i can't even digest this "abstract" point of a definition of consciousness, or relate it to a subjectivity / objectivity, or whatever affix you wish to ascribe the ponce of a man his due when you see what see:
cogito ergo sum is not even a debate,
even though it's as orthodox as
a religion with its: mantras
and credos...
the whole expression is
no inert, so bogus and so: failing
what i wish to be transcendent...
it only takes one snippet of the world
in which there is an other that
it blunts the mind that's only
useful for spreading butter on a warm
toast that: perhaps my honesty
is worth more than what i could have
done:
because this observation is
heavily reliant on *what i could have
rather than on what i ought to have
done...
the proposition which is dead lost to
making it a rigid maxim
is best observed as a
delay mechanism...
because it has become just that to me
as of today...
since it does not entertain
a reflex that's always there in
high-stress situations...
cogito ergo sum has
a purely reflective dimension...
equivalent of saying:
Adam was born ****-naked
and died, ****-naked...
but we "know" the latter to be
hardly true: as much as we know
saints die with halos and caesars
are born with laurels on their heads...
as much as we known that kings
are decapitated by the weight of
their crowns...
i abhor the cartesian thought on
the simply example i experienced today...
so i walk into a supermarket minding
my own business by thinking about
how my shoes are comfortable...
and i pass this strange creature in
the fridge department: staring
into a single fridge...
i boot up with my usual crap
of ***** beer and ms. fizzy-candy...
but i'm curious and walk past her again...
she has a ring on her finger:
but it's not an everlasting ring
of pure mental without ornament...
it has a stud of a rock attached to it:
engagement...
she's still staring into the fridge
wondering about fish fingers as i eye
her eye contact...
she has a buggy next to her
and a filled basket...
the buggy has a child in it:
i presume...
but the apparent child in
it is silent...
i can't see it: too many blankets:
which seems just right that:
there's something living and human
cushioned in it...
the delay mechanism of this schematic
is that: hours later have the sudden
impulse to recount the encounter
of a single mother and having the capacity
to approach her and ask her:
do you want me to buy this for you?
would that have escalated into me fancying
a relationship?
do i look like a ******* loser?
i might drink and i might do damage
unto myself: but at least i know that i'm
doing it, and not someone else:
just a mere gesture of:
you can stop staring at that packet
of fish fingers for a while...
because what sort of woman brings
a baby in a buggy to a supermarket nearing
10pm?
a witch, a harlot, or just bad luck?
i would certainly sleep sounder had
i discovered a way to bypass the delay
mechanism of: looking up my own ***...
the problem is: the thought never occurred:
but did - only a few hours later:
circa 4 hours to be exact...
i don't like this delay mechanism,
but i then don't like whether there's a more
important social conventions "question"
when having a "moral" answer
impregnates the mind hours after
the initial curiosity of the sorry sight...
this whole: minding my own business is
sickly sweet and probably oozing with
a scentless ***** perfume...
but that still doesn't justify to me that:
i am both intuitively crafted,
but also intuitively dulled by a question
of a morality...
would i have given her money to buy
those fingers?
i've been saving money by not drinking
on some days, so i could squeeze in a random
expense...
it just bothers me that i didn't actually
have access to this thought when it was
most certainly worth having...
which is why i read philosophy:
i hate it.
at what point was there a staged
connectivity of dot dot dot?
i was in there stashing up and thinking
up about seeing the qualification
of ski jumping in Pyeongchang!
perhaps if i left my in situ with this
single mother who just so happened
to be in the supermarket at the same time
i was there: i would have actually
thought about buying the food she wanted
to feed her baby...
a random act of kindness
would then haunt me:
because why did i give her a fish
and not given her the skills to go fishing, right?
well, it wouldn't exactly be a charity
project run by Oxfam is one person did that
to another on a random occassion of:
it just so happened: that a pink elephant walked
into the room.
there have to be four martix-like
ante-chambers to the human experiences -
working from the x-ray of god...
Y (convergence (λ - divergence)
W (synchronism (M - dissoance)
H / H (either / or)
ask the twins why we need λ & M...
yet the thought occurred only after
i had to take a second look out of
curiosity rather than any
intuitive precedence over the matter
needing to be resolved...
a ****** curiosity like some sort
of "freak" show...
maybe it's worthwhile having
a drinking habit after all:
to feel this un-inhibition and spot such
aspects of life, akin to a single mother
being abandoned by a future spouse for whatever
reason that was: clinging to an engagement
ring, nearing 10pm in a supermarket with
her baby, staring into a fridge wondering
whether a baby can eat fish fingers:
or could choke on them: because then
the practice of abortion is really worth
debating...
give a man a freedom and then
watch man abuse it: by not executing
the established norm of consensus...
or later watch the vicar come in and argue:
but what of a future mozart that could have
been?
yeah, i ask myself that same question
whispering into a tissue and then trying
to hear a reply of the sea in a sea-shell
as i flush the ******* down the toilet...
have ******* whale sonar on that answer...
i won't replicate it,
merely concise it to: it's an onomatopoeia.
thankfuly i have a personal account to match...
but she did pick the engagement ring
herself, and she did fling it back at me...
and she lied about taking the pill...
when i was like:
a ****** is but the nadir of my latex
fantasy...
so: guru who guru what?
i have my observation:
shame this thought was somehow obstructed
from me having inacted it
when i could have shown the least
amount of decency to a sorry state of
womanhood, on a whim:
and not for any moral well-being
gratified by faking an authority for
some godsend suggestion to further it
by setting up an orphanage...
a whim: not a moral obligation...
a fancy...
a random twist of a plot...
it's still going to be a delay mechanism for
me: this "observed" cogito ergo sum...
i've seen Kant mutilated on this *******
wankery long enough to know that
Kołakowski didn't leave it much smarter.
