I am 104 kg and 6ft,
I constantly hear “You should lose some weight”
What do you think I am trying to do, I stopped eating processed foods, went on walks and was happy my weight stabilized,
then you had to run your ******* mouth

What is it about you?
Why can't you mind your own business?
Why is it that you find it okay to imply to my mother that my dressing is inappropriate, just because I wasn't wearing a duppatta

You judge my clothes,
Are you bothered by the fact that I rock both traditional and western clothes?
Are you afraid of the bold moves I make?
Are you afraid that your ladies are no longer under your control?
Let me tell you this, I am no man's Sabene, and I will not back down

Sabene is a phoenix,
her wings, you will never cut
You may burn her with your words,
but from those ashes, she shall rise,
Bolder, Braver and Freer than ever.

The world is broken,
The world is a mess,
Because we made it that way
- Sabene Rizvi

I looked out the window,
it was the only thing that could calm me,
well that and Nan's tea,
But nan was dead and so was everything that made me happy,

I stood there, just staring out the 2nd floor bathroom window,
somehow the silence, the streetlight and the potted plants on our neighbors balcony calmed me,
I wasn't having a panic attack,
No it was just my friend anxiety,

Anxiety and I met when I was a mere 10 years old,
I never liked her, no one could,
And she wasn't just my friend but rather everyone's,
She was like one of those toxic people who you could never seem to get rid of,

My thoughts came to a halt when I heard a rooster cluck,
It was an odd hour for a rooster to cluck,
It was 3 am,
But then again who knows maybe I heard something else and mistook it for a cluck,

I could hear my school mates voices in my head, Strange old crazy Sabene, day dreaming are we,
They never said it to my face, they were scared to,
After all I was taller than them by a foot,
But I could feel the judgement in their eyes,

But alas, they would never understand me, I had lost my father,
To them it was so what, there were other girls in my school who had lost their fathers and they were fine,
What they failed to understand was that our situations were different,
Those girls were sheltered from problems, had familial support,

Imagine this waking up one day,
all excited for the school trip,
Only to find your Aunt's husband at the gate,
With a crane,
Threatening to shatter your House's wall,

Life for me was like that,
I was happy, that wasn't acceptable, que exhibit A,
It was like this for years and then I decided you know what,
I won't get attached to anything so the universe can't take anything away from me