357

God is a distant—stately Lover—
Woos, as He states us—by His Son—
Verily, a Vicarious Courtship—
“Miles”, and “Priscilla”, were such an One—

But, lest the Soul—like fair “Priscilla”
Choose the Envoy—and spurn the Groom—
Vouches, with hyperbolic archness—
“Miles”, and “John Alden” were Synonym—

1
**I like your light makeup,
mangled logic that never
served its intended purpose,
the svelte figure that creates
an awareness indelible on proportion,
and the intelligence you have
to keep it just as petite
all through the years
the out law male chauvinist, that  lurks in me is pleased,
lopsided analysis of contemporary affairs
you make,  allows me
to intervene, put you back to the track.
I dig the coiffure that makes the birds think,
its their nest, newly built.
Your purple prose I learned to like,
as it gets more and more evocative.
Syrupy songs you write, and sing
used to get one bored easily
no more, your emotions now are
more rooted and move me very much.

you know better than any one, how much I love bitter concoctions you cook.
2
But then
I realize that the cadence you create is unique,
you look life at its *** and frown,
your poems though rare, show plenty of evidence
of quirky charm, which I like.
Your weepy stories and convoluted plots too
I learned to like, all these are just habits, right?
They bear a stamp of your originality I can vouch,
love your starry eyes when each is filled with admiration,
for me in those special moments,
when I pull you out of quagmires
time after time.
3
I can't take eyes off your face,
exuding such innocence,
that vouches your genuineness,
each time that assures me that
you cannot ever be bad,
unless you want to portray
yourself that way cleverly.
Though not my cup of tea,
I love the gizmo culture you love,
your craze for computer games,
(though bit bizarre at this age!)
I enjoy it and get fascinated when you go too far.
You love to make love in the dark,
I later learned to appreciate  its tactile advantages,
and encouraged you unleash the panther in you, on me
though I love to do it with lights on
so that we can see the rainbow
the moment it spreads on ,
till it dissipates and we dive deep in to sleep.
4
You touched my depth in a way different,
made it possible to love the woman you are-
the way you are,  I love it
because, you are unique,with all imperfections
together we are complete.

I'm way past my bedtime
Losing balance, veering to the right
Before I hit the wall
Or the cabinet or the floor
Where did this jelly come from?
I thought I had it down
It wants to come up
So let's help him up
He's already drowned
Twice we drowned him
But they kept coming up

A man I once knew
...he was a professional man...
He should have known what he was talking about
I thought he did
More often than not
I trusted him
Law and natural fact
I could see the love in his eyes
He was convinced the cessation of my problem
Was it's light dying and silently slipping off
Into the air
My, oh my, I must not have been paying attention

Another hour passed
My mind was worked up
Worked up professionally
With pure quality workmanship
But it's not gonna last
I don't care
If they invested millions of dollars
You god, Oh Mighty Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick
I'm just gonna fall asleep
I'm a-gonna sleep until I wake
And I ain't a-gonna wake up until
I'm good and ready

He seemed to know what he spoke of
He was, after all, wearing a doctor's coat
After all, he had a silver-pearl stethoscope hanging around his neck
I was tempted to believe he was a great physician
But I wasn't so sure he was a Good Doctor
Not a very good one
The only sawbones I could afford
He told me that I'm very selfish
But not to worry, he said
"All bipolars are like that
All that they see is filtered through
ME ME ME ME ME".

So I had to think about it for awhile
I had to rub it in my clay-hands brain
Until I understood it to be truth
My hardening heart beats only for me
Prayers found me on my knees
Knelt
Until my legs fell asleep
Circulation staunched, the numbness
I tried to rise and walk
I tried to rise and walk
"Come forth!" I heard. "Rise and WALK!"
I tried to rise and walk
I TRIED
Fell down three times
It was like skating in an ice rink
The pulsating music of KISS throbbing through the loudspeakers
(It was that disco knock-off they took to the charts)
I was the kid who got knocked down
I know that funny man didn't mean to run over my hand with his skate
Accidents happen
(Even if the Good Doctor says that's all a bunch of crap)
I lifted my hand to my face
I felt nothing
I thought perhaps it would take some time to kick in, that there would come a moment when the pain would crash over me tsunami-style. It would overcome me, and at that point I would not be screaming at myself anymore but at everyone. I'd curse them because they were there. I'd **** them for no good reason whatsoever. Wrong place, wrong time. Unlucky twins. God knows them not, nor vouches them for His. One is chosen. The Other refused. ME ME ME ME ME. It is more cruel to be told this secret than to be kept in the dark.
Keep me in the dark.
Leave me alone.
Silence your Teaching Voice and let me sleep
Let me sleep in disbelief
Forget the part where I said,
"I ain't a-gonna wake up until I'm good and ready"

I've been put down
I'm held down to drown
Jelly air to fill my gills
No longer screaming
Abandoned my temple
To the banks of the Ohio
I gave the Good Doctor something interesting
To write in his reports

Rusted, desolated, broken dreams.
Torn down, built up, sold as new.
Forgotten memories, stolen ideas,
That is where I hail from.

Sky blue eyes curving simplicity,
I reign from the ashes of the hollow.
Black, blue, yellow, and green
the fruits show peace beyond negativity.

Sitting on an open porch,
Smiling like no other,
listening to the tales of the tales,
that come from my father.

Apricot trees, Fixated houses;
down the street is torn up and beat,
where my friends lived vouches,
is where I would come up to meet.

Current animations hold a shotgun,
shooting at the first sight seen at the end of the street,
sadly is where my life belongs;
And where my dreams rely.
My life flashes before my eyes
As my two childhoods collide.

the original intent was to stress... V: uvula... V: *****... ah! me drinking! me being the one to delve into mind bending tactics while others mind-bind: the binding of dialectical materialism... so soberness and... gaming... today i saw this... a madman, rich: only the rich have the luxuries of madness and fame... the poor simple break the ordeals of order of stating law under the luxury of God: in turn... i saw the children make it hard to understand: i focused in on one auxilliary... when you're ready: i'm ready to pounce! this person is clearly vulnerable... mileage later the stink was obvious... and he smoke like a dragon... Attari bandaid... dimmed Khaki top... sandals and crockodiles... expose toenails... in defence of this madman... Open Air Psychomania of the Asylum... gamers having *** with half-hood-heads of the 1960s post Holocaust expansion projects in North America...the Beatniks are all trans-gender to me: mon...          my mon.... or my man.... England has become an open air Pstychiatric Ward... it's the very first Open Air Asylum! it's amazing! i'm loving it! we can have open wards and open wounds and i'm no poet: i as first concern for veterinary science: i think i always wanted to become a psychiatrist... oh jeez: i think i am a psychiatrist... certainly not a pop pop, pop psychologist... or a dandy philosopher... i think psychiatry is a meeting of geology with philosophy... national portrait gallery: read a review... i will be seeing that Francis Bacon exhibition: simply for Lara vouches that the painting of Pope Innocent IX is there... something amiss... but 19th January is burning day of a month, no?

the poet is not a stand-up comedian:
i come from a culture of cabaret
and not stand-up monologues
who dropped their ***** i say: who dropped
their meat and two veg
i ask... who had the audacity to attack
the Harlequin... the other joker
the joker that only only women undertstand...
i just spent about ten minutes
on the throne of thrones
while playing Mech Arena and getting
into the group chat...
apparently: in gamer speak
i'm a WHALE...
          a ******* whale... not a shark...
a WHALE... poised to be taken advantage
of having my picture taken...
because i was the rebel anti-wasp
and i struck at the epicentre...
oh he might have all the spires and churches
and the bells and like trying to
confiscate Adam:
the uvula... the not *****:
the protruding Adam's apple:
i hate being subordinate to the Hebrews:
while all the while they spent
almost 2000 years in Poland it would seem...
but not really...
and then the **** came and expelled
them and told them: raise me Israel!
so that i can see that Zion!
i want to see Zion! from the ashes...
maybe Israel needs to disappear like it disappeared
when the Hebrews were asked
to head north: among the pagans:
but there's an impasse...
Islam is a monotheism akin to Yahweh's ways:
Je-Howah... he who hides them: the feminine...
plural... he who hides them:
he the baron: rock and rock rock 'n' roll...
gary glitters in the profanity of all that ***
and daughters and mothers....
who is my mother? my lover too?
why is my mumma crying?
i went to the store to pick up her orders...
turns out 2 x 2 = 7 x 7...
          not final soliution: this time...
just a chequers plays chess of **** symbolism
and hebrew symbolism...
so if clockwise: 3 ticks head forward in time?
and if counter-clockwise: just 1 tick back in time?
i was a wasp in a gaming community
chat room: Lothar... Mech Arena...
i was thinking first come first sparrow served:
first thought in my mind:
chess is such a vapid game...
i gave my books then went to school
in the glorious school of machinery: the machine...
i have no objevtive truths:
not that they are helpful to begin with:
just... subjective... experiences...
came across this acronym but i don't remember
it, it's long though and begin with R
ROLOMFO... if my memory serves me best...

reminiscent of the days of Comodore64
Atari... Nintendo: Mario Bros...
lunatic plumbers and via the dragon in the picture
why a dragon why not an overlarged
spider: saw a frog riding a serpent the other day:
toad more menace than a spider...
think about the terror and the whale
and whale being a mammal
while all other fish and squid and monsters:
think of the empathy relating to animals
and not other people...
you can't be empathetic to people:
only to animals...
but you can...
be sympathetic to people:
as a member of the species: class...
you can only be sympathetic to people:
your own species...
make empathy a reserve to understanding
other creatures who define possessing consciounsess
differently: so well ordered: without the word of God...
and with the world of God:
so did Stan the Satan lies to us:
fruit? good and evil: they're words: aren't they...
there is no good or evil
on the canvas of sparrows borrowing
worms and the Francis Bacon:
the canvas of: there be parasites... so?
didn't we get the other canvas to work away from nature:
via word...
well terrible **** does happen in the natural world:
i thought you left?
you didn't leave: maybe that's why Matthew the Satan
is still here: and some other Satan will come along
and ask the cherubs:
so they, they... they think they're still here?
jeez... i've been trying to get them to leave
and stop worrying: i told them
the natural world is not their domain of exploration:
they need to explore the personal,
the psychological:
they need to give the soul a name...
unlike calling a crow a crow...
they need to name their soul: they need to give a name:
abstracting a chair via the word chair...
before the chair there was some variation
of geonometry combined
and leverage... some intuition...
which was before intuition became a forgetfulness
and a memory chasm:
when intuition became knowledge...
a thirst... an eating of the fruit:
of being part of the *****: of order of nature:
when man fell...
the fall of man is here...
lack of intuition created fear and knowledge...
the animalistic endeavor into digesting
anger is the last resolve that Buddhism will not leech off of me...
but i need to revamp Christianity:
and i am angry: fuel my *****...
not soberness and gaming... and spending time:
arguing with a Whale
in the craustacian bucket...
*****... please...

i said: chess is vapid... but this is chess...
MeCH Arena is 3D chess...
not like war robots: which became final fantasy 7...
esque...
but i left the console cinema a long time ago
when Nitendo Mario Bros. 2D became Playstation Tenchu 3D...
Alex still wonders how i managed
to get so far in FFXIII...
not even cheat codes:
an empirical impasse:
the Japanese are confused:
there was this one European that didn't
understand Final Fantasy 8...

but i only said: well.. gentlemen... as long as everyone
is having a grand ol' time...
as long as you didn't spend that money on
Only Fans...
i don't mind you going to a brothel... physically:
and all that... otherwise:
i see i am both man and the anti-zodiac
anti-magic: anti-woman:
"they": THEY said i'm a whale:
put that in your hexagram-pentragram...


          oh sure, yes...
                          alright, there... Sheriff...
talking to my woman?
did i call him Sheriff or Sherlock...
oh... now i remember... hey... ch'ief... you looking for
something?
******* gamers like Swifties... hone brigade
so offensive to say: you guys... pay for this ****?
fair enough fair enough:
Lothar has spoken...
as long as you're not giving it to sycophants and succubuses...
just not a stand-up show:
more clarinet and cabaret:
something french and less *******
my pants about to die monologue testing...
Logan i'm ******: so... we missed the mouth...
the mouth-project?!

i hear school girls cuss and swear
while wearing provocative tools of skirt
and socks and naked flesh
then i think of Reyla and her apathy
and i drown in my own inability
to withstand the pressure with her...
i want to die with her...
and maybe someone else...
and it breaks my heart that no brother
no father
and i can be a male and with that lineage
of Plato i can make a playground
of my own: but poor girl her...
from where to where:
quo vadis: what inspiration?
these 2nd generation nagging housewives?
i was bringing... 6 of the same...
******* winter jackets! i felt like an idiot!
but then i didn't... because
the grace of god descendent and the stoic.