The intensity of hearing your voice for the first time
                      (since you threatened to **** me)
the familiar growl and curt tone
                      (sounding like a teenager rolling their eyes)
and all this time I thought I would be unafraid
all
this
time
I imagined how together I could be.
Siked myself up.
Prepared for the worst.
And all I heard
was adolescent attitude and no room for compromise.
"I'm really busy on Christmas."
                (Too busy with your new meal ticket to talk to your children?)
One minute
Twenty One Seconds
And even though you didn’t yell or call me names or call me out
I still felt timid, cowed.
I still pretend I am hard
unsuccessfully ignoring you in the halls.
Making awkward faces.
                       (Not used to not feeling guilty.)
I just can’t talk yet.
                       (I can’t and I’m okay if I never do.)
I can see your anger, though.
My awkward grimace sparking a tongue in cheek, “Felisha.”
I loved you....
                       (I still do but I'm not after your hand.)
And our soul friendship is real.
I fear
carrying these two endings with me for a long time

I'm so petty
And unpretty
When someone has been rude
And leaves their poem here
In the ****
I can't help but be a little siked
If it doesn't get liked

Damsel in distress but we live in a world where no one cares just in case their is a **** under that dress as if it ******* matters but you've been trained to thinkless and act thoughtless toward those a certain race lower class indigenous or just flat out weird you profess and treat the life as if it's worthless and if they are of anther species you **** openly so proud to of taken your advantage knowing their was never a chance for the other side to dance and then you celebrate like you did something noble ******* cowards swing sing and sink with hands on chest to flags or the statue of liberty fool you not me oh so ******* siked to be hated by the world but in the mirror liked oh so entitledly elated happy to be an American and to know it full-blown show it but deny it that's it's the Fourth ***** launching another strike at victims worn completely out to make it easy for the Vatican or London to reap the benefits of what you thought was your gain but you gotta be insane to be such a fool and *** with no class elitist bad pass slaving away though samsara since you lack the intellect to be anymore than a tool for a few horrible people to rule and they do with iron fists lies and gagets enticing sheep to vote for it over again you fall like dip ***** into hard laughter when I've run to help her making me different than you so making me worthy of going after so bring it let's have some fun not here to sing the same songs that usher in wrongs as long as I'm breathing I'm going to be a shining star blinding light with all my might trust on every breath in this chest that I'll do my best not going to ever give in or give up the fight to stand up straight those indoctrinated to sit and fake polite

it started raining
so I put on my raincoat
and the sun said, SIKED!