Under a lawn, than skies more clear,
Some ruffled roses nestling were:
And, snugging there, they seem’d to lie
As in a flowery nunnery:
They blush’d, and look’d more fresh than flowers
Quicken’d of late by pearly showers,
And all because they were possess’d
But of the heat of Julia’s breast:
Which, as a warm and moisten’d spring,
Gave them their ever-flourishing.

My heart... Oh my aching heart. It just sits in the palm of her hand, barely beating. I thought she loved me... With all the things we've been through, I could have sworn she loved me. I close my eyes and let the tears flow.

"I thought you loved me..." I whisper/sob, gasping for air. Why did you have to make my biggest fear come alive?

"Poor baby. It's called a lie!" She laughs wickedly and begins to squeeze my heart. I cry out in pain, trying to scoot away from all of this.

"Stop..." I plead, scratching at my chest as her fingers clamp harder around my dying heart, my breath shallow.

"Why? I never cared. If anything you bored me to death. All you wanted was attention." She says slyly, a smirk on the beautiful face I once loved. I still love...

"Why did you have to lie to me? Play me?" I cough up blood, sobbing harder.

"Because I' m not the person you thought I was, Shalimar. I want more. You were never enough. Worthless to me. You never helped me through all the **** I was going through like you thought you did. You never made me truly smile. You were always a useless B-"

That's when I wake up, my heart beating fast and sweat covering me. I look beside me and see her sleeping calmly, a beautiful smile on her lips that I know so well. I sigh and lay closer, snugging into the familiar arms I finally have back.

She snorts and nuzzles into my neck, molding into me like we used to. I close my eyes and smile weakly, falling into a lovely dream.

I witness the dance of the Earth & Moon,
Orchestrated by the flair of the Sun...

There I see the light hugging the hopes of the souls...
There I see the Night snugging fantasies of the hopes...

I rise and fall sometimes crawl into the future... But I will never fail to witness the dance of the Earth & Moon and relish the beauty of nature...

They said that time will heal
But it's been forever, why my heart still ill?
They also said someday I'll find someone better
Maybe thats why i keep comparing everyone with her.
They said, someday I'll be happy again
This air of melancholy be blown away and
I will somehow find my zen.

But that day is not today.
Today, my head is still on my arm,
Hugging my knee close to my chest,
Snugging at the corner of my room,
Still sobbing while asking myself
"Is this really for the best?"

I wrote her a letter, But it never finished.
I don't plan to either, because I'm not sure what will it accomplish.

"You are my siren, you drew me in
With a voice like an angel and the softest skin
Your eyes shine like diamonds and your smile melts my heart
We're like the star and the moon, and nothing could tear us apart"

That's what i wrote, and just let me say
Even though the last line not true, but I'll never throw it away.

"You make me smile when no one else can
It just makes me happy to be your man
But it hurts me deeply that we have to be apart
I thought we would last, but we need to do this, sweetheart"

I could not end it, could not write a "goodbye",
Not with the ink, just the thought of it could make me cry.

AS 73/19