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I thought you would have made the most grandiose of lesbians, as women go, you were quite sublime. You caught me with your androgyny of  hair and your boyish shoes. Too safe to listen to country music, your exquisite headphones blasted out some beligirent cross-hatch nonsense. So i tailed you, so i went to where your footsteps had inwittingly left their mark. I followed you into bars with organic juices, and book shops for the intelligentsia. I watched you across a crowded room, in smokeless bars, whilst you laughed gently at friends jokes; and how i wished i was the punchline, what i would give for that mouth to smile at me. Mirror-red, i would take off your head if you would let me.....

How i wished you were dead, so i could mourn you in a proper fashion. Looking glass. Paper hearts. Ancient things i had forgotten when i looked at you - so exquisite, so shiny, so super and new. How everyone envied me. I had been so good uptil now - the modern bride, wedded to my mind. Singleton screams soprano from my face, orange peeled lips. Unzip me, my handbag head spills on the pavement. Confused by you, confounded by you. Oh you majestic awe-inspiring lesbian, you seem to tick all those (non-conformist) boxes. I, a brilliant lazy yorkshire matinee; you, a grandiouse west end friday night opening. I read the script, somewhat deja-viewed. Are you shocked i worked thee out?

A date with your phone. oh, how, very..... original. Though i cannot but tear my eyes away from what you are doing....a penny in a handful of silver. Drop from my fingers, remove your eyes from my sight. REmove, my sweet experienced delight. Watch as i drive away..the weight of my absence must crush you surely.....? Do alarm bells ring?...No wait..does the heaven sing and mourn your loss? what a pity, a-fly-by-the-night-at-any-cost-i-don't-care-because-i'm-toooooooo­o-cool-for-you, sorta pity? I am not your shadow, your stripes were blacked out by the light, i didn't care to see anymore, and i knew you would not follow so i chose my leave to go. (just so you know, this is me...leaving, you)

Too many lips for me to count, you talk tooo much. You sit there and all i can think of is lying you down and making you stop, talking. Too much? My oh My. Let me take you from here, make you forget who you are. Walk down a beach, hold hands, even if its raining. Too much to ask? Oh so many task. So many standards and obligations, too many notes and standard citations. I just want to do, anything, but listen to you talk. Again and again, i wonder when you will stop to look at me. I guess you would always be the girl, who was afraid to know, the truth. For the lack of you, do something. Four seems better than three, don't you think?
I have been given 38106000 minutes in life,
I don't think I have done anything with it,
Like being patriotic, a saint or famous,
Not to be remembered in any history books,
Except a sweet or sad memory for my family and friends.
22/5/2024
Sk Abdul Aziz Mar 2016
If you think that you know everything about yourself
And there's nothing new left to be discovered or explored
Then think again
For life is a constant process of self-discovery
You keep digging within yourself
You keep exploring the deep recesses of your mind
You will keep unearthing new things
Things you perhaps never even imagined about yourself
Truth is...
...You will truly never know yourself inside out even uptil your dying day
But it is your duty to keep searching within your mind and soul
And try new things
Otherwise how else will you know What you want?
What you desire?
What you are capable of?
Of all the subjects you have studied or will study
Studying yourself is the most important thing to do
For unless and until you study yourself
You have studied nothing
Hafsa S Jul 2020
You're bursting with untapped potential
If only the world could see
This light that courses inside you
Can shine brighter than the sun

You want to be something to someone
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

Someone once told you
Wealth and beauty they fade
The people who love you
Are all that matter in the long run

So, you want to be something to someone
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

You've tried many different paths
Failure has followed through each
But this is not the end of the road
No, your story has just begun

You want to be something to someone
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

Perseverance is half the battle
And giving up is the only true defeat
If you are still willing to fight
Well then you've already won

You want to be something to someone
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

So what if life uptil now
Has amounted to nothing
Go on and befriend patience
One day your time will come

You're only thirteen, just wait
You're only eighteen, wait some more
You're twenty six now, you can wait a little longer
You're still pretty young

You want to be something to someone
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

I know you've burnt every familial bridge
So what, start a family of your own
Give that love to your own daughter
Save that love for your own son

You want to be something to them
Truth is,
You'll never be anything to anyone

So stop this pointless dreaming
Don't cling so hard to hope
Just give up the gun
You're done
You're done
You're not worth much
You never were
You'll never be anything to anyone

— The End —