I wake each morning from my bed
Trying to subdue the pain in my head

I hold my wrist that does still burn
Will I ever learn

The fire is always stronger
The pain is always longer

The flames reach for my soul
Leaving a burning smoking hole

I cant control this flame
It hurts more than the sting of a cane

In a world all its own
In a world all alone

The fire has its own will
Against a voice small and shrill

It smokes and screams
Against the demons

It is a dark force that still shines bright
A force that haunts me through the night

In the dark I am an elf
Hidden by cloak and dagger

In the light my eyes will glaze
And ears will fade
And voice will change

In the dark I am an elf
Covered with my hair so long

In the light I am just human
I am short
I am real

Shove your old self in a bag
Tie your mouth with a gag
Pretend to be real
Take it all, steal

Hide the reality
Put it away don't let it be free
Become another person
Pull a con

I like being sick cause then I loose weight
I can ignore the pain and ignore the hate

I cant separate the joy from confusion
I don't want to be another tool that you are using

I mark my calendar days crossing off each one
Waiting for the year to end wanting it to be done

Your words mix and jumble in my head
I am dying inside when I should be living instead

I am rising like a storm at sea
Waiting till I am strong enough to set myself free

I rage and boil and smoke inside
I remember all the other times I tried

I failed back then will I fail now
I stand in a room with a throne will I bow

I fall to my knees and utter my shame
I will hurt and take my blame

I speak like rain and poisoned drops
I want the sky to fall and not stop

It comes slow and it comes fast
I need it now it must last

I am lost on tiles of black
Wanting to look back

I am floating on tiles of white
Hidden, hiding in a curtain of fright

Its on a board smooth to touch
But the special effects are to much

Its a court a court of shame
And I will always take the blame

Seven billion people know
Seven billion let me go

They watch my show
They watched me grow

My mother is the one they want
But to reach her they must get through

They want my touch, they want my money
But they aren't getting any honey

I have diamonds in my hair
And riches everywhere

But I want it just to be
Just mother and just me

Without fame without crowds
Without the people screaming loud

Entitled to fame
A popular name
So much gain
Lost on a train
Going in one direction
People give the wrong directions

I dress to impress
And press in and on

I've talked on T.V.
But I am trapped never free

Let me go just let me be
Alone and forever just God and me

Locked inside
Hidden from
Hiding the pieces
Waiting for my cue

Locked away
Keeping still
Sitting silent on my own
Burning down to the bone

Dreams so sweet dream so scary
Filled with visions in my head
I'm so afraid to go to bed
I'd rather stay up all night with you instead

Don't go to sleep
Talk with me
Cut the bonds
Set me free

Am I really pretty
You say I'm beautiful
Is it just a mask I wear
To hide the fear

My hair is long and true
But it shields my face from you
Maybe I cant handle the pressure
Maybe I don't want the lecture

I want a touch soft and gentle
In a world so elemental
Watch my faces see the lines
Untie that ropes that hold and bind

They think I'm tough
They think I'm strong
They never knew all along

I'm so alone I'm so afraid
I don't have enough strength to be brave

Why do you want me dead?
I just lie and cry instead

I ravage my body
I feed the pain
Why do so many people know my name
I didn't want this kind of fame

You hit me and you hit hard
I'm playing my last card

I don't want to live this life
I'll just end it with a knife

You only say you sorry when I'm gone
You only say you cared when I'm gone

I have no tomorrow
I know only pain and only sorrow

You hurt my body but you broke my spirit
And I can't ever repair it

I made mistakes I did the wrong
I made it look like I was strong

My body bleeds in places
Cutting for all the angry faces

Why do I deserve this fate
I move from state to state

No mothers love can ease this now
No father can kiss my brow

I am alone without a friend
I will never ever mend
Don't you care
Don't you know
This is how my life will end

With memories of what could have happened
But I'm blocked by pain and many hands
Just to hurt not help me stand

With one word and one command
They hit me now with blows so hard
I lay in silence I'll just listen

I drink the cup of poison
Will I die today

Dear God take me
Take me now I pray

Only when I'm gone
Will you say your sorry

Only when I'm gone
Will you listen to my story

Only when my body is the ground
Will you hear my voice crying out loud

When I cant see the sun
For fear of recognition

When my stone stands tall and is marked with words
Like the blade marks in my skin
My body is cold my body is thin

Only when I'm gone
Only when I'm gone
Will you see the beauty and pain within

A child shivers in the cold
Watching the fire inside

A daughter with a broken heart
Stays far away from comfort

A son with wounded pride
Seeks no comfort from his bride

A mother watches her children hurt
Wanting to draw them close to heart

A father with many a child
Not knowing which is hurting more

A God in the sky watching his people
Seeing the pain and saying 'asking and it shall be given unto you'
'knock and the gates shall be opened'

Don't you run and don't you hide
From the Lord in the skies

Just one drop of water on the roof of shame
Just one drop sliding down my window pane
Just one drop falling from my eye
Just one drop saying goodbye

Just one tear on my silent face
Just one tear taking your place
Just one tear that is silent and cold
Just one tear alone and bold

Just one drip falling up the hill
Just one drip silent and still
Just one drip standing for the burn
Justo one drip to teach and to learn

Just one bead on a soaked string
Just one bead wanting for nothing
Just one bead on its own path
Just one bead running oh so fast

Just one drop hiding from the sun
Just on tear still on the run
Just on drip falling from a star
Just one bead tell me where you are

When a heart breaks it doesn't split in to
And your mother cant fix it not with glue
I don't want chocolate or any other food
I don't want to come across as rude

I just need love and I need time
I broke my heart when I signed the dotted line
I crossed on a broken bridge
And was left falling from a ridge

I fell long and I fell hard
And when I hit the bottom I saw stars
I didn't hear your voice cause I was all alone
I fell hard just like a sinking stone

I was trapped in a room no window or door
And I curled into a ball and slept on the floor
I lay like that for a long time
Like a sleeping mime

I was kept in a box
No key no lock
I need to escape
Without a single scrape

I cut my arms
I bruised my legs
I hurt my heart
And burned my head

Its all your fault I'm not okay
I didn't think love would end this way

I see so many colors
In a world of black in white

I see a land of peace
Though all I do is fight

I fell the wind on my face
But its nothing but broken glass

I thought it wouldn't take long
But all it does is last

Cursed to walk this evil place
Cursed to bear the weight of the world

I'll take your pain and I'll take your sorrow
And I'll carry it for you until tomorrow

I'll brace myself and I'll speak in your tongue
But just remember I am only one

Love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't hit

Then why did you tell me it did
I chose to believe
And you chose to leave

I am left alone stranded in a tree
With no one here to comfort me

The oldest trick in the book
Is to look over there

But why would I do that
When you are right here

I want what is real
And what's in front of me

Stay the night
And hold my hand

And in the morning
Help me stand

Am I the only one
Who doesn't give a ****

I don't care what you say
And I don't care to which gods you pray

No matter the color of your skin
No matter how fat or how thin

I don't care about your height
To me it doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right

Cant we just be real
Rather than lie cheat and steal

Cant we just be real
Before I have nothing left to feel

You bruise my body
And you cut my soul
You **** me dry
And tell me fie

I cant live this life
I cant bear this pain

I don't want your hug
I don't know you name

Your hurting me on purpose
Why do you want my life

Your hurting me on purpose
Stopping ruining my life

I just want to see and understand
The beauty in life I can hold in my hand

Its never enough to know the past
I need the now
I must know how

I want the rush I need the fire
I have so much unfilled desire
I seek the means to and end
I want a road without bend

I hate feeling numb
I try to act dumb
I need the sweet sip of revenge
I have many a reason to avenge

I have my reasons and you have yours
I've spent to much time behind oaken doors

I smell the pines and the smoke
But hide my smile behind a dark blue cloak

I write in my book
But let no one look

I thought if I told you all my problems
Then they would go away

But no they only blossom
They stop and they stay

Go away go away
Don't come back any day
Make a way make a way
Stop standing in the fray

Walk your path
Lead your life

I use them over and over again
Some mean nothing
Some have depth

I yell some
I shout others

I whisper them in the dark

The comforting sounds

The peaceful noises

They fill my head

Some alive some dead

Some filled with horror

Some filled with dread

Some people I wish would just use actions instead

The waters between.
The sky and earth.
The wind that races clouds.
Pushing pounding and burning.
Heat of sun on warm sand.
Nothing I cant handle nothing I cant stand.

Waiting for dawn to break the sky
Waiting for truth to fight the lie

Kissing someone you love goodbye

Pain and longing to see that face
To find where you belong a special place

You may be alone
But you are the one that chose to leave me

I want you back but if you'd ask I'd say no
I had to learn to let you go

Its not easy saying goodbye
But better than believing your lie

I don't think your love is worth a second try
I'd rather be alone and die

The pictures on the wall
Remind me of the past
I need only one look one last glance

A second name
A second life
A second chance

Be careful where you tread
Gently place your feet
Or you may fall to a dark place
Where the demons dwell

Be cautious my friend
Or you will know my hell

Have me hold your hand
Justify the means
If we go together
If we might make it through

But in this desolate place
I don't know what to do

If you fall then I will fail to
Cause this life means nothing without you

Step gently, tread softly, hold your breath, and count to ten

Make a wish, wake the dead
We fight though we cannot fly
But in this wasteland
The least we can do is try

We stand on crumbling floors reaching down to depths
If we fall, when we fall from above Hell to a thin paper veil

It was the first of September
A day to remember
The school yard is broken in
Nails on a chalk board scrape

***** running feet
Slowly answered questions
Marking grades
Cheating mistakes

It was the last of the first
Ready to quench the thirst
Maybe I will learn
Maybe I wont

But I'll walk the path
And drag my feet

Ready or not here I come

Every time we kiss
The strings slowly tighten

Every time we touch
Those strings are strengthened

Every time you walk away
I catch my breath

Every time you shadow fades
The strings cut deep like blades

When I am alone I am weak
When I am with you the strings are strong

You string me alone
You hold my hand

I am tied in knots
My strings are long

But all I want is to sing your song
I'll let you play my strings I'll let you pull
Cause I can trust you because you will never let me go

Stop the train
Cut the engine
Let the coal fall from the shovel
I need to go back
In order to fix my future
I need to turn around

I'll tell you how I feel
I don't care if I never heal
I'll stop every arrow
I'll block every blow
I just need to tell you
So that you can know

I loved you. I love you. And I always will.

The dimension of time
The constrains of the clock
Constantly going tick and tock

Birds in the sky
Life in air
But set a scale
That's always there

The length, the love
The silent beauty
Radiant, covered by duty

The dress and the flowers
All just a show
Dreading the night
And where it will go