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Zeeb Jan 9
Rat-a-tat Bumpstock, Gadsden on his truck, so easily
led by his nose
Has a dip and a beer with an old friend dear
Let's listen-in and see what we hear

"It's your turn to shoot"
"I think I got **** on my boot"
"Did you get a deer this season?"

Shot a doe just last week, said the sporting man
She was eating corn right in front of my stand

Did you see on the channel this morning
That story about the wedding cake?
Don’t get me started, said Rat-a-Tat
Okay, go ahead, what was Sean’s take?

He said in a town there’s this baker-man
Who believes in Jesus, just like you and me
Then “ding” went the bell as his shop-door opened
You won’t believe what then he did see
Tat it was two men holding hands, dear God, and they said that they wanted to wed
The baker, now personally offended, tossed them out on their ******* heads

Wow such courageous action, said Tat, and from a man who bakes at that!
To the baker and other imbeciles of the world, went a tip of Tat's oily red hat

As not to be outdone by Tat
Came a second salute to the cretins
A loud ****, a belch and a spit of brown pinch
So common to people like that

That reminds me of your son, ole' Tat - did he get his first deer this year?
He did, he did, and we did what we do
Just like your dad and your grandpa before you

He dragged that deer back through the mud, then we smeared his face with its blood

I told my young son he could keep the gun, but for that there would be a few rules
Starting with no more drugs, and for sure his *** back in school

What else has been going on, ole' Tat?  On that, please do, tell me
A doctor’s visit I think you said, fill me in while I **** on this tree
It went well, I’d say, let’s put it this way
I  got my disability  

Meanwhile, back in the city

Huff and Puff elliptical man, tunes-in, to his friend on the screen
“What’s this about a deep-state?”, he asked
Pray tell me just what does it mean

I’ll tell you HP, said Huff no. 2
An extra-governmental plan
To give DOJ the power they need
To take away our man

That if we are not careful, the media will gain
Too much power, he said
Their power, he said
Is causing all our pain

"****-right ****-right", said Huffy
If we don't vote smartly today
We may find ourselves with a president
Doing just what the media say

And did you see on the channel this morning
That story about the wedding cake?
Don’t get me started, said Huff no. 1
Okay, go ahead, what was Sean’s take

He said in this town is a baker
Who stands against all that we hate
That the libs and the dems have agenda
It is we they wish to subjugate

"You know it, you know it", said Huffy
The'll tax us, they have no humility
The'll take all our hard-earned money
And pay it out on fake disability
Zeeb Dec 2018
I must have worked here too long.  Seems everyone is younger, and I know very few.  But I know what to do.  I’ll walk by that door, try hard and I'll hear, the voices and the laughter of those once held dear.

I must have lived here too long.  No one for coffee, or cake, or small talk – think I’ll take a walk.
Should I say hello and smile to the new couple and their child?

I must have missed some kind of a ship.  Everyone has sailed away, or did they?
Zeeb Sep 2018
Black binders beside the linac, speak of those most ill
A daily transit I do make, and passing by, a look I take

There’s Mrs. Smith and Mr. Brad
My childhood friend’s Mom and Dad

Each will have their turn in the beam
In desperate hopes to be redeemed

And who'll be next on the cancer roll-call?
******* it, ******* it, seems like us all
Zeeb Jul 2018
The Lake Pontchartrain Causeway… man that’s one long bridge
I drive it every day for my pay - here’s what I see along the way

Here comes:
Corvette Kary, setting pace he’s in a race
When Kary’s not waxing his ride, we all have to pull aside

Petrified Patty, she’s over water and she can’t swim
She’s driving a white Lexus, so scared she has no reflexus

Miata Mike, chasing Kary, not gonna get too far
Trying to convince himself, he didn’t buy a girly car

Watch out for:
Makeup Mary, on cruise-control wow she’s one of the worst
She loves her new Camry, but her next car might just be a hearse

Yes, that Causeway, can be a long and boring ride
And if you get a flat… there’s no place to pull aside
Oh but that Causeway has its points, take time to see
24 miles of entertainment, and the Northbound way is free

Here comes:
Road Rage Randy, always ****** and he doesn't know why
Today he’s running late, but finds time to escalate

Doughnut Danny, a rolling example of efficiency
A cream-filled and a coffee, and a newspaper on his knee

Wackin Wayne, you’ve got to be kidding me
Vibrating Virginia, now we have equality

We've got:
Maypop Marty, doesn’t know that tires wear out

Mark the spark, man go find a muffler shop

Headphone Harry, has no clue the cops are behind

Fugitive Fred, on the go 65 point 000

Yes that old Causeway, can be one long and boring ride
And if you get a flat… there’s no place to pull aside
Oh but that Causeway, has its points, take time to see
The mechanized circus on parade, our hilarious humanity

Don’t forget:
Frozen Frita, every rainstorm stops her dead in her track
Then here comes Ramin’ Ron, goin 60, aint too good for her back

No tie-down Tim, **** flyin’ out of his truck
For everyone behind him, Tim doesn’t give a ****

NPR Nancy, she must be in a “Driveway Moment”
Only problem is, she’s on a god-**** bridge

Texting Theresia, I’ve saved the best for last
The last thing in life she did see, was an idiotic emoji

Lookin’ Lee, that’s me, pretty sad that I’m just as bad
Come join us nuts on the Causeway, might be the most fun you ever had
Zeeb Jul 2018
New Orleans has its Oaks, the most beautiful in the world
The Oaks they had an occupant, little squawky squirrel
Squawky squirrel stepped out one day, cross the street he made his way
And if he hadn’t changed his mind, he’d still be here today

The widow sweet Ms. Peters, did receive a call
From a handsome gentleman, who went by the name of Paul
Ms. Peters had been interested, in Paul’s cautious advance
But decided she would wait a while, not to take a chance
Now Paul has found his one and only
Ms. Peters spends her nights quite lonely

Oh yes the case of the pretty pilot
Just seventeen in a flying machine
The weather turned black so she headed back
But her boyfriend intervened

Now close if I may - here's what I say
Trust yourself - the odds break your way
Zeeb Jul 2018
Tool of desperate confrontation
Object of pride for a grateful nation
In Baton Rouge on the mighty river
Kidd rests proudly
376' length overall,  Fletcher Class destroyer
Like every ship, of oil she does smell
When I boarded her, she had something to tell

I was with a scoutmaster, my son and the boys
Concerned with their fun, and the making of noise
But late in the night, as quiet set in
Kidd started whispering, to my within

She spoke of the men who gave up their lives
Their children, their girls, the tears of their wives
Thirty-eight men, in fiery fuel
****'s agony touched, a death so cruel
Fifty-five more, burned badly that day
Defending our country, our homage we pay
Visiting sailors will stand at attention
… and for a young Kamikaze, scarcely a mention

The big war was over, Kidd passed her test
Now to San Diego, for a permanent rest
But as men will prescribe, it didn’t last long
Kidd went back into action, near Korea’s Kaesong

When in Baton Rouge, you can visit the Kidd
If you’re bold, listen carefully, just as I did
You'll get half of the story, the rest we don't know
The men who have fallen, to Kidd's mighty blow

Let's set now a new tone and have us some fun
The Kidd's crew were pirates but they didn't run ***

Those flat-tops were fancy, their flyers elite
In the galley was ice-cream, their reward and their treat
When a pilot was downed, Kidd quickly steamed
Then radioed the skipper, "your man for  ice-cream"
Zeeb Jul 2018
Bumbling around with a Honda 160
It’s got spark, it’s got fuel; why won’t it start?

Busting our knucks on plugs points and condensers
Rusty Chevys and Fords, all handed down

Out from infinity comes Bruce on a 2-******!
A loud screaming blur with a long trail of blue smoke
His hair was pinned back, tears were streaming from eye
What a thrill he was having, didn't care if he'd die

“What the **** was that?” We wanted to know
The new Kawasaki, WFO

The fastest machine then in production
For American boys it was instant seduction
A low flying chain-saw, built for one thing
It had a new sound, “Ring ding ding ding”
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