I am from

A yellow house and a little red bike

Bruises and Band-Aids on my knees

From learning every time I fall



I am from

The Band, The Beatles, Buddy Holly, and Bruce Springsteen

Our small kitchen table and Christmas cookies

From a family that almost fits on my Grandparent’s front porch



I am from

Summer memories and freckles and the Field of Dreams

The swimming hole, egg salad sandwiches, popsicles and pecan sandies

From Gramma and Fred and the Mill Road



I am from generations of tiny waists and dainty wrists

Of Marlise and Melissa and M’s

Brown eyes and pine needles and Big Rock

From denial and acceptance



I am from

Tea with my mom and driving with my dad

My beautiful Hazel

From the Harvest Party and my beloved barn



I am from soft white clouds of comforters

A room painted the shade of pink lemonade

Arizonas and cosmic brownies and Matt’s Honeydew melon Sorbet

From Quickway and the Gazebo and Cherry Valley


I am from a collection of keys with no locks

Chewed cuticles and paper cuts

A mouthful of words and a bad habit of tripping

From the love of glue and sharp scissors



I am from years of *****, bare feet

And freedom to be me

Getting the mail everyday except Sunday

From picnic tables and corn on the cob


I am from a love of language and words and poetry

A love of planes and tractors and the Superbowl

A big family as strong as the Brooklyn Bridge

And just as supportive too


I am from my dream catcher

Catching my fantasies of fast cars and shooting stars

A bottle full of memories and polaroids taped to my wall

From hip hop and coca cola and heart shaped sunglasses


I am from the baby freckles on my shoulders

A love of sun and freshly mowed green grass

Brave New World and Brandy Melville

From tweeting and handwritten letters


I am from the studio floor and my ballet slippers

My favorite black leotard and Fuentes

12 years of pointed feet and tutus

From the dressing room and the barre


I am from the Star of David and 8 burning candles

Suburban Philadelphia and Black Friday

Diners and Chinese Food and Fortunes

From my dad


I am from the cornfields and red barns

Chickens and cows, fresh eggs and warm milk

Valedictorians and Ivy leagues

From my mom



But most of all, I am from the puzzle pieces of myself

The dark, dusty, unexplored corners of my brain

The fear of death and rats and failure and loneliness

From the love of life and belief and hope

Tying the stray dog in my psyche
In view of wind racked palm trees , boats out to sea ,
an introvert with his ecumenical tools , watching for dolphins in his
cutoff jeans , with Pecan Sandies and hot green tea , his silver thermos
and his Sandburg poetry , sandals and tie dyed tee* ..

the pecans i buy
are not for me,
can’t justify a price tag
like that on myself

but when i see them
on the grocery store shelves
where the star bucks baristas
know me by name
all i think about is you

pecan sandies, mostly
but it goes good with pumpkin, too
and i know you’d agree

and i think about all these
things i have baked for you,
like trying to fill that hollow place
in both of us with sustenance
will make that darkness
a little less oppressive

who’s to say it won’t?

and there must be something holy
in the flour dusted on my black shirt,
hot oven in an even hotter kitchen
when you asked me so sweetly
for something i had never made before
and how am i supposed to say no

how could i?

and you weren’t mine to love,
much less fall in love with

but, just the same,
that’s not something i can bring
myself to regret