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Lucy Houbart May 2021
The journey of memory mealtime lane.
First stop, let’s get it over.
The painful place of supper time tension.
Watching the clock, start the race
To produce the evening prize.
Another plate – protein, vege,
A third of carbs is wise.

Table laid, stage is set,
But there’s a stomach-churning silence,
I’m staring at the wooden spoon.
His sallow face swallows and the
Fork shuffles, napkin placed on the pile.
His footsteps leave, we try to ignore
The deserted plate - talk and smile

Come on now, memory mealtime store
Fill me a tasty smell –
Grandmas’s larder – whole room devoted!
Crinkled brown paper nesting
Squares of brownies, gingerbread.
Eyes behold, like moons of light
Boubon biscuits, french sponge fingers.
Other worldliness, such a sight!


Now take me back to nice school dinners,
Waiting down the hall, up the playground steps.
Will treacle cake all have gone,
Just leaving rice and prunes?
Dreadful cold white mash potato scoops
Neatly spread apart.
My favourite - dark chocolate sponge
And jam pink marshmallow ****.

Join me to sitting round
My family kitchen table,
‘Best bit is the skin,’ Dad and me agree.
He approves as I eat
My little sister’s potato jacket.
I’m good and there’s plenty
And we’re all feeling full.
Every plate eaten clean, completely empty.

I remember secretly sneaking
Opening tins and picking out pieces
Of chocolate from choc chip cookies.  
By the window, our Kenwood soda stream,
It’s bottles like shop bought fizzy pop!
And Dad’s homemade wholemeal loaf
Unlike any bread from the shop.
My Sixth form packed lunch –
Two Ryvita sandwiches with a kipling cake,
A calorie counting diet
Eaten by morning break

Whilst writing the stove is forgotten
And now the smell of overcooked stew -
Burnt pan supper – a frequent memory.
I think I can save it, definitely cooked through.
Arriving at the end of mealtime lane,
A message to hang in the kitchen high above
Something I’ve learnt to remember,
That the food in our lives must be all about love.
she gave up bread and chocolate, told us many times.

ate ryvita smuggled it in, softer by the third day. lent



me ideas for writing.

told me it was for forty days, i asked why. she said it

was for lent.



i wondered if it was to do with jesus in the wilderness?

she said she did not know.



she explained.



it is just for lent,



bread and chocolate.



i wondered silently  if he gave up chocolate too

in that wilderness.



during dinnner i pondered loaves and fishes, kept

my thoughts to myself.



the dessert was chocolate. i ate it all



sbm.
We could always go fishing, he said, wishing there was something else they could do, but fate had denied him the chance to have pride in an imagination that did not exist.

Stretching out
like a cat uncurling
flexing.
I used to do it if you can believe it

stretching out
like a flag unfurling
wrinkled,
I can do that.

Her voice
spreads like Marmite on Ryvita
rough
sounds like, that I'd like to meet her.

Oh God,
it's Sunday,
I said,
but he already knew.

— The End —