it is difficult to remember now,
through the kaleidoscope nightmare of the river,
endlessly flowing,
endlessly flowing,
but we lived once much as you,
we'd love hope and family,
and it ended just as it will end one day for you,
in dispersion of the light and melting of the cosmic consciousness,
drip drip drip from space into your mind,
drip drip drip,
it was the middle of the night,
and the dog started barking so i took him to the yard,
the wife said,
it was dark and the stars shone like pin ****** through black velvet,
the dog said,
he was uneasy and barked at the night sky,
which dispersed like startled ravens,
and the light from all the stars became sound,
each a string plucked,
vibrating,
the sound pleased me and i attuned the ear,
as all around windows lit up bright rectangles,
and people came outside onto grass and concrete,
and stared up at the singing sky,
the dog had fallen on its side,
tongue out eyes twitching,
but the starsong prevailed and i knew the dog had understood,
and that i too would understand,
it is inevitable,
the wife said,
i love you and i love you too,
i said,
i was fear,
the stars bloomed into lightflowers,
and the bees awoke,
and ascended to drink their luminous nectar,
before bursting as fireworks,
in dispersion remaining etched upon the sky like scatter without time,
multiplying i reminisced childhood,
dust caught in attic sunlight,
each scatter birthing stars whose brightness equaled the original,
and in their accumulation night became bright as day,
i reminisced death,
brighter than,
colours so vivid the mind pained,
and starsong became starscream and the colours leeched away,
to whiteness,
to nothingness,
and we covered our eyes as its unbearable intensity melted all before us,
including us,
and we were blind,
and i felt myself pouring out my sockets,
i loved my wife and she me,
but we were no more,
in blindness i coagulated,
the world of shapes was finished and all persisting was consciousness and nightmare,
of loss,
of ending,
of the forever and the nevermore,
in concentration i perceived my consciousness,
suspended within melted eyes,
trickling through blades of disappearing grass,
a single fear,
meeting other consciousnesses,
human and non,
viscous as dreadhoney,
and within each another fear,
and in their union i became from one to many nightmares,
immediately and at once,
the trickle sped as the grass was not,
and the reality flats declined,
down we ran,
an accumulation of nightmares,
liquid eyes beyond the bodypast crying fears of individual terror experienced in common,
down toward the river.
and we were in,
like a single mind burning in universal agony,
riverchurch of the ******,
guided currently by the high priests of nothingness but experience,
overload of knowing,
from swerve of shore to bend of bay,
we flow,
awaiting you /
for you to flow as us
