"unfixable" poems
A broken love
the broken eyes
The reason why my mind is uncontrolable
Convince to the greater good
I try in my mind
but i don't to eyes
I look up to people
but I look down
The truth is unspoken
except to the broken
Cover up the oblivious
at the end
everything stays
unforgettable
unfixable
broken
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 1:57 AM UTC
you're the iceberg to my titanic .
you took me by surprise..
and left me in a wreck .
left a hole in the center of my heart
made me unfixable and cold and broken
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 1:09 PM UTC
she said, our life is a journey of accomplishments,
That we were programmed, we were trained
For what it has to come the other day
And at sudden something went fortunately wrong
And now we are nothing but some strayed unfixable bugs
That no one seems to care about
Did we fail to compile?
or did we not impress?
or did our programmer want us this way
for us to suffocate enough to
define the pain of failure
so we would learn to re-generate the code to the happiness
that we’ll know how to feel our self
when every sentiment on us floats away
and all we can imagine to do is dream
what would we be, if it never happened
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 10:07 PM UTC
i’m at work. my coworkers, no, my friends are with me. the restaurant is empty and we’re laughing. laughing about who knows what; maybe a crazy customer, maybe one of his hilarious anecdotes, maybe her joke, maybe just because we’re dumb teenagers who’ll laugh at anything. we’re standing and laughing and for the first time in a very long time i feel it. it flows through my body starting from my chest and goes all the way down to my toes and fingertips. it surrounds me, but not in the suffocating way that the sadness does. no, this is different. this feels like a warm hug that i didn’t know i needed until i got it. i feel like my entire being is lighting up and i want to stay in that moment forever. after just a second, the happiness vanishes, but it still leaves traces inside me. i feel hopeful. when’s the last time i felt that? i feel hopeful and i know just from that fleeting burst of happiness that everything’s worth it. i know that i’ll be able to feel that high of emotions again and god, do i want to. and everyone else is still laughing and smiling and i know that things can’t stay this way forever because eventually a car will pull into the parking lot or the manager will come out and tell us to clean but none of that matters. because in that moment, i am happy and i know that i am not unfixable and i know that i can be a normal dumb teenager laughing at normal dumb things. and that’s all that really matters.
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 9:49 PM UTC
I guess it's over.
Water has spilled all over our ink
and now our words are blurry.
Unreadable.
Unfixable.
But what do you care?
You were the one who tipped
the glass over.
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 4:15 PM UTC
Have you ever been under the influence so long
That when you are forced to stop
To come up for air
Everything feels
Unfamiliar?
Sobriety chokes you
Traps you
Makes your heart race
Like a Chinese finger trap
You voluntarily entered into,
But now feel as though you might not escape.
The sober life is what you strive for
Long for
Dream of
Everyone around you encourages,
You can do it
One day at a time
They say
Attempting to motivate
Inspire
Help
But these are all lies
A mere hour of sobriety is too much to handle
It suffocates
Makes my hands shake
And my mind go crazy
DRINKDRINKDRINKDRINKDRINKINEEDAFUCKINGDRINKNOWGODPLEASE
This phrase repeats itself,
Over and over
No matter how many times you tell yourself
ICANDOTHIS
You know
It’s only another lie in the endless stream of pathetic, useless encouragement
You have created for yourself.
And after you say this,
ICANDOTHIS
You laugh
Knowing that it is absolutely
UNTRUE
And always will be
How can you embrace sobriety
When the bottle calls from its hiding place
The place you hid it
From your lover, family, friends
Pretending you function
Just like all of them
Waking up
Going about your life
Without panicking about when the next drink will be
When the drinks you need
Will **** you
If anyone will even notice
Or care.
Probably not,
Why should they,
Do you?
You never have.
Your life is an endless series of drinks and lies, and more drinks
And more lies.
You are nothing.
An empty cup
Waiting to be filled with the substance that will distract you from living
And then take your worthless life in the end.
Alcoholic
Forever
Unfixable.
Stop wasting our time.
Nov 1, 2012
Nov 1, 2012 at 12:23 PM UTC
It’s the kind of subtle trickle
That turns the asphalt into a glassy mirror
Ripples, ripples, ripples
Over it like a black pond
The silver lining of each little droplet
Streaking the sky with shades of gray
The streetlights cast an amber glow
Upon the shimmering mist
Hiss, hiss, hiss
Against your stinging flesh
Turn your face up towards the darkened sky
Let the rainfall and streetlights wash away the dust
The dust of the souls you carry on your lips and cheeks
Etched into your back and palms
Their burdens may cause you aches and pains
Let the rainfall and streetlights wash them away
Rainfall and streetlights
Rainfall and streetlights
An urban confessional
Where the sky leans in to listen
As every perfect drop of water hits your skin
It’s the sound of a cleansing
Only you can comprehend
And although the hope of purity may have been swept away
by the wind of unfixable mistakes
It’s still the belief alone in possible redemption
That keeps you from relenting to temptation
Drink up the tears of the sky, child
You are forgiven
You were always forgiven
After all
Paths were made to be strayed from
Straight lines are mundane, they all look the same
And never give a little boy glass when you haven’t taught him
how to grasp what’s right in front of him
When he drops it
It’s a dangerous job
Picking up the sharp shattered pieces
Do not make him do it all alone
Yes, inevitably you will cut yourself
On the broken shards
Crimson teardrops
If they tumble from you
Do not distrust your calluses
You made them through your own hard work and suffering
But they can only do so much for you
Remember your skin is a shell not impenetrable armor
So it’s best to avoid the things you know will cut unnecessarily deep
Bleeding is just another way your body assures you that your heart is still beating
Looking up from the gutter the universe awaits you child
Do you not realize what’s at your fingertips?
Infinity
So don’t give in just yet
Let the rainfall and streetlights heal you
Drip drop, drip drop
Let them bathe you in warmth
Radiating
Let the rainfall and streetlights take you away
To a better place
Wherever that may be
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 1:18 PM UTC
She was the kind of lost that was unseen before
She was the kind of broken that's unfixable
She was the kind of beauty that's unfadable
She was the kind of love that was unforgettable
But her heart was cold as stone
Her truth were only lies
Her faithfulness was nonexistent and her love was false
But he couldn't stop
Deep down he knew it wasn't right
But there was something about her smile, her laugh and her touch...
That made it impossible to stop thinking about her, being with her, admiring her and loving her
It was painful, but necessary to feel alive
He couldn't breathe without her near
She had him on his knees, she had stripped him off his independence
To make him her needy wreck,
Filling the empty void in her heart
She loved the power and didn't care the cost
Her heart was made of stone
Stoning him alive
Until the day he dies
For all eternity
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 7:39 AM UTC
He builds robots
with his bare hands.
He takes the wrenches
and the electronics
and the nuts and bolts
and makes out of nothing
Something.
And even though I don’t even know him.
I think I may love him a bit.
I think about
How he puts things together that weren’t connected ever before.
Fixing that which is broken
Or unmade
Or seemingly unfixable.
And proving the world wrong when this man-made machine
is just as alive as the rest of us.
The discarded
are made
into something with a renewed sense of purpose.
Proving recycling as a totally viable concept
[and not just a fad hippies whine about]
Right before your very eyes.
And as I watch him explain
High level mechanics
to the English majors like me,
I think about my broken heart
and the inability to truly love anyone in the last five years of my life
And I think
Maybe
There’s someone out there
Who can finally fix that.
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 9:39 PM UTC
i. denial
you aren’t gone, no.
you’re going to come back to me.
you’re going to come back.
ii. anger
you promised you’d try;
but the second things got hard,
you didn't look back.
iii. bargaining
its not over yet.
we aren't unfixable.
we’ve come too far now.
iv. depression
i wasn’t enough.
you told me you’d always stay.
you’re not coming back.
v. acceptance
you were my first love,
the first to truly love me;
you won’t be the last.
pc
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 3:21 PM UTC
You aren’t broken, I am
I am flawed
I am malfunctioning
I am defective, ugly, wrong
I am mean, beyond repair
Disgustingly bitter, like licking the outside of an orange,
Disguised as a tempting delicious throbbing fruit of life.
But in reality, I am insufficient, innutritious,
A casualty no one wants to carry
But I am so afraid that one day you will see
This unfixable imperfection that is me
And you will leave.
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 10:54 AM UTC
Though excruciating,
I have delicately incised my heart
And left it open for you.
Blood and all.
I am completely defenseless,
Truly surrendering what is deepest within me.
All of me is on display,
And I am vulnerable, exposed.
Our environment, unsterile,
Makes me susceptible to infections:
Hate, judgment, abuse
That spread through the words and actions of others,
Attacking my system.
And, subconsciously, I internalize them,
Accepting them as my own.
But I trust you to care for me.
I believe with conviction, I must,
You have washed your hands
In preparation to touch my heart
With the gentleness I need
And cannot provide myself.
Because alone, I am unfixable,
Permanently damaged and slowly losing blood.
Dying behind my seemingly perfect demeanor,
A closed facade.
I trust that because I have exposed my pain
To you, solely you,
We can begin to repair the destruction
And stop the hemorrhaging,
Together.
Thereby providing the means by which
This earthly vessel, and in turn
The fragile soul inside,
Can finally begin to heal.
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 10:39 AM UTC
Look at that little light bulb
Switched off in disgrace
White but dull, all light gulped,
Deep inside its face
Is it worth being replaced?
Try switching it on,
Try bringing out its inner light,
Try encouraging it to illuminate,
Try giving it a second chance,
But, no, it is now out of date.
You take it out,
Throw it in the trash
It was always meant to break,
It shatters into unfixable peices in one crash
Like this lightbulb
Am I the next one you're going to replace?
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 3:45 PM UTC
i have arrived at a point
of desperate fury;
a final certainty
that there is no longer a sustainable solution;
the realization that god was right—
the only way to fix this horror
is to wipe it clean,
flood every sea,
drown everything in saltwater
and try again,
pretending all along we have just begun—
but no,
this time there may be no noah,
no single good survivor
except maybe the ones wronged the most,
maybe only the last of the trees,
maybe only the animals
this is to say:
if the human race went extinct
i would not grieve.
only thank the soil as it swallowed me,
only be disappointed because god,
was this the best we could do?
i would love to return
to a belief of more hope,
the someday-vision
of an earth where nothing suffers
and justice wields her scales like a weapon,
needing no blindfold,
but nowadays i only wonder
how we let the earth become this rotten,
let it get too far
and now the problem seems unfixable.
now, all we have to show for it
is a cumulation of debt
and a system that does not care for us.
death was right:
humans are foolish.
we are so good
at keeping things
when they are already lost,
tying them to our chests with hope
thinking we can save it.
but what better way
to halt the plague
than to raze it all to the ground,
set fire to the rotting at the core,
cut the roots and then restart.
to the child-saints we lost too early,
i pray:
tell god,
burn everything.
we need to try again.
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 10:32 PM UTC
He's damaged,
Unfixable it seems
What others would call
nightmares
Are his sweetest dreams
And sometimes
He takes his emotions
to
extremes
It's so blatantly obvious
When he finally
breaks down
And screams
That the world
brought him to his knees
He's a broken spirit.
And I just don't know
If my love
can mend his soul
Or if my broken pieces
Are enough to make
him
whole.
And if I use what
little I have left
To put him back together
Won't that just
leave me
In a shattered pile of emotions
forever?
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 13, 2015 at 7:44 AM UTC
I remember it
all too well
her tears were there
and she was unfixable
at 2 a.m., she was
taken for granted
and she thought
how sure it was she'd be outlived
I remember her
voice cracked, raw
as she said
I can't
and I can see it now
those doe eyes filled my vision
and tears swam round her lashes
so tired of crying
I remember it
I can feel it in my bones
how the air grew hotter
between spaces when no one spoke
but most of all
I remember me
speechless and dazed
filled with sorrow
my words were nothing
against her pain
she was still screaming
when I said to her
softly as I could
don't give up on yourself
for we both know
it isn't fair to you
stay away from your razors tonight.
look me in the eyes
you are so loved, and by so many
memories may fade
but flashbacks are forever
coming back
haunting my nightmares
refusing to die.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 7:06 PM UTC
the moment of surprise,
hold of breath,
wandering eyes,
cloudy skies,
crowded place,
elevated space,
racing heart,
i'm fallen apart,
tight grip on your colar,
don't be so bipolar,
red lipstick kisses,
heartbroken pieces,
messy hair,
we are the perfect pair,
only when you leave me,
you will see,
why we were so reckless,
young and careless,
fooling around,
misbehaving without a sound,
our hearts wound,
unfixable,
dismissable.
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 5:34 AM UTC
The sadness is beginning to set in
like the grapevines that grow up the side of an old brick house
gnarled and tangled in such a unfixable mess
just like the inner workings of the soul of mine
that once felt love and beauty and strength
growing in bouquets of flowers from my chest
unfortunately those flowers rotted and decayed
yet never really left, just like the proof that's shown
from the overcrowded webs of vines that still grow
up the side of that old brick house.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC
In purple checked dresses we are confronted
Behind a piano sits ‘Miss Creak’ head of house
She has one bad eye, unfixable from childhood
But plays beautifully perched on an oakwood
And fabric stool. This is our secondary school.
On the wall above the piano is a framed print
‘Madonna of the Meadows’ by the artist Bellini
I pushed a drawing of a couple intertwining
Under ‘her’ door knowing she never would have
But a boy may have felt affection for ‘that’ affliction.
Here we all ate meals, did fashion shows and sang
I was glad my dress was purple not orange or red
Went better with my blue eyes and blonde hair
The rest of the school diveded into coloured checks
To represent Shakespearean female characters.
Just opened in Wandsworth a new comprehensive
Serving all abilities, behaviours and nationalities
Cordelia, Beatrice, Juliet, Katharine,
Portia, Rosalind, Olivia, Viola a rather unsuitable
Vision for such an uptake of adolescent froth.
Miss Creak was, kindly, I wish I had always been.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 10:59 AM UTC
he had just texted
me saying that he read
the letter i wrote him
over five times.
he said he could not stop
smiling,
and that he wants to change
to be a better boyfriend to me.
he fails to notice that i
don’t want him to change,
because when people change
they figure out that they are better off
with someone who is one hundred percent
stable;
im about seventy nine percent.
im almost there baby,
just a little longer.
i am so ******* glad you
are changing to get better,
it’s been too long and there were too many
stormy-eyed nights
and its finally time for a
starry-eyed night.
we are doing so good;
we are flowing more than we ever did.
and im thankful for that,
i guess.
when you first met me,
you were a shady mess,
a mess that you thought was
unfixable.
i told you that i wouldn’t leave your side,
and i stuck to my word.
i tried fixing you the best i possibly could,
and kind of succeeded.
i wanted to fix you by phone calls
and late night texts,
explaining to you how much i love you.
i wanted to save you,
i still do.
i wanted to be that person to help you
no matter what time it is.
but from my perspective,
that is not how i helped you.
i had helped you in the most
humble way;
just by being me.
it’s a known fact that you love me,
*** doesn’t need to prove that.
and i guess that since you were able
to detach yourself from your sadness,
and attach yourself to me,
made you better.
i know you are terrified of losing me,
but i really ******* hope you know,
I will still be in love with you even if you
killed me at point blank range.
// {m.j.}
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 7:10 PM UTC
Paper soulmates
Drawn together by fate
Glued into each other's lives persistently
As we are paper soulmates we are prone wear and tear
Torn paper is truly unfixable
You can only try to sellotape together what has been torn apart
Scrunched paper can't truly be smoothed out again,
there is still going to be evidence of past experience
Our story Inked onto the pages of our body
Stained by water, the ink smudges off of us
Our stories ??
unreadable
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 4:06 AM UTC
Dark nights.
No lights.
Being bipolar stung.
The pressure of the world on your lung.
Can't breath?
Lucky me.
Standing beside as I'm dying.
Lock me up while I'm crying.
Watch out for this one.
I just wanted the gun.
Pull the trigger back.
Let the bullet attack.
Be proud mom.
Look where my brain has gone.
Drugs... Drugs... Drugs...
Hold me down to this earth.
A new dawn, new emotions birth.
Honey the doctors can help.
You never listen as I scream and yelp.
Stop trying to fix me.
I'm unfixable can't you see?
Just be still.
Thanks to the drugs I never get my fill.
Always hunting for something more.
Burns and cuts galore.
I need the pain.
You all call me insane.
Today I'm blue.
Oh you are too?
Today I'm white.
I can't feel, can't fight.
I can't run.
I guess I'm just done.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 1:01 PM UTC
You looked beyond my hideous smile.
A smile with a history of broken scars.
I was living under a world where there
Was no love , no sanity of the mind.
Broken patches on my veins .
Hard to sewn , hard to rebuild .
But you stayed....
My heart was in debt , you stayed.
To pay what was lost , to gain its strength.
I was unfixable ,so I believed.
But the truth sank with your touch.
Your touch deposit little wires
To make my dormant heart reignite
With the fire it once reigned.
I could be rebuild .
You stayed
You look beyond my almond eyes .
There were tremendous waves of memories.
I was looking at a world with love tragedies.
Right in front of me , you made me believe.
Rebuild my eyes , to quit being blindly impaired.
You stayed
You tasted my pink subtle lips ,
Your mouth tasted a mouth full
of broken stories to share .
With every taste, I was sinking in my own spit.
Ruptured taste .
Easily to fix with your love.
You stayed
Round and round of long night
Endearing my pain , my broken heart
You taught me to be sane.
You rebuild my cracks
Reconstruction my pavements.
I fell in love with you over and over
Because you stayed through it all
I stayed to learn your flaws .
Who knew you were so close
But in reality so far ....
I still stayed
Through the nights where you found yourself afraid , I stayed .
I was the courage light.
Through the nights where you found still unable to breathe.
I was your oxygen.
Through the nights you need someone ,
I was your muse.
I loved you more than I loved myself.
You rebuild me to become the person
I should have always been .
Only to know you came to fix me .
Only to fix me in order
To be sane for the
Love I truly deserve .
I really want to ****** you with the
Shattered pieces of my heart.
Mourn your silhouette,
I only say this because you made me
See for my own kind .
I can't hate you for that , or depise you.
I looked at the mirror and see
What I am capable of ,
and how hard I can love.
And any one who is lucky to replace you
Will live in world where there is love .
Where my eyes will see hearts .
Where my heart will beat endlessly for him.
Where my lips will taste heroism.
Thank you for rebuilding me for the future.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 12:51 AM UTC
The heat intensifies with my lonesome tendencies, and
I fear palpitation from innocently brushing arms with a stranger.
But when I find myself in a stranger’s bed
(or a wineshop,
a car,
a park)
the thrill is missing.
I am a stereotype, a masochistic statistic. I am becoming the 20-something-sleeping-around-to-stave-off-boredom.
I am an archetype that’s been romanticized to death.
Save the romance, it’s greed and it’s hunger and it’s pure boredom.
These men become gold. Thread after thread
of secret affairs solidify into a piece of treasure,
Like 14 karat chain necklaces that get tangled
into an unfixable knot of links and claw clasps.
I carry it in my strut and that is exciting.
My walk is confidently direct at 3 in the morning.
In the summer, when the heat is outside and not in my bed, I am unsatisfied.
Yet when the promise of romance approaches, I allow myself to make poor decisions out of fear.
So I make a different poor decision to get me through the next hour.
Jul 12, 2013
Jul 12, 2013 at 4:00 AM UTC
It's broken
In a thousand pieces
All the kings men yada yada
Yet still you attempt to rebuild
Diligently picking up the pieces
Are you a fool
For trying to fix
The unfixable
Or am I
for never Trying at all.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 12:59 AM UTC