I was going to skul "yes" without fittng shoes,i have no extra books,i have no pencil either pen an one of all i have no health,i have a deases called hunger with a cure but not discovered yet,i live without proper food without nutrition but just know that i have malnutrition some say they will do somethng about my situation an oh maybe they will ...um tired oh poverty and always will be....i was polite,i was listening to people an have no say an do what i was told just for money coz i had no money for food,education an health i am young bt look old poverty is cruel it try to make me look like an old age,it just like an insects in my food an ofcorse that i dont have..it knocked at my door an i open thought it was someone it push an pull me down an make me kneel for it an i did ,it made me its slavery inside my house come on inside my own house? And i obey?well i had no choice, i slept at the floor without a blanket an without my teddy,then i had a dream and quite dream, i dreamed about money and i dreamed about the end of poverty,then i woke up and busy searching for my money "oh my dream money"     searching my empty pocket with an angry face thinking that my money was stolen from me,then i realize it was just a dream, an again i realize that when i live with my unwanted friend is not because i want it.,,,,its because i want more....

I’m just going to stay here.
In this very spot.
Yes, in the Arby’s Parking Lot
Because I remember on June 30th 2010
Close to eleven o’clock
On my 19th birthday
You kissed me…
In this very spot.

I also won three dollars
On a scratch ticket I purchased earlier
That, in complete truth, was the best day
Of my life

I’m just going to stay here.

I’ve been around the block a time or two…
Hell, I never quit
I never cared
Reckless
Burning the rubber of my tires
Radio at max volume
Speeding up
Sharp turns
…and then I met you

First I rolled down the windows to see if it was real
I turned the volume down…
Shut my car off and got out
I walked barefoot on this gravel road
Got to the top of this gorgeous hill
Blue sky with clouds hugging air
And said to myself…
“So this is what breathing feels like.”

I’m just going to stay here.

We froze time
Every word you said could paint
Canvas upon canvas in my mind
My skul, swimming with hues
Sometimes I get you confused with Picaso


Told you about my Cobblestone path
Where other girls dissolved away
You sat down next to me and said
“What else…?”

You looked at my tattoos
With such adventure in your eyes
My fingers through your hair
And on your skin
Could be a treasure map
I don’t care where the ******* X is
I don’t care where the ******* gold is
I just loved getting lost
And retracing my steps…

I’m just going to stay here.

I’m an atheist
You’re a catholic
Sounds like a sitcom
I know sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye
But I could put my glasses on and then
You’d try with your glasses
We’d try and try and try and try and….
Then finally our pupils would align.
And I was just so happy.

“Tell me what you think…”
You said I could play guitar well but,
My voice needed work
I know I don’t have much of a singing voice
Then I see you and…
I get angels in my throat

I’m just going to stay here…..

You said goodbye to me
I didn’t care to remember the date
Because then every time that number would
Crawl up on the calendar, I’d just be irate
Very abrupt
Train de-railing
Break the rib cage, through the skin

I can’t breathe life into words
That would showcase how I am
Something of that magnitude
Could end the world
And I don’t feel like doing that
Because somewhere, someone
Is having the best day of their life
Who am I to ruin that?

I planted that feeling,
Along with the red pop tab
From your Rock Star energy drink you gave me,
In my backyard
I used to carry it on my key chain
But when I saw it, I felt like
Falling through cement or tiles

That feeling will grow into an ugly tree
Bark the color of granite
Branches twisted like a sociopaths personality
But in the spring…how beautiful
Bright hues would cover the contorted branches
Roots tangled in dirt
How we hugged
Purple leaves
A bright orange glow
Magnificent flowers would….Can flowers even grow on trees?
Never mind, I don’t ******* care, I want flowers on my tree

I shouldn’t stay here
It’s nice to look back and smile but…

I shouldn’t stay here
Leave this world
Let go
Let go
Let go
Move forward
Drop this world
The story is over

Perhaps in five….or ten years
You’ll come back here to this very spot
In the Arby’s parking lot
Pick up my book
Whip away the years
Flip through torn pages
And by the time you collide at the end of this line.
I’ll capture sunshine in my spine

My brain is eating its way out
Of my head
Stop screaming
The pounding is cracking my skul
As i stand in the model of my denial
You scream at me
For doing what you told me to
The way you told me to
I'm sorry
For not reading between the lines of your screams
For not drowning punt your words and leaving the message
I let a little slip away
I'm trying to learn from my mistakes
But everything i try
Is wrong
Don't cry

But i don't listen to my own advice
I break down
My legs shiver as my mind gives up
Jenny
My mind screams the name my lips won't dare to let out
She's gone
As my hands start to shake
You scream at me
Stop this game
I'm sorry for surviving
For crying
I'm sorry for not dieing
Tonight im gonna make it up to you