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uninvited GUESTS linkedin as the themes of mein kampf.

Despite countless factorial permutations
& combinations, this cyber surfer
avails left and right alm
seeking succor Out Of Human *******
invisibles shackles bind head,
shoulders, knees and toes
mom mee **** sic cured courtesy grim reaper,
boot metastatic cervical/ovarian
carcinoma snatched such balm
when tethered in utero umbilical connection,
etched bromide, which hankering calm
embryonic sensation this corporeal being lacks

constantly subjected to exams
from the brutal school of hard knocks,
which I bewail sets back and glom
mine aim to revel in blissful contentment
but circumstances decrees otherwise
cursing this chap tubby haunted
by veritable elfin grotto dwelling phantoms
hovering over sweet clover - dials a mirage
yes...iris sieve blurbs from gals and guys numb
burred in the billions,
that span the World Wide Web, and exude

premature ejaculatory ecstasy, puzzled if fie
totally tubular trod a tedious trek
along the boulevard of broken dreams,
what happenstance oft finds thyself to flail
amidst difficulty to maximize
optimal opportunities searching for Holy Grail
or whatever constitutes such lofty
personal objective, perchance being hale
and hearty of body, mind and spirit
spurs the furies of fate tut test this primate

while he aims to gallop with mighty industrial
vim and vigor leaving a virtual soundcloud
of dust, though mindfulness helps
to pass go, and chance avoid jail
time, then maybe monopolized feedback offered
to this toothless married quasi herbivore
enjoying poetry stone soup, yet also subsisting
on supplementary vitamin packed glue tin free
NON GMO fruity tall tales for a male
thirty six years shy sans Bing a centenarian,

which span of life best cut short with a nail
(possibly nine inches) hammered into
faux coffin, cuz this imp doth turn pale
at the prospect to fill up a space of land
best utilized by birds - such as quail
Mongoose, or ibis (though aye ne'er saw
one), where cremated ashes sail
across some verdant plain under
cerulean skies putting to rest every travail,
which thoughts of dem eyes spells

relief since potential homelessness,
pennilessness, and wretchedness,
the main impetus explaining
this rambling, shambling, and troubling spiel
the warp and woof ova gauzy veil
imperceptibly looms closer upon
turrets of my digital sea faring gunwale
and thus desperation finds
pleading for monetary
and  spiritual salvation.

Before mine danse
macabre doppelganger draws dagger
punctures the skein tight
as a yank key notched belt
housed within mine impenetrable
hermetically sealed invisible bubble
drapes with blackened Hades
hued habiliment therein dwelt
sinister saboteur mastermind
marauder of the Hubble

tattooing and piercing fiery
oculus rift presence unseen but felt
demands sacrifice to traverse
river Styx with unadulterated gelt,
which known phantasmagorical double
diabolical self amidst aftermath
from Armageddon rubble
astride charred global
ruins entire civilization melt
planetary paroxysm prognosticated

by Maya sages with 11th hour stubble
birthed Darth Vader nemesis
with evil upon earth he did pelt
annihilating, decimating, and hashtagging mankind,
the derelict species that fueled trouble
hence evil twin appointed
apocalyptic malevolence spelt
desiccation, humiliation, and laceration
upon once verdant veldt
with mass crematorium
desecration left horrific blistering welt.

Countdown to **** sapiens extinction
predicted millenniums in past
never occurred as predicted on December 21
two thousand and twelve after common era,
whereby catastrophic spark
detonating inferno incinerating blast
eradicating extant flora
and fauna bereft sans hegira
with no means to interrupt
the die since the dawn of civilization cast.

Impossible mission to escape ominous
predetermined fate of human rat race,
nor turn back hands of time
with origin of species on clock face
thus ticking closer to hour of doomsday
without faith to brace
allowing, enabling and providing Gaia
to redeem terrestrial space
vestiges of teeming billions
soon erased criminal minds without a trace
forcefully relinquishing simians
planetary stranglehold amazing grace
proffering tabula rasa
for another dominant species
to claim the place.

Sirens promulgate emergency
toward impending inescapable cataclysm
yet no place to run or hide lest
one boards a rocket light-years away
which makes suspense thrillers
birthed by countless dystopian authors
enviable plot to keep
total Earth's destruction at bay.

Matthew Scott Harris,
a lifetime America Online
Meme bur hastens to convey dire
crisis sparking to offer electric nom de plume
duyeer93, a papa who did sire
deux darling daughters,
yet for ages hive stung
with hurt early, whence fatherhood did fire
meow n childhood's end fostering people
strangers even fork
getting this communication,

per S0S sprinkled with auk shucks corny,
Egret - letting opportunities take flight aspire
now pleasures soft as gossamer feather bedding
down play hardened angst
riddled psyche, where ire
Ronny gully stubbornly thrives
amidst adversity as father time spins gyre
row scope at greased lightning speed,
intimating with dead reckoning to hire
grim reaper, who **** patient

as Job, and exemplary at ridding mire
and muck bogs down this dada robbing
existence with joie de vivre, where funeral pyre
doth flickr-beckoning GoDaddy, cuz
Juno I haint gonna hear angelic choir
or equivalent enlightenment re:
home sweet home, this atheist doggedly tire
so haim trying keep sea legs
one step ahead of tipping point
envision self pitched into abyss -
thus end of poetic wire.
Pennilessness shadows black
unemployment endless track
rails tie-er less lee when dumbly staring
overdrawn account issues
   another clattering smack.

Income pleat undergraduate degree
contributed to the role of a sporadic employee
time to acquire handy dandy blues clues key
lost within vacillating undermining spree.

Mental state can be a precarious widget-like thing
directly at the whim of financial sliding swing
self-destruction demonic ring
courtesy of pauperism
delivers the destructive poisoned scorpion sting.

Immortal force of please hear my cry
provide support while
   under the sheltering sky
steady (just out of reach)
   sought income bolster up high

mirage vision brings transient delight
to this great (former
Civil War Yankee) supreme guy.

If no breakthrough I do not foresee
charity not for profit (but only prophet) I will bee
and this blurb carved outside my cave-like hovel
many moons and break of the day find me

imploring existential vagaries this baby boomer
sans middle-aged man who hankers to be free
thus though aye to be a schnorrer

who scrounges parking lots for scattered change
yet...decries blubbering the beggar's credo
write out a check and mail to me.

Philanthropic persons
   may rightfully balk and get irate
at such brazen plea to squelch
   ma pecuniary financial state

yet where the crossroads of mine future
most likely crop up which
would cause far a tete a tete
meanwhile, stoicism bids me wait...

For Godot, Curly, Shemp, or Moe
the stand-in for a Stool Pigeon
or even an odd antagonist
   or protagonist dreamt
   by Edgar Allan Poe.
Vitriolic scathing psychological malevolent jujitsu
cruelly, fiendishly, incriminating
lambasting opprobrium rue
teenly dished out to yours truly

mechanically engineered hatred to stew
when passive aggression fostered corked,
where self destruction grew
tens of decades ago, when this then
much younger match chew

Scott doubted, hesitated, lollygagged...,
where in solitary confinement he brew
toxic shocking rancor towards father
and mother peaceful conflict resolution
they did eschew

much preferring hurling epithet laced
expletives out their respective mouths flew
acrimonious, furious, noxious...
which poison verbal barbs knew
no letup, nor elicited any reaction their

once upon a time adorable boy,
where they did view
my welworn, passive,
and inert mooching
their unacceptable hashtagged

ill begotten progeny you
know who, if not (spoiler alert) i.e.
this generally conscientious contemplative
enlightened self anointed guru,
albeit modest rarely

doth he (me) ballyhoo
brutally damning, flagrantly hellacious,
judiciously loathsome in *****
tibble malicious venomous tirades shew
wing no merci, when I long

overstayed welcome, yet feared moo
ving way past the age when most
grown children can't wait to pursue
autonomy, emancipation, independence, et cetera.

faith no more actually never prevailed,
only inculcated self hate
buzzfeeding iniquitous, inferiority,
incompetence, et cetera innate

worthlessness, despite positive feedback
when cute boy, but emasculation did penetrate
availing self as token "scapegoat" suffering
suckerpunches mainly name calling to deflate
an already feeble self confidence early

in mein kampf, I experienced
existential nihilism, and negate
purposefulness to live reinforced
as extremely introverted lad,
whose mien did connate

defenselessness subsequently rain
of incriminating abuse within
central processing unit did infiltrate
giving latitude for destruction to resonate
with suicide fueling anorexia

nervosa to exterminate
one germane measly, puny,
quirky... objective to obliterate
self, though parental intervention
did unfortunately vitiate,

whereby fast forward flickr
of pride did generate
altered states of perception
allowing, enabling, and

providing spirit to resuscitate
analogous preceding childhood's end,
when joie de vivre did dominate
and thy singular life innocence

and naivete didst insulate
glorious ebullient boyhood
I try to recaptcha filial love
as papa doth alleviate
crushing oppressive pennilessness.
Circa: 23rd of Tevet, 5760
     to 15th of Tevet, 5770
     in accordance
     with Hebrew date
(converted, asper Gregorian
     Calendar) courtesy of Google,
     which place of residence i.e.

tract 1950's) housing Penn
     Valley, Pennsylvania,
     I did execrate
essentially promised tubby our,
     (sans myself, missus
     and deux daughters),
     wrought abysmal fate,
where surviving members

     of spouse's birth family
     did supremely succeed in create
ting a hellacious,
     malicious, and pernicious
     living space oft times,
     (when we broke
     our daily bread) during
first decade of

     second millennium
Anno Domini worse fate
regarding ****** living social state
inviting longing tubby grate
fully dead, though premature
     demise would terminate
opportunity of experiencing quasi
     death row time,

     I would hate
tough missed bing
    cherry lee and pit
     tuff fully accused
     co-opting tenure
     as an ingrate
as perceived by in-laws,
     nieces, and nephews,

     who would not tolerate
my mental illness (schizoid
     personality disorder
     with ample helping of
     high anxiety, and panic attacks),
     **** sitter ring excruciating
     difficulty maintaining employment
     as reason to denigrate

pushing this struggling
     young family to absquatulate,
especially as figurative toxic
     barbs didst accelerate
soon after, we sit foot
     upon cluttered premises, jam packed,
     which haphazardly (helter
     skelter like) didst accumulate

with generations of trappings coagulate
ting heirlooms, hence
     presenting impossible
     mission to accommodate
the Harris kith (steeped amidst,
     a hoarder's paradise),
     elusively east of Eden
teasing chronic pennilessness,

     (mine lifetime theme) aggravate
ting this humble fellow,
     whose person others
     found an easy
     scapegoat to humiliate
marrying into a blood
     of bigoted, pigheaded,
     and small minded obdurate

folks intolerant
     of every creed dance
except frum Israel,
     and/or an affiliate,
this un men sheen hubble,
     and purported "moocher,"
     meme kickstarter husband
     quickly hashtagged to appropriate

accommodations never cared
     to earn good graces
     of MainLine
     rich Jewish culture,
     this atheist among hoi polloi,
     a roll (i.e. challah),
     he could never assimilate.
Poetry knows no age, as thee Marcia
Abramsohn write (by hand nonetheless,
a long lost art) inlaid with ambidextrous
zealousness impossible to identify,
which hand crafted artistically colorful
epigrammatic ghostly hint emblematic

of former exuberance toward English
Language..., perhaps other once
vibrantly familiar tongues wagging
less as tempus fugit slithers unseen
stealing most cherished, prized, savored...
commodity set to countdown immediately

post parturition, yet blessed for thee
to be gifted your four score plus four
amazingly graceful journeys celebrating
your existence replete with handmaid's
tales chronicling quotidian trials and
tribulations, yet still adept, buoyant,

cogent, diligent, eloquent, fervent,
gallant, hellbent, intent, jimmying,
kindling, loving, mustering, nursing,
outlasting...Methuselah (ha...if only)
lucid moments nudging awake
memorialized occasions, where once

upon a time (seems bajillion years ago)
innocence concomitant with naivete
throve, wherein unfettered dalliances
found untrammeled lasses and lads
absorbed with natural unbridled ******
love whispering sweet nothings strictly

for respective paramour, (this of course
hearsay and speculation) promising each
other moon and stars ah...dusty fading
memories, yours truly can never recount,
(cuz mental illness co-opted, hijacked,
up-ended...adolescent maturation,

whereby agonizing crippling forfeiture jabs
silhouetted illusory oasis peopled with
all the golden opportunities left to wither
on the vine o'mine youth, which mirage
mocks escapist attempt into literary realm
invisible dead poets society regale an

existence bereft (nope, no App could
ever even virtually duplicate (even
approximate) sidelined unrequited love,
and no this marriage yields scant
satisfaction, which fantasy life as
Norwegian bachelor farmer could solve,

where living off the grid could remedy
forever being pennilessness, day late
dollar short dime a dozen dirt poor
dude dulling dufus...that's the news from
my Lake Woebegone...where all the
women...and children above the law
never get reprimanded.
(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
     and perhaps even avail
herself (sight unseen),
     with a moderate chance
     zee spouse might bewail
this bread crumb

     winner, chauffeur,
     bill payer latching
     on to mine tattered coattail
in an effort to
     sustain this misery loves
     company wedded
     harrowed distress,
     where future prospect

     appears dim (sum) mutt
     unlikely to curtail or halt
     this (mine button nose to the
     grind stone) pennilessness
     only promises inevitable derail
ment, since grow
     wing unflattering pessimism
     only harkens more (spiraling

     down rabbit hole re: abysmal)
     substantial hardship
     (possibly even homelessness),
     asper my remaining lifetime
     woeful struggle - as sigh exhale
before figuring out what to write
     for these ensuing
     lines, yet strongly anticipating zero

     lucky search for a female,
if this mister didst
     decouple from his caboose -
     whereat Abby Robin (the missus)
     will holler "VAMOOSE"
     as an opportunity to exit
     clear and present danger field
pinning optimism for a gal,

     who exhibits ambition,
     earns her own income
     (or per slim or fat chance
     might be independently wealthy),
     plus bing hearty and hale,
this chap communicates
     no outlandish fanciful
     general electric sponsored idea,

     which elaborate or general sketch
     for some ideal counterpart
     might immediately impale
any likelihood on
     a figurative crucifixion
hmm...maybe turning
     to a life of crime,
     and befriending a foul mouthed,

     heavily pierced, and
     tattooed in jail
professing pseudonymous party privy
     to access Swiss Bank accounts
     own much moolah - kale
as said in the narco
     world wide webbed trade,
     thus such laundered legal tender,

     would clearly evince
     natural "green thumb" talent
     in tandem with sharp (as a hawk)
     business acumen spiriting over
     financially choppy waters
     as doth a lugsail
with this aging
     baby boomer male

he generally steers
     toward straight and true
     analogous to an ace
     carpenter blindly hammering
     the head of a nail

pounding out frustration unsure
     if asking price over-scale
regarding negligible
     demand for preowned,
     housebroken, and domesticated fellow,
     whose demeanor pastorale.
Fraught traumatized wordsmith
telephonic grand slam rent psyche asunder
witnessing helpless cannibalization,
hospitalization, victimization
concerning writer of these words,
and riders on the storm
namely robbing me third eye blind
of legal tender
under the convincing guise of Apple
computer technician pretender.

Buried deep inside
the dark webbed wide world
yours truly sends electronic sos
while being twirled
to and fro hither and yon
seeking emotional, mental,
and spiritual reprieve.

Incalculable loss of
countless crisp Benjamins
hungrily ****** up
and spit out as Bitcoin cryptocurrency
triggered stark realization
being under wicked spell
of one who calls himself Harvey Specter.

He cast a trance
upon body electric of mine
asking, coaxing, finagling,
ingeniously luring me to forfeit
every ****** red cent
constituting checking and savings accounts
two of each now registering zeros.

Quite an exhausting effort
taxing body, mind, and spirit
to wrench unhealthy vice grip
from out the analogous maws
adrip with ****** flesh.

No explicable rhyme nor reason,
how sense and sensibility
got blindsighted, when ordinarily
keen acute insight
can scent out immoral treason,
nevertheless when cruising cyber seas
late morning June twenty first
and also the twenty second
human piranha unexpectedly
found fresh **** in season.

Dumbfounded at mein kampf now
how stupid of me to surrender
blithely, forthrightly, willingly
thousands of dollars
as if held spellbound
under a somnambulant trance.

I keep reliving, requisitioning
and revisiting hellish nightmare
corporeal entity
waking up in a cold sweat
although dog tired
muster measly necessary energy
to summon sleepwalking
disembodied spirit
quietly whetting appetite

to succeed realization
bringing to fruition
impossible mission to catch thief
finally hatching pièce de résistance
witnessing long overdue comeuppance
to him who exploited innocence
of one aging beatle brow
foo fighting baby boomer
reduced to pennilessness.

Ye dear benevolent reader
might be tempted to rebuke or scold
(spare the rod, cuz I give myself
a regular severe dressing down)
merely seeking, praying,
and kick/jump starting
philanthropic aid forthcoming.

Unlikely culprit(s) will be caught
most likely rejoicing regarding
psyche of fraught
punishing me where
rainy day fund rendered naught.
Thus yours truly resigns himself
June first two thousand and twenty three
to imagine being gifted with untold riches
courtesy  female named Jean E.

This ***** (caricatured familiarly
epitomized, demonized, characterized...
countless Chaplinesque productions,
Dickensian tales,
oil paintings from artistic
hands of great masters,
and other anonymous
exquisite craftsman, et cetera)
remembers practically nothing
of nine month stay in utero
birth, childhood nor early adulthood
my amorphous gauzy,
hazy fractal memories
solely comprise fractured,
fragmented and splintered collection
of miserable memories
character wry zing living
hellacious hand to mouth
hard scrapple existence.

Past wispy vestiges of wretchedness
present woebegone existence, which seems
a worse fate than death
overpowering urge to survive
summoning up one
barely audible l'chaim utterance
against depredations rustling
grim reaper found nothing
but defeat daily dismal
grinding away of last shreds
repurposed driven life fending off real
and imagined threats sought salvation
vividly encased within
preserved imagination,
an existence awash
with trappings of southern comfort
provided by Jim Beam.

Yours truly dug deep
with bony introspective strength
in tandem with fantasy notions knocking
around in figurative
heady noggin like cranial carapace
to muster every ounce
of strength escaping
chronic confrontation
endless streak of bleakness
cursed with brutish, nasty
nefarious fate as a measly

looking human varmint,
this grimy, grungy, rangy,
et cetera looking besotted being
clung with all might
within mine five foot ten inch
and one hundred
and fifty plus pound body
to transcend twerking terrestrial travesty
tweeting and tweaking
fickle finger of fate against favor.

I tapped atavistic survival skills
summoning willpower
to stay alive drinking butter bear
heavy cross of dirt poor poverty
borne no matter
a hard-core skeptic at heart,
this cynic plaintively
called divine intervention
to help this human piece
of flotsam and jetsam

to cope living like a doleful
junkyard dog essentially
abandoned, ignored, cancelled
and shunned vagrant
frequently raged against
Deus ex machina manacled movement
found figurative amidst
literal unlovely bones
slim pickens with demons
that tormented psyche

while traipsing along litter strewn
condemned boulevard of broken dreams,
torn and well-worn shoe
kicked discarded items
weather beaten hands reflexively bent
to retrieve accouterments
comprising colorful jagged shard,
previously housed cheap fermented liquor
nothing but crud filled
remnant of dog gone
boozehounds’ favorite drink.

Although never drawn
to drown sorrows
by turning to the bottle,
cigarettes nor drugs
(a respect for thyself existed),
an automatic reflex caught
eye-catching attention
comprising anonymous drunkard’s signature
lost memento and wireless device entity
constituted a dullish metallic object,
which turned out to be a heavily damaged
slender MOTORAZR (long obsolete) phone.

Out of foolish embarrassment
qua natural instinct,
i raddled then rubbed
remnant once containing
amber liquid of the gods’
irrational explanation in mockery
against cosmic consciousness, my mouth
jabber walk key talky like
into mobile phone these chapped,
course and cracked fingers
slid across unbroken surface
of antiquated bottle in tandem
with parched lips uttering
cockamamie pretend plea, a crackle, snap
and pop delivered a lifelike being whose
corporeal essence resembled a goddess.

The mp3 player issued magically
syncopated beats indicative per favorite
saved playlist tunes former owner
of electronic contraption
without a shadow of doubt,
this vision and auditory music definitely
brought sobered Punch
to this Judy schuss schlepper.

I clapped these nearly deaf ears, thence
rubbed mine-gnarled hands
across myopic eyes.

These twin ****** motions
executed just to dismiss
stray chance of experiencing hallucination
a maiden suddenly appeared
in plain view,
which disbelief found me
pretending to conduct
make believe conversation
via encrusted cell phone
while speaking a matter of fact tone of voice.

She (in a hypnotic, lilting,
melodic and sing song tone)
responded with casual chit chat
genie hill (Alladin like)
everyday, general friendly conversation
eventually ensued fraught
with apprehension and self
consciousness) before purpose
of her presence
became clear, an intuitive
understanding took place
akin to acute telepathic Sikh sixth sense.

Immediate difficulty arose
to think of one wish
to abet grievous humiliation
and immersion in miserable
penury, which might be abrogated
once and for all
with immediacy by simple syllabic voicing
for a pile of crisply minted money, yet
rather than blurt out immediate offering
for untold material commodities
and resplendent riches,
i surprised myself and
communicated a desire
for female friendship.

A gamesome, genteel, gentle gal who would
surrender herself for cries
and whispers seemed
more important than any pile of wealth aware
cha self-actualization about
my utter decrepitude
appeared as immediate
deterrent toward attaining
a bona fide sincere relationship, an ordinary
and reasonable ambition appeared as lofty goal.

Self absorbed in rambling
longing of body, mind
and heart, I quickly became oblivious
to imaged or real corporeal presence
who spurred outpouring
tears of joy per this
ostracized and unwanted vermin eyes
while loosening the tongue in an effort
to picture the escape
from pernicious malady
crushing breathing room
of abominable existence.

Lips shut tight also
prevented the woebegone loss
what appeared as some
divine trickster who conjured
such a muse out of thin air
upon winding down
this unrehearsed recitation,
a painstaking effort
got made to open the eyelids very slowly.

Lo and behold, when manifestation
in actual dolled up guise
of a gorgeous gal stood still as a statue,
and remained rapt
with attention provenance
and provenance found pleasure
in my prattle, and promise
got uttered by lovely lass
to remain a permanent
die-hard companion
no matter many considered
this paperback writer wannabe
nothing but wretched
pestilence of the earth.

This groveling gremlin
of a human felt like a beast alongside
one beautiful babe, who came across
as genuinely modest and passionate
to promulgate profound sharing of body,
mind and spirit triage, where homelessness
and pennilessness mattered not a whit
to this literally spellbinding goddess,
who seemed to materialize out the heavens
in the likeness sans Betsy Ross.

The question how
and where did this muse
render herself to appear
out of thin air puzzled,
and quizzed curiosity
assessed and gleaned no matter
not one word uttered,
thus necessity for conversation
seemed superfluous for we both
seemed able to converse
by autosuggestion of this,
that or the other query.

I (by the way) seemed
to be more intrigued
in this angelic spirit
come to life viz comedy of errors
that punctuated anonymous
life with angst king lear
riddled tragedy suddenly took
a most pleasant unexpectedly
found that all’s well
that ends well with this leery king
from southeastern Pennsylvania
possesses great expectations
by dickens no matter the field
of whet dreams populated
with slim (shady) T. Boone Pickens.
Impossible mission for yours truly,
sans this dada to validate
those two most significant mentors,
no paternal biased trait,
(who I helped beget) enroute to great
adventures toward enormously

enviously exciting destinations,
thus birth father doth ululate
eternal burning tears boding
indefinite fare thee well,
cuz propensity to
become autonomous innate

within each body electric,
and offload emotional freight
unnervingly, unscrupulously, unwittingly...
within impressionable off
us spring psychs did create,
(especially thine eldest)

perceived intentionally deliberate
indelible, unbearable, undeniable,
unforgettable, unlearnable, unpardonable,
untenably insufferable state
psychological crimes, misdemeanors,
and punishments who bore brunt

regarding mine cratered distrait
parental moon unit gravitational pull
thus itching to break free
and cleared eighteenth circuit atop oblate
spheroid around nearest star
December twenty second, sans

(bench marked circa 1996), her birthdate
I unknowingly long fostered
execrable despicableness and did generate
antipathy, loathsomeness, vileness...
ripe opportunity she hightailed out our
reprehensible company she did hate

despising dirt poor existence portrait-
quick to compare/contrast our pennilessness
with rich Mainliners, where dire strait,
i.e. particularly financial since household
income equaled zilch figuratively

queued, hexed, aligned... with eight
ball, cuz we wanted progeny late
in life, despite afflictions
with mental illness
additionally unkempt, unsightly, untidy,
where chaos and entropy did administrate

residence discouraged "star student,"
nee repulsed offering extending
invites to any chummy classmate,
plus inapropos behavior,
I exhibited oblivious impact
analogous bing saddled to heavyweight

see millstone upon first born psyche
even now, she smolders
thus doth dissociate
with this "sir" and missus,
oh yes...much more aye could narrate!
Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
***** impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress strong urge to excrete,
linkedin, kickstarted and coaxed
soon after swallowing medicament
'course yours truly needed to defecate
while taking shower and washing hair
which sudden incontinent spate
comprises anecdote, I poetically relate.

****** obstruction found me doubled over
with lower abdominal distress,
whereby comfort found
me unable to lie
down nor sit upright
(with back padded with pillows
against the cellar brick wall),
thus severe bloating
a bonus well nigh.

Methought generic garden variety fellow
invoking libretto ohm resistant understudy
waste not want not allowing, enabling
and providing relief,
without successful defecation
despite the oppressive urge
to bolster Uriah heap of balled up
and tuckered out five foot and ten inches
of lovely bones, thence mouthing retraction
of former thought to cease existing
though a non-bull lever in
power broker qua mankind
relief at long last provided
posterior answered prayer
yet, this scrivener scrutinizes his
recurring pain in *** mock jagged torture
and asks rhetorical
one word question "WHY"?

Methinks constipation doth spell
worse fate than hell,
which latter named state experienced
while Harris family lived
at 1148 Greentree Lane, thus warrants
the following "fake" farmer
almost a dozen years ago
to craft verses about Penn Valley dell.

Digression away from titled theme:
Circa: 23rd of Tevet, 5760
to 15th of Tevet, 5770
in accordance with Hebrew date
converted, asper Gregorian
Calendar courtesy of Google,
which place of residence i.e.
tract 1950's housing Penn
Valley, Pennsylvania, we
(myself, missus and deux daughters),
we overstayed our welcome
during that decade
abysmal cruel fate,
where surviving members
of spouse's birth family did execrate
and admirably, royally, supremely, et alia
succeeded beyond their wildest dreams
to invoke, foster, andcreate
perdition during first decade
of second millennium Anno Domini

They would not tolerate
my mental illness (schizoid
personality disorder
with ample helping of
high anxiety, and panic attacks),
**** sitter ring excruciating
difficulty maintaining employment
as reason to denigrate
pushing this struggling
young family to absquatulate,
especially as figurative toxic
barbs didst accelerate
soon after, we sit foot
upon cluttered premises, jam packed,
which haphazardly (helter
skelter like) didst accumulate
(steeped amidst, a hoarder's paradise),
elusively east of Eden
teasing chronic pennilessness.

Yours truly, humble fellow,
whose person others
found an easily convenient
scapegoat to humiliate
marrying into a blood
of bigoted, pigheaded,
and small minded obdurate
folks intolerant of every creed dance
except frum Israel, and/or an affiliate,
this un men sheen hubble,
and purported "moocher"
said accommodations never cared
to earn good graces
of MainLine rich Jewish culture,
this atheist among hoi polloi,
a roll (i.e. challah),
he could never assimilate.
(alternately titled:
this ****** temple pilot ready for Styx)

I hate tubby a nuisance
     boot ma checking account...
suffered a major hit strafed
     with a shock king
     (difficult to absorb) 'bout
mid morning today August fourteenth,
     tooth how sand eighteen
     and got rushed with clout

to the nearest emergency triage facility,
     the doctors (all
     named Piggy Penny Banks)
     shook their head with doubt
prognosis for recovery requires more'n
     just a dime a dozen,
     (or quarter back) appeal,
hence my plea for posting,

     this helter skelter heroic measure
     summarily and in fact
     donate myself (earning Purple Heart
     as a non veteran)
     bone a (er) fide done deal
yea, aye even forgo thine
     **** a doodle doo lil pecker,
     which minimally doth
     newt rue, stir, nor ring

     atrophied house broken
     barely visible ***** tis docile, and
     (like a game ****)
     ***** nilly able
     at a moe mince notice
     dir wreck lee (stand stiff)
     head over heal
no...no..no, though

     strut that eye feel rendered poverty stricken,
     a sudden dark mood
     finds me less eager tubby alive
asper thine primary (albeit only)
     checking account poorly
     weathered a kamikaze nose dive
with the plight of pennilessness
     unexpectedly looming...

     (parental advisory) breaking news at five,
when motley crews auto be buzzing
     like a b52 sized bee hive
ah...mine posthumous fame,
     and fortune posse sub bully
     as palliative relieving
     grave gallows humor
     small consolation, whereat
     I cannot fathom to facebook,
     snapchat, nor do the shutterfly jive!
Desecration, desertion, designation,
yours truly doth poetically dislodge
destabilization, destination, description
I auto deftly, but did not dodge

regarding destitution, hodgepodge
comprising 2009 Hyundai Sonata
wheely tired to noodge, yet cannot
drive out accursed tread
full fate, nor outdodge.

Critical breakdowns spanned decks
cumulative deleterious effects,
thus versatile reasonable rhyme I flex
cuz, methinks paragon of evil spirit did hex

issued hardened, gnarled, index
finger pantomiming strangling necks
accountable incorporating potential
yet steered clear dire wrecks.

Approximately August 2018
to present i.e. January 2, 2020):
one malfunction after
another did not abate
voluntarily listed quasi alphabetically

in order demonstrate
pennilessness incurred courtesy
every red cent, I did hate
to squeeze out checking account, irate

mood a one worded understatement,
nonetheless I venerate
to express absolute zero
tolerance to communicate
quick succession prohibitive
mechanical malfunctions,
I painfully delineate.

R&R PARKING BRAKE SHOES
PARK BRAKE SHOES
PARK BRAKE HARDWARE KIT BATTERY
PRE CER BRAKE PAD
BRAKE ROTOR
BRAKE CALIPER
BRAKE HOSE GENERATOR
SHOCK ABSORBER (driver side front),
TIRES (and sensor).

Hence prayerful notion woke
ah, think blinding and
ear splitting thunderstroke,
perhaps tardily to one slow poke
after eyes bugged out of head espying
invoice(s), I lamely mumbled okey doke,
what more could be said,
dang, me experienced ministroke,

thus doggone divine intervention
futility aye feebly did invoke,
the aforementioned summarized
list bloke not surprisingly
depressing state affects
garden variety bloke,
understandable a worse than
(think) one who gasps and doth choke
Poetry knows no age, as thee Marcia
Abramsohn (the former ex lady friend
of my late father corresponded with me
some years back)
wrote (by hand nonetheless,
a long lost art) inlaid with ambidextrous
zealousness impossible to identify,
which hand crafted artistically colorful
epigrammatic ghostly hint emblematic
of former exuberance toward English

Language..., perhaps other once
vibrantly familiar tongues wagging
less as tempus fugit slithers unseen
stealing most cherished, prized, savored...
commodity set to countdown immediately
post parturition, yet blessed for thee
to be gifted your then four score plus four
amazingly graceful journeys celebrating
your existence replete with handmaid's
tales chronicling quotidian trials and

tribulations, yet still adept, buoyant,
cogent, diligent, eloquent, fervent,
gallant, hellbent, intent, jimmying,
kindling, loving, mustering, nursing,
outlasting...Methuselah (ha...if only)
lucid moments nudging awake
memorialized occasions, where once
upon a time (seems bajillion years ago)
innocence concomitant with naivete
throve, wherein unfettered dalliances

found untrammeled lasses and lads
absorbed with natural unbridled ******
love – gathering rosebuds while they may
whispering sweet nothings strictly
for respective paramour, (this of course
hearsay and speculation) promising each
other moon and stars ah...dusty fading
memories, yours truly can never recount,
(cuz mental illness co-opted, hijacked,
up-ended...adolescent maturation,

whereby agonizing crippling forfeiture jabs
silhouetted illusory oasis peopled with
all the golden opportunities left to wither
on the vine o'mine youth, which mirage
mocks escapist attempt into literary realm
invisible dead poets society regale an
existence bereft nope, no App could
ever even virtually duplicate (even
approximate) sidelined unrequited love,
and no this marriage yielded scanty

satisfaction, which fantasy life as
Norwegian bachelor farmer
(within mine imagination) solved,
where living off the grid remedied
forever being pennilessness, day late
dollar short dime a dozen dirt poor
dude dulling dufus...that's the news from
my Lake Woebegone...where all the
women...and children above the law
never get reprimanded.
Incrementally corporeal essence, here
to fore i.e. figurative spear
tire of mine, doth elicit despair
daily appall, thus I air
part tickle laurel lei objection
     able bane, cuz this tear
rubble flabbiness a glare
ring anatomical feature, I swear

shape shifted into a dare
ridge hubble unsightly
     bulge ballooning mere
lee (just south of nada so clear
lee belly button), where
former wash board abdomen veer
hilly subsumed by displeasing scare
really hated love handles glare

ring paunches noticeable, especially
     when belly bare
adduce sing the culprit bing
one or more daring
pharmacological prescription eliminating
debilitating panic attacks,
     albeit re: fashioning
my metabolism, but

     necessary medications giving
immeasurable un bull heaving
relief to this generally
     skeptical person instilling
joyus rapture, where
     psychological state jitterbugging
(a slight bit of hyperbole,
     I tango with) kickstarting

long overdue ability
     to experience living
shorn of paralyzing anxiety,
     yes every now and again
     isolated heated flare ups making
stellar appearance, asper
     when literal "NON
     FAKE" pennilessness,

and a concomitant stress
     inducing circumstance naming
management due to inspect
     occupied apartment units
this next oncoming
week (October seventh -
     thirteenth) inducing palpitating
heart, irritable bowel syndrome,

     and non quitting
excessive (no pun intended -
     heavy handed) perspiration,
but generally "speaking" quieting
torturous unbearable
     woebegone raging
adrenaline hellishly riotous smiting
my body electric

     condemning torturing
poisoning relentlessly (like
     stinging scorpions) upending
many prime decades vice wrenching
yoking ambivalence nose zing
worthlessness toward
     total mortal kombat!
Jumpstarting outstanding undertaking...
bringing jouncy, spectacularly crafted,
nuanced, zesty, noteworthy, creatively
spirited enlightened written poem.

This raggedy man doth inconsolably weeps
kept rudely awake whilst disobedient sheep
incur wrath of Little Bo Peep, she lambastes
protesting courtesy rambunctiousness being
future mutton chops with "haggis and neeps"
though hungry enough to eat a horse, yours
truly - me cannot afford mouth watering heep
meager stacked coins no higher than antheaps.

Yes, I still rant and rave at crooks who won
built and trussed up trust minting yours truly
for all his worth inescapably zapped all cents
of mine labeled as easy prey, branded til time
of his done on Earth immemorial prodigal son
absolute zero (the big goose egg) zilch wifely
survivor benefits nixed in other words... none
meaning, she will no longer address me as hon
mortality gussied up as grim reaper will anon
be taking aging beetle browed foo fighter to
(elysium) elysian fields after tomb morrow.

Red hot poker faced beggars me to seek wage
perhaps being ventriloquist's dummy & bring
about Renaissance of the once renown
Vaudeville (comedy without psychological or
moral intentions, based on a comical situation:
a dramatic composition or light poetry,
interspersed with songs or ballets) stage
door opening revitalization second decade
of twenty first century veritable newage
social media platforms displaying homepage
only more egalitarian than storied Gilded age.

Major blunder blinded insight compromised,
jeopardized, sabotaged novel storied wealth
scam artist affected my sought after demise
courtesy weapons of mass destruction stealth
bombarded, fooled, lobbed..., psychological
manipulation upended marred mental health
hacking away byte size raw bits of gray matter.

Discover re: visa vis yielded me mastercharge
amplified ohm my dog, what in tarnation did I
unwittingly bring about pennilessness wrought
truth out there and trust no one equals lessons
(courtesy Mulder Fox Special Agent and one
of the two protagonists of Fox science fiction-
supernatural television series X-Files) taught
(think unlucky duck) professional quackshot
commandeering, guiding, lying, ravaging...
(albeit convincingly) me to withdraw money,
what amounted jackpot stripping away leaving
yours truly bereft of financial buffer - naught
one red cent barely able to afford one kilowatt
only natural light utilized to power just barley
my gofundme page titled implacable ill fate
battered treasured wealth.
Aha - argh... oh my dog...
don't mind me muttering, eh?

Earlier today (May 5th, 2020),
I forget thee exact hour
found me utterly beside mice elf,
matter of fact even at this moment,
yours truly doth feel mad at himself
cuz Aldi's merchandise (mostly food)
needed to be restored to their proper shelf.

Upon further contemplation
me thought quite futile
and pointless to expend energy subsequently nill...
best swallow figurative bitter pill
and maximize opportunity to take quill

in an effort to salvage sanity lest poetaster
schrieks with voice noticeably shrill,
thus if curious to discover visa vis
motive poem got crafted read further if ye will.

Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) card, i.e.
formerly known as food stamps
I never secured into wallet for safe keeping,
mine minor ohm my dog oversight surged thru me
(as if charged with a bajillion amps),

said aforementioned revelation occurred
while standing in a long line at Aldi's
attested whereby other patrons stood
pipsqueaks in tandem with their gramps
which snaked all the way to "5th and Japip."

Pointless regarding yours truly,
ordinarily insightful and adept
(in short, a generic and garden variety
local ******) who schlepped
courtesy rubber express
(think shoe leather) - except
sneakers adorned little (mine) feet
thus imagine hypothetical inept

hobo or ***** his bindle
slung over shoulder
traversing countless miles,
cuz an odometer he (I) kept
indicated staggering and sprawling distance,
sometimes on all fours (faux pas) he crept
hence no way would exhausting effort
be made for nought.

Riches to rags summarizes bio in short
former spendthrift and prodigal son
with lip service paid toward quaffing port,
whence reduced to penury, a courtship wasted
mein kampf of pennilessness insync with sport
despite feted happy occasion,
I discreetly did cavort
unbridled shenanigans bedding young nymphs

entailed minimal effort,
when lavish catered affair slated to celebrate
one lovely slip of a lass,
she (no rookie) beguiled
stealthily intended marriage to abort,
nonetheless gaining handsome dowery
with quintessential private escort.

We both acquired deserved comeuppance
therefore allowing, enabling and providing
me opportunity to attend contra dance
by going stag
wowed by gamut of coeds

moost who with subtle nonverbal cues did entrance
oft times imagining traipsing across France
courtesans attending every private need
ah... so much for castles in the sky
invisibly concocted via
strong swooshing dominant arm with lance.

In reality scratching out what began as prime
motive to detail forgetting ebt card
intending poem to communicate
spending more',n dime
times one hundred

hemorrhaging checking account
as momentary lapse of reason with rhyme
as often occurs time and again
poem takes fabulous convolutions
squeezed like figurative lemon going from
ridiculous to the sublime.
two alternate titles:
1. Gander seeking goose that laid the golden egg
2. Incorrigible lottery dreamer
linkedin with previous poem I wrote
though modesty deters
crafty, lofty, nifty, thrifty... wordsmith
and Perkiomen Valley poet
i.e. yours truly quietly to gloat.

If lady luck smiles on me denote
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer
rather Ferry large boat.

A fool's errand finds me
emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings
increase ...fivefold, sixfold,
sevenfold, eightfold, ninefold, tenfold...
ample resources to remould
living nonestablishmentarian existence
surrounded courtesy webbed, wide wold.

Paradise visage and eyes
a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with
Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth
overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought

expect the usual outcome
after next drawing
to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant
mega millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach
until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine
figuratively impregnable longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
allowing, enabling, and providing
arrogant stance where proletariats deigned
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate

courtesy  poverty that doth grind
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”
strewn into a bajillion little pieces

Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the missus, this wordsmith notates
unwittingly linkedin to his misfortune,
a situation he hates,
especially, an unavoidable crisis,
whereby passage of time abates
negligible onus of penury.

Soon after surrendering
(viz laundering) cash to bitcoin
immediately realized sinister trap
scammer prepared me to enjoin
egregious outcome surpassing
severe case of acne
treatment courtesy isotretinoin.

My ordinarily clear complexion turned wan
imprecation triggered suicidal ideation
overdosing on medication
escape from absolute zero
vanished capital pennilessness *******
welcoming self induced mortality did spawn.

Though weeks elapsed
since scammer
(smoked top of line cigars,
and/or quaffed vintage
amber liquid of the gods
signaling snagging a poor sucker)
made out like a bandit,
the squandered money
I still bemoan,

a grown man doth still groan
moroseness seeps
within his lovely bones
witnessing him curling
into fetal position versus lying prone
forever and anon envisioning himself
cast into the outer limits
of the twilight zone.

As a fool hardy way
to assuage loss,
where illusions of grandeur stray,
I regularly purchase lottery tickets
either Mega Million or Powerball
imagining being the lucky winner
then livingsocial
as a bachelor farmer in Norway

chomping down a delicious plateful
of powder milk biscuits
after countless hours pitching hay
while custom made robot named Barbie
adeptly programmed to prepare
Lefse, Krumkake, Lutefisk,
and Raspeball/Komle/Klubb,
she also doubles up as the abbé
of my fortress domicile.

Ha... an overactive imagination to boot
healthy escape from the maws of destitution
nevertheless, one old baby boomer coot,
who can prevaricate
knowing full well nobody
(especially the folks
from Lake Wobegon) cannot dispute
these marvelous turns of phrases I execute
while listening to The Magic Flute
an opera in two acts
by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
to a German libretto

by Emanuel Schikaneder
and of course after wolfing down
Norwegian cuisine listed above,
I will need (sorry to be cheeky) exercise
thy well endowed glute
(short for gluteus muscles)
a group of muscles
that make up the buttock area,
which group consists
of the gluteus maximus,
gluteus medius, and gluteus minimus.
(thus forever experiencing craving to eat cheese)

Nothing but gridlock traffic
(far as thee eye could see)
heading east on Schuylkill Expressway
(oxymoronic name for quickest route
into center city, albeit Philadelphia),

yet this papa promised eldest daughter
freshly minted University
of Pennsylvania graduate
hoping to make amends
prior to first born heading

of into blue, (...er rather green,
asper legal tender) beyond
(without doubt experiencing more
financial security than yours truly,
whose penurious crisis

tantamount to being self ostracized
within luxe MainLine,
where one percent flaunt their wealth
disparage dirt poor folks like this sir
meaning husband, his spouse

plus attendant two biological kin
reinforcing feeling inferior,
among those earning or
inheriting fistfulls of moolah,
said offspring also lodged opprobrium

citing slovenly housekeeping
amidst generations (Zison heirlooms)
yielding barely ample space
our family of four analogous
to sardines in a tin packed to the gills,

which pennilessness exacerbated
since neither mama nor papa (me) worked
reasons squarely linkedin to mental illness
asper myself - chronic anxiety, panic attacks
with concomitant courtesy benefits;

adrenaline maddeningly coursing thru veins
palms sweating profusely, racing heart
irritable bowels syndrome, nausea, vertigo...
physiological symptoms

played offal, nasty, malicious
cruel version of knick knack paddy whack...
with these lovely bones
severely disabled me to function
academia, employment, socialization...

imperiled satisfactory existence
learning, working, commingling
felt like butchered bovine
at slaughterhouse five.

bonhomie within beastie boy here
in short supply, an understatement,
now impossible mission to recoup
sabotaged, jackbooted, atrophied....
blissful happy go lucky little boy

blessedly energetic innately
nervous tensing up,
manifesting cringing pose
no matter parents lenient
though father bellowed stern rebukes

perhaps interpreting paternal rejection
sole son less gifted prowess with smarts
in short, no weigh,
shape, or form, a polymath
cultivated, habituated, ossified

once playful quirky little rascal
set tilled under veritable weathered
sedimentary stagnancy for peat sakes
psyche got bogged down
into impermeable metamorphic hardrock.
A diabolical, inimical, piratical,
and venal worm,
whose cut throat devious shenanigans
found yours truly to squirm;
his addiction to money (mine)
sated until he ****** me dry
analogous to nicoderm,
yet impossible mission
to smoke out the most minute germ
converting life savings of mine
into bitcoin cyber currency.

Horrible reality of being hoodwinked,
preyed upon human vermin
immediately upended high jinxed mien
floundering ten thousand leagues
under the cyber sea
analogous to Titanic submersible.

I always feel myself surprised
to what length con artists (scammers)
expend themselves, when they
(he, she) could be
productive citizens of society.

In plain English,
yours truly got blindsided, extorted
interrogated, needled,
tricked, and frankly zapped
courtesy fobbing off
honest to goodness verity
springing from computer malware
kickstarting me to be virtually robbed
in broad daylight
with the fullest consent of
self anointed aspiring poet,
(steeled against irony

as if liberating money
in both saving
and checking accounts – two of each
emptied out as if expunged funds
belonged to somebody else),
when delivering a sucker punch
that cost me more than
thirteen thousand dollars
inviting such thoughts
to overdose on prescription medication.

Hence, the shonda rhyme
of utter literal pennilessness
decries hatred linkedin
proclaiming scathing wretchedness
upon the talking head
(with a clipped dialect)
ensnaring unsuspecting victims
(lower case in point -
writer of these words),
when Macbook Pro laptop
got rendered non functionally disabled
thank you ghost in the machine,
wherein reigned indubitable chaos.

Hence, loss of nest egg
(found me cracked up)
regarding resultant monetary liquidation
fall of the crowded house ushered
disquisition without hesitation
briefly describing my death
originally due to fetal positioned
congenital psychological affliction
and today's painful aggravation,
when countless Benjamins
gussied up as hobgoblins

joined human league
averse to plaintive benediction
thence, this with mine jetblue
skinny legs like a chicken
his (mein kampf) got dealt mortal
(who gives a hoot) blowfish
rem mains disintegrated
by mailer daemons usurped dereliction,
whereby sanity given eviction
in the subsequent fiction

that makes feeble attempt
to evoke stricken gumption,
where eons ago nihilistic thoughts rode
roughshod to wreak humiliation
upon prepubescent initiation,
whereby the antithesis of jubilation
kept the author (yes, yours truly)
like a trapped mouse
in a cat protected kitchen,
where no cheeses cur heist
could rectify or bring libation.

Noah hide dee ya what mailer daemon
possessed this earthlinked
live nada so hotmail
to splutter so much persiflage
as evidenced above and in the following.

Ye might well categorize
the palaver as pure llama
heaped dung attempting
to sneak into yar consciousness
as some esoteric badinage aspiring
to convey that this doodler
with words adroit
with the english language.

Temptation to bid fare thee well
bah humbug anguish
cuz down the gullet goes lethal drug
e'en without any farewell hug
after smacking lips polished
off deadly drink from mug.

Within reverie long fostered hankered freedom
at last attained to exit silently
terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid
during hulu heralded century 21,
which would deliver
(ants sir) rectifying eternal senescent deliverance.

Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness
and goodwill toward men/women
served as a mere pretense
extant the global arcade.

Nothing boot charade, enfilade
(albeit with limp poetic/
prosaic pugnacious), facade,
gilded hilariously inside *******.

Ever since he kickstarted lifelessly,
his noggin oddly plunged quietly
resting as a deceased shutterfly
tonight under vaporous wisps
as somber mood prevailed
amidst the cloistered silence imposed from
the shunted cremated preference
re: symbolic (logical)
figurative burial of Matthew Harris
subsequently reincarnated as soft dust.

Potter's field here I come,
one harried styled swiftly tailored
faceless book earthworm member
joined the rank n file
of his slimy brethren n cistern
when a mortal male
(crushed courtesy cruel
cockamamie crime) ceased
to live June twenty first
two thousand twenty three.

I foresaw how miserable fate worse than death
resolved, albeit at loss to kith and kin
of beloved brother, father to deux
darling grown daughters and husband
since July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
now left destitute and widowed.

Immune to antics of scallywags,
the grim reaper undertook requisite business
and swung a his scythe with effortless breath
and started coffin.

He exhaled little billows of cold air
while awaiting the hearst
carrying lifeless body
of none other than me doppelganger.

Prior to imagined demise, I took special pains
to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.

A mossy glen with a mill by the pond
of my boyhood swimming hole
served like the ideal welcome mat
for the return of this native son
long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.

At pinnacle of storied fame
death struck (with welcome arms) unexpectedly
while dodging the madding crowd
off hucksters, punsters,
and xenophobic bummers
jostling to get a glimpse of renown author,
where paparazzi seemed
destined to track me down.

As the advocate of countless essays
on inalienable rights
for all creatures large and small,
no pause from the hounding
local populace offered peace of mind.

Until now!

The prospect of dying
never scared this non-believer.

Cessation of consciousness
essentially served completion of life
in corporeal form
and reconstituted physical being
into grist for other organisms to flourish.

Karma and glorious unique characteristics
comprising each of our respective charisma,
dogma, and persona
(generally comprising an enigma
to the world) absorbed
after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.

Brief occupancy on this terrafirma
as inscribed in genetic code
(merely a blink of an eye
in the universal schema)
gave this now deceased dreamer
notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.

One need not globe trot
(and boast of espying exotic places),
but could experience inner harmony
by imbibing the present.

Simple pleasures that abounded
in the wild or evoked via creative imagination
of august writers supplied
ample sustenance for satisfaction.

Contemplative and introspective mien
prompted Eros to be discerned
in the grand canyon of Mother Nature
in tandem with personal motive
to indulge like-minded thinkers
since the beginning of time.

Any given day frequently found thoughts
turning over every figurative
jagged rolling stone
when the veiled, shrouded, cloaked...
characterization invoking angel of death
might silently spring a surprise visit,
which metaphysical thought
interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.

Why?

Upon termination of enjoying existence
in living color, the eradication
of this pet peeve of mine i.e.
anxiety/ panic attacks
interwoven with inxs
of obsessive compulsive behavior
would dissolve into basic elements
of earth, wind and fire.

No iota amount of matter
marshaled the non-entity dimension
would assume command.

Those former psychological trials
would thence be relinquished
from their parasite role
and recompose cells
of one mortal man (me)
into matter to be recycled
into raw materiel
for other organisms to feast upon.

Basic constituent cells
of **** sapien in question
would become necessary seeds
for some other manifestation
for plant or animal development.

Godaddy maggots sans fancy feast,
a best buy per this former
foo fighting beastie boy,
whose nihilistic outlook
promulgated within his in utero psyche.

Gestation as an embryonic fetus,
the potential live, googly eyed,
earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy
harbored no oshkosh bug gosh
pinterest to remain
in the world wide web of bad company.

Hence, nothing could mollify measly
mumbling linkedin kibitzer,
albeit progressive matchless
who unwittingly opened
the red box of Pandora.

Molecular features
would assume novel combinations
thru said degradation of flesh,
yet improvisation of biology
would wield wasted corpse
that once epitomized an articulate,
civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate,
kind male into novel marvels
of unpredictable genus and species.
Good n plenti riches abound
unreachable to gentle
hermit while aboveground,
human ship of state
fore'er stranded aground
only thru death do him part will
his grievous soul get spirited airbound

chokehold sensation ceased when freedom
against debtor's prison unshackled
humongous human corporeal being all around
to little monetary largesse
arrived too late to astound
pipe dream eternally left within background
******* kippered, milquetoast pockmarked,

Goliath scarred, voodoo battleground
visible near completely ****** lovely bones
partly denuded flesh
buried shallow belowground
scouting, scenting, scrabbling
one after another bloodhound
clamors leaps and doth bound

nosing, trumpeting, yelping...
despite snout muzzled reinforced brassbound,
no deterrent grisly bared, limp, lifeless body
sacrificed at skull and bones campground,
despite decay tell tale
hunch unearthed mound
picked over remains evince sound

bloated girth deceased,
not surprisingly packed orotund
size appetite conveniently weighted
gravity helped fell
giant gourmand chowhound
demise linkedin automatically tightened
neckerchief doubled as noose clothbound

neck, the luckless bard dead -
poets society he didst cofound
oh captain my captain compound
suffering no more, departure doth not confound
those familiar with ravages of pennilessness
although glum spouse doggone bewailing
analogous to melancholy coonhound

inescapable woebegone travails decompound
constituted complex challenges
doom also depressed petsmart deerhound
four footed friend invisibly yoked, where
writings witnessed scrivener
daily voluntarily deskbound
unsuccessful chicken scratch disbound

dispersed newpages feted
German, Oriental and American cockroaches
courtesy proffered grubhub,
wet precipitation courted mildew,
and mold beheld fancy feast dumbfound
ding maggoty parasites riddled
treasure trove discovered earthbound

corpse hungry flocking carrion
heralded all points of compass - eastbound
most popular, hence route crow did house,
cutthroat beasty boys
aided, devoured, gorged...,
among which canine corps elkhound
leader of pack tacking course enwound

roundabout path barking commands
ruff lee didst expound
slinked sly as foxes -
shushed kindred brothers
up ahead wolf gang,
thence took faux minute paws
aware fresh meat fairground

survival of fittest edict woof lee decreed,
when sudden thick terrain fogbound
not impossible mission, though
totally opaque foreground
keen sense of smell and hearing aid found
dead reckoning, i.e. ground zero.
Every blasted acrimonious misdeed
aye indelibly perpetrated
affecting ye and the Punim for life
hounds me doggone soul night and day
venomous wrath torments, strangles, racks...
every bone in mine entire body

suicidal ideations haunt every
waking and sleeping hour,
perhaps previous attempts to communicate,
(albeit poetically - for no rhyme nor reason)
fell short, asper yours truly
to claim accountability, culpability, responsibility...

unwittingly subjecting thee, a prized progeny
with legacy, where
diabolical, emotional, psychological... trauma
compromised your care free growing up years
namely while residing at 1148 Greentree Lane
exacerbated by mine self absorption

countless hours misspent
whiling away precious time
mesmerized more so
with computer technology,
versus prioritizing fleeting moments
with "mother" and/or offspring

yes..he now pays heavy price
pursuing amorous liaisons
gallivanting, flirting, emailing...
impacting (obliviousness
pitifully lame retort unacceptable)
feigning much ado about nothing

snappishly barking anger
such vitriol (mine)
sabotaged once in
lifetime golden opportunity
to foster, kindle pinterest
with spouse and daughters

subsequently deepening rift
rivalling Mariana Trench
love's labour's lost forever
frittering away compounded
half heartedly seeking employment

even though - NO LIE
inexplicable debilitating anxiety
buzzfeeding panic attacks
plaguing my psyche
since...birth, incapacitating
maximizing potential abilities

playing havoc pledging troth
with counterpart exhibiting
mental health challenges
unfairly begetting deux darling lasses
thee bearing brunt of pennilessness,
at aforementioned residence

unlivable, horribly untidy,
toxic with mold, cluttered...
such offal sight, sounds of screaming,
(when Shana nonverbal), stench...
now suffer (PLEASE BELIEVE)

suicidal ideation plagues my conscience
pointed objects quite inviting
remembrance of things past,
a worse fate than death!
PLEASE FORGIVE DADA...?
Pennilessness disallows me
     luxury tubby globe trekker
hence, my imagination
     takes me random places minus
     the hassles of
     any rubber necker
gawkers always staring
     at major or minor

     crash test dummy
     vehicular accident,
     (now strictly, squarely,
     and specifically,
     for poetic license purposes
     of this reasonably
     rhyming adversity
     I dreamt up, while

     driving Miss Daisy, this
     "FAKE" serious, albeit
     totally tubularly
     fictitious **...
     **...humvee wrecker
involving holiday passengers
     seated in luxury
     of double decker

self driving bus,
     which collided with a sleigh
     carelessly manned by Santa Clause
(though no animals i.e. reindeer
     harmed in the writing
     of this video script)
     donned in his
     New England Patriot

     Scottish Tartan checker,
thus the aforementioned,
     non fatal narrow brush you
need rest assured, sans
     make believe death - whew
fortunately miraculously,
     and unbelievably true
lee delivered angels

     intervened clear
     out of the blue
mainly conjured from
     me matt chew,
hoping ye dear reader enjoy
     what I figuratively drew
merely to distract thee

     dearly especial fan
     to sidetrack vital tasks and brew
up a mug of warm
     spirits from a moo moo
kosher bovine amazingly
     able to understand Hebrew.
Hue more, a dog send,
asper how this poe
whet tick mutt air ring
mortal doth cope with woe
principally said misery prevails
because a dearth of dough
cash, liquid legally rendered
assets, money, y'know

what I mean, and securing, and
maintaining employment efforts go
south, cuz yours truly
experiences extreme anxiety,
where perspiration doth flow
most significantly moistening
palms when this bro
fills out application,

or during interview so...
to spare myself such
grievous anguish, although
such acquiring a job, the
quickest most obvious to diminish
penuriousness whiplashing to and fro
primarily due to requisite ought toe
motive repairs (ordinary

wear and tear),
this unearned income of mine - so
shill security disability
(monthly electronic depot
zitz), the sole source of mo
knee for myself and the missus,
(who also unfortunately emo
shun null lee dogged by ******

logical pitfalls since her grow
chee parents (both deceased) unaware
of her mental afflictions decades ago
lacks any checking, and/or
savings account, lo
she wants for disposable income ***
ping to rely on me for spending money
on regular basis, which by Joe

siff, mother and Mary
stresses thee only means
to sustain financial status quo,
hence my lament and plea
for succor, yet just blow
wing figurative steam also
bring a modicum of alleviation, as
does talking to a therapist, crow

wing about pennilessness
day late dollar short,
hence cue thee oboe
or violin somber
(pitiful) tune - **...**...**...
methinks gofundme site not apropos

cuz just a couple thousand bucks...
would allow me to get show
back on the rodeo
circuit, but I hoop
not to engender glow
warring revulsion - whoa!
drawn courtesy lots of byte size chalk.

When e'er I summon fat chance
to empower me self with courage
and steal a passing glance
in the mirror then instantaneously
hairline fractures appear
than 'afore long
snap, crackle, pop
becomes crystal clear,
whence aluminium glass mirror
(made of a float glass
incorporating additional processes)

leaves highly reflective
fractured surface patina 'ere
one narcissistic blackened barbed ken
whiles away countless hours
unseeingly preening, primping, and pruning
e'en the slightest glare
ring blemish finds cause
for cosmetic surgery
(namely liposuction)
evincing ghostly interlinear
crows feet and dark

circular "bags" that distinctly leer,
which medical term for skin folds
and ballotable skin edema
described as “festoon,”
or “malar mound,”
an eye sore overclear
demanding grotesque immediate
dermatological action
(if necessary) taking
extra adipose tissue from rear

end supposed extra junk in the trunk,
where moon a fish scent derrière,
would not be unduly sore,
perhaps requiring
(whatever would suture self)
plus donning extra padded underwear,
which subjugation voluntarily
"going under the knife,"
would stave off depredations aging
(such as puffy eyes)
at least for another year.

Until the end date regarding
mine cessation, damnation,
glorification -ha time on Earth
(hammered into crucifix
courtesy nine inch – rusty - nails)
my changed body morphology
particularly around equatorial girth
unwanted layers of flab allow, enable,
and provide me to burn wicked fat
these cold winter days and nights
serving yours truly as built in hearth.

Incremental corporeal essence, here
to forge i.e. figurative spear
tire of mine, doth elicit despair
daily appall, thus I air
part tickle laurel lei objection
able bane, cuz this tear
rubble flabbiness a glare
ring anatomical feature, I swear

shape shifted into a dare
ring ridge hubble unsightly
bulge ballooning mere
lee (just south of Montana) so clear
lee obscuring belly button – an innie , where
former washboard abdomen veer
hilly subsumed by displeasing scare
really hated love handles glare

ring paunches noticeable, especially
when abdomen bare
adduce, deed hoos, and
reed hoos sing the culprit bing
one or more beneficial
pharmacological prescription medications
eliminating debilitating crippling panic attacks,
albeit re: fashioning
now alien metabolism, but

necessary medications giving
immeasurable *** bull heaving
relief to this generally
autobiographical, comical, ecological,
grammatical, illogical, kinematical,
methodical, (parenthetical), rhetorical,
theoretical, vertical and  
xylographical off the old block  
exhibiting joyus rapture, where
psychological state contra dancing,
jitterbugging (a slight bit of hyperbole,
where I tango with) kickstarting

long overdue ability
to experience living
social shorn of paralyzing anxiety,
yes every now and again
isolated heated flare ups making
stellar cameo appearance, asper
rendering literal "NON
FAKE" pennilessness,

and non seek quit tore ring
excessive (no pun hush meant intended -
heavy handed) perspiration,
but generally "speaking" quieting
reductio ad absurdum unbearable
woebegone raging against the machine
adrenaline hellishly riotous smiting
body electric non verbally remonstrating

condemning indescribable torturing
poisoning relentlessly (like
stinging scorpions) upending
many prime decades vice wrenching
yoking ambivalence kamikaze
nose diving worthlessness toward
total mortal re: suicidal bombing mission.
battered pinata like

Yours truly courtesy servitude
tethered existence suffers neck
brunt of yoke
fiscal recklessness got me woke
within cosmic schema,
a mere infinitesimal speck.

Insolvent crisis principally bespoke
interestingly enough
caught me off balance
sudden pennilessness
(dollar short/ day late dada)
analogous to vice grip
stranglehold doth choke
coffers emptied
*****-nilly Okey doke
colorblindness
fundamentally governed me

into zombified state
thus another plaintive plea
I repeatedly, lamely, and feebly evoke
meaning remuneration welcomed
courtesy altruistic generosity, magnanimity
and philanthropy humble
anonymous Lake Woebegone folk
ideally Norwegian bachelor farmers
to alleviate fiasco from fiendish
fraudsters frazzled father.

In plain (Schwenksville speak)
broken English,
I fell prey to hustlers
audacious, ferocious, malicious,
voracious, zealous tricksters,
who stealthily found entry
into my Macbook Pro
and locked computer screen
with threatening implication
security of mine private domain
awash with byte size bits
of valuable information
at risk of being tampered
with or obliterated.

Analogous to eminent domain of yore
mine digital terrain
manifest destiny meant war
virtual flesh and blood
regarding these lovely bones
yours truly gussied up
as chargé d'affaires
sent on risky (business) dutiful tour
to inflict comeuppance on him
who rendered me poor
as a Unitarian Church mouse,

plus I recruited
offspring of one of countless
related German Shepherd dogs
featured in fictional stories
on film, radio and television,
who starred as Rin Tin Tin
belonging to elite K9 Korp
receiving unexpected support
courtesy end of gum
(cryptic message for ye
to chew on) sympathizers
voluntarily boosted success
at recouping major financial setback
my morale viz extempore.
Bloated swollen cheeks
analogous to first Chinese Brother,
who swallowed the sea,
now non sequitur
off beaten track i.e.
less apropos re: guarding
par for race course as if

ace driver won Grand Prix
latter referencing international
horse race for three-year-olds,
founded in eighteen sixty three
931 + 932 = above number
satisfying ghost of Fibonacci.

Original idea predicated whereby
all Americans heartily feast
(stuff themselves to the gills)
salivating cornucopia dime
a dozen lonely people
bemoaning holiday re:
traditional Thanksgiving time,
celebrating joie de vivre chime

wine glasses clink full house,
where ushers pantomime
proffer gobbledygook and
motion rapidly hungry guests
toward smorgasboard prime
tables for gluttonous
to commit punishing crime.

Tentative arrangement made,
whereby oldest sister, and husband,
(who live a jaunt away from Maple Shade
more precisely Woodbury New Jersey)
would swing by Schwenksville

comprising one car motorcade,
thence to shuttle 31.5 miles southeast
our mutual (of Omaha) friend,
I met when counted orbitz
during late 30/early thirtieth decade.

Offer to drive out of their way
presented, since our 2009
Hyundai Sonata did betray
accountability, dependability...
reliability oy vey
woolworth no more than

couple/few Benjamins
yet real challenge constitutes
yours truly, née
theme underlying mein
kampf pennilessness pray
I did (despite being orthodox

atheist) to no avail
relying upon social security
regarding disability (mine) Mayday
forthrightly, feebly, faintly...
calling before men
donned with white coats

came to take me away
to the happy home with trees
and flowers and chirping birds
and basket weavers who sit,
smile, twiddle their thumbs and toes.

Communication break down
compromised eating humble pie
regarding this ole man
upended above mentioned plan

whereby attending
hosted by: Gail la Dorfman
afforded ruber express
thus with Forrest Gump I ran
all across Ocean way thru to Japan.
alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer.

A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings increase ninefold.

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought
expect the usual outcome
after next drawing to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine figurative longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”
Curse yourself
Curse your roots and your tree
Curse your father and his father
Curse the world and the day you came into it

For they made you who you are
They made you not enough
Just enough to fall short

Curse it all
Wail and gnash in agony for the world will always lie just beyond your fingers
And the stars will dazzle to remind you of everything you cannot have

Oh you wretch and wretched existence
Penury and pennilessness
Names and forms you have become
Shame and shamelessness


So go on
Curse
Curse them
Yourself, your father and his father
Your roots and tree
Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to appease acclaimed unnamed wordsmith
cause he feels alarmed
crafting poem worse
than ChatGPT artificial intelligence
app can write
will find him superfluous.

Thus writer of these words
forever mus lee experiencing
craving to eat cheese,
a milk product
eternally preserved within
annals, chronicles, epistles,
et cetera of human civilization
and it's discontents
analogous viz ode (old)
as time itself and lustressly
buttressed on a Grecian Ode frieze
linkedin to Sosibios Vase inductees.

Carp diem bespeaks moment to seize,
whether above memorialized chaste lovers
or emblematic, iconic and opportunistic
actresses Thelma and Louise
the 90's film of female rage
an adventure road drama
caper they did stage,
but aforementioned seminal wage
courtesy Rameses II
begat robust lineage
synonymous with sturdy anchorage,
whereby said prolific *******
endowed legions of sons and daughter
to carry on heritage.

Nothing but gridlock traffic
(far as thee eye could see)
heading east on Schuylkill Expressway
(oxymoronic name for quickest route
into Greek translation
center city of brotherly love,
albeit Philadelphia),
yet this papa promised eldest daughter
then freshly minted University
of Pennsylvania graduate

hoping to make amends
prior to first born heading
of into blue, ...er rather green,
asper legal tender beyond
without doubt experiencing more
financial security than yours truly,
whose penurious crisis
tantamount to being self ostracized
within luxe MainLine,
where one percent flaunt their wealth

disparage dirt poor
festive folks like this sir
meaning husband, his spouse
plus attendant two biological kin
reinforcing feeling inferior,
among those earning or
inheriting fistfulls of moolah,
said offspring also lodged opprobrium
citing slovenly housekeeping
amidst generations (Zison heirlooms)

housed within residence
at 1148 Greentree Lane
yielding barely ample space
our family of four analogous
to sardines in a tin packed to the gills,
which pennilessness exacerbated
since neither mama
nor papa (me) worked
reasons squarely triangulated
linkedin to mental illness

asper myself –
unsung hero of tom tom club
chronic anxiety, panic attacks
with concomitant courtesy benefits;
adrenaline maddeningly coursing thru veins
palms sweating profusely, racing heart
irritable bowels syndrome, nausea, vertigo...
physiological symptoms
played offal, nasty, malicious

cruel version of
knick knack paddy whack...
with these lovely bones
severely disabled me to function
academia, employment, socialization...
imperiled satisfactory existence
learning, working, commingling
felt like butchered bovine
at slaughterhouse five.

Bonhomie within new riders
on the purple sage foo fighting
beastie boy here
in short air supply,
an evanescent understatement,
now impossible mission to recoup
sabotaged, jackbooted, atrophied....
blissful happy go lucky little boy
blessedly energetic innately

nervousness found
yours truly tensing up,
manifesting cringing pose
no matter parents lenient,
though father soulfully
bellowed stern rebukes
perhaps interpreting paternal rejection
sole son less gifted prowess with smarts
in short, no weigh,

shape, or form, a polymath
cultivated, habituated, ossified
once playful quirky little rascal
set tilled under veritable weathered
sedimentary stagnancy for peat sakes
psyche got bogged down
into impermeable metamorphic
igneous hardrock.
My checking account
     currently barred and devoid of zest
experiences historical drought,
thus any heroic measures viz,
     undergoing thee absolute best

financial care ablution,
     e'en that most noblest
and cents able action
     expunging charges, would be
     seem counter productive

     wishful thinking to in vest,
thus this Citizen
     Banker, now vouchsafes,
     (as he thrashes in throes)
     of extreme emotional unrest,

and speculates intervening
     triage emergency measures,
     would be the last best
     electric acid kool aid litmus test
to alleviate permanent ******

     logical damage or worse...
     permanently affecting ability
     for him to be himself and jest...,
exhale relief along the entire
     amortization Common wealth

     (plane as spreadsheet) embankment -
     prayerfully yours truly
     hates tubby a pest...,
but further pennilessness
     would unexpectedly

     doom maturation,
     and hasten bankruptcy,
     hence he hurriedly
     writes this incomprehensible
     gobbledygook

     attempting to impersonate
     legal minted missive
     (so please pardon
     any flabby bankrolls,
     these fatty deposits

     figuratively accidental
     faux pas to get worry off chest)
cuz, now at night
     (or even during the day),
     I can never rest

in peace, nor even if aye
     scaled fully i.e.
     ascended Mount Everest
lugging entire quite
     thin monetary portfolio,

     nonetheless accomplishing heartfelt
     highly interesting fiduciary mandate
     (told from loan officer),
     not the least bit impressed
with every last ounce

     of effort ambition reinforced,
     plus with good luck amulet
     ankh ring crampons,
     but no matter such extreme steps
(anyway, say hypothetical principle

     last ditch resort fell thru,
     whereat unexpected unbalanced demise
     of Matthew Scott Harris occurred),
     and his disembodied soul
     joined among grateful dead,

     relentlessly wracking and
     writhing, hence request
ting money matter duress
     as ye probably
     (and accurately) guessed

please exempt further payments,
     cuz he (meaning I)
     would feel immensely blessed
if remaining balance purged addressed
to CAP officer at

Citizen Bank World accessing credit cards:
This health conscious lx year
roam'n, hoodwinking hoodlum doth wear
two pair bullet proof underwear,
(which confession rarely trumpeted),
plus yours truly admits unclear
why tibia long in the tooth fellow,

prevaricates with tongue in cheek oh contraire
good n plenti humor absent clear
sense and sensibility so beware
me figuratively pulling poetic foot
mainly "white lie" fibula I air
discombobulated gobbledygook,

which corroboration ye might declare
choosing to cease reading
feeling in high dungeon as all hell... where,
twitching (bull leave me you) nostrils flare
analogous to spewing dragon
rare endangered species from Zaire

of corpse stewing in dungeon
hooping on wing and prayer
to attend Renaissance Faire,
thus word wizard conjured
aforementioned as metaphorical veneer
cuz, he really sought to pioneer

his breakout poetaster career,
thus far batch
prefabricated rejection letters
posits alternative to forswear
writing another feeble rhyme
relieving anonymous critics

providence beckons I hear
doom and resignation refrain
repeatedly hammering and echoing
within chambers of each ear
mancave best provenance
divine providence especially if nuclear

war rents tentative moments to spare,
which doomsday looms clear,
perhaps half fortnight away
fatalistic mindset, I despair
money woes exacerbate pesky news
sense under_scoring dallying,

dithering, lollygagging... while linear
rise regarding global temperature
gives cold comfort the buccaneer
occupying oval office laissez faire
attitude, hence pennilessness moot
total mortal kombat global warming

further accentuates real Halloween scare,
no trick only ill treatment
unleashed courtesy mutineer
hand over fist handily did profiteer
minting daily another bajillionaire
government coffers bursting

mother earth biosphere square
within uber targeted crosshair
talking heads poles
apart as global warming
melts Antarctic frigidaire
Santa Claus reindeer and elves

schvitz as north pole melts
in short shrift oblate sphere
formerly teeming with life
field day for hardy
indomitable creatures thriving
within most scary nightmare.
Entrapment videre licet fiendish
gnarly hustling scheme erector -
sent me to the poor house, where alms
not forthcoming to ease financial affliction,
where yours truly money matters still stymies
ways and means to relocate
to a two bedroom apartment
courtesy low income housing.

Eleven months ago to date,
I fell prey to the wiles of a scam artist,
who initially managed
to hack way into the Macbook Pro
rendering same computer I use now
such that impossible mission
to allow, enable, and provide
any process to be completed.

A gofundme page
once again set up courtesy yours truly,
which honest to goodness attempt
to bolster substantial forsaken funds
(essentially thieving joint
nest egg of mine and the missus)
deftly hawked pack of lies

blindsiding me to surrender
hook, line and sinker
practically snagged and bled out
these lovely bones mine every red cent
squirreled away as a quite paltry
monetary security net.

The spectre and haunting existence
of Harvey Specter
(the alias cyber spatial highway robber)
still riddles the psyche of this joker,
who continues to chide himself,
particularly when realizing
combined lost assets
lock, stock, and barrel meant that though
poor as a Unitarian church mouse,
I can not provide succor

(in the form of American currency)
which penury disallows us
to dole out for our second born
and youngest daughter,
(who at age twenty five
shares an accommodation
in Bend, Oregon -
with another twenty something gal
a bajillion miles
from dear her ole papa and mama -
located in southeastern Pennsylvania)
paternal nor maternal capital to ease
her own woebegone challenged situation.

Said unnamed progeny, and her oldest sister
(by about twenty six months difference)
feel shortchanged by parents,
whose bereft checking and savings accounts,
plus truckload of
mental health issues contributed
to a dysfunctional heartache

living poisoned ten year decade of misery.
I admit unintentional grief
heaped upon the souls of deux innocent lives
which two offspring begat
courtesy a virile birth father and fecund mother,
whose joint home economic pennilessness
(even prior to letting the pang of procreation
run to sow wild oats)
set at least one figurative strike against us
when embarking to journey
(as a super tramping foreigner)
upon the family way.

Utopia for wretched wordsmith
would constitute enough disposable income
to relocate within a place like Lake Wobegon
"Where the women are strong,
the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average."

Its city motto is "Sumus Quod Sumus"
("We are what we are").
alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of Stanley steamer.

When my ship comes in loaded
and laden with precious cargo
from busy ports far and wide
captains trumpeting their arrival
donning sunglasses traipsing incognito
yours truly spied
at merchants wares
cast dark shadows
from the outer limits at noontide.

A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
while being gagged and bound with a blindfold
My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My angel is the centerfold
steaming with madness analogous
to exhaust or intake manifold,
especially as the winnings increase ninefold
videre licet building castles in the air
courtesy precarious scaffold
tumbles down into a bajillion little pieces untold.

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
and utter premature *******
from penury a distant battle fought

expect the usual outcome
after next drawing to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hand to mouth
hardscrabble existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail,
where fanciful notions
pluck me out being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine figurative longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate,

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with my poetic side
third eye blind
(living a life of total focus
on the empty, finite lusts
of the material world,
instead of on the promise
of eternal realms of life hereafter)
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send

delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation assuage temptation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue.

No..no...no...DON'T GET CLOSE
cuz, yea...yea...yea...
I suppose mailing altruistic donation
would be the safest lagniappe bet,
where over exposure
would most likely NOT infect thee,
though these really quirky,
phony (funny) germs can be inhaled
across transmission wires
thru the nose or data packets

bounced off satellites
as telecommunications specialists
worth while (and/or) even if I fall
precautions taken even extreme measures
such as cryogenics,
(where an individual
ideally after they die)
doth get froze,
nonetheless this communiqué
must be heeded cuz most effective,

and best assimilated
before one takes a doze
essentially (non fatal) lottery mania
flow within my entire being
from head to toe fungus
infected what this old rattletrap
specs castles in the air akin to a house of cards
careering into scattered mess
(resembling 52 pickup),
thus unknown reader

dune hot dare casinos,
gambling halls, horse racing, et cetera
lest ye contract an immobilizing,
yet fearless innocuous diagnosis,
buffer in themselves
with aspirin do sing glaring bug eyes,
plus affecting a hair styled,
and swiftly tailored demeanor
accompanied with Scrooge
(tiny timid lee)

intimating lurching, and ogling
qua monopolistic greed
expending every last red cent
indeed finding one
impoverishing themselves
at reo wagon light speed,
especially after getting flying high
courtesy stone temple pilot
buzzfeeding me with ****.

— The End —