I thought
When my body went out to the forest
It would become one with the soil
Rotting and rotting
Decomposing every ache and blunder it has ever held
Intricately blended into Earth's webbing
Finally, I am soft

You told me once
Of when you prayed for bread
Acid rain came down that day
I then learned of reality

If I go into the woods tonight
Will I smell another mans smoke
Or am I so greatly delusioned
To truly believe I am alone

These monsters come and go
My chest a revolving door
A heart hotel
A coffin of nightmares

Angels speak, I do not listen
Prayers quiver in the morning air
I am not there
Not patient enough to wait

Scars on my back spread
Along my limbs
Vines growing on a brick wall
Neither of us will ever find heaven

I never shut up about the moon
She's always there
How I do love her company
When I'm making myself out to be lonely

Is it wrong to assume
Stars are another worlds
Parking lot lights
I don't have all the answers

I find no humor
In the irony of doing what's right
As we go along
I find I was betraying my future

When will I learn
Trying to love this way
Is like trying to dance
With a broken leg

Even after I pass
I will not of told
All the stories in me
They are in bones

I call you foolish mortals
Take it as praise
I will not even name my self
There is great folly in wisdom

If only happiness
Was as aggressive
As the pain
I hold space for

Bury me shallow
In the autumn floor
I hold myself no greater
That the earth

I cry out under the heavens
The veil is thinning
How do you deny
The pulse of the spirit world

Know me now
But not my name
She is the secret whisper
In the thickest of your veins

Maybe once we would have lived
Thriving on the chaos
Hand fed to us by the universe
We were foolish then

Someday wisdom will come to us
We will not know her face
Fair chance she is already among us
Thinly veiled

Do you remember
The first time you smoked
The way it stopped in your throat
How it brought your stomach up

Know when I think of you
It is the same for me
You are a bitter tar taste
I light you up again

Only to spit you out
You coat my tongue
The inside of my cheeks
With your black smoke veil

I asked for depth
You delivered
I cannot back out now
There is no where but up

Those in the dark
Beg for light
Those in the shadow
Wish to stay hidden

I am the ***** sinner
In the bathroom
Trying to scrub myself clean
Of smoke and saints

I was warned
The path of the traveler
For those with thick soles and thicker skin
Thick souls and thinner whims

I set out like a dead man on a quest
Like a fool
With my best foot forward
Not knowing which was is South

You prayed me greener pastures
I just prayed for you
Here we are
Hollow promises, hearty prayers

We ache for what we had
Knowing fruit in the sun
To quickly turns bad
Sour sugar in the soil

finding safety again
can be harder than it seems

Deep calls to deep
Do you truly not hear me
I have been silent for so long
Drifting apart
We ran parallel once
Thin white lines on the horizon
We burned out like space junk
Not shooting stars
Or candle flames or time
It seems we hold nothing forever
Whatever passes through
Our empty hands try to grasp
Seems so permanent
Are we this disillusioned
Perhaps it was just water
Perhaps we never held love for each other
Perhaps it was currents pulling us along
Perhaps we knew it would end
Because there was no true substance
Perhaps we called out to the depths
They answered us with the sound of our own name
And we were much too afraid to hear it
Let me go, we are above this, it has gone out with the height of the tide

You were not meant to carry my burdens
Though if you knew of them you so scarcely gave it second thought before stacking them on your shoulders
You were not meant for this weight
Were you not told
Even Angel's long to look into these things
They have wings
Bird's have hollow bones
You and I are heavy and full and soft
Or we were before
Now we are separate
And not the same

You called it grief
I will not name it differently

we are both lost
so comfortable with losing
now as the world spins
in the same direction as before
our paper ambitions
turn themselves inside out
passing like aging stars
burning across the sky
I know a brighter fire
burns in you
I placed it there
before we even thought
of the beginning of time
before amens whispered
on the backs of prayers
when heavens womb
was full of hope
before we gave up
all the glimmering shadows
that slipped through our souls
like water through a child's cupped hands
the ways of the world
brought me to this ledge
you will push me
to remind me of my myself
of my loving for flying
the promise of gravity
and the certainty of an end