i used to cradle her bleach-cracked hands in mine
and decode the stardust resting within her fingerprints
     up until the day that i lost touch with the art of reading braille
     and she stopped slinging tall-tales for me to fetch
and rest the plot-twist at her feet

often in the post-script
i'd find my train of thought highjacked by the sunlight illuminating the rainbow of earth-tones ablaze
in her frizz-ridden curls
as if she'd been washing her hair with the damaged case of beer
she'd gotten for half-price at liqour depot
     she never did quit drinking
          but neither did i

at least we tried

though sometimes
in the middle of the night when nothing was alright
and we'd barely survived another fight
her face would catch my glance
cast aglow by a flood of lava-lamp light
    
     the sea of freckles resting at the crest of her cheeks
     rose lips perma-pursed in half tilt
     her resting heart-rate so high that i could almost see it
          pirouetting within her chest

it was then that i'd love her best
     amidst the ruins of who we were
     just moments before

nobody warns you about the first boy who tells you he wants to marry you.

nobody warns you about the tangible shift in the universe when he parts his lips to smile.

nobody warns you about the poetry he'll write you or how your knees will weaken or the melancholy hidden between the layers of his laughter.

nobody warns you that miles will morph into lightyears and you will curse the ocean for being the only thing that keeps his fingers from resting between yours.

nobody warns you about the day his sweater doesn't smell like him anymore.

nobody warns you that human hands are incapable of holding a person together.

nobody warns you that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much you wish it was.

nobody warns you about the crippling nostalgia that renders you breathless.

nobody warns you about the nights when silence screams for your blood.

nobody warns you about the crater that forms in your chest in the middle of the night when he doesn't answer.

nobody warns you about how it's going to feel when he tells you he's in love with someone else.

nobody warns you that forever is a lie.

- m.f.

What spirit drives the thunderbolts?
Whence comes the fury of the rivers,
What feeds the winds, what fount
Supplies the immeasurable ocean?
What pathway of the sun hastens
Or draws out the course of night?
Long have my own birds sung my doom,
And tears bedewed my face,
Reflecting tracks remaining in heaven,
And the zephyrs path gleams bright.
‘Tis you, forever, and always,
My true delight!

I thought that I loved you
but the problem was
you didn't

His hands aren't as big as yours
And his eyes are a different shade of brown
But I usually see him only at night time
So I can't really tell

His lips just aren't as sweet as yours
And his kisses don't get me high
I look at him and I'm still on the ground
But when I look at you
I'm flying, I can touch the sky.

His voice doesn't give me chills
His words don't give me closure
I'm laying right next to him skin on skin
But its you that I wish I was close to

There's no emotion
There's no connection
Into your heart
Is where I need directions

I can't seem to get to you
I can't seem to make you smile
I seem to hang around too long
Even though its not worth my while

He doesn't get to me like you do
He can not heal the pain you caused
Now you're gone forever
Onto better things
The best thing in life
I have lost

Nothing hurts like
Being shot into the reality
Of not being loved
By the one you adore
The only one you want
The one you'd set yourself on fire for
Or drown in the sea for

Oh how he made my bones crack
And my heart slow down
When he told me to go
For I'm not the one who makes
Him smile
So mine surely faded
And will not return until he does

I'm tired of holding up my head
When it surely belongs resting
on his chest
I'm tired of playing this untuned piano
Until my fingers are numb
As my tears stream down my face
And form a puddle on the keys

I'm tired of this agony
And the weight of heartbreak
Weighing me down

I can hardly breathe
And I'm now left shattered on the ground
And now I realize
I should have caught myself
And I never would have fallen