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Hala K Jul 2015
Movies are my passion, the thing I love to do, the thing I enjoy to an extent. People ask me why I am wasting my time sinking into the ineffective fantasy world of the movies instead of enjoying the dignified life of reality. Not many people understand my undying affection for this compelling activity of entertainment.  What they do not know is that the real world isn’t actually the real deal. It is a test, an absorbing guidance into the perfect afterlife or the anguishing heartbreak into the tormenting hell. It is their choice which one they choose. It is like the reality of realities in the movie of The Matrix or the corruption and sadness of the desolation of The Titanic. It may be the realness of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen distressingly fighting for her life or the adventures of Shailene Woodley as Tris, loosing loved ones on her way. It could be the fans in the movies, screaming upon their idols or the hatred in the jealous, briskly spreading through the town. The inspiration is overwhelming and the education comes from the films, not from the institution they call school. The alive are in the fantasy and the real are in reality. They don’t understand the goodness that has not been seen in the life they call real.
I feel like
Someone is sitting on me
Pushing me down
So I don’t feel relaxed
I want Patrick Enright
To leave me alone
To stop pushing me down
I want to feel cool
I want to feel relaxed
I want to have fun
Sometimes I feel it is my hooligan
Going from giving me itchy feelings
But suffocating my body
I feel Patrick is pushing the
Hooligan into me
Sometimes I feel
It is the fact that it is my cholesterol
Which could be causing it
Or it could be old time hooligans
Pushing me down
When I hop into the shower
Patrick said you are stuck
You are losing your energy
I don’t want fucken old time hooligans
Pushing me down
It could by skin cancer I have on my lip
**** I will be glad to get that off my lip
You see it could also be me just having
A schitzophrenic panic attack
I feel like god is pushing me down
Everyone is giving me an anxiety attack
Please stop please stop please stop
I feel like I am going to drop my phone
Lord knows I dropped my glasses
I had to reach over as I am having
My panic attacks
I Brain is weak my hand is dropping
Everything
I feel like I will want to use the seroquel
To push it away
But I am not like frank Woodley
Saying the panic attack olympics
The suicidal javelin
Making having a panic attack
Being an Olympic sport
Sometimes I feel like
I was feeling like I did in 2004 and 2013
Both years I went to the psych ward
I was excercising and I had weird dillusions
In which I didn’t want to get rid of
I feel like saying
**** ******* DROP DEAD
I watch the Sheffield shield cricket
Where records are being broken every day
I sometimes feel like getting a panic attack
When my carer always quotes me
Like when I say a family of musicians
Is just like mine
He will say did they put a guitar in your hand and play it
I said there are other reasons why
They are like my family
Politicians are driving me crazy
The coronavirus is driving me crazy
End of next year is the possible start to the vaccine but there is no proof the vaccine has been found
Trainers telling you to go to bed early
But deep down he just wanted to
Stay up and play with the kids
And now he is in gaol
Suffering oh suffering
But he needs to change
He needs to learn that talking to kids online
Is wrong
Very very wrong
Last night I watched Halloween concerts
You see covid can’t stop people from having fun @ Halloween
Please stop pushing me down
RIGHT NOW

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