Sleep when we're dead
I'll be tired then too
Lover come over
Lover I lost you

We used to climb
Stairs of light together
I've done a lot of dying
Since you left
A lot of living too

Dream walkers came to me last night
Took me to the doors of death
Angels without wings
Guarding either side of the door
Singing, "to close to the water, to far from the sun, time is flowing, it cannot be undone."
I knew a friend who passed this way once
His footsteps a path I unable to follow
I turned my palms upward
Eyes in my hands searching
"With eyes to see, and ears to hear, time is ending, know no fear."
The doors opened to me
I heard Solomon singing
The only hallelujah I think God would ever want to hear
A voice made of golden threads
Looking burnt as ash
Against the steps of the throne
I pressed my forehead to the ground
Marble leeching its cold fingers into my thoughts
This is humility
To cry at the foot of God
Aching to pour out the sins of my heart onto the floor
And not one word ever leaving my lips
Will the earth ever settle again
Dust racing for the stars
An emulsion of eternity
Scouring the heavens
I to humble to mercy
To proud for regret

You brought sins of the world
Into our house
Plucked them out of fields
Of the earth
Until your basket was full

I loved you, like water
Pouring over
Into every crevice
Loving over your rough edges
Until they became smooth

Your love for me, a seed
The earth not ready to bare
A womb infertile
With the sins of those before
A catacomb of aching
And yet, when placed in my hands
The sprouts dug into my palm
Turning towards the sun

Did you know the dark
Under the stars
Before it was fearless
Before it stretched out it's wings
Sinking its teeth
Into the sun
Before the stars bowed down
To crown the heavens
In new mercies
Before I was fear
Chasing after the strength of the earth
Until it was worn out

I have a four count pulse
South, East, West, North
My head never travels in one direction Thoughts spinning around like the head of an owl
While my heart echos, who?
The quiet is never loud enough
To drown out the sea of thoughts binding themselves together like atoms
They weren't the first one's to bite the fruit
I am to far fallen from the tree
Tree of life, with roots deep enough to dig down to hell
I'm burning a fever of embarrassment
Embers I cannot cool no matter how hard I huff and I puff
In the end the wolf always eats me up
I sit silent, in his stomach, a fetal position of agony
As my sins digest me
Face to face with the inside of monster
I now know has a heart
Red and pumping
I grasp onto organs
Holding out hope for a breath of fresh air
From lungs I have never breathed before

I find new troubles
At the bottom
Of an empty cup

If you wēl not do me ròight
Donnùit do me at all
If you ærn't going to stand
With me
Let me lærn to feíl

Idle are léighm hænds
Not so a füls tóngə

Take me
To my mother's
I will not
Hold my tongue
Your sins
In my veins
She knows
What you have done

I am not one
To place my bets
On the end of the world
To put the wages of my toil
Towards the final
Breaking of the dawn
The sun may come up again
Strike no accord against me
And yet, if the darkness remains
I will be no richer, no wiser
Only colder in indifference
That you already see in me

Turn the key
Locking my teeth shut
The only way to keep secrets
Is to **** them

Found him, floating
In the river

That's two

Scrub the wood
Hard from the floor
As if it was water

Here
But lonely

Is that allowed?

Sitting by the circle of fire
Alone with coals
Ghosts will come soon
To welcome ghouls

Typically, when intoxicated
You call me
Tell me
You love me
That I will be
Your wife

Typically.

You made love to her
While your love bites
Were not yet faded
On my skin

Death comes slowly
To those that bait her
Moons rise slowly
In a sky that would taint her

When sad
I bathe
In rays
Of warmth
Pouring through
The window

Depth of longing
Not unfathomed
To see you again
Stars falling
Faster than before
Watering the sea again
I am no sailor
Of oceans or galaxies
No master of bough
I merely tremble under starlight
To know humility again

Promises last
As long as you make them
Intentions
Of promises being kept
Is a fickle measurement

This dream
Delivered me to reality
Bore me no joy
Rolling up stardust
Second yarn ball
From the sun
Unwinding reason
Spinning in the dark
When I orbit the sun
The light will touch me again

Lately, when asked, how are you?

I roll down my sleeves, hiding scars on my wrist that don't cut as deep as the words you left wringing in my head

Lately, when asked, how are you?

I wonder how quickly your promises dissipated in the mist of time when I no longer lay quiet to your objections

Lately, when asked, how are you?

I hope for you to pick up the phone, ask me yourself, find words for your emotions licking the face of friendship torn apart

I asked you to take a step back, you took two steps forward, three steps back, I dug my heels into the ground I am not moved, I am not deaf, I hold hope in my hands currently waiting for you to ignite coals that have not completely burned out, to breathe life into a husk withering before harvest, to fill a half empty glass with salty tears, to unburden yourself, you need not carry this

Be no martyr, victim, savage or fool
Be grace, be a listening ear
Find me, when I bite my tongue at foolishness, wring my hands of blood not wanting it to drip down your wrists

You shackle your hands, beseeching me for a key you hold under your tongue
I hold no ill will for you, an ounce of heartbreak on a scale you will not let be tipped in either favor
I know of the tears you cry, I feel your heart breaking
I do not know if you will accept comfort from me, accept comfort at all, pity is for fools and I am full of it

My prayers for you are sweet sleep, gentle days, birds singing in your window, wind in your hair, hope in your heart, heart in your hands
I hope these prayers find you, I hope you let them in, I hope you remember, not with tears, I hope you know joy, I hope you ask her to stay even as I have left you, not as far as I will soon be

Lately, when asked, how are you?

I hope you are well

I say your name
A prayer in the dark
The same way
Your mother gave it to you
Whispering it
Into your hair with pride
When you were born
She had heard God
Seed it into her stomach
I say it now with love
For I know no other way
It will carry us to the altar

I am a moon
Poetry is my dark side

In the crypt
Leaning against tombstones
The Devil whispers secrets I told him
Back to me through the marble slab
I was raised in the shadows of the dead
How will I hold the sun
When you no longer stand between us
Skeleton secrets, burying into the earth
The coffin knocks
It will not sound again
They dead are listening
They will rise

Allow me
To chew
My anger
Up for you
Spit it
Into your mouth

When you finally
Bite into it
It will fill you up
As it has eaten me
From the inside out
For so long

A devouring hole
I am not able to quench
I have hungered, ached
Starved for affection

You call me
To your own table
Refuse to feed me
Shaming me
For my watering mouth
I drip, saliva
You, sweet milk and honey

When I tell you
I have no kindness
Left in me
You stab your knife
Into the table
Carving up
Mahogany inhibitions

And I
Who once stood
Tall, as an oak
Proud as a pine
Begin falling
Earth of roots
Hold me again

A tree falls
In the forest
No one hears it
Did it still fall

The man
With the axe
Is deaf
I am kindling now

Hunger, thirst
Your breadcrumb trails
Bait me
Crumbs of life
Through the hourglass
Digesting your wonderment
All to quickly

Anger is a hot and cold flavor
Slip down smoothly
Only to flood
Into my fingertips
Fists of famine
Devouring

Plead guilty
For my innocence
When I am mute
I have a bad habit
Of forgetting where I am
Map of skin
Freckle islands sinking
In a pool of sweat
Salty oceans
I have no way to cross
Bridges of arms
Crumbling in uncharted waters
Mast of spine
Scoliosis of will
Tethered ligaments of indifference
Rails made of keratin
Clinging together with
Iceberg cold hands
Tearing apart
A home built
In this cave
A hollow cavern of chest
All that is left
Climbing Incan temple steps
With leviathan limbs
Up the ribcage of my back
A tower with two windows
One doorway in
I have never found a way out
Pulling vines down
Over my ears
I don't want to hear
Music anymore
A trap door tongue
Under the floorboards of my teeth
Lips nailed in submission
Captive, it won't let me out
I have no leverage
Against myself
No femur to pry
Into an iron heart
Veins and arteries wrapping themselves
Around my humourous
Metacarpal judges
Presiding over a court of ligaments
There is no connection
Cartilage sentences, unspecified
How harsh, how long
I tell you
I am innocent
Guilt tears me apart
The gavel falls
Greeting the back of my hand
Bones break
Calcium powder
Mixing with marrow
I am innocent
I am broken
I will heal

We feel
In the trenches

They say
When in Rome
But I don't think
I could crucify God

Palms nailed
Side lanced
I am not one
To beg forgiveness

Not one
To fall on my knees
Not one
To forgive

Nothing
He would not do for me
Nothing
I would not ask of him

I mourn your death
As a betreyal
When I look down
The hammer
Is in my hand

You blame
The church
For sins of man

Hold accountable
The temple
Not the hands

The alter
For its silence

The tabernacle
For curtains
To thick to unveil
The sins of a saint

A holy of holies
Torn
Two pieces of cloth
One for a funeral shroud
The latter a sail for a ship
To hell's gates

You beg
For anything, nothing
There are no promises
On bleeding ground

A pilgrimage
Of swords
Not confessing
A holy war

My grandmother
Had a different name
Before I was born
She will not die with it

I write about temples
My feet
Will never be clean enough to enter

Sins
I cannot wash off my hands
Heaven's
I pray my children will know
Hell's
I carry
On broken shoulders

I do not want you
To know the weight

Not your burden
To bear
My cross to carry

In the tomb
Of my ancestors
The stone
Rolled away

The kingdom is yours

Red flags are the asterisk next to your name, footnotes I am to careless to read.

We **** for chaos
Die for peace
Live to fast
Lies threaded between our teeth

I love the world
More than I should
I understand
I am a perfect person

To be used
Used up
Until I am dry
Giving
Until I am spent
Hoping
Until I am hopeless
Hoping
When all is said and done
You are a better man

Let the lights
Burn out
All my fears
All my doubts
Hold me now
Nothing matters anymore

If I ask
You to chose me
There is no choice at all
It has already been made
Made for you

As the sun goes down
It is over
Refusing to fight
I'm no soldier
For broken hearts
No warrior
Of chastity

Go
And be gone
Rubble of our lives
Not worth
Funeral pyres

Wait
Tell me
Tell me you believe
In love
Dreams
That good poeple exists
That you could be one
Let us remember
Vividly
So when we
Ourselves
Are forgotten
Guilt will find us
More easily
Than the hands
You used
To press your love
Into me
Skin broken
As your promises

Such is life
Temptations
Are not my actions
I am human
I love the world
More than I should
Things in it
Not so good for me

Eyes to see
Ears to hear
No room for fear

Those above
And those below
Some stay
Some never go

The world will see me
She will not know me

I tell you it bothers me, mine
Shake my head
Tears in my eyes
Say it's fine
You didn't set boundaries
She crosses the line
You say you love me
I say more
I wonder so much
How we have so little time

Praying for answers
Begging for silence
We thought
Heaven was high
Here we are falling

Jazz tip lips
Black and mild lungs
Smoke words
The haze swallows up
Hungry still
Burning now
Light me up

I miss you
When I'm happy
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you

I miss you
When I'm sad
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you

you said, we are running out of time
makes me wonder
if we ever had any at all

the music stops
when you need it most
singing under your breath
out of tune
hoping for miracles
hoping
for miracles
soon

I am soft
Anger found me
I let it move on
It is not for me
Beneath me
Hot coals
Under my feet

Anger came again
Liquid in my veins
I let it run
Waterfalls out my eyes
A current away
Not walking with me
Stumbling behind

I found anger
Clenched in my jaw
Settling between knuckles
And metacarpals of my hands
Slammed into the wall
Glass shards on the floor
Let it stay there
Art, reminder
Pity

Anger found me
I spoke to her by name
She seduced me
With the lull of her voice
I lay here now
Barren of grace
Swollen with fury
Fire in my eyes
This is the time
I will burn
Burn out
There will be no rekindling
Only ashes on the walls

he is coals, almost unburning

I, grass, covered in dew

we lay, in the earth

until the sun makes us new

We are empty souls
Screaming in the abyss
Do you remember me
Voices thought buried
Dig themselves up
Unearthed again
A haunting
Cheap as ****** in the street
Cobblestone streets
Holding liquor penance
Splicing together
The history of our remnance
Ghosts thinner than walls
Lighting up lanterns
In the street
Moaning
This is the way
Will you follow me
Do you remember me
Am I nothing to you
Only paper towns and matches
Dry kindling to memory
Flames waltzing
To tunes older than love
Ivory keys remember
Being elephants
When they were younger
And the world
Not so at sorts
Children in the street
Recognizing more tongues
Than their own
Witches singing in an alley
Do you know me
When I held you on my knee
Do you remember
Spells whispered into water
Washing away sorrow
Sins
And memory