A Beast of a man in appearance and soul,

A silhouette of her memories chilling him cold,

Sitting alone with his thoughts hating time,

Screaming inside trying to shatter his mind,

Immune to pain from his love of Roses,

The beautiful thorns struck vivd poses,

His love was a curse, She laid it herself,

A disease, a sickness, It shattered his health,

It occured at first sight of this beauty, This Belle,

Time had been spent she was treating him well,

His eyes wet with tears, His cold heart growing warm,

Foreshadowing revealed the oncoming storm,

She had to go away with a promise of return,

He gave her a ring and his voice had been stern,

He brushed her cheek gently and said very clear

"Remember my love, Im always right here"

After being home and revisitng her life,

She decided to stay, an unsuspected knife,

With the last of his soul he picked a final rose,

In the dark of his castle where the sun never rose,

Be it magic or hope the rose never dies,

Never to be witnessed by another Belles eyes,

He locked it away, Hidden without fail,

You say youve heard this? An old Fairytale?

I guess it is close. Similar at least,

Look closely my friend.. I am the Beast.

july i wake up feeling disoriented, today is controlled by a reckless impulse to grab harder than usual. i don't remember the last time peace was here, every day a survivalist journal with dreams seemingly straying farther and farther away - i simply pass out and wake up w blood in my mouth. despite my expectation of war tonight i am late and unprepared, guard down just my pulse screeching in my ear because today is sunday and im at your mercy. you are a righteous god, cruel and cold, and i still believe tonight i will feel your hand on my cheek gently softly even fearfully touching, but yeah its sunday and its july and i am awake.



i miss you you know - i remember each time i saw you for the first time. the first time it was october of 2023 and i went out the airport, was with my mom, it was cold i was wearing my fluffy jacket the one that makes me look like a bear my hair was puffy from all the braids i slept in last night. then my mom said ''isnt that him'' and i saw you riding your bike ur hair swept up by the wind and it felt like a miracle happened that day. a waking dream. the start of something. something, nothing could have prepared me for.

the second time was winter again january 2024 - you were with my heart shaped glasses i left behind, looking mighty cool. best week of my life. i wonder if our gum is still stuck on the pink panther. i mean cmon berlin truly was ours those days.

june 2025. the third time i saw you. its been a year. my hair puffy again w a white dress. i woke up hours to get ready, to look nice - my mom said i looked like a doll. when i saw you it felt surreal like im watching a movie scene - you were wearing your beagle boys t- shirt. you listened when i told you to please wear it. its my favourite t-shirt of yours. it didnt feel right that time. something had changed.

i miss you. i really really miss you. everything feels wrong now. meaningless. prison. it feels like i am in prison. a prison of memories, a prison of hope. september 5th is supposed to be our next date. i never really noticed until now - but i am a ghost. i am living in our shared memories together in a places long gone - from those swings to the benches. i keep revisitng - its all i have. i lay my head there and i sleep there. we cant go back and there isnt any time.