The Lake Pontchartrain Causeway… man that’s one long bridge
I drive it every day for my pay - here’s what I see along the way
Here comes:
Corvette Kary, setting pace, he thinks he’s in a race
When Kary’s not waxing his ride, for your safety you'd best pull aside
Petrified Patty, she’s over water and has never learned how to swim
She’s driving a white Lexus, so scared she has no reflexus
Miata Mike, chasing Kary's Vette, not gonna get too far
Trying to convince himself, he didn’t buy a girly car
Watch out for:
Makeup Mary, on cruise-control, wow she’s one of the worst
She loves her new Camry, but her next car might just be a hearse
Yes, that Causeway, can be a long and boring ride
And if you get a flat… there’s no place to pull aside
Oh but that Causeway has its points, take time to see
24 miles of entertainment, and the Northbound way is free
Here comes:
Road Rage Randy, always ****** and he doesn't know why
Today he’s running late, but finds time to escalate
Doughnut Danny, rolling breakfast and a tea
Such mechanized efficiency, has a newspaper on his knee
Wackin Wayne, you're kidding me, you thought I couldn't see? Vibrating Virginia close behind, now we have equality
We've got:
Maypop Marty, thinks tires last forever
Does he even check the air?.... never
Mark The Spark needs a muffler shop, something heavy about to drop. Comes Innocent Mike on his motorbike too bad he just couldn't stop.
Headphone Harry and his Pandora, he's here but also... he's not. He likes his music best, you see, after a few long tokes of his ***.
Fugitive Fred on the go, at 65 point ooo. Not a mile to fast or to slow, got to blend in on this bridge don't you know.
Yes that old Causeway, can be a long and boring ride
And if you get a flat… there’s no place to pull aside
Oh but that Causeway, has its points, take time to see
The mechanized circus on parade, our hilarious humanity
Don’t forget:
Frozen Frita, every rainstorm stops her dead in her track
Then here comes Ramin’ Ron, goin 60, aint too good for her back
No Tie-down Tim, **** flyin’ out of his truck
For everyone behind him, Tim doesn’t give a ****
NPR Nancy, she must be in a “Driveway Moment”
Only problem is, she’s on a god-**** bridge
Texting Theresa, I’ve saved the best for last
The last thing in life she did see, was an idiotic emoji
Lookin’ Lee, that’s me, pretty sad that I’m just as bad
Come join us nuts on the Causeway, might be the most fun you ever had
