I will fade
Like flowers trampled under foot in a glade
Just more earth turned over with a *****

When I regret the words I continue to say
Waiting and hoping for the end of the day
How do I grow with no sun love or water
I am a piece of clay left to dry without potter

When the fairytale ends and I am faced with reality
When people are forced to accept the real me
When bold words come from foolish hearts
When I end where I wanted to start

Then I am truly only and at peace
Then I am forced to face the beast
173 · Jan 2022
Full Bloom
Lexie Jan 2022
You are an open flower
I cannot help but wonder
Is this pure consciousness
Have you closed your soul
So soon
Unburden yourself of the past
She is not today's weight
173 · Sep 2014
sweet.
Lexie Sep 2014
the flowers crushed under foot
smell just as sweet
173 · Dec 2018
6 String Heart
Lexie Dec 2018
If you ever needed love
I would play you until my fingers bled
Your strings biting into my skin
What is a taste of pain to a beautiful melody
173 · Aug 2019
Misguided, Misled
Lexie Aug 2019
I love the world
More than I should
I understand
I am a perfect person

To be used
Used up
Until I am dry
Giving
Until I am spent
Hoping
Until I am hopeless
Hoping
When all is said and done
You are a better man

Let the lights
Burn out
All my fears
All my doubts
Hold me now
Nothing matters anymore

If I ask
You to chose me
There is no choice at all
It has already been made
Made for you

As the sun goes down
It is over
Refusing to fight
I'm no soldier
For broken hearts
No warrior
Of chastity

Go
And be gone
Rubble of our lives
Not worth
Funeral pyres

Wait
Tell me
Tell me you believe
In love
Dreams
That good poeple exists
That you could be one
Let us remember
Vividly
So when we
Ourselves
Are forgotten
Guilt will find us
More easily
Than the hands
You used
To press your love
Into me
Skin broken
As your promises

Such is life
Temptations
Are not my actions
I am human
I love the world
More than I should
Things in it
Not so good for me
173 · Jun 2018
Bad Habits pt 2
Lexie Jun 2018
The itch is back
Yet the promises remain the same


*
help me

173 · Jan 2019
Burnt Out
Lexie Jan 2019
Walking on two legs
As if they were the stiffest sticks
To make a way to the stream
That I could lay myself
In the rushing waters
That it would wash my ashes away
These cinders of spite, I burned
The smoke fills me now
As my passion once did,
Like sap in these maple limbs of mine,
On into the night it goes
On into the night dies
Whispering to the stars
Of the anger of men
And how a clenched fist
Lights fires
That cannot always be put out
The water tastes the remorse
Damming these mortal wishes
As another night is dragged
Into the vision of the dead
To lay with those who cannot forget
The kiss of fire
As it learned to bite
172 · May 2014
I Choked (10w)
Lexie May 2014
The cold
Is unyielding
To heavy hearts
172 · Sep 2022
Ocean Eyes
Lexie Sep 2022
I stare at the sea
It gives it’s loneliness to me
How long has it longed
To touch beyond the shore
To reach what is beyond
I do not know
What is in the deep
I am compelled
It eats away at me
High tide
Ebb and flow
There is no give and take here
Between the rocks and the shoals
We all succumb
To salt water sirens
We love
Because we fear
Give in to her
To the madness of the ocean
172 · May 2014
How to Dance
Lexie May 2014
Step 1: Rise like the moon beams from under the clouds

Step 2: Lift your feet like gentle voices raised loud

Step 3: Rest your hands like soft gentle dreams

Step 4: Turn like the sun at its peak

Step 5: And whisk away the fear you seek
172 · Mar 2016
Last Words
Lexie Mar 2016
It gets worse with every word


The beats of my heart that are not heard


Walk away and I will sleep


And pray the lord my soul to keep
172 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Lexie Oct 2015
For an hour I waited
And for an hour I died
Cursing the screen
That you chose to hide
Your face and emotions
Made me perplexed
And all of these words
Just served to vex
Don't be a child
But you don't have to grow up
Just speak to me tiger
So things can look up
172 · Jul 2019
Grief
Lexie Jul 2019
I grieve
For myself
The love I lost
When I let
My shadow go
172 · Jan 2016
Kept
Lexie Jan 2016
Secrets** should be kept
By those who hath forged them
171 · Jun 2015
Underneath You
Lexie Jun 2015
Could I hold your weight?
Could I compare?

Baby would you notice I was there?

Love me gentle
Love me right
But don't crush me with the weight of the night

When the lights go out
And the music raises our temperature

Clothes hit the floor
Under you
You will find
What you are looking for
171 · Nov 2015
yearn
Lexie Nov 2015
the best pain
is the worst pain
the kind that drives me insane
the kind you can let out
only to return
and for the blood in my veins
it will ever year
171 · Oct 2015
Heart
Lexie Oct 2015
My friend,

Does your heart feel
Like it's coming apart at the seams

Does it feel
Like the pain seeps in in-between

Have you noticed the thread
Clutched in my hand

I am trying to sew you
But it's not working like I planned

Until the darkest hour
I stitch and I sew

Even if I can't seal it
I'll never let you go

Your heart isn't a pillow
Its a comforter

To keep us safe
You are my comforter

The warmth you hide
Is okay to show

And if you trust me
I'll let you know

When your blood drips
Down your arms

I'll remind you my friend
That only hate harms

I can try so hard
To hold your heart

I will always love you
Even when you fall apart

You tears are mine
Like the oceans current

And we each know
The other is heaven sent

You look for me in the dark
And in the dark you find

All of the little pieces
That you left behind

I keep all my love
Inside my heart

So your memory
Will never be far apart

Your eyes see
Into my very soul

And you know
That I am not whole

We bide our time
And make many scars

We hurt ourselves
And bend many bars

Alone in our minds
We seek a way

To know this earth
And try to stay

Promises that say
Together we are alive

We still try to look
For a way to thrive

Hands clasped in hope
Never to let another go

For when we are one
Then we start to grow
Inspired by my super amazing best friend. <3
171 · Jan 2018
Enough
Lexie Jan 2018
To me you are the whole world
So I don't know how you could even think
That you are not enough
171 · Mar 2016
Picking
Lexie Mar 2016
If it is one or the other,
I chose you <3
171 · Oct 2015
Follow your heart...
Lexie Oct 2015
You did not have you own
heart
And so you
took
A little piece from

All the people
that you
loved

So while they had
enough

To Survive

You would have a
Little

Bit to keep you warm

:)

...but...

as they went through life
just a little bit
broken

you found you were
torn
in every direction

For you could not
follow

Your heart.

Because it went to so many
different places at once

And you had no
home

But neither were you alone

For you were sown in
love

Wreathed in
flame

Touched by
fire

And all of your best parts remain :)
171 · Oct 2023
Devout
Lexie Oct 2023
Grief is my religion
And oh, how earnestly I worship
171 · Feb 2014
No
Lexie Feb 2014
No
You say yes
I say no
You say stay
I say go

What I say does it really matter
Do my words ever reach your brain

Or do they float in empty air
Void of meaning
Void of care

I want the truth without deception
But all I get is
171 · Sep 2015
Love
Lexie Sep 2015
It was my first chosen emotion
That I could not control

So I let into the light
And it got out of control

It saw the sun and so it hid
Inside my heart, within a rib

It was my only peace in life
And I would not let it go

I could never do it again
So I held to close, so it could not go

I held it down and bound it inside
So it could stay, and I could hid
171 · Nov 2021
Poker Face
Lexie Nov 2021
Feeling out my way through this world
Not much better than blindness
How will I know
When you're bluffing
Still, I fold
Into the night
As you are Stranger.
170 · Oct 2015
Less
Lexie Oct 2015
Eighteen days.
Eighteen hours.
Eighteen minutes.
Eighteen flowers.

Some for now.
Some for later.
Some for love.
Some for haters.

Days to begin.
Days to finish.
Days to win.
Days to diminish.

Less than lies.
Less than before.
Less than true.
Less than more.

Eighteen days some less nights
Each a star in its own right
170 · Jan 2016
Sand & Ashes
Lexie Jan 2016
what will be left but memories
that, like rocks on the shore
are slowly worn to sand
crumbling into the past
laying a foundation for the future
less and less and less they become
until like ashes thrown into the ocean
they are so separated
no one has even remembered
that they were ever once, one
a core slowly eroded
a past slowly erased
an essence faded
into tomorrow
and no one remembered to forget
and they walk upon the ashes
in the sand
they will never know
and so that my friend
is how life goes
170 · Dec 2018
Paper Dolls
Lexie Dec 2018
She was an origami girl
Something you could fold in the palm of your hands
Slip into your pocket
And just forget about

She was a paper mache girl
Someone you could wrap in layers and layers
Until you couldn't tell what was truly underneath
You would leave her out to dry
But the sun warmth never touched her center

She was a paper airplane girl
Something you set free to the air
Falling again and again
Until you lost interest

She was a paper doll girl
Lacking depth and emotion
Pressed flat between pages
Just an open book
For you to tell a story you thought was fitting

She was not paper
And she was not string
She was a just girl
Oh what a beautiful thing
Love yourself, even if it is just for today
170 · Dec 2015
dance.
Lexie Dec 2015
for though you my dearest friend
speak in riddles of ages long past
and talk in the tongues of angels
I do understand your ways

you my closest companion
have lived with me in my heart
through all these years and journeys
so many uncounted days

ever we dance under the sun
like branches we humbly bow
before the thrones of the stars
to please the moon, in her waking

a hushed whisper of wind
breathes into our very souls
a fire lighting a candle
a beautiful spirit in it's making

we don't need wings to fly
just feet to dance the earth
where it ever to shrivel up
become a husk and fade away

we would still dance
it's memory into the cosmos
set it in stone forever
never to crack or chip like clay

I could never be better
and always be worse
I just want to dance with you
with you until I die

to be your waltz
and the beat in your heart
the melody you play
when you start to cry

when you long for amnesia
because you can't stand
can't stand to remember
I will be the love in your eyes

the dead, the sweetest stars
inside of your broken mind
don't worry my friend
I will sing you back alive

streets aren't made for everybody
that's why they built sidewalks
you don't have to like it
just move to the right

this isn't world is for everybody
but don't you dare leave
if you don't like it
just cry through the night

what inspired me in the beginning
what were you words?
I didn't have to hear them
they just had to be felt

it's not how you talk
or what you chose to wear
it's what you have inside
no matter how it's spelt

what matters will last
no matter what the cost
days and nights you know
but this life is to fast

we live for today
you dance in the present
it' about us, in the now
not about the past

the half of you on the inside
trying to break out
break out of the bars
without the keys

sustainable on your love
always enough, just keep me high
on your level I stay there
never on my knees

though I pray as I dance
and take every chance
to know you more
please let me in

though we fight many battles
and win many wars
don't question the past
of where I've been

I live in my casket
and I died on your lips
but I would dance the world
for just one kiss
170 · Jul 2019
Opti Mistic
Lexie Jul 2019
I don't even let myself have bad days
Today is a either a good day
Or a sad day
But it is still a good day
170 · Oct 2015
Sleepless
Lexie Oct 2015
I'm a poet
I know not sleep

But I know
Your face

The way it looks
In my mind

In the early hours
Before the dawn

I can hear you call
My name in anger

You are my love
And I your stranger

Hello I whisper
To the stars

And I know they
Hear me

Even though
They are so far

I couldn't wait
For you to smile

I want to dance
To the music in your eyes

I want you
To know

My kisses are yours
And every breathe I breath

Is a gift you receive
I will not rest

While you wake
And since I am not

With you now
I cannot sleep

So your memory
Awake

I will keep
170 · Jul 2021
Blue Lavender
Lexie Jul 2021
You can see bruises
Ripening on my apple skin

I don't want you to recognize them
If you placed your palms against them
Would they fit like key-in-lock

We all have our own unique fingerprints
Mine are frost bitten
170 · Oct 2018
Chaos
Lexie Oct 2018
Even in the chaos of my mind
I try to make peace with you
170 · Jul 2019
Missing
Lexie Jul 2019
I miss you
When I'm happy
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you

I miss you
When I'm sad
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you
L*I*G*H*T*H*E*A*R*T
169 · Oct 2021
Sun Flares
Lexie Oct 2021
Do you change shape to
Slipping through these days
Liquid dreamer
Faulty against lines in the sand
You have eight faces on a round head
Only irony would permit
Octagon facets of your expression
To reflect one another
If the earth could talk
Oh the stories she would spew
Perhaps she is the only true triumphant
Yet we press against her
Resisting the way she would show us
All the love she has given
Yet, race to the moon
Love to the blue stars in the black skies
Will we tarnish them too
When we reach where their light touches
Paying no respects, giving no courtesy
To light beyond our own
We are never satisfied, never happy
With where we are
We hate the journey, fear the end
Desire to burn so bright
Pushing the super in supernova past our thermosphere
When no one in this solar system cares
And as if any creature, animal, or vegetable
In the next solar system can see your flares
When nothing matters
What do you do
How will you burn
When the exosphere will one day pull to earth
Every atom we are composed of splits
Phosphate and nitrogen sin against each other
As if it was their first day in the garden
Knowing, time is our only true forbidden fruit
169 · Mar 2016
Sweet Sorrow
Lexie Mar 2016
You have to push me
Or I will never move

You have to carry me
So I can learn to walk

Each of these past days
I have crawled back further into my shell

And if you do not reach
For me right now
I may never see the sun again

So kiss me once
For it may very well be my last

And say goodnight
To the heart you love more than you know

For the darkness comes
And I have not the strength to hide

Sweet sorrow
And oh so much fear
And every night is like a tear
168 · Feb 2014
If We Are Strong
Lexie Feb 2014
How can my words explain
The lost love and all the pain
How can my words say
That I wish I wasn't alive today
How can I show you me
Without you judging from what you see
How can you say my name
Without me remembering pain

How can my actions speak
Louder than words that are weak
How can I live for the future
When I can barely make it through today
How can I stop choking
And figure out what to say

How can my heart
Not feel so heavy in my chest
How can I give you part of me
When there is nothing left
How can a needle patch me back together
When I have been stabbed to many times
How can my nerves be strong as iron
When I have been beaten and broken
How can I turn my face to the sun
When all I see is blood

How can reason stand above emotion
When this is bigger than both of us
How can I not fall to my knees
When I am weak from lack of care
How someone love me
When they are never here
How can my tears grow a flower to blow
When all I remember is gloom

How can you smile to the sun
Why I cry under the moon
How can your eyes run dry
When I just start to cry
How can the paper get wet
When it isn't raining
How can the water leave
When it isn't draining

How can my word make sense to you
When they are all jumbled in my head
How can you face the day
While I hide in my bed
How can you rise out of the ashes
While I get whipped with so many lashes
How can a smile be so hard to bear
When not a single person can say they care

How can a candle still shine without air
When I know that this life is not fair
How can you chose me out of the others
When I try to hide in the crowd
How can you hear my voice
When everyone else is so loud

How do you see me on the ground
With a all the people milling around
How can you love me or is it just pity
When I cant break the chains or be free

How can you see me as beautiful
When all I show is a disguise
How can you say you care
When there is nothing there
How do you make me wonder at your light
Instead of crying throughout the night
How can you give my heart peace
Instead of trying to fight
How can you love a wretch
When I am not strong enough for one

How do you say I am the one
That makes you better
How can you write the songs
And I write the letters
168 · Mar 2018
A sliver of hope
Lexie Mar 2018
This is almost what I wanted
I am so sure
But still uncertain
I want to walk with you
See where the road goes
Hold my hand?
168 · Aug 2018
Blessed for a moment,
Lexie Aug 2018
It has been an honor to love you
Truly
168 · Dec 2015
Chase
Lexie Dec 2015
I run until I can't breathe
Why won't you chase me?
168 · Oct 2015
Random
Lexie Oct 2015
Those cheekbones though :p
168 · May 2014
The Girl I am Today
Lexie May 2014
Ever know a girl?
Beautiful and happy
But she tells a story
That is really sappy
It seems kinda fake
And you just shake
Your sorry head
And go alone instead
Its cause she's lying
But her head is trying
To keep above the waves
And away from the pain
And she cant tell you
Whats really making her blue
Cause if she did you would cry
And she wouldn't make it bye
168 · Sep 2014
Time
Lexie Sep 2014
Maybe underneath the crust of the earth
It's heart is beating
Not a clock
167 · Jan 2016
Hell
Lexie Jan 2016
I am burning
in a hell.

The hell of my body.

I rot from inside.

And find not one, single,

place where I can **hide.
167 · Aug 2015
My Wish
Lexie Aug 2015
To endlessly travel you limbs
Trapped between gentle layers of skin
167 · Apr 2021
Lightyears
Lexie Apr 2021
You called it grief
I will not name it differently
167 · May 2014
The Worst Word I Ever Heard
Lexie May 2014
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
The day you walked away and all I did was cry
The emotions boiled over loaded
But this love was sugar coated
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
The words I knew from your lips were lies
And I felt inside like it was over
The worst word I ever heard was goodbye
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