November is a month
i dread, all the marking...
all the words ..... ideas
clutter up in my head....
all the hopes and ambitions
weigh heavily on my back.

the first day, my birthday
hip hip hooray!!!
then a rushing, pell mell
downward track
of red pens and meetings
going on and on and on

planning, prepping, late night stressing

then, when not at work,
not shirking, just not working
hoping to give the brain a rest
am bombarded...
like i am ******* in cheer
...continual messages of
christmas is near....
coffee and carols,
shopping and angels
harking, harking,
joy to the world, fa al lalala...
Santa queues
truly not an Ebeneezer
but Christmas teasers
in November make me grey
around the gills
fish out of water
lamb to the slaughter

and running on empty,
always empty,
just want one day...
when the world
would stop hassling
and just go away

no end of year parties...
prentending to be hale and hearty
with all sorts of colleagues
and academic smarties
no presentations of budgets..
thinner than last
no we could not fast
this area, to be on line
no it's alright, it will be just fine
while sculling copious amounts
of cheap, cheap, nasty  red wine.
no hangover from said feast...
no,  you be the one to corner the beast.

no more standing with mothers and others
watching children in a god awful christmas play
and clapping and chatting while little bettsy
recieves an award for knitting a sleeve
and george gets one for adding fourhundred and forty

please, please show me the door.....

not to mention hayfever,
daylight savings and more

but all this seems trivial...
when I consider
the blight of my life...
in the stakes of annuity.

the month of November has a great heart
Movember...a charity of moustache art
has an fanatic in my big, bluff,bloke
for a month he curries and cares for the
caterpillar  that grows on his lip...
a fuzzy flecked monstrosity
with the mange and a weird flip.

November a month of avoiding
the succour of contact....
with that thing,
my toes curl now
thinking of it....
tho I try not to react
(after all charity begins at home)
november november
truly you are the ***.

last year he bought
the ****** thing a comb



yet in the end
you are but a month
and it seems I survive you
year after year
thank god for take away meals
and long cold beers....

It was a day like this,
in March; smiling blue sky,
cheering wind, chill and brisk

A day like this, on the Charles

It was a good day
for sailing, hiking out
side by side, racing upwind
‘til feathers by the bridge
rocked us like babes,
laughing verses of Rimbaud
lamenting Milton
and the Arch-Fiend

We sailed circles round the eights
sculling their way to Henley;
we called them slaves
and gestured like Merry Pranksters

We tacked and jibed, glided downwind,
and on a broad reach, we saw Prufrock
standing on shore, downcast,
as mermaids slipped on board
and sang with us:

A verse for Nausicaa
A chorus for Eidolon

I feel dizzy in the head watching tv
And doing my art i don’t want to stop the watching tv and art cause I find it fun but I want my head to stop feeling dizzy, because I feel I am going to pass out putting my hands on my thighs like with my exercise
And even if I do well at exercises I pass out in the end
I fall on the floor which I don’t want
But nobody wants that
I want to be the best version of myself
But I keep passing out putting my hands on my thighs
People say hands off your thighs
So this morning I went to the doctor
And they gave me a heart monitor
To put on my chest for 24 hours
I go about my daily activities with it on my chest and I want to get back into running but my food I ate in the last 5 years is making me dizzy and feel lightheaded I get visions from my past even though some habits remind me of the past like skulking my water down reminds me of me sculling beer of Coca Cola in the past and I still think that all the coke I drank could be the reason why I pass out
It might not be the reason but every time I get up I feel lightheaded
I can’t have a shower before I get the heart monitor off but when I do take it off I will hop back in the shower when I get home hopefully they can figure out why I pass out while I am exercising

Patience is the drug.
The more I taste it,
the more it lingers—
a stillness I now seek.

I swim through its
endless depths, sculling
like a deep-sea fish,
where light is scarce,
but slits of beauty
glow along the fins.

It brings peace—
dilating the heart
like honey, slowly poured
into the vessels,
sweetness thickening
the body—richer than doubt,
denser than love.

God’s gift—passed to me,
without a question.